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Post by creativechaos on Mar 17, 2014 0:42:54 GMT -5
Puppybox started a non-buying thread, which is wonderful. Here is the link to Puppybox's Not Buying in 2014 thread: takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/23436/buying-update-page3-small-epiphanyPuppy's thread got me thinking about acquisitions, which, as a hoarder, have presented serious problems for me. I wanted to join in on her thread, but since I am dealing with HOARDING type of acquiring and accountability in keeping track of my acquisitions, I thought it best to start a separate thread. All are welcome to participate however they wish (incl. lurking. ) Use this thread however is helpful to you. There are no rules. If you think you might belong here, you belong. Successes in non-acquiring, successes in acquiring what you need or want and releasing what no longer fits your life are also welcome here. In case you're wondering, this started out as a weekly log, but it seemed simpler to finally make it an ongoing thread.
This is an ongoing log of acquisitions and successes or failures in non-acquiring.Why do this thread? ~ I spend way beyond what is necessary - not just money, but TIME *spent* thinking about buying, online 'window shopping' and acquiring, and the 'hunt for stuff.' Also, more TIME is *spent* looking for what i already have and buying doubles because i don't know where something is! ~ *Thoughts* around 'getting' are really skewed and often feel addictive - shopping, buying, and acquiring can substitute for trying to fill a void inside by spending money & time, acquiring things, even eating too much or sleeping too much or too little. Spending/acquiring can also be an avoidance or resistance to things that need doing or that we want to do, but they're scary. (all of which ultimately make a person feel low self esteem and and unwell, health-wise.)What this thread IS: ~ A place to list things bought, or acquired for free ~ A place to try to determine wants from needs, what i will use from what i won't; to distinguish what i LOVE from what i feel i *should* love. ~ A place to see it honestly, without lying to myself or others ~ A place where other hoarders and/or over-spenders may benefit - please join in if you wish, however you wish!What this thread ISN'T: ~ A place to request an intervention or a forum for hard truths and tough love ~ A place to beat up on oneself or anyone elseWeaknesses/temptations/ non-essential things that grab us; some are impulse buys, some we love and/or will likely USE: Present and Future Needs or "planned" wants:" ie thought-out, planned - not impulse buys (there has to be a good reason or justification)Bought/Acquired:Successes: What I learned: Insights, What i can do or think differently next time?
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Post by puppybox on Mar 17, 2014 9:50:50 GMT -5
I'm proud of myself that I didn't take the free spinning wheel put out by someone who is obviously clearing out their basement/attic/garage and has a dumpster, they put a free old/antique rocking chair and spinning wheel out on the curb for whoever wanted them. OMG spinning wheels have been appearing in everything I read lately and I want to try it!
The spinning wheel was all coming apart, nothing broken but you know when old wood furniture dries up and all the connect pole bits come out of each other. I stood there talking to myself saying "you don't know how to fix this, you will never learn to know how to fix this, and even if you learn how you will never actually fix this, you just threw out a chair that had similar problems you didn't fix for months and months and have had to throw out other pieces of furniture you saved in past because you never fixed them" until I could leave. The rocking chair was fab but gooddog is terrified of furniture that moves so that was enough motivation not to take that.
im responding to what creativechaos wrote in the previous week's thread: I'm guilty of buying nice dishes for my dogs to eat out of too. now, go and throw away the chipped ones. now. go do it. they cannot stay. This is how you win. chipped ones out, they have been replaced. gone. byebye. Out out out. creative chaos. this means you.
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Post by angela on Mar 17, 2014 12:11:51 GMT -5
Puppybox, you told the truth and were able to make a good decision and walk away.
I do something similar now too...when I get all high on fantasy thinking I say to myself, "now tell the truth kiddo..what are you going to change in your day to day life so you can do/use/make this thing." Helps me walk away.
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Post by bluefrog on Mar 18, 2014 9:38:08 GMT -5
Good for you, puppybox! If you can't re-glue it and use it, anything you bring in that's in danger of falling apart is just going to take up space and make faces at you every time you look at it. Me, I was looking for free Kindle books on Amazon (I do know better, still have a bunch I haven't read, etc., etc., etc.)when I found Agatha Christie's _A Murder is Announced_ for $1.99US instead of the usual $6.99. I'm very much a Miss Marple fan, so I bought it, consoling myself with the idea that it was a big bargain. I shouldn't have bought it, but I will enjoy it.
