|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 22, 2014 20:11:57 GMT -5
Yes, pony; my home qualifies as an "archeological dig," too. So does my sister's. She called me one day to ask, "What happened in 2009?" She was dealing with mail (junk--and otherwise!), and she found a whole pile/stack of things all dating to 2009. I went back to my old e-mails (yes; I "hoard" those, too!), and I was able to remind ourselves what the "crisis du jour" was in 2009. Whenever I run across a lot of junk mail, magazines, letters, cards, etc. from a given time period, it usually follows that there was something "big" going on in our lives during that time period. Whatever the "crisis" was took priority over dealing with those items at the time. Anyway, *I* am sure that you are going to be successful. In fact, you already are!! You've made a good deal of progress lately. Now, it's just a matter of continuing . . . Best wishes, Arid Arid, That is exactly how it is! An archeological dig. You are right; those masses of papers...all from a single year(s) all piled together or nearly together...indicates a crisis. Thank you so much for the encouragement. You're also correct about my needing to continue. I find that a larger block of time (at least 30 min. to an hour) is where I make the most difference. I can't do that most days because of my day job and the work on the farm; but, on days I can't...I do what I can, even if it's only mental planning. Today, I filled two 50# horse feed sacks to burn...all paper items. I filled them in less than an hour. That is huge for me. Once again, I can't remember most of what went into those bags. I knew it would be that way, but it is amazing to me, nonetheless. I didn't need any of it. So, no regrets. Here is an important revelation, and, I'm speaking for myself only, but I believe it would apply to most of us hoarders (whatever 'level' one may be): The main issue causing my problem with clutter is INDECISION...the simple inability to make decisions, choices, et al. I had to get to the 'turning a corner' point, mentally, in order to move forward. I've had great intentions...hence, my willingness to lurk, then join this forum...but, even after being here for years, it is only in the past six months that I 'feel' the change in my thinking...my mental WILLINGNESS to BEGIN to MAKE DECISIONS relative to all this stuff. All these piles. All this procrastination. I tell ya...and this is no cliché`...if I can do it, anyone can. I have no doubt. I'm sending many good wishes and good thoughts back to each and every one of you that you can reach a point of mental acceptance that action is necessary to make a change. We must be willing to do it....to change ourselves...in order to change our environments. I can assure you...I have a LONG way to go...but, I've BEGUN. Love to all, Pony
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 22, 2014 20:23:04 GMT -5
One more thing before I have to go tonight...and this is another important realization: I can't be afraid to change my plans. See, I mentioned the attack on my recliner as my intention for this weekend? Well, that project would have been a wee bit too overwhelming for me in the time I had to devote to decluttering today...so...I adjusted my plans and instead, I attacked some stacks and piles that are in my hallway. I made a huge dent in them and filled those two bags. I believe that my change of plan resulted in being successful instead of being 'paralyzed'...which would have resulted in my doing nothing instead of something.
Something is ALWAYS better than nothing.
In the recent past, I would have shrugged it ALL off and turned to a more pleasurable chore or activity instead of facing my issue with all this stuff, and my indecision. Today I decided to do something. It's a lot of work, but wow, does it feel good to be getting STUFF OUT OF MY HOUSE.
|
|
polishrose
New Member
Joined: February 2014
Posts: 74
|
Post by polishrose on Feb 23, 2014 8:05:58 GMT -5
I can relate to the indecision-I suffer with that a lot myself.
|
|
|
Post by sue5000 on Feb 23, 2014 9:04:58 GMT -5
I love this thread! Pony, an archaeological dig is the perfect term to describe my digging out, too! I started digging about 4 years ago. I had about 22 boxes and bags of "old papers." I couldn't just burn/recycle them because I just KNEW there were 'important' things mixed in. And I was right. I have found lost SS cards, library cards, old love letters, birth certificates, immunization records, old photographs..... I'm still hoping my car title will soon rear its head! I can't BELIEVE all the paper that I had saved!! Well, I didn't consciously 'save' it, I just had never got rid of it! I've found receipts dating back to 1988. I still have ALL my check stubs and income tax returns going back to my 1st job at age 16!! That's 40 YEARS!! Those will be sorted through, and most of them burned. It's interesting though, to see that at one time I was making a whole 65c an hour. !! It feels Sooooooooo GOOD every time I put out a tightly-packed big grocery bag full of paper on trash day!! We have curbside pick up for trash and recycling. I always watch out my window to get the THRILL of seeing all that paper leaving my property!! When I first started paper sorting, I quickly sort into boxes and bags labeled with different categories: House. Auto. Health. Family. Income tax. Banking. Photographs. Recycle. Burn. Now I'm going through all those boxes/ bags again, and still getting rid of more paper. It feels like some days I'm more sentimental and some days I'm more ruthless. I've turned a corner, too, and it's inspiring! I'm down to 3 boxes now. And a 2-drawer file cabinet full. Keep up the good work, Pony! Someday we will be DONE!!!!
