pigstyblogger
New Member
Fighting my own little war on grime, one insurgent at a time.
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 45
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Post by pigstyblogger on Feb 26, 2009 19:42:00 GMT -5
This is my first dispatch from the frontlines of my war on grime on this forum.
First, some definitions.
Insurgents: Trash, dirty, and other scum that need to be eradicated.
Hostages: Those wonderful things that you forgot you had, and just found again after clearing out some insurgents from your life.
Sleeper Cells: Insurgents that like to masquerade as civilians or hostages, such as 90% of that stack of mail you haven't looked through.
So, in another thread I claimed I would be taking out two bags of trash tonight. I decided, instead, to get one bag ready and grab the computer room chair (the one I bought way back when I first posted on Squalor Survivors) that broke a few months back up at the door and ready for delivery to the dumpster. Two insurgents bagged, tagged, and ready to ship.
Most of the trash I bagged were a sleeper cell of old junk mail. I tend to pile the junk mail right next to my front door, and "clean it up another day". Today was the day. In the process, I discovered one hostage. My sunglasses. On particularly bright days, my eyes sorta shut down, making bright sunlight painful to me, and driving an unsafe activity at best. Thankfully I rescued the sunglasses before I encountered another such bright day.
Before too long, I'll be taking the insurgents out, and who knows... maybe I'll fill up another bag.
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Post by dayeanu on Feb 26, 2009 23:22:04 GMT -5
Pigstyblogger, this is cool. I love your terminology. This fits so well with the anger that helps me clean! Thanks for the post!
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Post by marigold on Feb 27, 2009 3:24:32 GMT -5
I remember your war against clutter and grime on the old Squalor Survivors site. THAT was amazing!
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pigstyblogger
New Member
Fighting my own little war on grime, one insurgent at a time.
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 45
|
Post by pigstyblogger on Feb 27, 2009 11:29:13 GMT -5
 Thanks! My sense of sarcasm is overdeveloped, so the terminology perfectly fits my personality. Plus it personifies the clutter/squalor in my life as an enemy, and for a healthy red blooded male, I guess that helps me even more. Marigold, if you remember my first war on grime, then you'll remember the huge mountain of Mountain Dew boxes? This time around... I had a tin pyramid of Campbell's soup cans. Reason: The Kitchen garbage can was beyond overflowing. Today's Battle Plan: Bag the insurgents in my computer room. That should be about one 1/2 bags. Fill up the remainder of the second bag with any remaining insurgents in other rooms. Take said bagged insurgents out the dumpster. Relocate the hostages (books) in the computer room to their appropriate homes (bookshelves). Don't worry about putting them in order, as long as they're off the battlefield (floor). |
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Post by dayeanu on Feb 27, 2009 11:42:34 GMT -5
Right with you, Pickles. I don't usually like war themes, either, but this, I REALLY like!
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pigstyblogger
New Member
Fighting my own little war on grime, one insurgent at a time.
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 45
|
Post by pigstyblogger on Feb 27, 2009 11:45:08 GMT -5
 . this is hysterical. my floor is a battlefield lately. not usually the type to use war metaphors, but i'm thinking you've really got something here. very nice. bagged, tagged adn ready to ship. fab. i need my trash to leave with toe tags, too. i will take out the old chicken that is gross from the other day on my way out the door. hmm..... what could i use as a tag........... . i would love to really tag something. I'm laughing myself to tears thinking of what a garbage man would think of an old chicken thrown away with a body tag tied neatly around the leg. Oh, that is hilarious.  |
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Post by marigold on Feb 27, 2009 14:42:41 GMT -5
I remember that, near the end of the war, you found quite a lot of coins on the battlefield It was fun reading your "war logs", the gusto with which you attacked, it was like a killing video game for guys. I say, whatever works! May the force be with you! |
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Post by marigold on Feb 27, 2009 14:44:11 GMT -5
I'm laughing myself to tears thinking of what a garbage man would think of an old chicken thrown away with a body tag tied neatly around the leg. Oh, that is hilarious. ! |
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Post by valor on Feb 27, 2009 15:17:58 GMT -5
I'm a peacenik, but this has a certain strange appeal for me  I have many hostages to liberate. There actually are joyful reunions that take place when I find something that's been missing for a long time. The enemy infiltration must be stopped. |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Feb 27, 2009 16:19:52 GMT -5
GIVE 'EM HELL!  (Oh, welcome back to the board btw! I just got carried away with the above....) |
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Post by zinnia on Feb 27, 2009 21:14:43 GMT -5
"Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I am attacking." Ferdinand Foch Battle of Marne |
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pigstyblogger
New Member
Fighting my own little war on grime, one insurgent at a time.
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 45
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Post by pigstyblogger on Feb 27, 2009 21:49:17 GMT -5
I don't know, but I've been told! Livin' in squalor gets mighty old! I've got one bag of insurgents done tonight, will have enough to do a second bag between the bathroom and the dirty dishes that I've decided I'm not going to clean (Due to contamination from the pipes overflowing... black pipe muck is not tasty). The Spoils of war: Over $20 of change, on my computer desk alone. The War on Grime can be very profitable. After that, the civilians get returned to their safe territory, the bookshelves. Oh, and I have no military experience... I'm too much of a smart mouth.  |
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Post by notsomessyshell on Feb 27, 2009 22:00:01 GMT -5
I am loving this! Sarcasm my native tongue.
Beware of spies.
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pigstyblogger
New Member
Fighting my own little war on grime, one insurgent at a time.
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 45
|
Post by pigstyblogger on Feb 27, 2009 23:18:34 GMT -5
Insurgents have been fought and eliminated and are now in the dumpster. Taking a short break to goof off before the books go to the shelves.
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pigstyblogger
New Member
Fighting my own little war on grime, one insurgent at a time.
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 45
|
Post by pigstyblogger on Feb 28, 2009 1:02:29 GMT -5
I have liberated the civilians from the battlefield. Books have been piled/stashed to the bookshelves, and even on top of furniture. In the process of liberation, I decided to clean out the closet in the computer room, and combined with the floor itself, I discovered at least one heavy kitchen bag of sleeper cell insurgents, as well as an ancient IBM Portable Personal Computer. Some of you may be thinking, "Oooh, an old laptop!" Um... no. I'm a geek, and worse, I like to take OLD electronics apart, and possibly put them back together. oldcomputers.net/ibm5155.html THAT is the thing I'm talking about. There are scientific calculators available these days that have more power than that thing. Your CELL PHONE is more capable than it is. And I'm throwing the dang thing away. About time, too. Oh, yeah, discovered another hostage today... A copy of a computer game I enjoy playing, that less than a month ago, I repurchased 'cause I had "lost" the CD and key codes. Many CDs were included in the civilians rescued from the battlefield in the computer room, as well as some computer parts that might actually be somewhat useful to me. They've gone to the shelves or the newly emptied closet for storage out of the way. My Computer room is cleaner than it's been since my last War on grime. |
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