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Post by usedtobeneat on Jul 12, 2010 19:55:17 GMT -5
Well, when I look around in my house, I'm overwhelmed. I don't know where to start, because it's not like my usual cleaning, which is scheduled and in a certain order. Being so completely overwhelmned by it causes me to not get up and even try to start anywhere. I saw the show Hoarders and have been watching some episodes online, and seeing how some people have more to do than I do, and how they manage to get it done, even with a company, in a few days time, really makes me feel like I can do it.
I know it won't be nice again for a long time. The renovation will take a long time to finish, and I will have to learn to live with not being able to use certain rooms, etc, until they are finished, but I really think that now I will be able to get in the bedroom tomorrow and get a bunch of stuff out of there and get the boys to pull up the carpet so I can at least start sleeping in there again, and put my clothes away.
I told ya'll that the dogs had been going under and over and around some boxes and just STUFF piled up from other rooms and pooping and peeing on my floor and clothes in there, well, what I didn't tell you was that when I found it, I was so discouraged and so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of it (this went on for THREE WEEKS while we were unable to get into the room - and Huskies have LOTS of poop and pee so it was a HUGE AMOUNT) that I just walked out and hung the blanket back up over the door, which they go under. My door frame and door was shoddily installed and came apart a few months ago, and the new one is still in the diningroom. I let that poop stay in there for days and did nothing about it. I even woke up last night because I smelled it in the room I was sleeping in. I felt that I was so horrible to have allowed that to happen that I wasn't worth squat, and was obviously unable to prevent or clean it, so why bother? Well, I watched one Hoarder episode today where they found two flattened, dead for years, cats under a lady's pile of stuff in her house, and she didn't feel worthless, unable and horrible, so why should I? I went in there and picked up all the poop I could find. I feel a lot better. I got two big plastic grocery store bags of it out, and there are still boxes and bags and stuff on the floor that I'm sure there is some under, but I'll finish that tomorrow. I've planned with my younger son and his friend to start moving out the junk that's going. (the ex-good stuff that got ruined by the dogs, and the boxes of things that a friend of the kids brought over when he did this foreclosure clean out of houses - he brings nice things sometimes but right when the renovation started, he overwhelmed me with boxes and boxes of stuff)
I know that I have read people on here talk about how some people just gawk at the show and want to be shocked or see something awful in somebody elses house, but it really made me feel not so bad about myself to see somebody else not feel bad with something worse than poop. I grew up in squalor and hoarding, and the way we got out was my mother sold the house and contents. We started over, but she's still somewhat hoarding and not cleaning anything.
Anybody have any thoughts on this? Is this a horrible thing for me to do, to watch it and say "well, I'm not as bad as that, and if they can do it, so can I'?
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Post by moggyfan on Jul 12, 2010 20:37:09 GMT -5
No, it is NOT horrible. And you know why? Because it is motivating you to take action so it doesn't ever GET that bad.
Take your motivation where you can. Your thoughts are not harming the people on those shows so don't waste time feeling bad about it.
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Post by messymimi on Jul 12, 2010 20:38:47 GMT -5
No, you are not worthless or horrible or anything else. You are a worthwhile person with innate value, no matter what.
Also, it is not wrong to realize things could be worse, and to use your desire to prevent it from getting that way to spur you on to keep working.
All of us are better than others at some things, worse in some areas than others, with our own strengths and weaknesses. Recognizing these differences and using them to spur you on to do better where you are weak, and to excel where you are strong, is smart.
Yes, if others can do it, you can, too. That is part of what we are here for, to remind each other of this, to inspire each other, so support each other to do better each day that the last.
It is overwhelming to look at the whole mess. You have found the solution. Pick one thing, look only at that, and do it. Celebrate the victory, go in and do another thing. Keep repeating until you have succeeded.
Using the program the same way we use this site, to spur you on in your efforts, to keep you at the tasks at hand, is a good thing, at least to me.
In the face of persistence, the bedroom mess doesn't stand a chance. Go at it, and find inspiration wherever you can, to keep you going.
messymimi
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611 
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Post by MiSC on Jul 12, 2010 21:04:58 GMT -5
The part of group therapy that really worked well with me years ago was exactly that: Feeling better about myself because I knew I wasn't as bad off as the guy sitting next to me. His problems and concerns were FAR worse than what I was dealing with, so not only was I able to stop feeling so sorry for myself, but I was also finding strength that allowed me to do whatever I could to support him. Just go with whatever motivation you can grab, and get the job done. And while you're doing it, there are a couple thousand people here who sure could use your perspective.  |
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Post by def6 on Jul 13, 2010 17:08:10 GMT -5
Many people on here live very isolated lives; some both their adulthood and their childhood is somewhat isolated. I think it is good to veiw these shows as long as the story remains true not dramatized for better ratings. I have felt better myself after watching these shows. Many times it has been the feeling of- well their house was much worse than mine. If they can do it ,I can do it! For whatever reason you feel more motivated-go with it sister!
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Post by lostinchaos on Jul 13, 2010 19:20:11 GMT -5
I thought I was the only person who had done the "hang something over the door" thing. I have a similar situation right now, where one of the rescue dogs I took in that has a lot of behavioral problems, started using the bathroom all over the den. I couldn't bear to look at it, so I hung a curtain over the door frame to block my view of it. I've been so overwhelmed with thinking about how to clean it up, that I've just been taking an out of sight out of mind mentality. Hearing that someone else has had this happen too, and was able to tackle it head on, gives me hope. You have given me some motivation today, so thank you for that!
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