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Post by ponygirl on Feb 19, 2014 15:38:12 GMT -5
Wow, thanks, everyone! You all continue to inspire me each and every day...even if I'm not online with you...you're in my heart and thoughts. What Betseymarie said above...about the 'mental tipping point'?...that is it...I've gotten 'there'. The place...house/yard/barn/everything I have is cluttered to some point, and...in and of itself, is only marginally better...really, not much better at all, to be truthful...but my mental state over it all is much, much better. I truly believe that we can all get to that mental point...I'm not quoting PW here, but it really does get to the point where you say to yourself, 'you know, it really IS all too much...and what can I do about it?'. Also, do not be discouraged by your smallest gains...for that is where true progress begins. Don't. Ever. Give. Up. I know this sounds cliché`, but if I can get to this mental state, I know you can, too. Now, please don't get me wrong...I'm not at a 'cakewalk' point...I'm still struggling very much. However, it is so much easier to move forward and move things OUT. I keep repeating to myself, 'does this make my life better?'. If something does not...and, really, this is a 'yes' or 'no' question, we have to get past the 'maybe'...for there is NO maybe...it either does or it doesn't...and if it does not...it must find a graceful...or not so graceful...exit from my abode. Yes, I've cried. Yes, I've hesitated over something...but NEVER...not ONCE...have I ever regretted ANYTHING that went into the burn pile...or the garbage can...or to the donation bin (fewer and fewer items am I worrying about donating...just get it OUT anyway you can). Sunk costs?? Well, that is exactly what it is...sunk...gone...nonrecoverable....don't fret over it, don't ebay it, don't garage-sale it, don't craig's list it...it's just not WORTH IT. Get it out and gone, the faster the better. I burned another bag of paper stuff yesterday...magazines, and all kinds of paper items. And you know what? Once I hauled the bag out of the house and set it on fire...I couldn't recall ONE of the items that I placed in there. So, what does that tell me? Nothing...absolutely nothing in there...added anything important to my life. I'm sending love, strength, and good wishes to all of you. I couldn't have a better, more wonderful group of friends and support than you wise folks. Carry on and don't regret a decision. I'm learning that myself, each day. xoxo
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Post by RoadRunner on Feb 20, 2014 6:10:54 GMT -5
Hi Ponygirl
"don't fret over it, don't ebay it, don't garage-sale it, don't craig's list it...it's just not WORTH IT. Get it out and gone, the faster the better." -- I hope you do not mind but I am going to add you statement above to my quotes. In the next two weeks I will begin working in my garage. My garage has become the recipient of all the clutter that was in the house that I could not get rid of (plus other clutter that was already in there). I really need to focus on getting it out and not the "sunk cost" or the possible potential value if I can find the time to e-bay, yard sale ect. It is time to live life with out clutter hanging over my head. This will be my motto ONWARD to a clutter free life -- "don't fret over it, don't ebay it, don't garage-sale it, don't craig's list it...it's just not WORTH IT. Get it out and gone, the faster the better."
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 20, 2014 16:06:36 GMT -5
Hi Ponygirl "don't fret over it, don't ebay it, don't garage-sale it, don't craig's list it...it's just not WORTH IT. Get it out and gone, the faster the better." -- I hope you do not mind but I am going to add you statement above to my quotes. In the next two weeks I will begin working in my garage. My garage has become the recipient of all the clutter that was in the house that I could not get rid of (plus other clutter that was already in there). I really need to focus on getting it out and not the "sunk cost" or the possible potential value if I can find the time to e-bay, yard sale ect. It is time to live life with out clutter hanging over my head. This will be my motto ONWARD to a clutter free life -- "don't fret over it, don't ebay it, don't garage-sale it, don't craig's list it...it's just not WORTH IT. Get it out and gone, the faster the better." Roadrunner, please use it with my blessing! I'm honored. Yeah. For a couple of years...between the time I joined here...and up until a couple of months ago...I kept teasing myself with the idea of having some sort of garage sale. But, that would be impossible for me to do and my TIME is not worth the return! Finally, finally...I realized (after getting to the nirvana mental state of not worrying about any of that) that the best thing to do...the ONLY thing to do...is to 'make a clean kill'...and start disposing of things as fast as is humanly possible. I've learned that there is no better time...there is no 'maybe I'll get to it later'. (No; no, you won't. Trust me...you won't.) It's going to take me a year or more...at the small amount of time I can devote to this...to maybe get to a semi-maintenance point. I'm not worried about that, though. The important thing is getting to the realization point that what I've been doing to myself (cluttering up my world) is not a good place to be. I really hate that we all suffer from various stages of this. It's a real b*tch, isn't it?! One suggestion I would like to make to everyone is this....and this is nothing new, many have said it before, both professionals and those of us on SooS...do not, I repeat, do not purchase any 'containers' or anything like it to 'keep' or 'save' anything. Once you get through the rough sorting and disposing...there will be much, much less than you realize left to actually store and keep. All you need at this point is bags and boxes to REMOVE things (and burn bags/boxes if you have the