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Post by kathymarie on May 4, 2012 9:33:35 GMT -5
Hello everyone....I found this site accidentally but am glad I did....except that I can see myself sitting here for hours reading posts while the clutter and mess around me sits too. I could spell out in graphic terms what I'm feeling right now...the desperation, the shame, the abject fear...but I can see that most of you know firsthand what I mean. I wasn't always like this...my children are grown now but I can't seem to get anything done. I'm horribly depressed and feel frozen....numb. Are there any guidelines for "getting started" on the site...any "plans" that have worked for others that might work for me? I used to respond well to schedules....are there any here? I'm drowning, please help me.
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Post by casper on May 4, 2012 9:39:07 GMT -5
Hi & welcome!  Just jump in. The water is fine!  To get started I would suggest you start in "working in threes" on the "Listzilla" board. Then read around and find other methods we use here to help motivate us. Best wishes, Tillie |
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Post by kathymarie on May 4, 2012 9:45:24 GMT -5
Thank you, Tillie, for responding so quickly....I feel like I'm running out of time. I'll check our the "working in 3's" right now.
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kiddledo
Member
It's not always about you
Posts: 367
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Post by kiddledo on May 4, 2012 10:13:53 GMT -5
Sometimes as you check in on the posts, you can find information, inspiration and compassion. Some stories and out-and-out motivating as there are the many different ways others have found to work though our own type of "miserable"
Glad you found us, glad you're starting a plan and glad your here
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Post by messyme on May 4, 2012 12:16:57 GMT -5
Welcome! I'm like you, I need a plan and I'm always looking for a "right" way to do things but sometimes there is no right way and, as they say, often motivation follows action. Many people recommend something like setting a timer for a short time (ex: 10 minutes); grab a garbage bag and just start filling it up. Everyone's situation is different. (Ex: more or less clutter, garbage, different levels of organization). If you describe what's bothering you about your clutter and mess (ex: certain rooms, problem areas, etc.) we might be able to help you with some kind of plan if that helps. I know that might be difficult to do, though; it's just a suggestion. You can do it! (When you say "I feel like I'm running out of time", what do you mean by this?) |
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Post by caffeineaddict on May 4, 2012 13:20:41 GMT -5
I'm right next to you drowning as well, so if nothing else, we can cling to a life preserver together as we figure out how to swim. One thing I've seen written over and over around here is just to start. Do SOMEthing, no matter how small. Some days the ONLY thing I get done is to pick up ONE dish and put it in the sink. But I did it. You can too.
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Post by dtesposito on May 4, 2012 13:29:59 GMT -5
Hi kathymarie--do you have a timer? I use a timer every day, it helps me so much--give yourself 10 minutes to read posts here, then set it for 10 minutes (or whatever) and make yourself work during that time. Repeat! You can use it while posting on one of the Listzilla threads too.
What I found the most helpful is to just pick one small area that will make a difference to your everyday life (like a spot on the kitchen counter) and start there. It's motivating to have a clean place to prepare a meal, and that will help you to clean something else.
Diane
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Post by Arid on May 4, 2012 13:49:02 GMT -5
For me, the most important "Threes" are the Three Ds: dinner, dishes, and duds (i.e. laundry).
As long as I can have food ready for one decent meal (don't worry; we eat more than one meal a day--it's just that the other two + snacks are "catch as catch can"), wash one batch of dishes, and do one load of laundry each day, we can survive! LOL!! Some days, I fail at getting all three done; some days, I'm able to do two or three loads of laundry or a double batch of dishes. (That helps me to catch up on the backlog.)
Anything else that I manage to get done around the house--any cleaning, dusting, de-cluttering--is a super-duper *BONUS* in my life!! (More often than not, that "bonus" doesn't happen . . . sigh . . )
Welcome to the board!
Arid
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Post by messymimi on May 4, 2012 14:16:08 GMT -5
Welcome, Kathy Marie!
Motivation follows action. Pick up one item. Throw it away or put it away. Congratulate yourself, you did it! Then do one more.
As you build up your sorting and throwing away "muscles", you will be able to do more. Keep going.
The way i use this site is that i read a post, then do a job, whatever that job is. Then post an answer, do another job. Reading and writing here is part of my motivation to do more.
Try different ways of working, and keep trying until you find what works for you. You can do it.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by Sunshine on May 4, 2012 14:24:41 GMT -5
Hello KathyMarie - it's really, really good to meet you! You're welcome and safe and needed here All the previous posts are full of good sense about where to start. I'll add my personal favourite:  Amnesty: takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=general&thread=11341&page=1 That was such a big eye opener for me! The other thing that has boggled my mind - and made a really big difference - is that you don't have to do a whole task at once, or 'perfectly'. I got my nasty bathroom clean by doing it a few inches at a time, and it didn't take nearly as long as I expected.  Good on you for heading to Working in Threes! |
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Post by dayeanu on May 4, 2012 14:32:34 GMT -5
Welcome to the board!
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Post by upintheair on May 4, 2012 15:35:43 GMT -5
Hey! I'm new here too!
Since I joined (like 4 days ago) I have made tons of progress! You can too - just learn how to make the site work for you!
I set up a personal blog where I keep track of what I need to get done, what I plan to get done each day, and I love using the icons to create a checklist I can see my progress. And everyone cheers you on!
There's also tons of list threads where you can share your day in a list (or any other method) with a group of people every day and track your progress together.
I do both!
Another thing I found very liberating was posting my pictures here of my squalor. (Don't worry only members can see photos). The reactions people give you here make you feel much better about your mess than the reactions your own mind gives you, trust me.
You've come to the right place. Take your time! It's all about taking one step at a time here. All the little things add up!
(Also I have noticed everyone here has bountiful amounts of advice, there is probably someone here who can help you with any particular obstacle, there are lots of different strategies and everyone here is great at helping you find ones that work for you!)
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Post by ramatama on May 4, 2012 16:04:10 GMT -5
Hi kathymarie--do you have a timer? I use a timer every day, it helps me so much--give yourself 10 minutes to read posts here, then set it for 10 minutes (or whatever) and make yourself work during that time. Repeat! You can use it while posting on one of the Listzilla threads too. Diane Hello and welcome! If you don't have a timer, or cannot find it  then use one or two songs playing on the radio ( or whatever, maybe even sing yourself!) ...do something while song plays, rest the next, or viceversa, or tell yourself a two song unit of time to start on "such and such". I find music keeps me going. |
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