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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 27, 2010 21:23:35 GMT -5
My old neighbor called to see how I am doing in the new place. She is a busy body and means well, but she said some things that really hurt me and brought back the shame I felt at letting my old house fall into the shape it was in before I found this board. BTW, she is a hoarder herself.
She said my old landlord is making me sound like the nastiest person imaginable. I told her I had been trying to get him to tell me if I am going to get any of my deposit back and she said I'd be lucky if he didn't sue me. I asked her if he said that and she said, no...but he acts like he might.
I lived in the house for 6 years. I have two boys/teenagers. I know that at least one area of carpet needed to be replaced because my dog had peed on it (I put down a $100 pet deposit when I moved in, in addition to the $600 basic deposit). There were some normal (non-pet related) stains elsewhere. There were several things wrong that I had told him about and he had never done anything to fix them. The roof was leaking, some of the windows were loose in their frames, the storm windows leaked causing the wood around them to rot and the storage shed in back had a leaky roof that has almost ruined that entire building. The gutters were bad. None of this was my responsibility to repair as far as I am concerned. During my time there a dropped ceiling collapsed (he blamed my sons), the storm door broke (he blamed us but it had been hung unevenly when we moved in) and a window was blown out by wind (he blamed my son). The back toilet leaked and he knew about that. The shower stall floor had a crack in it and he knew about that. The shower faucet dripped and he knew about that.
I have advice for anyone with a landlord. If you tell him about something, keep a record of it and when/if it got fixed.
I'm not worried about him sueing me, but the shame has come flooding back and just as I was feeling so happy about things.
I have kept my new place squalor free and plan to keep it that way. Sure I still have boxes stacked around and need to deal with them. But the areas I have gotten in order are being defended DAILY. If anything, what my neighbor told me has only enforced my commitment to keep this place squalor-free and myself free from shame.
If my neighbor calls again, I am going to tell her I don't want to discuss the old house or the landlord any more, thank-you-very-much.
Thanks for listening.
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Post by Arid on Sept 27, 2010 21:44:17 GMT -5
Oh, Annie!! I'm so sorry this has happened to you!
Here in "my neck of the woods," there is a name for people like your neighbor, but since my mother tried so, SO hard to make a lady out of me, I won't tell you what that name is. . .! I'll leave it to your imagination.
I remember very well the posts that you wrote about the difficulties that you were having with getting the landlord to repair anything.
This reminds me of my college days: upon getting a new dorm room, I made the maintenance people document even the teeniest, tiniest little scratch in the place! I knew that if I didn't, *I* would be charged for the damage to the room when it came time for me to move out at the end of the school year. (At the end of the each school year, they would go over the room with a fine-toothed comb, so to speak, looking for any and all damages. If they found anything that hadn't been documented beforehand, I was liable for it.) It was tedious and aggravating to do, but it absolutely was worth the effort.
Probably, most people don't think about documenting such things when renting, but as you have illustrated, everyone really should. These days, with camera phones, and the like, it would be very easy to take pictures BEFORE signing the lease agreement. Then, the landlord should be required to acknowledge any damage that existed in the place before the renter moves into it. A written list of known damages--even better if pictures can be included--should be signed, and dated, by BOTH the renter and the landlord. It should be treated just like any other binding, legal document.
It's a shame that one would have to go so far to protect oneself from future problems, but there you go. . .
Please, let the shame go; you don't deserve it.
Arid
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Post by luckyleprechaun on Sept 27, 2010 21:46:36 GMT -5
awe annie I am sorry
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Post by catcat on Sept 27, 2010 23:02:54 GMT -5
Annie, I would be upset too, but this is a peculiar situation. There were so many structural things wrong with the old place & the LL knew about them. It wasn't squalor that caused them. Also, "normal wear & tear" is supposed to be considered when considering about security deposits, etc. At least, that's what we were told by our rental agent years ago & we were OK.
This is a mean spirited woman who means to upset you. Please try to forget about it & consider the source. Enjoy your nice new place.
catcat
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815 
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Post by hopehope on Sept 28, 2010 0:26:32 GMT -5
Oh, annie! We love you and we don't like them!  |
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Post by puppybox on Sept 28, 2010 1:09:18 GMT -5
i remember your issue with the dropped ceiling that had nothing to do with you and the bad door that he refused to replace even though it was leting the cold in becuase it was your fault it was old and broken?
I remember the poophead your EX landlord was. DO NOT BE BULLIED.
do not CARE what he says, he is a doodyface.
your plan of what to say with neighbour is good too. you can literally say that, "I don't care to discuss that anymore, Ive moved on".
pack your shame in a box and leave it behind at the old place, ok?
visualise it!
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Post by BetsyMarie on Sept 28, 2010 3:16:02 GMT -5
Yep. When I was in college and living in apts in a 'student' community, you absolutely had to document every little thing or when you moved out, the landlords would deduct it from the deposite, legitimate or not. They figured when a student moved out, they would simply not want to deal with trying to get back their money. From this I learned to write every little thing down before moving in, and get it attached to the lease.