luxury like I do to do that). I highly recommend burning. It's almost ceremonial. This is also a fine way to dispose of those sentimental things that you decide not to keep. Let them go with some flair...or should I say, flame, . Give them an honorary pyre. It will do your heart good. I note also that I'm nowhere near any place close to a fine sort...or filing...or anything of that nature. My focus is on paper now. I've created three boxes which I've labeled Financial, Personal, and Professional...anything that I find that falls into those three broad categories - and that I must keep, emphasis on must - is going into one of those three boxes. Then, as needed, I've also labeled several large envelopes with years for anything that falls into tax documents that must be kept which I didn't already have filed with tax returns. These could also go into the Financial box for now; but, I'm saving some time with this extra step in my rough decluttering. Then, I have two more envelopes: One labeled Contact Info (for addresses, business cards, any contact info that needs to be saved) and one labeled Immediate Action (for bills to be paid, phone calls to make, or things to be answered in any way). This is addressing my rough paper sorting, of course; but, you could also apply the same rough box sort to larger items if that is what you're working on...and label them for Holiday, Crafts, Sporting Goods, Memorabilia, Pet Supplies...whatever you need. My emphasis is on the 'getting out' and not the 'saving'. I simply must get leaner and lighter. There is no other way. And, you have to 'plug the leak'. Don't bring anything new into the situation. Don't shop. No retail therapy (yes, I've been guilty of this in the past...no more). No bringing home 'freebies' of any sort. Nothing is free. It all costs you...in MORE CLUTTER. Just say no. Don't let anyone give you anything you don't absolutely need for survival. Remember, we are at war here. We're in battle with our psyches. We must prevail. I hope to get back to burning more paper this weekend. I partially filled a bag this morning while drinking my tea. I think I'm really going to make it. xoxoxo, Pony
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 20, 2014 16:27:28 GMT -5
One more revelation that I would like to mention: In my old mental state, I would constantly be thinking in terms of 'gee, I need to store/save that...I might get to work on that ______, next year...or, give it to ______ when I see them again' or whatever my excuse was to NOT toss something, and to keep it.
Now I say to myself...'ahhhh...am I really going to use this SOON?' Most of the time, my answer is no. And at this stage I'm in...the answer is always no. As I said, I have no regrets over anything I've burned or disposed. Not. One. Item.
The danger word is STORE. That should be your trigger. If you need to STORE something, that means you're NOT USING it, and chances are, the 'thing' is not bringing any meaning or love into your life. Now, I don't mean you need to throw out something you will use that is seasonal (winter clothes/holiday décor), but I strongly encourage you to MOVE OUT the 'what ifs'. There will be no what if time. There will be no later. I will die before I'll use most of this stuff I've accumulated. Truly.
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 20, 2014 16:31:27 GMT -5
I also want to add that my sweetie is taking notice of my ACTION. He has taken some action of his own...he had someone pick up some large items on Tuesday that had been cluttering our barn yard. Small gains. And all I had to do was to do something on my part. Quietly. Stealth is my friend, !
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Post by RoadRunner on Feb 20, 2014 19:03:29 GMT -5
Awesome ponygirl you are so inspiring me to hit my garage this weekend.
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Post by Arid on Feb 20, 2014 20:26:36 GMT -5
This is a *VERY* inspiring thread, ponygirl!
I, too, have made some "mental" changes that are making it a bit easier for me to deal with my "clutter." I'm convinced that I'm making progress, even if it is only a quarter inch at a time!!
Arid
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 21, 2014 13:49:44 GMT -5
Awesome, Roadrunner and Arid! I wholeheartedly agree...a quarter of an inch is progress!!! Anything OUT is getting us to a better state of life. I've been stagnating for years...Nay!...DECADES! If I had only come to this realization...this mental clarity...sooner, oh, the possibilities... Well, not to fret over that. What's done is done. Roadrunner, even if you just LOOK into that garage...and give it the ol' evil eyeball...you will be in a state of progress! Yep...I also believe that making a ...what I like to call... 'scouting' run over an area...maybe even more than once...gives me a chance to make mental plans...get ready to begin the hunt...go for the kill! It's working for me. I hope that this thread will spur us on to greater progress...no matter how small...even if it is simply MENTAL progress. Action cannot happen until we come to the mental realization that clutter/stuff/hoarding is killing our spirits. Let's get it out...get it gone...anyway that we can. I filled up that burn sack last night that I started yesterday morning...and burned it this morning before doing the barn chores. Gosh, I can't begin to tell you how GOOD it feels to see more stuff LEAVING my house! It's cathartic and makes me so happy! This was a 30# dry cat food bag. I also use horse feed bags. These are sturdy and I can really fill them up...and burn the whole kit and kaboodle...sack and all! (Excuse the pun, those who know cat food brands, hahaha!) It was actually a Meow Mix bag, ! See, that is what I want to emphasize...we have to get to the mental state of being fed up with our behavior...and that...that will get us on to action! If it's just one thing...or a hundred things...you move out in a day...wow, just wow...you won't turn back. Carry on, everyone!
