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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 23, 2010 21:52:35 GMT -5
Can I get a definition of "demand resistance" please? I would say it's that part of a human being that is still a six-year-old in pigtails, stomping her little foot and saying, "No. I don't want to and you can't make me!" The demand can be either internal or external. Either way, there she is. In the psyche world it's simply called "avoidance." It can come from a million places, including the petulant little brat moggy described. NO, MiSC, you are incorrect. "Demand Resistance" is NOT synonymous with "avoidance". MiSC dear, I know you've believed that, but it's not accurate. Demand Resistance might be a cause of why someone avoids doing a task. But it's not the avoidance itself. There are MANY reasons why people avoid doing tasks. Demand Resistance is only one of those possible reasons. What is Demand Resistance? The psychiatrist who coined the term is Allan E. Mallinger, MD from San Diego. From his book, "Too Perfect: When being in control gets out of control" The book is written for and about people who suffer from a need to feel in control, to the extreme point where your control-freakness gets your entire life out of balance. However, even if you're not a control freak ... a lot of the things he writes about apply to MANY ordinary people, especially his chapter on perfectionism and his chapter on "Demand Resistance and Demand Sensitivity". I will quote HIS definition of the term he coined. I've got his book here in front of me. [We are allowed to quote one or two short sentences from a book -- without violating copyright -- as long as we give full credit. But we must not quote an entire passage. Nor can we continually quote various snippets from a single book, as that would add up to being a long passage] This is exactly what Moggyfan described.For more info, see the full discussion on demand resistance, which has its own thread here:takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/16221Link corrected April 2012
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 23, 2010 22:22:28 GMT -5
- MiSC, what you described in your post was Avoidance of tasks due to fear, overwhelmedness, a feeling of incompetence, and a lack of ability to prioritize/decide. Those are all varied reasons for Avoidance. But they're not Demand Resistance. Demand Resistance is more like "defiance". Demand Sensitivity is a knee-jerk reaction to situations or people ... ASSUMING/FEELING that these situations or people are demanding something of you -- regardless of whether they are actually making a demand or not. The issue is that you FEEL demanded upon. Demand Resistance is resistance/defiance against REAL OR IMAGINED demands. - It can be resistance to a real assignment or a real deadline.
- It can also be resistance/defiance against demands that you merely imagine are being made of you.
Interestingly, Demand Resistance can be resistance to one's own plans. (ANY plans ... even if they're FUN plans). For some people, as soon as they promise themselves they'll do something, another part of themselves resents feeling obligated and then feels defiant. To sum up: In my own words: Demand Resistance is
A knee-jerk resistance to a task .... because you have an automated gut feeling that you're being put under pressure to do it. (regardless of whether this is logical or not). (and regardless if whether anyone is actually demanding anything of you or not). (AND it can even be a resistance to plans you've chosen yourself)
It stems from resentment at being told what to do.
It is a warped/ineffective attempt at asserting control.----------------------
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Nov 12, 2010 7:58:45 GMT -5
- Mount Vernon MethodA phrase coined by Sandra Felton, author of the "Messies Manual", which refers to how the current maid/janitorial staff maintain the museum that is "Mount Vernon" (the home that belonged to George Washington). It's copyright, so I'll just give the link to Sandra's own description: web.archive.org/web/20161028055744/http://www.messies.com/index.php/mt-vernon-methodHere is a paraphrased description: getorganizedwithbridges.wordpress.com/2010/08/25/five-boxes-a-bag-a-list-and-the-mt-vernon-method-of-organizing/ Mount Vesuvius MethodA specific method of emergency cleaning described here: web.archive.org/web/20161028071811/www.messies.com/index.php/mt-vesuvius-method E.T.E. Eliminate the Evidenceor Erase the EvidenceClean up as you use things, so that there is no "evidence" or "clue" of what you just did ... nothing left behind for a "detective" to easily find. For example: - After a meal:
put leftovers away, wash dishes, wipe surfaces.
- After a reading a chapter of a book, but before starting another activity:
put the book back on your nightstand, bookshelf, or designated reading table ... instead of leaving it flung wherever.
- After returning home from shopping,
put all the items away, and deal with the shopping bag. And if your cabinets/closets/refrigerator is now overfull as a result of your shopping, get rid of something unwanted.