|
|
|
Post by dtesposito on Feb 23, 2014 10:00:17 GMT -5
It feels like some days I'm more sentimental and some days I'm more ruthless. That's for sure! And it helps to sort right after something happens that makes you sick of having stuff everywhere. I remember that one of my very first good days getting rid of junk many years ago was after I tripped over a box and scraped my elbow really badly. I was so annoyed I started throwing stuff out! Ponygirl, I'm enjoying this thread also--I can feel the liberation in your posts! You have moved past the "contemplation" and "planning" steps to "ACTION"! Diane
|
|
|
Post by breakingfree on Feb 23, 2014 17:53:55 GMT -5
Ponygirl!!! I so GET it. I'm by no means any sort of expert, far from it. Yet one thing I've found is that change starts with a thought. Thoughts are powerful. From Steve Jobs to Bill Gates to Steve and Bill Jones, an idea, a realization, followed by action, small action, begins the chain of events that start the catalyst to change and accomplishments. , try saying THAT statement three times! ;-) I'm posting from my phone and it took me ten minutes to type it! You are so much like me...tell me I can't do it! You can, hun, you can. Big, huge, encouraging hugs, Breaking Free
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 24, 2014 0:33:07 GMT -5
Oh, my gosh...I LOVE your comments! Thanks, everyone! Keep posting! We'll help each other through this. WE CAN DO IT. I don't usually get online this late at night, especially on a Sunday night...but, I HAD to tell you that I had another huge day of success today! I was indeed RUTHLESS! You wouldn't believe how much I got OUT...four large bags of burnable (and all already burned!) ...and... Monday is my garbage day...so, I dove into my bathroom and nearby hallway area (still working on it, but got ALL the burnable out of the hallway today!!! Woohoo!). I filled SIX of those plastic grocery type bags with non-burnable items out of my bathroom. Can you believe it?! Bottles, jars, tubes...of all kinds of toiletries/makeup/lotions/moisturizers/sunscreens/colognes/etc....all out-of-date, not being used, or simply 'didn't like bad purchases' that I had STORED (that is the key word to clutter). I also tossed: A curling iron, a curling brush, a crimper (gosh, I still had THAT from the 80s...and I prefer my hair straight...what WAS I thinking??), and two sets of electric curlers (ditto...what WAS I thinking?). All of this is now in a huge garbage bag and will go out to for pickup at first light tomorrow. Y'all, I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!! It was an awful weather day...rain...so I made the most of it. My sweetie was so thrilled he must have told me four times that 'You are doing so good!'. He even brought me something to drink and some chocolate chip cookies for a little pick-me-up as I was working...and he carried all the burn bags outside and got them GONE! I usually like doing the burning myself, but I let him have some of the 'FUN'!! Oh, and almost forgot to tell you...I believe I have almost completely eliminated my hoard of old magazines with this bug push this weekend. I'm sure I'll find dozens more in some of these stacks and piles still around (and I have plenty of stacks and piles still around, )...but most mags are gone! And, listen to this...I burned four stuffed animals that I've had since my sweetie and I have been together. He gave me three little teddy bears...and they've ended up just being shuffled around and gathering dust...when I found them on top of some of the stuff in the hallway...I asked him if he thought I should keep them, and he said, 'well, it's up to you...but it sure would take a lot of time to just dust and clean them...can you let them go?' And, I did. I also let go of a stuffed panda that a former work colleague had given to me after winning it in a claw machine at our workplace (there were several of those game machines in the vestibule of the big box store I was managing at the time - this was circa 1989). The panda went out with the teddy bears. Just a few short weeks ago, I couldn't have done any of this. I wasn't mentally ready. It's amazing when you make up your mind, really make up your mind, to make some decisions and move forward to a new life. Change is sometimes really, really good. I haven't been this happy in years. Of course, this is only the beginning...I have rooms, yeah rooms, that I can't even walk into...they are full...of stuff. And, I have stacks in all the usuable rooms...and dirt and dust, around everything...you know what I mean. I've just kept and stored pretty much everything over the past 30 years or so. All of this is evidence of not being able to make decisions.... I know I want to tell you so much more...but, I'm tired, and need to turn in. Have to go to work tomorrow. Please keep posting your thoughts, your progress, your failures...we're all in this together. Let's use this thread to forge ahead and make some progress! Thanks so much, your hugs and encouragement are HUGE. Love to all of you, Pony
|
|
|
Post by imamess on Feb 24, 2014 4:03:53 GMT -5
Pony I just want to hug you! You are doing great. I've been in an awful slump this winter, but just reading this inspires me a lot. Paper and fabric are my worst things to store. A few years ago I got rid of almost 30 years worth of magazines. I still have about 30, but I had 4 stacks 6 feet tall and I rarely buy one now. Somehow they just don't interest me anymore.
