10 days til Moving Day - mixed feelings?

[ready2awaken]

So...
I have not been as active on this site as I should be - I guess I'm still struggling with shame and embarassment and it's hard for me to admit what's going on, even to you guys. Which is silly, because you've all been SOOOO supportive from my very first post, and I need to get over myself and accept the problem for what it is.

That aside - in 10 days' time, my daughter and I are moving to a new apartment. It's a much nicer place, in a nice town, and I get to start a new degree program at a new school - I'm even leaving behind my emotionally abusive family and pseudo-boyfriend who treats me like crap. This is a joyful time in my life - cathatric, healthy, fresh and new. I'm only 25 years old, and I get to take the reins again.
So why am I so overwhelmed and having difficulty getting there?

I haven't really got a hoarding problem, in the traditional sense. I'm not fiercely attached to objects and possessions - in fact I'm basically the opposite. I'm so easily intimidated by trash and clutter that I put on blinders and don't deal with it. That's how I've gotten to this point.

My new house came furnished, including dishes and such, so I am disposing of about 85% of everything I own (a fantastic feeling!)... it's really just a matter of sorting through the mess, picking out what's truly important to me and packing it up, and throwing the rest in the trash. I've rented a dumpster, which will be here in a few days, and that should speed this along I'm hoping.

In the meantime, I have to show the apartment tomorrow and it's even filthier than usual, since I've been prowling through the piles of junk trying to get started. I'm stressed out, and embarassed, and as excited as I am to get out of here and into my new start, I'm paralyzed by a feeling I can't quite identify. I don't know where to start, and I've had a headache for a month.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone here has moved on short notice, or has any advice for doing so.
In theory, this move should jumpstart my maintenance journey, although I'm a little nervous about turning my new place into the same sort of dump this one has become.

I'm trying to maintain hope because I wasn't like this before I lived here (it's only been 2 years I've been so out of control) and maybe I will be able to prevent it from happening again. Does that sound like a pipe dream?

I'm going to survive the next 10 days, right?

[lizzie]

TOTALLY going to survive it! Moving is always a time of change and it can churn things up literally and psychologically. This too will pass.

Are you able to get into chat or work on listzilla for ongoing support?

There have been threads about moving on short notice, the only thing that immediately sticks in my mind is of having a suitcase of immediate, use all the time clothing (eg knickers, nightwear) as if you were camping for a few days - and just sticking with those very basic items - and also having a place for all of the important stuff such as phone charger, purse, jewellery, necessary documents, so that when they turn up you put them into the 'important' box, and can easily access them and keep them safe. Best wishes to you, keep posting! Regards, Lizzie

[Blackswan]

I second what Lizzie said.

I just went through moving and it was so stressful! Remember to sleep well, feed yourself well, take plenty of breaks and drink lots of water. Working fifteen minutes on and fifteen minutes off was much more productive for me personally cause my problem was being overwhelmed, procrastinating, and shutting down.

I am so glad to be on the other side of this! Hopefully soon you can say you are on the other side too. You WILL make it, I promise.

[zinnia]

Jul 19, 2012 23:46:32 GMT -5 lizzie said:

..... having a place for all of the important stuff such as phone charger, purse, jewellery, necessary documents, so that when they turn up you put them into the 'important' box, and can easily access them and keep them safe.

An "important box" works great!

You can do this!
Remember to take breaks, drink water, and eat.

[messymimi]

It feels overwhelming, but feelings are not facts.

You have proven in the past that you can maintain a home, and i know you can do this.

When i get those vague, panicky feelings, i pray for or meditate for others, and make myself do one thing. Motivation follows the action.

One job at a time, you can do it.

messymimi

[success19]

Your moving, starting school, raising a child alone, leaving a relationship - of course you are stressed! But you will survive! You are starting over - it is also an exciting time! I think you are a strong person for the great decisions you are making!

[catherina]

Wow, how fantastic that you're able to move and leave behind your situation. Of course you're stressed, but you'll get through this, the end is in sight

[seashell]

Jul 19, 2012 23:23:10 GMT -5 ready2awaken said:

I'm only 25 years old, and I get to take the reins again.

I love this!

Since your new place will already be at maintenance (assuming you get rid of 85% of your belongings), maybe consider making a maintenance list of what you need to do in each room each day, week, month, etc. For instance, wash dishes daily, pick up and dispose of random trash daily, go through incoming papers weekly, etc. Then you can check these off as you complete them, and that will give you a feeling of accomplishment.

If lists don't work for you, maybe look around each room every day and get rid of what doesn't need to be there. On a day you feel like vacuuming--go for it. Keep the dishes washed, the obvious trash out, and the laundry caught up. These can work wonders.

You can do this! And we are here. Please give yourself amnesty from the shame and guilt. This is what we are here for, and we are all dealing with the same issues.

PS: How did it go showing the apartment?

[PaperGrace]

Congratulations! You can do this!

As for the fear of letting things get bad in the new place I have this to add (and it might not be the case for you): Many of us were either never taught to, or got out of the habit of cleaning things before they seem dirty. Waiting for the sink to be full of dishes before deciding it is time to wash them just makes the task seem all the more unpleasant, which leads to avoiding it, which leads to a mountain, which leads to take-out, which leads to piles of trash and sink pudding! Either cleaning as we go, or making a point to address each area BEFORE it needs it is what will keep us out of trouble. When you have a packed schedule it is all the more important to pencil it into the day instead of waiting until the floor is sticky and the toilet is spawning new life. That doesn't mean you should schedule all your free time as housework time! Just make sure that you aren't waiting until you feel stressed about it to start! It doesn't take much to push us over the edge into overwhelmed, especially with kids and school!