|
|
Post by Sunshine on Apr 23, 2012 5:34:02 GMT -5
 AllWell, your courage and sheer gutsiness through all this have been inspiring. One thing - I think maybe you need to let yourself sleep sometimes? Fatigue can mess with the mind and the emotions. You're the only one who can judge what is right for you, it was just the 'up at 2:30' thing sounded a bit hard on yourself. I do think that this will be a turning point that you'll look back on and think.... that was a really tough time, but I came through it, and I can tackle anything - by taking one tiny, miraculous step at a time.
|
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 23, 2012 6:17:23 GMT -5
Do keep in mind that the BOH inspector didn't see your place at its worst, so he won't be able to understand or appreciate exactly how much progress you've made.
When I made major changes in our home, I had to learn to give DH time to catch up emotionally.
The inspector will be most interested in the condition of your home on the day of inspection, and if it doesn't pass, what it will take to get it from where it is to where it needs to be.
If I were in your shoes, I would understand this on an intellectual level, but still feel such a huge let-down after the inspection was over that I'd want to "throw in the towel" if I didn't pass.
You're doing a great job! Don't let your feelings get in your way!
PS: this might not even be a problem for you, of course. I just wanted to give you a heads-up, so if that let-down occurs, it doesn't blind-side you. I second everything howardsgirlfriend said. Very important point. - |
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 23, 2012 6:19:36 GMT -5
I wish I had the time right now to thank each of you individually for all of your support and encouragement, which has helped me get through all of this. You have *AMNESTY* from any perceived obligation to thank us. Heavens, absolutely don't worry about it! Just do whatever you need to do. We're with you! - |
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Apr 23, 2012 7:51:49 GMT -5
AllWell, you are doing a great job. Hope they see how far you have come and let you keep going!
messymimi
|
|
|
|
Post by skatters on Apr 23, 2012 9:15:39 GMT -5
Allwell, I am sending calming vibes your way! I would be an absolute mess today. I hope your assessment goes well!
|
|
|
|
Post by tangerine on Apr 23, 2012 13:22:09 GMT -5
Hi allwell...just thinking about you today and hoping it goes well with the BOH. I'm so impressed and inspired by your amazing attitude!
|
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Apr 23, 2012 13:31:06 GMT -5
Sending up prayers for you today.
|
|
allwell
New Member
All will be well
Posts: 56
|
Post by allwell on Apr 23, 2012 15:09:28 GMT -5
Update: began work at 4am today, first hour or so working in the kitchen ok but then it hit me that there were many more layers on the floor than I thought, I filled up at least 10 more big trash bags. I began to feel very panicky and the anxiety kept increasing as the hour approached when the BoH guy was expected. I still hadn't done anything towards clearing a path of bare floor in the living room and it didn't seem as though I was going to finish clearing one in the kitchen. I was freaking out, I was absolutely exhausted and feeling sick to my stomach, at 9:15am my cell phone rung and it was the BoH guy, asking if we had agreed on an appointment today or tomorrow, I said today but tomorrow would be better, he said fine, he would be by at 9:30! I can't tell you how relieved I was and thankful I was! I know, here I go postponing again and I probably would be glad to have it all over. Again I have misjudged the degree of squalor I have been living in all of this time. I immediately took a shower and relaxed then took a 2 hour nap. When I woke up I still felt tired a very nauseous, munching on crackers and drinking water. I now feel I have been through the worst of all of this and that if I put in 3 to 4 hours more of work it will be ok. I know that alot of these physical reactions are due to psychological reasons, I am finally coming out of denial and digging up emotions that I have buried under all of the squalor and it is painful! I am seeing my psychiatrist Wed so will discuss this all with him. I will do a bit tonight a get up a few hours earlier tomorrow, which by the way is my 62nd birthday, I'll look at this all as a new beginning.
|
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 23, 2012 15:17:04 GMT -5
I began to feel very panicky and the anxiety kept increasing as the hour approached when the BoH guy was expected.
I was freaking out, I was absolutely exhausted and feeling sick to my stomach, at 9:15am my cell phone rung and it was the BoH guy, asking if we had agreed on an appointment today or tomorrow, I said today but tomorrow would be better, he said fine, he would be by at 9:30! I can't tell you how relieved I was and thankful I was! Okay that was the Universe being helpful. Wow! I know that alot of these physical reactions are due to psychological reasons, I am finally coming out of denial and digging up emotions that I have buried under all of the squalor and it is painful! Exactly! This process is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I am seeing my psychiatrist Wed so will discuss this all with him. Great timing! tomorrow, which by the way is my 62nd birthday, I'll look at this all as a new beginning.
 Happy re-birth day!- |
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Apr 23, 2012 15:50:17 GMT -5
YES! What Lioness said!
HAPPY RE-BIRTH DAY!
|
|
|
|
Post by ontheway on Apr 23, 2012 18:55:29 GMT -5
AllWell - I am glad you got some rest earlier today - Do NOT make yourself sick over this process! As they say, eat, drink and be merry (and may I add, take at least catnaps!). Accept that the job won't be all done tomorrow, but that you have made quite a dent into it - and tell that to this guy, when he comes! Try, and go to bed at a proper time tonight (midnight?) - so you will be able to explain what you have done, ask the questions you want to ask - and not get emotional during the process due to exhaustion! Last December and January I literally made myself sick over 2 court-related cased I had to testify at for work. The anticipation of it all was the worst of it. I tried to prepare - over prepared - but in the end it was what it was. So it will tomorrow. Get a good night's rest. Drink (use the bathroom  , eat a decent dinner, and snuggle into your bed. You deserve it!. Tomorrow will come. The BOH rep will arrive. The assessment will happen. What you do between now and then will make minimal difference in his assessment at this point - you already have the bags to go out, and whatever paths cleared to move around. Rest and be refreshed for tomorrow, friend. We will be here for you. PS: If at all possible, don't POSTPONE any longer! You may just be postponing handy assistance getting those zillion bags you have bagged up - out the door! Happy Birthday!   |
|
|
|
Post by howardsgirlfriend on Apr 24, 2012 1:07:10 GMT -5
Tomorrow will go much better because of your efforts.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sunshine on Apr 24, 2012 5:21:06 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 24, 2012 5:28:06 GMT -5
If you can bathe/shower ... or wash yourself with a cloth ...
before the inspector arrives, that will help you feel better.
If you cannot, don't stress about it.
It might help if you put on clean clothes
before the inspector arrives.
This might help show the inspector that you value clean clothes.
Obviously, you'll be too tired to care at that point,
.... but he won't know that.
Again .... if you cannot do this, don't stress about it.
The main thing is to be kind to yourself,
and to say to yourself that all you've done,
and prepare to tell the inspector that....
AND
Prepare to tell the inspector that you are WILLING
to be in COMPLIANCE with whatever the rules are.
Make sure that he understands you want to change.
You may *feel* resentful, but don't show that!
Explain that you were in deep grief, but are willing to get help
and want to change your life.
Sound optimistic but realistic ...
Most important, whatever he says or does,
keep an attitude of INNER DIGNITY.
No matter what happens,
this man cannot take your dignity.
Hold your head up!
-
|
|
|
|
Post by ramatama on Apr 24, 2012 5:47:42 GMT -5
Dear AllWell, so many people have said so many wise things, there is not much left for me to add but to wish you a  May it be a very special one for you with your "new" virtual family here. |
|