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Post by Layla on Mar 18, 2014 17:57:50 GMT -5
Hello, Bought two books on Amazon today, used ones to save $$, both are health topics books. I dont have an issue hoarding books anymore, most I just resell or get rid of after reading, I keep some but only about 1 shelf worth and some on my night stand. I am supposed to go see 2 end tables on thursday from an ad, I bargained them down, items to repaint and resell. And there is 20% off on thursday at the store I sell at, been eyeballing 2 end tables there to redo also for almost a month now, but waiting till sale day to see if I pull the trigger and buy them. Otherwise just bought some joint stuff for our doggie, which was needed and a cupcake.
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Post by puppybox on Mar 18, 2014 19:13:53 GMT -5
joint stuff... cupcake... sounds like doggie is getting medical marijuana.
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Post by Layla on Mar 18, 2014 19:36:29 GMT -5
, Cupcake for Me, joint powder to put in her food.
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Post by Ally on Mar 19, 2014 10:27:51 GMT -5
I quit posting on these threads back in January because I haven't been doing too well. I go through a few weeks when I'm too busy and tired to shop, but once in a while I go on a binge. Back in January or February I bought yarn, which is on my list of STUFF NOT TO BUY. I also bought a few books on how to knit socks, because the books have photos of cool looking socks on the covers, and I succumbed. Last evening I went into Target to buy a new pair of running pants, a tube of glue, a DVD, some facial cleanser and moisturizer. I ended up buying all of that and 2 bras, some tools and about 10 gift bags on clearance sale. The gift bags will be used at work. (I am on a committee that does things to boost morale in the department and we'll be having some parties in the next few weeks.) I really didn't need the tools, and to be honest I was there last week and bought some gift bags on clearance sale then as well. I have more than I need, but will add them to the "stash" at work. What I didn't buy: I was tempted to buy a fitness tracker. One of those little bracelets that you wear as you go about your day, and it calculates how many calories you are burning, how many steps you are taking, etc. I don't need one, but they were tempting me.
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Post by angela on Mar 25, 2014 14:47:12 GMT -5
Acquisitions last week: A super duper score on two plastic drawer units, large size, $10! My yarn that is currently on garbage bags will go in these. I'm excited!
Funny saga of eventual non acquisition; so I wander through Fred Meyer after an appointment and look through their accessories section. Which is a lot of fun, they have everything displayed by color and it's a lot of pretty stuff to look at. I'm tempted to buy something but not really, I'm saying to myself, out of context this stuff is cheap c**p, I don't need it, I can make better, etc. Then something happened...the lady working there came up and talked to me. She said she had a coupon I cod use for an additional 15% off. The switch flipped. I bought a scarf. I took it out to the car. I looked at it and shook my head. It was scratchy and cheap and not needed. I drove home, past another Freddie's and walked in and returned it. Jeez. Lesson, I am a people pleaser and somewhere in my little mind I wanted to buy something because the lady was nice to me. Oh and I bought a book at the library thrift. Sigh. Me and books...
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Post by bluefrog on Mar 25, 2014 19:35:55 GMT -5
This week I bought a new hair dryer, because mine died; a bento box strap, because the one that holds my quilting notions box together disappeared somewhere before, during, or after the last quilt guild meeting; and a 1978 Fitz and Floyd owl mug, just because I love it. Perhaps I shouldn't have bought the mug, but they're pretty thin on the ground because of their age--I've been looking for a while now. So, two necessities and one frivolity. Not too bad, since I will use them all.
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Post by fluffychild on Mar 25, 2014 19:44:44 GMT -5
I did buy some solar flowers that will go outside when it gets warmer. I can't consider that as something coming into the house. My big item this week - a thing call light Angel. It is used in the house- has a motion detector in it and when it is dark and senses motion the light goes on. I am using it on my steps in the front hall. I consider that to be a safety item. I haven't really gone into very many stores lately. I did get in some FlyLady things - rags in a bag, ostrich feather duster and rubba scrubba. Once the income taxes at the accountant then I can use those things.