Keep on Burning, Baby!
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 24, 2014 12:19:52 GMT -5
Pony I just want to hug you! You are doing great. I've been in an awful slump this winter, but just reading this inspires me a lot. Paper and fabric are my worst things to store. A few years ago I got rid of almost 30 years worth of magazines. I still have about 30, but I had 4 stacks 6 feet tall and I rarely buy one now. Somehow they just don't interest me anymore. Keep on Burning, Baby! Imamess! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Maybe you'll make a decision to tackle those other magazines soon. And the fabric. When I first joined SooS, I had 30+ years of magazines stored...I called them my 'archives'. Most of them were equine-related and specific to the breed we were raising, training, and showing. (but I had plenty of other subject mags, too...and that is what I'm dealing with now.) I thought I needed them. I agonized over moving them out. I ended up selling a few that were really old, and somewhat collectible to breeders who were seeking rare photos and pedigree info...some I brought to an event and placed them out for others to pick up (I now call that 'junk transfusion', hahaha!)...in fact, I even started a thread here in General about that ('Magazines, Anyone?!')...it was such a tough decision. Now, I'm burning those suckers with wild abandon! I'm completely amazed at my self-transformation. It's as if another person has invaded my psyche`! What I finally...finally, realized...is that most...if not all...of what I was storing was either 1) Things that I didn't really like anyway; and/or, 2) Things that I would never get around to rereading or using ever again. I was simply procrastinating the inevitable. Most of the indecision was fear of making a decision. Wow, that bears repeating: MOST OF THE INDECISION WAS FEAR OF MAKING A DECISION. I'm really happy that this is inspiring others! Oh, yeah, burn baby, burn! It's so cathartic! And final. I feel somewhat sheepish in proffering advice - since I'm in such a state of mess and clutter myself, - however, I can say without reservation that we have to get past the stage of thinking about it...to doing something about it. As I mentioned, if a committed saver such as myself can get there, I know anyone can! I was listening to the radio on the way to work today...and heard the Wilson Phillips song 'Hold On'. There is a line in that song that goes, 'No one can change your life except yourself.' How flippin' true is that??!! I forgot to mention that I did all of that yesterday in approximately four hours. That was a huge block of time; but, it really made a difference that is visible. What I'm really happy about is the two bathroom shelves, the sink counter, the toilet tank lid (another flat surface...and, trust me, all of my flat surfaces are filled...argh) and the undercabinet areas have all been sorted out and I know exactly what is in there now. The counter only has a bar of soap in a dish. The toilet tank lid is empty. I cleaned it, too. I can't remember the last time any of those surfaces were empty. All of what is left are items that we actually use. I have open space on those shelves and in that cabinet, too! That is foreign territory for sure! The medicine cabinet is all my sweetie's stuff...so he gets to do that. Hehheh...
|
|
|
Post by angela on Feb 24, 2014 14:32:06 GMT -5
And, listen to this...I burned four stuffed animals that I've had since my sweetie and I have been together. He gave me three little teddy bears...and they've ended up just being shuffled around and gathering dust...when I found them on top of some of the stuff in the hallway...I asked him if he thought I should keep them, and he said, 'well, it's up to you...but it sure would take a lot of time to just dust and clean them...can you let them go?' And, I did. I also let go of a stuffed panda that a former work colleague had given to me after winning it in a claw machine at our workplace (there were several of those game machines in the vestibule of the big box store I was managing at the time - this was circa 1989). The panda went out with the teddy bears. I won't lie, this makes me a little queasy! But I really can understand that mind shift. Some days, I am so close I can feel it, but most days yet, I slide puzzle, or carefully, thoughtfully, decluttering to just the perfect home! Why it's taking me forever! I do relate to not even REMEMBERING what I let go of...I hold on to this knowledge when I'm in the middle of the anticipatory anxiety. Most of the time, the build-up to the letting go is far worse than the actual letting go! Thanks for posting all this Ponygirl. You have inspired me!