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 21, 2014 13:57:35 GMT -5
I have this recliner...it's my chair. And it's full of stuff. Clothes. Papers. On my scouting run this morning, I lifted some of it up (oh, yeah...it's that bad) to see what was under there...and I swear, I saw papers dated '2009'. Makes sense. I probably started piling that chair up while doing my '09 taxes - my Mom was diagnosed with cancer that spring. I joined SooS in fall of '09. Well, my sweet friends...I'm going to 'hunt' that chair down this weekend. I may not get it all finished in one swoop...but, by geez, I'm going to begin an attack. Most of it will go to burn pile, no doubt. Some will need to go in '09 envelope to keep for tax records. I'll bet there is some '10 stuff in there, too...and Christmas cards, all kinds of paper stuff. Then, the clothes are on top. And there is a lot of dust. A lot. That is my mental plan for the weekend.
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 21, 2014 14:04:48 GMT -5
Gee...that's sad, really...I haven't been able to sit in my chair for 5 freakin' years. I'm going to fix that. I'm Ponygirl...and I'm a hoarder. I'm a piler. A saver. A perfectionist. A procrastinator. A loving, caring person. And I'm in a state of change... It may take me a long time to get better...but, I will.
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 21, 2014 14:06:20 GMT -5
...and I have so many spiders...and they've been 'with' me for so long...that we're on a first-name basis, !
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Post by Arid on Feb 21, 2014 15:12:16 GMT -5
A mere 5 years, pony? That's nothin'. Try 18+ . . .!
Arid
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 21, 2014 15:24:10 GMT -5
Well, that's just this one chair, haha! My whole place has been in a steady state of accumulation for, oh...close to 26 years. That is around the time I can best recall that everything started going downhill for me....and the stress and other related complications became overwhelming. I've had many triggers, and I've always been a saver...going back to childhood (but that is way-too-complex to even begin talking about)...but, around '89 or so, when I was in a high-stress job, in a new marriage (not too far from a divorce from the first one...and not too far from my daughter being killed), suffered a broken back, trying to maintain a ranch/business...and my Daddy being diagnosed with terminal cancer...well, you get the drift. I tell y'all, I really don't know how I've managed to still be here. But, I'm going to be okay. I'm determined to get myself in some state of 'order'. I want to prove to myself that I can do it...that I'm 'recoverable'. I also want to give my sweetie absolutely nothing to complain about. Hehheh... (Then, he can focus on himself and what he needs to tackle...)
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Post by ponygirl on Feb 21, 2014 17:38:31 GMT -5
I wanted to add some clarification to my comment about my 'sweetie' in my last post. Oh, yes, he's a great guy (but a little on the grumpy side). Thing is, he doesn't think I can...or will...'do' this. Yep; I've made promises to change in the past...and didn't follow through. I really should say that I couldn't follow through. I definitely have been paralyzed by it all. Overwhelmed? Completely. I have to agree that most of the clutter is mine...a good 2/3 of it for sure. The rest, though, is his. He won't admit it. So, in order to get it completely done, I know I have to be the one to forge ahead and get 'there' first (whatever there will end up being for me...before I kick the bucket). As I said, I know he doesn't believe me even though he sees me making small gains. I know that is why he had the items picked up this week outside (and those were only a couple of things in the mass of outdoor clutter in the barn area/his work area/sheds/etc.).
I'm determined to prove him wrong.
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Post by Arid on Feb 21, 2014 19:42:56 GMT -5
Yes, pony; my home qualifies as an "archeological dig," too. So does my sister's.
She called me one day to ask, "What happened in 2009?" She was dealing with mail (junk--and otherwise!), and she found a whole pile/stack of things all dating to 2009. I went back to my old e-mails (yes; I "hoard" those, too!), and I was able to remind ourselves what the "crisis du jour" was in 2009.
Whenever I run across a lot of junk mail, magazines, letters, cards, etc. from a given time period, it usually follows that there was something "big" going on in our lives during that time period. Whatever the "crisis" was took priority over dealing with those items at the time.
Anyway, *I* am sure that you are going to be successful. In fact, you already are!! You've made a good deal of progress lately. Now, it's just a matter of continuing . . .
Best wishes,
Arid
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