This time it has to go!

[bee17]

Thanks for the encouragement Mimi. I've done well today and got rid of 12 books (see my posts on '2011 items out' and '1st time speaking out').

My main problem is that I haven't read most of the books. I buy them with good intentions, but rarely find/make the time. My Dad has a large collection of books and most of them didn't get read till he retired. I'm not sure he's read all of them now. Most of them are filling an entire cupboard in my old room in my parents' house. If his books weren't there, I might have room for mine!

Have been thinking a lot about my Dad, having just spent ten days with my parents. Have come to the conclusion that my problems are genetic, as I take after him in so many ways. He is obsessed with the news and has to watch it several times a day on TV as well as buying a daily newspaper and reading it from cover to cover. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm sure he has a problem. He is sentimental about things and hates throwing them away. Also, he hates wasting paper and always writes on little scraps and the backs of envelopes rather than proper notebooks. When I was younger I remember my Mum nagging him about his hoarding - especially of papers. She still disposes of magazines and newspapers without telling him.

Paper is the biggest problem for me. Tomorrow will be a shredding day, I think, as I'm planning to stay indoors most of the day. (I walked too much on my ankle today and it's swollen and sore again, so may have to visit the doctor.)

[messymimi]

Dear Bee,

One thing that has finally convinced me and my Sweetie, also a book lover, to get rid of a lot of them is that we figured, if the economy collapses, or a world dictator comes into power, and you can't get the info in these old books any more, so what? You will be too busy wondering where you next meal will come from to care.

The never-ending-paper-pile is my big problem, also. I tend to be like your father, using old scraps of paper for lists and such. Now that we can easily recycle almost everything, it's not such a big deal, but i still hate to see paper "wasted". Trying to come to terms with it.

Oh, and saving things to read in retirement -- Johnny Cash did that. Unfortunately, when he finally did have the time, he also had very little eyesight because of diabetic retinopathy. He told his daughter his library was a "room full of regrets" because he had waited too long. Set aside a bit of time each day to read something you love, and only read what you can learn from or love. Don't waste time saving it for a later that might not come.

messymimi

[bee17]

Stayed home all day today. This was good for several reasons:

1. I rested my sprained ankle.
2. I didn't spend any money (have to be careful now I'm unemployed). This has had two knock-on effects - see 3 and 4.
3. I ate food that I have in the house (instead of leaving it to rot).
4. I didn't acquire any new things to add to the clutter.
5. I made some phone calls I've been putting off.
6. I finally watched a DVD someone gave me months ago. Was undecided about tossing this as I didn't think it was my sort of thing. As it turned out, I enjoyed it so much that I'm keeping it (I mean, who wouldn't enjoy a film starring Sophia Loren and Gregory Peck!).
7. I shredded a lot of papers.

Just been looking at the 'Too many books' thread. Well done to 'toomanyideas' for taking all those loads to the 2nd-hand store. 12 of my books went yesterday. Will try to find a few more to offload tomorrow. Might post some pictures of my problem areas, to help me focus.

[messymimi]

Good for you, Bee!

I hope the ankle is doing better.

messymimi

[bee17]

Thanks for your kind words, MM. The ankle is much better, thanks, so hope to get back to normal soon. I'm used to walking everywhere as I can't drive.

Have focused on tidying everything today as a professional cleaning woman is coming tomorrow to give an estimate for cleaning my house after I've moved. I've managed to keep the place reasonably clean, so it shouldn't be too bad. Might pass the hoover over the floors and dust one or two areas. I don't expect she'll worry about the boxes and bags, etc, since she knows I'm moving. The trouble is, the boxes and bags are already full and I've not even started to pack what's in my wardrobes and cupboards!

Just remembered that I still have a rough patch on the carpet where I spilt some glue a while ago. I was so annoyed, as all the time I've been in this flat I've tried really hard not to spill things and then this happens just when I'm due to move out. It was a special, quick-drying type of glue for decoupage. The lid was one you had to push down rather than screw on, and obviously I'd not pushed hard enough (bit of a silly design for a glue bottle). I scraped up as much as I could and there's no stain, but the pile shows it slightly. Not sure whether to confess this to the cleaning lady or not!

[bee17]

Mimi, just noticed your earlier post about paper. I somehow missed this before. Thanks for the advice. Am trying hard with the books and some have gone.

I drafted the following paragraph to include above but then changed my mind. However, in the light of your comments it seems appropriate to post it here now:

Paper is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I've probably got ten times as much paper as anything else. Have lots of scraps of paper with addresses and phone numbers which I need to copy into an address book or onto my computer before ditching. Then there's all the sentimental stuff - photos, tickets and programmes which remind me of certain events, old letters, cards and even gift tags from friends I had in the past and no longer keep up with. I never got into the habit of keeping a diary, so I started to hang onto all this stuff instead and it got out of hand. In going through it all I've been reminded of people and things that were long forgotten and I can't decide whether to keep these things as reminders or let them go. Forgetting things about my past makes me feel like I'm losing control of my life. Does anyone else have this problem? My Dad has written a diary every day for as long as I can remember, so I sometimes think to myself that at least I'll have a record of important events after he's passed on. On the other hand, my Mum (if she's still around) might want to throw them all away.

