Thank you Joyinvirginia. That feels so good to be welcomed back.
I noticed I had a notification. After I finally figured out where to go and see the notification I was thrilled! Courageously Lion Seeks Serenity used this thread, along with many others, to encourage others in recovery. Man that feels so good. Thank you Lion. hehe I guess I better read my own thread!!
Today is my 3rd day back. Instead of staying on here from the time I get up until it's time to go to bed, I'm staying 2-4 hours and then moving on to things that interest me. Things are getting done. I joined in December 2009. I've come and gone several times over the years, but each time I come back it gets a little easier. Things don't seem so dirty and gross this time.
It is a matter of perspective. Like I said, I joined in December 2009. Things were going great. I was at maintenance level. But, life happens. May 01, 2010 my oldest DD and SIL were flooded out of their home. They came here. If you have ever moved away from home and then moved back, you know it's hard to adjust. I have my habits and they have their habits. They are still here, with my blessing, and are planning on building a home. I gave them some land to build a home, and they will live right next to me. They can take care of me in my old age!
I've spent a lot of time blaming them under my breath that this mess is all their fault. Well, it is NOT! They are living in a separate apartment from the main house. They do use my living room, dining room, one bedroom for storage and another bedroom for their office (my former library/craft/office) for their business equipment and office. My youngest DD keeps her room clean.
That leaves me my bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom to keep clean. Have I been doing that? No, I have wallowed in self pity instead of doing maintenance. It is so obvious, but I wasn't seeing it. There are plenty of things I can do to make my home, look like a home! They will soon have their own home. They want their own space. It will happen and we will all have memories to last a lifetime.
No one has prevented me from putting away those little Christmas village houses from last year. They have been sitting there on that dining room buffet since 2012.(it's really a dresser/chest of drawers that belonged to my grandparents. I use it for tablecloths, large serving pieces, candle, napkins, etc)
No one has prevented me from sweeping daily.
No one has prevented me from washing dishes daily.
I do keep up with my laundry, and don't leave my dishes for to many days. I'm looking forward to "CHAT" everyday to receive encouragement from the folks there to return to maintenance level.
I don't make many purchases other than groceries. So, I'm not bringing in more "stuff". My DD and SIL purchase a lot of things online for their business. I can see how purchasing things online can be a curse. All their boxes from recent purchases are on my long sofa. They keep some of the boxes for short periods of time, in case they need to return something. The boxes and products such as shipping peanuts and bubble wrap take up lots of space in the home and in the garbage. I understand it, so I just pile them in one place and it's fine. It's when the boxes start spreading around to different places in the house does it begin to bother me. Their equipment in my living room doesn't bother me, 'cause they need it for their business. Stacked neatly out of the way is fine with me.
My frustration comes when I do NOT do what I am suppose to do. I am my own worst enemy.
So, I will reread my maintenance post and will get back to maintenance shortly. Maintenance DOES work, it really does.