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 26, 2014 12:05:29 GMT -5
hey, people - i am so sorry i have been AWOL and did not put up a new thread for the week or even get back here to make a report! since the week is already half over, maybe there is no point in doing it so i will change the dates to extend them, and try again sunday - or maybe we can just keep one long log and forget the 'weekly" reposting of the thread. what do you all think of that idea? i would just redo the title and drop the weekly idea. then people can join in or lurk as they want. congratuations to you all on your non buying successes, on your finding things you truly love, on finding things used that will save you money. last week is a blur. i promised myself that i would find my spending log and start using that and did i? no. so that stays on the list until i do. i can't remember the breakdown of days or what i spent. i did acquire some stuff. i got some ribbon trim at the thrift store for a buck, and two plastic folders to hold my wetland papers - one is legal size, which will be handy for all the maps - i had them in my car and a bottle of water leaked all over them. i can't have them ruined - some are important and irreplaceable so i have to take better care of them than that. the folders are box folders about 3" deep, and will hold a lot of papers each. 3 bucks for both. also bought 2 music cds. i also brought home two one dollar books from the library. that's what i acquired last week and this week so far. went to the mainland with the senior van last thursday. went to the fabric store but bought only some D rings and one fat quarter, plus some nylon thread - waaaay expensive for not much. then we went to michaels and i was tempted to buy (but didn't) a whole passel of shoebox sized storage boxes, which would have made storing my notions and mosaic stuff easier. they were on sale for 40% off too. still kicking self but maybe it's for the good. i bought a large pkg of flat back marbles, not needed - a want. i use them in mosaics but i probably have a lifetime supply now. all in all i am pleased with the mainland day - i could have done so much worse. the rest of what i bought was groceries and a few deli meals that were cheap and i was on the run. books are my big weakness too; i keep being in denial that i will actually get around to reading/using them. the truth is, true to hoarder style, i want to "save" them from burning or the trash heap. i love books. so i have a whole small storage unit with probably 20 small boxes of books. and then the book cases here - three of them, chock full. i even have several piles that won't fit in the cases - so there is purging to do. i use the library a lot for reading, but i still buy books i like - mostly used, but i've been known to buy new ones. this is an ongoing struggle for me. i have a grocery bag size of fabric that i am releasing to the senior center for their big annual sale. more to come, when i get my art show hung and can focus on something else besides that. i also have put 4 cds in a bag to go, plus a few other misc things. i have a dilemma. (i too am a people pleaser, Angela). i went to an art show and really loved a piece of art there and told the artist how much i loved the piece (she is a friendly acquaintance). i saw her last week at a funeral and she came bounding up to me, so happy, and said "guess what! when the show comes down i am going to GIVE you that piece!" she seemed so happy and i felt it would insult her to say no! so i am taking on another piece of art i will feel responsible for - and how can i back down now? any ideas? just 'cause i like something doesn't mean i have to own it! how do i explain to her? should i just tell her the truth - that i am a hoarder and would just probably cr@p it up? any suggestions via pm would be welcome. i have got to stop saying YES to these kinds of situations! but this person i do not want to hurt - she is a successful artist who has sold lots in galleries and i really DO love the piece and i am all conflicted about this.i get discouraged often and wonder if this thread is helping, so i know of what you speak, ally, but it is good to have you here. i am going to keep logging on here because occasionally i have some non-buying successes and i hope to build on them - plus, it inspires me to read all of your posts and cheer your successes. here's to owning only what we love - and use!
