spacemaker
New Member
Space (where I can see carpet), the final frontier
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 88
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Post by spacemaker on Sept 14, 2008 2:35:03 GMT -5
OK, I just love this thread.
For my birthday, a friend that knows about my situation gave me one of flylady's books, I guess trying to be "helpful". I had been to her website before and tried to get into it but found it simply annoying and in some cases very judgmental.
I tore the book into pieces and threw it away as soon as I got home - partly because I thought that was just an appalling thing to include in a gift (given in a public place, no less) and partly because I just have "special" feelings for flylady. Anyway, shredding it made for a good little self-therapy moment =)
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Post by bluefrog on Sept 14, 2008 7:12:43 GMT -5
Okay, okay... who is FlyLady and can I hate her too?? I've seriously never heard of her and am really scared to google the name. I am just going to back away slowly - with my beloved crocs on- and bad mouth FlyLady to everyone I know!! No, don't. Really. Yeah, there are a lot of emails and cutesy names and she does have a thing for shoes and some people who have heard her in person say she's abrasive. But her IDEAS are excellent, when you get past the window-dressing. Go to the site, take what you need, and leave the rest. If you do sign up, there are a lot fewer emails than there used to be, and you can always delete the ones you can't use. Flylady's methods may not work for you, but they're worth a look. Someone else asked about God Breezes: they're random excellent ideas that come at odd moments, which, if you're religious in that way, can be considered hints from God. Yeah, I make sure the sink is clean every night.
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Post by angelinahedgehog on Sept 14, 2008 7:14:39 GMT -5
heylady1, a God Breeze is what most people would call "divine inspiration". FlyLady might say something like "I woke up at 3am with a God Breeze, and I knew that I had to write about being kind to people". I wouldn't say that. I would say something more like... "As soon as I woke up, I had a flash of divine inspiration, and I knew that I needed to write a message about choices." Except I wouldn't even say that. Really, I would say something more like... "When I was taking a shower, my mind ran away from me, muttering about brooms, and by the time I caught up with it, the damage was done."* butterflyrider, Flylady is the online nickname of Marla Cilley. Her site can be found at www.flylady.net/ . She got out of a clutter problem, and started to share her experiences and methods with others. (Her methods are derived from the Sidetracked Home Executive system created by Peggy Jones and Pam Young.) The Flylady system is not for everyone. She start small, and builds up, but she doesn't want to hear any whining. If what she's saying won't work for you, it's up to you to change it so it does. The main problem with that attitude is that if the small steps don't work for someone, if they can't or won't make that change, and if they're frozen enough that they can't figure out how to make it work for them, then that person is likely to get shut out. And Flylady is no help in that area. She doesn't want to hear it. She is not going to tell you how to adapt her program to your needs. However, I've seen a few testimonials from people who couldn't or wouldn't wear shoes in the house and who had adapted that requirement to something they could handle. Those testimonials are published. There is silent approval of those changes. She may not tell you how to adapt her rules, and she doesn't want to hear questions about it, but if you find something that works for you, it's okay. Her main tools for getting out of clutter are 27 Fling Boogies, and use of a timer. That's fine as far as it goes, but people in squalor may need to see real progress quickly, because discouragement sets in pretty easily. On the other hand, I think her system is quite good for setting up maintenance routines. Again, though, you need to adapt her system to what works for you. *Well, at least no flatulent deities were harmed in the process.
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Post by Moodle on Sept 14, 2008 13:37:09 GMT -5
I have purchased FlyLady products and, while a bit pricey, they are high quality and I actually enjoy using them. I will replace them from her company when they wear out.
I take from FlyLady's site what helps me and leave the rest. What may help me may be of no benefit to others and vice versa.
It concerns me that a site started by our former SS community would now be so freely given to base language and focused negativity about another 'free' site that also tries to help. We seek donations, FlyLady chooses to sell products.
I have never seen FlyLady degrade another site.
