|
|
Post by lookin4answers on Sept 30, 2009 0:42:55 GMT -5
I think I've got an idea of what got me in this place. I'd just like to understand if it is universal. So bear with me, if I post some questions.
I'd like to see if there is an part of the country that more folks have problems with hoarding? An age in which the problem surfaces and if being single or married, plays a role.
Folks I've got to understand if I'm the exception or the rule with this problem.
Thanks everybody !!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Meme on Sept 30, 2009 0:47:23 GMT -5
It happened after our nest emptied and we thought that we would do these things someday so we kept everything and also had more room to keep stuff
around age 45 and 50 for papa
there are so many reasons so there are really no rules- there are many causes so I think you are not an exception -- re hoarding etc,
|
|
|
|
Post by sleepymom on Sept 30, 2009 9:52:38 GMT -5
We have members from all across the US, Canada, Europe, Australia, and various other countries. There are members aging from teenagers on up through, I dunno, 70s? Some of us have always had messy/hoarding traits, while others have found themselves having a problem later in their lives. Many of us are married, probably just as many singles. Same for having kids or not. There are no exceptions, we are all unique, but have some common problems.
The only group I can think of being less represented is there are a lot more women than men that post regularly. That doesn`t mean that many men don`t have problems! We do have several male members.
Whatever your circumstances, you are likely to have something in common with someone here.
|
|
|
|
Post by Celeste on Sept 30, 2009 10:15:42 GMT -5
I moved this thread because it was a question asked to the general population here rather than an member's introduction, which is where it was originally located.
Sleepymom is right. We have a broad spectrum of people here, from different parts of the world, different ages, different economical classes, and different religions.
We tend to have more women than men, although that may be because our societies tend to view women as the housekeeper and more pressure is placed on them. Most of our members seem to be a bit older, possibly because that's when people have noticed that numerous attempts to clean on their own have failed. Neither tendency is set in stone!
Hope this helps you get a better view of us.
|
|
|
|
Post by lostagain on Sept 30, 2009 11:09:31 GMT -5
SUPPOSEDLY hoarding gets worse as people age - I think that's just a reflection of having more room and the ability to obtain more stuff as well as the slow accumulation of things over a lifetime.
That's just me talking...nothing to back that up, scientifically speaking.
|
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Sept 30, 2009 11:37:52 GMT -5
-
You asked at what age did this begin.
I know that there exists a stereotype of the "elderly hoarder", but ... this is due to the fact that with dementia or with physical frailty, it's difficult to keep a home in order.
However, for most of our membership, I don't think it is an age-related problem. As Sleepymom said above, we come in all ages.
The following are some scenarios during which hoarding/squalor can begin ... but NONE of them are age-related.
Some scenarios of sudden-onset squalor/hoarding:
Some of us were originally quite neat/organized/clean/sparse ... but some sort of deep emotional trauma triggered the transition into squalor/hoarding.
Some of us were originally quite neat/organized/clean/sparse ... but then something like a financial setback or a family illness or a divorce caused a big lifestyle change. We became forced to live with more people in less space. Or we had to work gazillions of hours of overtime AND visit a loved one in the hospital AND care for our children. Life had suddenly become very chaotic, and there was little time or energy for organizing. At some point, everything was just too overwhelming. It seemed useless to even try to deal with housekeeping.
Some of us were originally quite neat/organized/clean/sparse ... but then we developed a physical illness that made it difficult for us to carry items to the trashcan or to do daily clean-up. We weren't taught ways to cope/adapt.
There is another category:
Those of us who have always been messy.
For some of us .... We never learned the skills of housekeeping or the skills of sorting useless from usefull items. Nobody showed us how to clean or put things away. Our parents didn't teach us. When we grew up and moved out on our own, we sometimes lived with other young adults. The "messy college student" is often tolerated. But as we got into our 30's, people began to notice and complain. Spouses and friends were no longer tolerant. And so we sought help in adulthood. An outside observer might think that it was an adult-onset psychological issue. But for this particular scenario, actually the problem was always there, and it was mostly caused by a lack of skills. Coming to this forum has taught us much and improved our skills.
A different group of us have had these squalor/hoarder tendencies all our lives. It was always there. We were always messy/disorganized or attached to our belongings. People tried to teach us skills, but we were disinclined to use the skills we'd be taught. For this group of us, we always had emotional issues about our homes. It became more of a problem as we grew up and our behavior impacted others.
-
|
|
|
|
Post by moggyfan on Sept 30, 2009 19:58:20 GMT -5
I've always (from childhood) been messy & disorganized--I hate housework. I do it now, but that doesn't mean I like it,  . Unscientifically, it seems that there are a lot of people between 35 - 65 here, and even less scientifically, it seems that there is a very sizable preponderance of white people. A huge majority of women, but that may be for the reasons mentioned in other posts, or perhaps because men are less likely to seek out a support group? I've been in this group since 2006, and I can only remember a tiny handful of men who posted (maybe 8 or 10?) |
|
|
|
Post by still on Oct 1, 2009 13:33:53 GMT -5
This is just my suspicion, but you actually sound like our Ph.D.-to-be doing research. I wish you best of luck with that, but I am not terribly comfortable with this "antropologist being one of the natives approach." If I am wrong in this, I sincerely apologize, but I am pretty sure I am right.
|
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 1, 2009 14:44:19 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Meme on Oct 1, 2009 20:24:54 GMT -5
It is often not so much about where you are now or how you got here but where are you going-? most of us here are moving - forward- some slow steps and some big steps but we are moving- kind of like==LOOK AT ME NOW!I HAVE COME A LONG WAY.!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Oct 2, 2009 23:25:34 GMT -5
Everyone has their own story. When I was depressed and not on medication, I did not have energy or motivation to clean or declutter. When my grandparents and later my parents got older and more physical problems, they could not physically keep up the house like they wanted to. I knew someone who had severe post-traumatic stress (before they called it that) after she was the victim of a violent crime, and could not do any maintenance on her home, where the incident occurred - and it was a year before she sought out help. Everyone is different.
|
|