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 24, 2014 15:02:01 GMT -5
And, listen to this...I burned four stuffed animals that I've had since my sweetie and I have been together. He gave me three little teddy bears...and they've ended up just being shuffled around and gathering dust...when I found them on top of some of the stuff in the hallway...I asked him if he thought I should keep them, and he said, 'well, it's up to you...but it sure would take a lot of time to just dust and clean them...can you let them go?' And, I did. I also let go of a stuffed panda that a former work colleague had given to me after winning it in a claw machine at our workplace (there were several of those game machines in the vestibule of the big box store I was managing at the time - this was circa 1989). The panda went out with the teddy bears. I won't lie, this makes me a little queasy! But I really can understand that mind shift. Some days, I am so close I can feel it, but most days yet, I slide puzzle, or carefully, thoughtfully, decluttering to just the perfect home! Why it's taking me forever! I do relate to not even REMEMBERING what I let go of...I hold on to this knowledge when I'm in the middle of the anticipatory anxiety. Most of the time, the build-up to the letting go is far worse than the actual letting go! Thanks for posting all this Ponygirl. You have inspired me! Angela...it's all made me queasy, too. I understand. It's painful. That's one of the reasons I started writing some detail...to encourage everyone that it is possible to discard items that hold a lot of memory. In the past, I would have written most on my blog; but, I believe that by placing it in general, it might help a lurker or a member who doesn't read blogs. I know how it feels...the paralysis...the fear...the sick feeling. I held those bears and panda for a long time (well, if five minutes is long...) before I placed them (lovingly, not just chunking them) into the burn bag. I toyed with the idea of taking some photos of them...but, then, I decided not to. After all, I have the memory...and I have my sweetie, and that is all I need. I burned this bag myself. I watched them go to ashes. It was okay. I can't believe I'm actually doing all of this. It's difficult, but with each session, it's getting easier. I must add a caveat: Those teddy bears and panda bear were the most difficult items that I've burned/discarded so far. See, I'm not really diving into any sentimental things...or memorabilia...all that will rear it's head soon enough to challenge me. I'm trying to get the 'easy pickings' first...just to get my appetite whet for hitting the more challenging fronts that lie ahead. Trust me when I say...this has not been easy for me. I had to DECIDE to change. It doesn't just magically happen. For certain, it builds... the disgusted feeling looking around at my place...not knowing where 'all' of 'it' is...or what exactly 'it' is that is IN all the piles...the inability to do other things, for I'm imprisoned by my clutter...I've been afraid to make plans, to do anything because of the guilt involved in 'tending' to all this clutter...all this stuff. The mental tending...that is what is killing all of us. Finally, I said to myself that I have had enough. I have to do it now. I have to. If I don't do it, who will? (A dumpster when I die would be the result...) I was the one who created all this chaos...all this indecision....the one who bought the same shirt in four colors because I couldn't choose my favorite color...the one who saves everything, just in case I might need it someday (and that someday is never coming)...not wanting to face the 'perceived regret' of discarding something that I might rue later (that won't happen; just get it out)...and I will have to be the one to correct my situation. I want a fresh start and I want to know what I have, and where it is, and that I don't have anything that I really don't need...or want. That now, is motivating me more than keeping all these rooms of stuff. I can't wait to see what I really have in all those stacks. You are right...the actual letting go is the easy part...the decision is the difficult part. It will get easier. I want to change, so I must begin. I'm kinda jumping all around in my method, but it's working, so I'm just going with my instincts as far as what I do and when I do it. I'm glad to know that it's inspiring so many. I wish I had more time to write more detail. I 'll try. I want to keep this thread going through my entire journey. Hmmm...this thread may be here a while...