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Post by threeg on Sept 14, 2008 15:36:50 GMT -5
I tried FlyLady and eventually deleted it, because I couldn't keep up with all of her suggestions/demands/email suggestions. I don't like shoes either. I wear sandals or slippers at home and if I choose to, I clean just as well in them OR barefoot. I did take what I liked and left the rest. The 27 fling has turned to a however many fling, because I figure that ANY amount tossed or donated is better than none. In all honesty I find that this forum, as Squalor Survivors did, helps to motivate me a lot more than FlyLady's did. 3g
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Post by cleanhouse on Sept 14, 2008 16:20:41 GMT -5
This thread cracked me up!
I tried following flylady before I found SS. I'm still subscribed to the emails. They inspire me in a way that keeps me from spiraling into a desperate mood over my squalor. I get to see it with different eyes and see that I can quash it. The constant theme is to work a little at a time chipping away at the squalor and replacing them with cleaning routines. Yes a lot of the email is cutesie but that's what the delete button is for.
The only routine I've been successful with is getting my dishes washed and getting the sink cleaned. I used to always wash the dishes but very rarely clean the sink. Now I've slowly expanded to my mopping my floors, bathroom cleaning and bedmaking more often. I still have trouble with dusting, vacuuming, putting away things in general, always piling up things - you get the picture - but I make more attempts than before especially because of those chore reminders. Those are great because the task is broken down. I don't necessarily do them as they come in or often but they help me. So you see I don't follow flylady per se but I do get inspired.
This site and SS has inspired me other ways. So I just take what I learn from both and apply it to me.
AND I DON'T WEAR SHOES TO CLEAN EITHER!!!
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Post by tiredofthis on Sept 14, 2008 19:08:59 GMT -5
I don't think I've seen the chore reminders... they actually they tell you how to break down a task? That does sound helpful.
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Post by angelinahedgehog on Sept 14, 2008 19:38:17 GMT -5
tiredofthis, Kelly's missions generally break a task down into manageable steps. If you take a look at www.flylady.net/pages/sneak_peek.asp , you'll see her instructions for cleaning the refrigerator. Which reminds me... Done. Some of the broccoli florets shed some buds on top of the crisper drawer. I just took care of them.
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Calico
New Member
Joined: October 2011
Posts: 59
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Post by Calico on Sept 14, 2008 20:20:07 GMT -5
Like others, I've visited Flylady's website, and I took what worked for me and skipped what didn't. I never signed up for the emails, so I didn't have that particular irritation!
What I found helpful from Flylady:
She has one of the best descriptions for how to declutter that I've ever read. I used that, along with her Zone system, to do a major de-cluttering of my home a few years ago. She divides the house up into zones, and assigns a specific week of the month to each zone. So in the first full week of the month, you work on the kitchen; second week, bathroom, etc.
I found that not having to decide where to work was really helpful to me. And her declutter instructions include starting at the door of a room and working clockwise. So for a couple of months, I would work in the designated room for 15 minutes every morning and another 15 every evening, starting at the door, and picking up where I left off each time. This allowed me to really focus on making decisions about the items in the room, instead of being distracted by having to make decisions about where to work. And she recommends having a wastebasket and two boxes (for give-away and put-away), so you can act immediately on your decisions. The decision is just this: do I want to keep this item? If yes, does it belong in this room or elsewhere? (If it belongs elsewhere, you just put it in the put-away box; when your session is done, you can carry the box around the house and put things in the correct rooms.) If no, do I want to throw it away or give it away?
That structure really worked for me at the time. I went through my whole house twice and cleared out a LOT of stuff. Then it quit working, or I went into a different phase, or something. That's how most systems seem to work for me.
I never did get into either shining the sink or wearing shoes inside. I chose to interpret those in a way that worked for me. Instead of shining the sink, I tried to do a load of dishes every morning and every evening, to keep the kitchen clear. And I felt her idea of "dressing to the shoes" really meant getting ready for the day each morning, even if you're going to be home most of the day. For me that means showering and dressing in clean clothes I could wear out of the house, instead of bumming around in grubby or torn/stained clothes (or my pj's!). I just feel more energized when I'm presentable.
I also liked reading some of the lists of things that people found around their house - "what was I thinking?" moments. It added some humor and made me realize other people did weird stuff too!