Although I never needed to, I'd be tempted if a significant reported repair wasnt being fixed, to send something to the landlord perhaps with a photo via registered mail (or whatever the mail type is that sends you a verification that he got it.) That wont stop real LL thieves, but it might help.
It's very sad this is happening to you. It is very upsetting, but your former residence is really in the past and you are doing very well in your new home. That woman is just getting off on making you feel uncomfortable. We all know the type - being so 'helpful' while joyfully driving in the knife just to entertain herself.
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Post by Sapphire on Sept 28, 2010 4:50:07 GMT -5
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petuli
New Member
Joined: September 2010
Posts: 80
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Post by petuli on Sept 28, 2010 6:49:12 GMT -5
Sounds like your ex neighbour has jealousy issues. Let it roll off you hun, it's not worth letting her or anyone upset you. |
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Post by urocyon on Sept 28, 2010 7:01:33 GMT -5
I'm sorry this has come up.  It does sound an awful lot like your former neighbor is enjoying the drama. Like angelpuss, I have a relative she reminded me of too, who enjoys stirring things up--oops, being "nice" and "helpful".  Even if her intentions are somehow decent--which doesn't sound likely, mind you  --it's probably better not to engage. If she calls again and tries to bring up that (or anything else that makes you feel lousy), just keep changing the subject, preferably in a way that doesn't give her the impression she's getting to you. That's why I wouldn't go straight for saying outright that you don't want to talk about it, because I suspect that would give her some satisfaction. Deary me, your ex-landlord sounds like a piece of work! Gotta love his scapegoating your kids, because it sounds vaguely plausible, in particular. (Excellent suggestions about documentation! I've never rented other than a dorm room, but if we do in future...) Please don't let somebody who acts like that continue to guilt you in your own mind. Your squalor problem, no matter how bad it was, was less harmful than his jerkiness problem! Talk about casting stones... It's disturbingly easy for the guilt and shame to come back to visit. But, you realized you have a problem, and are trying to change your life for the better--and doing a darned good job of it! There's no reason for shame in that, but plenty of reason to be proud of what you've accomplished. |
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Post by eagle on Sept 28, 2010 8:07:05 GMT -5
Annie, do you have any recourse to get part of your deposit back? You worked so hard to clean up before you left. It certainly seems as though the only thing the landlord can charge you for is the carpeting, and he may not even be able to charge full price for that, because it really depends on how old it was to start with. Of course I am not sure of Oklahoma landlord tenant laws, but where I come from, 6 years in a rental negates many such charges to the security deposit.
For example: Cleaning a carpet is only applicable to a security deposit if a tenant is there less than a year. Re-painting walls does not apply to the security deposit for long-term tenants. Needed repairs to the property that were reported to the landlord on an ongoing basis are not applicable to the security deposit unless caused by the tenant, and the landlord is really responsible to proove their claim.
I know going to small claims court to get your deposit might be a pain in the neck, but you have rights and that's why we have that recourse. I know you could really use the money.
As for what your former neighbor told you, well at least it gives you a clue of what the LL is planning. He apparently is planning to keep the deposit. BTW, where I come from, the deposit plus interest is returned to the tenant within a specific timeframe, also mandated by law. So look into the Oklahoma landlord tenant laws and see if you have some form of recourse to get the deposit or a portion of it back.
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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 28, 2010 8:21:49 GMT -5
Wow. Signing in and reading this this morning has been such a boost and gave me a good start to the day. You all are wonderful friends and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your support on this. I can literally feel the love and hugs you all are sending. Thank you.  I'm not sure what I will do on getting the deposit back if anything. It would probably cost more than what I might get back to go to court. Also, bringing it out into the open might just be more painful for me. Fiance says to just cut my losses and that may be what I have to do. I will probably call the landlord once more and just ask if I am getting anything back at all. Before renting that property, I had never leased/rented an actual house. I had had a few apartments when I was young and single, but didn't stay long enough to ever worry about "wear and tear" or damages. I hope I never have to rent again, but if I do....you can be certain I will be more diligent in documenting things. As in all of my recent "adventures" (  ), I hope maybe posting about it will help someone else. |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Sept 28, 2010 8:25:22 GMT -5
P.S. Puppybox- Poophead and doodyface! Perfect description of that man! Loved it and it gave me a smile.  I'm boxing up the shame right this minute! |
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Sept 28, 2010 8:27:07 GMT -5
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Post by BetsyMarie on Sept 28, 2010 8:33:04 GMT -5
If you do decide to persue it, see if your area has a 'small claims' court. That would only cost you your time. No lawyers, just a judge to decide the facts.
But... even if a messy person cleans up a place perfectly, most people are put off by hoarding behavior, and if the landlord presents his case in a certain way (especially if he has any photographs), he might be able to sway the decision in his favor. Just the sad facts.
I certainly would call him again at least once, if not more, and ask about getting your deposit back.
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