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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jan 5, 2012 11:53:47 GMT -5
My paid helper:I hired someone and she has been invaluable. She happens to be a professional housecleaner and a professional organizer, although I met her through another context. Confidentiality:I met her through a 12step group that we both belong to ... and therefore she already understood the need for confidentiality. If she wasn't already committed to confidentiality, I would have done this: I would have had her sign a privacy agreement.
Kind of like a lawyer-client confidentiality agreement.
or doctor-patient confidentiality agreement.
It wouldn't have to be fancy. Just something clarifying that she doesn't discuss with anyone what she's seen at my home. Payment:I've hired her for regular work lasting over a year. She is getting good longterm income from me ... so therefore I can justify paying her a lower hourly rate than I would pay someone who came only a few times. The reasons it works for me to hire this person:- I do all of the decision-making, and she does the heavy labor.
- She respects my need for confidentiality.
- I pay her to *listen* to me while I'm talking aloud my sorting process, which really helps me to focus and finally make decisions.
- She gives me advice when I ask for it, but doesn't impose.
- She is helping me to figure out where to put things.
- She's also helping me to train myself to organize appointments, calendars, billpaying, and lists.
- She's helping me to focus on steps for my life goals.
- We have clear boundaries as to when her working hours are, and how often I pay her.
- Sometimes, on her days off, I have to phone, text, or email her for information or support. We have clear boundaries as to how much of this communication is free ... and how much of such communication is timed paid work for her.
- She knew NOTHING about hoarding/squalor ... because she's naturally a "cleanie" or "born-organized" person.
BUT ... She doesn't judge me. We both come from a 12step background -- so therefore she understands that human beings can be afflicted with unhelpful behavior patterns ... and can change when they are ready.
- I've been reading here at SqualorSurvivors and Stepping Out of Squalor ... for years. I've learned lots of the psychology of hoarding and squalor already ... from being a member here. Even though my helper knew NOTHING about hoarding and squalor .... I share with her the *concepts* that I've learned here (without disclosing anyone's personal stories to her). Thus her organizational/cleaning expertise is combined with my hoarding/squalor knowledge.
- MOST IMPORTANT:
My inner commitment to actually getting my home cleaned up -- and to making it stay clean by cleaning up after myself.
-
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Post by messymimi on Jan 5, 2012 15:49:06 GMT -5
Congratulations, CL_SS!
Any way to clone her?
messymimi
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Post by wynken on Jan 5, 2012 21:04:38 GMT -5
That sounds really good CL_SS. Let us know how it goes.
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Post by def6 on Jan 5, 2012 22:28:58 GMT -5
Hello Dear Lion, This is very good info here. I am glad to know that this type of mutual relationship/ business agreement can exsist.  |
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Post by saffron on Jan 7, 2012 5:31:02 GMT -5
 Lioness, that's so cool about your paid helper. My one friend, EM, is too ill to help me anymore, but I have someone who has been in my house, so she knows the state of everything. She's willing to work for me, as soon as the finances improve (maybe by Feb or March.) You've really thought out your situation well. Best wishes for the New Year, Lioness. I know, with time, you will achieve your goals. Keep up the good work. saf 
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