Just my thoughts -
Calico
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Post by nmf on Sept 15, 2008 8:19:02 GMT -5
Moodle, I see where your concern is coming from. At the same time, I understand the frustration of some SOS folks (especially some newbies) who are finding something that finally works for them and comparing this (sometimes quite colorfully) to another system that doesn't fit their style or needs, or rubs them the wrong way. I bought one of the FlyLady's books several years ago and did find certain parts to be inspirational; the sink cleaning, the use of a timer; tossing out a certain number of items at a time, etc. Never did get into the "zone" maintenance cleaning because my place was too squalored for that. I would read her book for a jump-start motivation at times. As to shoes: I love, love being barefoot. At the same time, I've had several leg injuries that are now better supported and less sore with shoes. I also have the unfortunate habit of stepping on items (once, a Christmas tree lightbulb) and hurting myself. So depending on the task, sometimes shoes are a necessary evil for me. In the Sink Reflections book, the Flylady mentions that she was once hospitalized for depression...so it surprises me a bit that she wouldn't be more supportive of depressed or other ailing folks. Then again some people who have recovered (or are feeling better) from depression or other problems seem to have less patience for people they assume are not having as much success as they are in recovery. (This alone would make an interesting thread!) What turned me off about FlyLady (who I believe is well-intentioned, like my own dear mother) were slight (or not so slight) jabs at folks with lifestyles and beliefs different than her own. There is a passage in Sink Reflections that says something like "if you are married, the bedroom is where you love your husband and conceive your babies . If you are single, it is where you have your alone time" or some such puritanical stuff. From my perspective, that's dismissive and derogatory towards me, and a lot of the different kinds of families that are out there...there was also this very black/white distinction between stay at home moms and working folks which I think is divisive rather than helpful. I'm unmarried and without human children for now, by choice, but I'm in a loving committed relationship. My significant other and I are figuring out how to run our household (and relationship) as an equal partnership...and sometimes reading jabs at "you women's libbers" <- not Flylady, but several testimonials in her book) and how I should have "something nummby in the crockpot when my man gets home" makes me chuckle. If I want advice on what some folks are convinced my "wifely responsibilities" are...I'll call my mother. Again, take the helpful stuff from whatever source, leave the rest. - No More Fear
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Post by anonymoose on Sept 15, 2008 16:10:30 GMT -5
Hey, when you're in this far over your head, roll with whatever works for you. It's all subjective!
Of course, subjectively speaking, I'd flay myself with a toilet brush before I'd go back to flylady. Just didn't feel comfortable with the whole tone, and those infernal *** emails!
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Post by mellowyellow on Sept 15, 2008 16:46:41 GMT -5
"something nummby in the crockpot when my man gets home" ROTFL!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness. Excuse me for my childish grossness... but as my sister and I used to say, "Barf!!" with a big teenage eye-roll. Disclaimer: I love crockpots. Nothing wrong with good food. Nothing wrong with having a man. But... just... YECH!!!!
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Post by lettinggo on Sept 17, 2008 0:11:37 GMT -5
Sorry, there is no such thing as a "shoe Nazi".
Sorry, this is one of my real hot buttons, because I don't think that word should ever be watered down.
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hollymaid
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 99
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Post by hollymaid on Sept 18, 2008 11:45:12 GMT -5
The shoe thing I think is because you are less likely to sit down or stretch out on the sofa if you have your shoes on? Also, you are more motivated to take out the garbage and put your give aways in the car. Because you already have your shoes on.
Professional cleaners have to have their shoes on as they work. It is easier on you back. protects your feet from floor chemicals. Provides you traction, and stability.
As said before. She can not see through your computer screen. Take what you will from her sight and forget the rest. I personally could not stand the constant e-mail reminders to shine my sink. I still had the rest of my house to go.
She is fun to make fun of.
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Post by limegreen on Sept 18, 2008 21:55:29 GMT -5
yes. a shoe nazi. but more of the neo shoe nazi school. you do have to shave your head and yell weird slogans out of cars at strangers, but you don't have to actually take over the world. so, the good with the bad. Hey, does it count that I had my hair cut real short today and my hairdreser yelled out of her car at a cycling road race my brother and niece were on last Sunday. But dash it all, I will not wear shoes in my house unless I want to, nor a bra for that matter, all that can go south went south some time past. And my style is mostly early eightes pajamaesque with accents of hooded top. Oh yes, my sink could use a shining, but you'd have to shift the dish mountian first.
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