C.H.A.O.S.Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome When your home is so messy that you are too embarassed to allow guests inside your home Not sure of the origins of this one. It's used widely and doesn't seem to be copyrighted.
This acronym may have been coined by Marla Cilley (aka "FlyLady") at flylady.net but I'm not sure. It might be older than that.
Edited April 2012 to fix links.
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Nov 12, 2010 12:16:54 GMT -5
Stash And Dash -- When you run around the house in a mad dash, grabbing stuff and stashing it in closets, dresser drawers, under the bed, anywhere out of sight.
Crisis-Cleaning -- When you have a deadline coming up and you work non-stop (or try to) getting your home decluttered.
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Post by moonglow on Apr 15, 2012 22:41:23 GMT -5
bump
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Post by amberwind on Apr 16, 2012 18:33:27 GMT -5
Zombie Soup - the more disgusting cousin of sink pudding. Zombie soup is found in bowls or pans, still largely liquid in nature, and can be found in any room of the house, although its native habitat is the kitchen. Often emits a horrific stench when discovered. DH/DW/DB/DD/DS - this one depends slightly on context. The D stands for 'dear' and the other letters stand for a relationship; husband, wife, brother, daughter. S can stand for sister or for son. Used by many forum members to avoid naming the people they live with for privacy reasons. Do y'all know how much I was confused when I first joined the forum and I kept seeing DD and DS and DH everywhere? Took me months to figure it out. There's a reason I refer to the man as El Husby. Also, I recently realized that my demand sensitivity/resistance comes from a very, very angry place. But that is a post for my blog thread, ta.
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Post by MissABCD on Apr 16, 2012 21:33:54 GMT -5
Lion, I KNOW I am very demand resistant. Tonight I spent all evening getting mail ready to go out. And, it really was mail that needs to go out tomorrow. The problem is: I have not attacked the MOST IMPORTANT piece of mail that is probably time sensitive. Back to it--but it may not be until tomorrow. MissABCD
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 27, 2013 21:13:07 GMT -5
"Purse Barf"
The bunch of miscellaneous papers and junk that is spilling out of your purse.
~~~ Or ~~~
Whenever you have too much stuff in your purse and have to clean it out to make room: The "purse barf" is the batch of items you pulled out of your purse and put into a bag or pile "to sort later".
It's somewhat like "cat barf" -- the pile of vomit your cat leaves around. This is stuff that is ejected from your purse.
For those who don't carry purses, this could apply to your wallet -- as in: "wallet barf".
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 27, 2013 21:18:11 GMT -5
"Scrollback Amnesty":
This is when lots of people are talking in the chatroom, you can declare that you are claiming "scrollback amnesty" -- Amnesty from any obligation to scroll back to try to read and understand everyone's prior words.
This can also apply to the "Working in Threes" thread in Listzilla. You can claim "scrollback amnesty" when you just don't have time to read what everyone in the thread has accomplished.
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Post by saffron on Oct 28, 2013 0:35:17 GMT -5
I use all of the above, and this one, too: S2S which means "shower to shoes," a FlyLady term.
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Post by Di on Oct 28, 2013 7:06:44 GMT -5
One Dish Day. One of those days where you need support for EACH tiny accomplishment. Washing ONE PLATE is a victory. Washing the dishes is just too overwhelming. It doesn't have to be dishes, it can be one piece of trash etc. Chat really helps on these days. People understand and will cheer each tiny accomplishment.
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Post by misssue on Oct 28, 2013 21:37:55 GMT -5
Bagging.. which may go with stash and dash.. when you put thing in bags, either temporarily for what you think may be a quick dash clean up, and they end up as permanent storage. Or become "lost" in the mess!
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Post by def6 on Oct 28, 2013 22:26:39 GMT -5
When there is laundry everywhere we say: "The laundry hamper Blew Up!" This can be said about anything that there is a lot of.
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Post by Rory on Oct 29, 2013 5:10:30 GMT -5
Oh so D means dear does it. I wondered if it might mean something else.
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Post by Arid on Oct 29, 2013 12:30:53 GMT -5
It all depends on the situation, Rory! !!! Arid
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