[msdare]

YES bee!!! I can't part with anything that has sentimental value for me! I feel as though somehow if I let go of the physical item all memory of it will vanish! I can't figure out why my memory is tied to a tangible thing. I wonder if it's merely another form of anxiety. When you said it makes you feel like you're losing control I relate. When I was little I was very protective of my things. I didn't like people even touching them! I wonder if someone ever took something from me that traumatized me. I can tell you that I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse and I think that permeates every aspect of life - the absolute need for control of everything.
This is probably the toughest part of decluttering that I face. I think I could coach myself into letting go of the "I might need it one day" thinking and working through my fears of contamination and identity theft, but the sentimental stuff is the hardest!!!
Thanks for speaking up about it and my heart is with you!
Hope your ankle is feeling better!!
Dare

[bee17]

The cleaning woman came today. I spent an hour this morning tidying as much as I could and brushing the floors. She commented on the limescale round the kitchen sink, but other than that it wasn't too bad. The worst moment was when she opened the fridge, as it's chock-full and needs a good cleanout. So glad I got rid of the smelly stuff a few weeks ago! She also asked to look at the garden, even though it's not part of her job. Unfortunately that needs some tidying as well, and I'd just hidden the recycling and rubbish sacks outside the back door thinking she wouldn't need to go there!

I decided to be honest about the glue on the carpet and she said that she only hoovered the carpets and I'm supposed to get some other professionals in to clean them. She also told me I have to get someone to do the cooker. This is the normal routine for all the properties rented out by this agency. While it will save me the job, it all means extra expense which I had not been expecting.

[messymimi]

Dear Bee,

Lots of us have trouble with such sentimental items. We fear that if we let go the thing, we will forget.

If you have a scanner, one solution is to start scanning. That stuff takes very little room on a disk.

Sorry about the extra expense.

messymimi

[bee17]

Feel I'm beginning to make some progress, as there are a few empty bags and boxes lying around the place now. However, they still take up almost as much room as full ones. Sometimes I find that the contents of two boxes/drawers/bags could easily have been fitted into one with a little more effort, which would have made the house look less cluttered.

The hardest thing about this decluttering process is that it makes a mess and I have to keep tidying up afterwards for folks coming round at fairly short notice. A prospective new tenant is coming tomorrow morning. I have 24 hours, so should be ok.

Am trying a new method of motivating myself, using rewards. 15 minutes' tidying means I can sit down with a cup of coffee for 15 minutes. 30 minutes means I can sit at the computer for half an hour. After an hour's tidying I can watch an hour-long TV show, a whole day non-stop means a day out enjoying myself. If I manage a whole week, I'll need a week's holiday to recover!!

Think I've gone over my computer time now, so have to go. Recycling people come at lunchtime and I have a few things to get ready for them.

[messymimi]

Great for you, Bee!

Rewards keep us going, sometimes when nothing else will.

You are giving me hope.

messymimi

[bee17]

Thanks MM, glad I'm giving someone hope!

Have just survived the visit of the letting agent and prospective tenants, and last night I even had a friend round to the house for the first time in months! After a lot of work I managed to get the house so it looks more like Level 1 on the surface, with the bags, boxes, etc, piled up in corners where they're not so obvious. Under the surface, however, I'm still battling with mountains of stuff that needs to be gone through - in the boxes, in the drawers/cupboards, in the fridge/freezer, under the bed, etc. In addition to what's in the flat, I have a garage that needs sorting, plus several bags in storage. All of this has meant extra expense. I rented the storage space a few weeks ago so I'd have somewhere clean and dry to store stuff while packing for my move. The garage is damp and dirty, with spiders and other bugs crawling in and out. Also, it's some distance from my house and I've got to transfer everything from there either to the tip or to the storage space, which takes more effort when it's snowing/raining and you don't have a car (!). Still, I feel there is now some light at the end of the tunnel. I did some work on the garage in September/October before the dark nights came in, so it's not as full as it was a year ago.

Yesterday I spent some time tidying the garden. I'm clueless when it comes to gardening so have done very little since I moved in apart from pulling up a few weeds and cutting back the shrubs. The shrubs have long thorns so have to be handled carefully. Also, a couple of years ago I slipped on the wooden decking and broke my wrist, so I've been afraid of going out there on damp days ever since. Anyway, it needed some work before today's inspection so I forced myself to sweep up the leaves and cut back the briars and creepers that come over the back wall and over the fence from next door. Feels good to have faced up to that as well as a nasty fridge during the past week. Motivation does indeed follow action - I'm find that things get easier once you get past the first hurdle.

[messymimi]

Outdoor work! Good for you, Bee!

It's my fear of getting into storage and not being able to get back out that has kept me from going there.

The packed away stuff is the worst, in some ways. It nags at the back of the mind, and just doesn't give any rest. You are going after it, and it will get gone!

messymimi

[bee17]

Thanks for the encouragement Mimi,

Am having a bit of a break today as I'm tired after all my hard work yesterday. Have managed to take another five books to the charity shop though. It finally dawned that I'm never going to find time to take up Bonsai or needlepoint or origami. Yesterday I parted with a Chinese/English dictionary - doubt I'll ever learn Chinese either!

[messymimi]

Dear Bee,

Everyone needs a day off every week. When you have worked as hard as you have, don't feel like you have to give an explanation as to why you are taking time for yourself.

Good for you for letting go of what you might like, but don't love enough to want to pursue.

messymimi