Buying things for a life I don't lead Sept 9, 2008 22:45:50 GMT -5 creativechaos, revmess, and 3 more like this Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostBack to Top Post by snailspace on Sept 9, 2008 22:45:50 GMT -5 It occured to me one day how often I make purchases for a kind of life that I don't actually have. Or a life I wish I had. Or a life I fantasize about maybe having one day. Because sometimes it feels as if things are talismans, like they would somehow make these alternate realities come true. I wonder how much of our clutter, our acquisitions, come from trying to furnish a fantasy. If I bought these beautiful earrings with the silver hooks, then surely I would go out to dinner more.If I bought this artistic little pendant people would admire it at the job I don't have yet. If I get the pendant with the calligraphy on it, then this imaginary dream job is at the library.If I buy this pillow it will look fabulous on the bed I never make. But WOULD make, every single day, if I had this pillow. It will lead to matching paint on the walls and a new bedspread, and a room decor worthy of a magazine. Somehow. I've bought clothes for events I will never go to. And clothes I will never fit into. And clothes for activities I will never participate in.I've purchased yarn for projects I know I won't make, and yarn for projects I want to make but know I will never use.I buy discounted school supplies every fall because I feel a step closer to a higher education I never seem able to pursue.When I was a young teenager I bought a book on raising sheep. Because I honestly thought it was going to be a practical, useful, how-to guide for the life I was going to have. I see now it was only a tangible part of a mirage, an inexpensive piece of an expensive dream that I could hold in my hands. It was the closest to that way of life that this suburban girl was ever going to get. I got rid of the book a long time ago. I've gotten rid of a lot of things, but I keep accumulating more that are just as impractical. Why? Because to let them go is to let go of a dream? To stop buying is to stop dreaming?I have purchased twelve pairs of earrings in the last four months and I don't have pierced ears. I just have this fantasy. In it I'm eating a piece of pie in a riverview restaurant, and I have an inverted tulip dangling from each lobe. I am thin and young and wearing a nice dress. The only part of this I can actually achieve? Yeah. Buying the earrings. As long as they keep showing up in the mailbox, I can keep dreaming.