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Post by angela on Mar 26, 2014 13:28:44 GMT -5
creativechaos thank you for extending this thread. I wouldn't mind it being a continuous thread instead of weekly. That would eliminate one more to-do and therefore potential guilt-inducing item on the list. I have a couple of thoughts for you about what you bought. Now this is ENTIRELY based on my own experience. To start, I would have bought the shoe-box storage (I have a fair handful of these myself) rather than the marbles. I know one of the ideas here on the board is to not buy storage containers, we can't organize our way out of clutter, etc. But good storage containers have done me good in the clutter war. Because I bought the translucent bins, I can see the contents. When I see the contents, I tend to use the contents. Further, my clear bins hold my craft supplies and I KNOW this category of stuff will be the very last thing I sort and release, if I even do release much or any of it. Also, because I can see what I have, I am LESS tempted to buy (not entirely untempted mind you). I think for me, I NEED a certain mass of stuff around, I just do. I need to see my stuff in order to feel like there's enough of it. So as an example, maybe if you see how many marbles you already have and get to that feeling of "enough" then you won't really even want to buy more. Just a thought. As for the art piece, if you love it, great! Can you hang it? Can you put it on an easel? I'm sorry you feel like you would just c**p it up. I'm also sorry you're in conflict about it. Conflicted gifts are the worst.
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Post by irisbloom on Mar 26, 2014 14:52:30 GMT -5
I've done sort of ok. I bought three books but they're for a paper I'm writing this semester on mental illness in literature. I also hit a weight loss milestone (ten pounds down) and fit into these awesome patterned tights I have so I bought a mid length skirt to wear with them. All my other skirts are maxi length. I also recently threw out all my old makeup. It was 6 months to a year old and I hadn't been wearing any. I want to start wearing makeup again so I bought just lipstick and eyeliner to start with.
I'm taking a new approach to giving up smoking. My daughter's therapist suggested I not try to do too much at once and weight loss, plus giving up smoking, plus decluttering/desqualoring may be too much. So instead I'm switching the flavor of my ecig to one that comes in different strengths. My current flavor only has the highest nicotine strength so I'm going to switch then ween myself down using lesser and lesser strength oil instead of going the cold turkey route.
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Post by Layla on Mar 26, 2014 16:44:21 GMT -5
Hey all, Yes I have wondered if the thread is helpful also, like I feel bad coming to post to say I bought something at times.
We are in the real world, and we acquire things. That wont go away and its okay to have some pleasure or buy something silly now and again.
I think what I find most helpful about this is hearing many of you share about a purchase, the why, how and what happened, as it triggers in my head and those stories carry with me.
Like for example if Im thrift shopping its okay to put something in my cart, walk around with it, and put it back. Instead of impulsively feeling I have to grab it before someone else does. Sometimes just walking around a bit makes me rethink some items and I have been putting items back MORE lately since being on the forum.
I did go out shopping yesterday, I went with a plan! It was ME day. I had a gift card from a return at Vict Secret, and it was quite a bit, so it was time to get my some pretty things, bra and underwear. I went through my drawer and just threw a bunch away. Ones I dont like how they fit, ones that had loose elastic, ones with fading, etc. I also got coupons from them in the mail for a free pair or underwear, $10 off a bra and a free gift if I spent over $75, an umbrella, which mine died with our last wind/rain storm here. Sooo I specifically went there, used all my coupons, spent $16 after using my credit from a year ago, so I was quite pleased!
I needed to buy myself some clothing, feeling pretty frumpy and Ive been losing weight. But the mall was too big and overwhelming for me, so I left, went to Target, as everything is smaller and more contained. I bought a dress, skirt, tank top, button shirt and a pair of boots. I also spent time in the makeup aisle. I dont buy a lot of makeup, except foundation and eyeliner/mascara. But my blush, eye shadows and lipstick I use FOREVER! I mean I have stuff YEARS an YEARS old. And I know I need to toss it but I have a hard time picking out colors for myself. So I spent time in the one aisle, they had qtips and tissue and testers! So I didnt have to spend $10 on some color Id get home and like. So I bought 3 lipsticks. That is HUGE for me.
I really need to go and clean out my closet, there is a gal in my neighborhood doing a clothing swap, so thinking of just taking everything there.
Went to Goodwill today after the dentist. Found some more items to sell, not a big spending spree today.
I also bought a shelf on sunday and hubby and I drove it straight to my booth at the store im selling in, I wiped it down in the van and took it there, its being used for displaying stuff. So it never made it home and I also took an end table over that was in my dining area. And I got about 2 bundles of toys tagged and out of my garage and took them over. So I guess that is success on that end getting things out.
Today was the dentist, doing my nails, toe nails, and I need to make time to go to the hair salon. I need to start taking care of me.
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