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 24, 2014 15:11:34 GMT -5
No one is more surprised than me...that I'm doing this...doing things I haven't been able to do in many, many years.
|
|
|
Post by Serendipity on Feb 24, 2014 21:59:47 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 25, 2014 17:19:59 GMT -5
Serendipity, thank you so much....and for following my journey. I hope you, indeed, 'join with', and we can work through all this to a better - lighter - life. I understand completely about your thoughts. I think about death, too. You're right, the only things certain are death and taxes! Everything else is pretty much left up to us, isn't it?! See, what you said...about having to deal with the emotional upheaval of a family death...and possessions of the deceased...well, I'm dealing with that, too...from my Mom. (She died of complications with cancer in '10...I have more on my blog related to that...in fact, that is when I joined SooS...when she was in treatment...and I started my blog after her death). Mom was a saver, too. She still had most of my Dad's things (he also died from cancer...it is all so tragic) and so, we (me/my sibs) have to sort through all their things. (My sibs are not nearly as bad as me...savers/hoarders...I am the one who suffers most...I am most like my Mom, but mine is in disarray...hers is at least in some semblance of stacking order.) So...here I am...in the midst of all my 'stuff'...and bringing more stuff home from my Mom's...and there is so much more to go through...we've barely started there...and I knew I had to do something. So, finally, I came to some degree of mental clarity over it all...and have begun to take action on my stuff first. It's a start. If I can assure you of one thing...if you can get started...no matter how small...and keep at it...you will feel that lightness begin. I promise. I'm feeling it already and I'm just getting a good start on it. I have no regrets, whatsoever, about anything that I've burned, placed in the trash, or donated. And, as I mentioned, I'm worrying less and less about the donating part. The main goal is to get it OUT. The faster the better. Yes, it's painful. But, it does get easier and easier. You will get faster...and more ruthless...as you progress. I'm pulling for you and we can do this. Keep posting and we'll progress!
|
|
|
Post by ponygirl on Feb 25, 2014 17:29:13 GMT -5
Making decisions is key - and critical - to getting out of this clutter problem.
I'm learning that as I look at each item...I ask myself:
Do I need this? Do I want this? Is this going to bring more quality to my life? Do I love it?
There are only two possible answers to each question...yes...or no.
There is no maybe.
I've done all this in the past, start looking at an item, and ask the questions...but I wasn't mentally ready to do any of it. I wasn't making any attempt to really address the situation. I avoided the MENTAL PAIN AND EMOTIONAL HARD WORK of making ANY decision over any of it.
I had to DECIDE that I wasn't WILLING (and that is what it is -- we're letting ourselves be WILLING to live like this) to go on being surrounded by mountains of THINGS.
Sure; I'm going to need that 'Emotional Withdrawal' box to place some of the sentimental items into until I make the 'yes' or 'no' decision. But, I'm going to have to make that decision eventually about each and every item in my place.
The plush bears were the first to be placed 'on trial' and I made my decision right then and there. No appeals (emotional withdrawal box). No 'maybe'. I just did it. And, I'm glad I did. I'm no longer worrying about four dusty bears not having a 'home' and I didn't need them. I wasn't concerned with 'rehoming' them. Shoot, I was content with them languishing on top of a pile of clutter in my hallway, for goodness sakes! If I was worried about them, well, it sure didn't appear so! I must have been contented with them sitting there for, oh, probably four or five years. That wasn't very respectful for the little bears. They are in a better place now. I'm very happy with my decision. No regrets.
I'm really happy about my bathroom progress. I still have one shelf to go...and it's supposed to hold towels. Guess what's in there right now? Some of my favorite clothes. And, do you know why they're all stacked on the towel shelf? Because, my chest of drawers is STUFFED AND COMPLETELY CLUTTERED with things I either DON'T WANT or DON'T NEED. That's just plain stupid, isn't it?! And who DID this to my place?! Me. Only me.
I'm responsible for the situation I've placed myself into. The situation I've let myself live with for far too many years. Dang it...towels should be on that shelf! Where ARE my towels? Well, they're piled up in a basket...and some are piled on top of the dryer. That's really stupid, too. I'm so angry with myself.
It's going to take me a long time to get this 'fixed'. I'm determined to do it.
I got through a stack of paper clutter last night. I'm going to have to pause for a week or so soon to finish my tax prep. Then, I'll hit it hard again.
I'm finally making the right decisions. The only person who can change my life is me.
|
|