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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 16, 2009 18:15:03 GMT -5
Timeless post from the year 2009:
Member "Eris " posted some wise words to a newcomer.
There is so much wisdom in that post, that I am reposting it here.Your house is NOT a metaphor for your inner psyche. A messy house is not some sort of tragic, overarching story theme for your life! You've got to stop telling yourself so! I can't tell you how much better I've gotten at cleaning since I figured this out! I can take five minutes to clean at any time without having to rewrite my personality or internal biography or whatever the hell else was holding me back. It's just cleaning! A mess is just a thing. It's not you! It's outside of you. It's finite and impersonal and temporary. You deal with it, and it's gone! If it comes back, you deal with it again! Like schoolwork! Like taxes! Like grocery shopping! These things show up because of life, not because there's something personally wrong with you! Cleanies have messes too ~~ they just don't let it "prove" anything!
And I wish to thank whoever inspired/taught her.( FYI ... Eris said it was okay that I copied her original post into this thread).
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Post by drivermom on Mar 16, 2009 20:55:38 GMT -5
Great thing to remmeber Eris and Thanks to the 'Tator of Wisdom"  for posting this again to remind all of us. |
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Mar 17, 2009 7:35:33 GMT -5
Wow... powerful.
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Post by valor on Mar 17, 2009 16:29:51 GMT -5
I will read this everyday, and perhaps more than once a day.
I can literally feel my body start to unclench while reading it. I can
breathe more freely. My thoughts clear. It actually brings me
some physical and mental relief from the stress of all this. It puts
the squalor into perspective. And squalor that's been put into perspective
is a lot easier to clean up. I may copy this down on an index card
for myself so I can carry it with me.
Thank you
Eris for writing this. Thank you Lioness for highlighting this.
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 17, 2009 17:09:53 GMT -5
I'm with Valor. I'm copying and posting this.
I, too, felt something of an inner release just from reading it. Cause I guess I really did think my house was a metaphor for my inner psycho psyche!
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Post by crazycatlady on Mar 17, 2009 21:27:09 GMT -5
Very wise words!
And at Dayneau!
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Post by Meme on Mar 18, 2009 1:45:31 GMT -5
this is true to the bone-
(a daddy expression)
we define our mess but our mess does not define us-
hugs from Meme
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Post by crazycatlady on Mar 18, 2009 21:21:01 GMT -5
Wonderful words of wisdom. Thanks Eris. Should be required reading!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Sept 19, 2009 9:55:37 GMT -5
- I am still thinking about this. This is so opposite from what we've been told. We've been told (by society) that our messy home must reflect a messy interior. But ... that "programming" is flawed. A mess really is just a mess, not a symbol. - We must not allow the mess to define our self-image!
- We must not allow the mess to have that power over us!
- We must claim the power to define our own identity as worthwhile human beings, regardless of the state of our homes.
- When we empower ourselves thus, we then have power over the mess.
Thanks again, Eris! - |
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pammybear
New Member
Joined: August 2009
Posts: 71 
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Post by pammybear on Sept 19, 2009 10:36:26 GMT -5
Wow, this really helps. There's so much to think about while getting rid of things, I don't need the extra psychological weight of "my mess is me". Thanks for giving me permission to let go of that weight.
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pammybear
New Member
Joined: August 2009
Posts: 71
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Post by pammybear on Sept 19, 2009 10:36:56 GMT -5
Oops, it posted twice.
But I will add, thank you to Eris and thank you to the current poster. I've been reading back into previous posts and I find so much wisdom and encouragement and this is exactly what I mean.
This place is so wonderful. Thank you all.
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mardec
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 12
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Post by mardec on Sept 19, 2009 11:08:50 GMT -5
Thank you, Eris, for saying this and thank you, Courageous Lion, for re-posting it so I could stumble across this.
I needed to read this this morning. I literally felt a little weight come off my shoulders as I read these words.
Very wise, indeed.
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Post by yearning4order on Sept 19, 2009 12:30:08 GMT -5
Your house is NOT a metaphor for your inner psyche.
A messy house is not some sort of tragic, overarching story theme for your life! You've got to stop telling yourself so!
I can't tell you how much better I've gotten at cleaning since I figured this out! I can take five minutes to clean at any time without having to rewrite my personality or internal biography or whatever the hell else was holding me back. It's just cleaning!
A mess is just a thing. It's not you! It's outside of you. It's finite and impersonal and temporary. You deal with it, and it's gone! If it comes back, you deal with it again! Like schoolwork! Like taxes! Like grocery shopping! These things show up because of life, not because there's something personally wrong with you! Cleanies have messes too ~~ they just don't let it "prove" anything!
Thank you. I can't tell you how defeated I felt by the whole "your mess is who you are inside" crap. And yes I said it. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.
Talk about the thing that could insta-defeat me before I got started!
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Sept 19, 2009 15:27:08 GMT -5
Eris, thank you SO much for posting this. And thank you, CL, for posting it again.
I run into this attitude all the time with the public housing people. They really believe this is WHY you're in public housing in the first place -- because you have NO self-esteem. And if your home is messy, it's a reflection of what's going on INSIDE you. But as I've discussed before, Housing's bottom line is money, so they'll say whatever it takes to save them a few bucks.
Even some of my co-volunteers in the outreach ministry have this attitude. The other day one of them told of how he and his wife visited a public housing resident, a single mom with two kids. He said they walked in and "the apartment was totally immaculate!" -- like this wasn't the norm. Not all my co-volunteers feel this way, like the ones who helped me move and clean my home when I was ill. And of course, I can't say anything because right now my home is messy and I don't want to be judged because of it.
I really needed to read this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 
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Post by wendy on Sept 19, 2009 18:28:18 GMT -5
A very potent and important reminder!
Thanks for reposting it, Lioness.
Wendy
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