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Post by hollyhock on Jul 4, 2014 10:45:56 GMT -5
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Post by turkeyhill on Jul 4, 2014 12:59:33 GMT -5
I started late last night filtering more craft stuff and worked on it again at a slow pace this morning while watching a movie. It's just a 1/2 bag but my box of cross stitch supplies now has more room! I'm going to fill the rest up with kitchen trash. I had planned to donate the stuff but it's so hot decided to claim Amnesty instead of getting a headache going out in the heat.
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Post by rededen on Jul 4, 2014 20:00:41 GMT -5
You know, using this philosophy gets a lot done. Yes we all want it clean, clear, ordered, sorted NOW THIS INSTANT but unfortunately it doesn't happen. The same concept, of say, 30 minutes a day as an example, can get an enormous amount done, especially if you have 2 or more people working at the same time.
You see we have to live in the meantime. There's DH's/partners; kids; work; friends; family; meals; washing ironing cooking cleaning to what ever degree in the mean time. It isn't productive or even feasible to go at it 16 hours a day, week after week.
If two of you can do some tidying up for 1 hour per day, you have actually done two man hours of work. Perhaps I should say 'two person hours' but you all know what I mean! Therefore if you chose to do literally two tote bags each, just imagine what could be achieved.
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Post by robnoxious007 on Jul 5, 2014 12:47:10 GMT -5
You know, rededen, some of us live alone, so that's not possible. Some of us work multiple jobs to stay alive for multiple bosses, so while "30 minutes a day" may not seem like a lot to ask, it can be INCREDIBLY daunting, and outright impossible, at times. Some of us have to find our own way. Some of us, by just doing something, anything every night, no matter how small, or how completely drained and exhausted we are from working, literally, 16 - 18 hours in a day, have found a ray of hope from the squalor that has kept our lives in standstill for so many years. Thus, for some of us, a bag a day, every day is doable. Some bags are large, some bags are small, but there can always be a "bag," in some form. (or every 30 or 40 days, a small celebration that marks the place a bag would be.) Obviously, by "some of us" I mean me. I'm crawling out of crippling squalor, alone, and with the kind of schedule that makes it seem hopeless. What may seem encouraging to you, or a gentle push, may well have sent me off the rails and had me just throwing my hands up and giving up just a short time ago. Good God, that's why I started posting here, I hoped to find people who understood just how precarious recovery from this could be! I'm 16 years sober and the shame from this is far worse than my alcohol or drug addiction! "Why don't you just clean the place up?" Is JUST as inane as "Why don't you just stop drinking?" And "Why don't you just up it to 30 minutes a day?" IS THE SAME EFFING THING! If I COULD, I WOULD! Hell, I tried for years, YEARS!!!, to do "just" 15 minutes a day. Seriously. YEARS. I always fell off. Every time. And then it got worse. Years of my life. 30 minutes? AN HOUR?!? And "How about you split the chores with your partner?" Yeah. Don't have one. Thanks for the reminder. So many women lining up to spend their lives with a man in his forties battling squalor. Lovely to think about. "Two person hours..." Sure. Wouldn't that be nice. I'd love a two person hour with someone. Maybe we've found the root cause of why there are so few men posting in forums like these. Please give a little more thought before you post. The people reading your post PROBABLY have not reached the level of recovery that you have in this area, and implying that they can start operating at the level you now do is NOT encouraging, it is, potentially cripplingly, discouraging. That said, 39 bags in 39 days, on my third round of 40(ish) days, in a small apartment that is still in squalor. (There's your progress report, aquamarine) Thank you.
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Post by sue5000 on Jul 5, 2014 18:51:35 GMT -5
robnoxious!! GREAT post!! rededen, I, too, live alone. After 33 years of hoarding, I decided to get rid of 90% of my stuff. I'm doing it alone, too. I have to. Unless I want to be judged, scolded, and bossed around. Which I don't. I already feel bad enough. I had a full-time job at the time of my decision. I hated hated hated the job, and I was making almost NO progress at home. It's really difficult to work 40 hrs/week away from home, AND find time to mow the lawn, clean the gutters 3 times a year, trim the shrubs, weed the flowerbeds, haul the yard-waste away, auto maintenance, paint the trim, etc etc.... ALL ALONE........ ...... IN ADDITION TO ........ all the everyday stuff like paying bills, grocery shopping, cooking meals, cleaning house, showering, sleeping, paying bills, a doctor/ dentist appt here and there, etc etc... I quit my horrible job over a year ago and am now much happier and healthier. Altho, now I'm living in extreme poverty. Yes, I'm MUCH happier and healthier!! I joined this board shortly after that, and am NOW MAKING GOOD PROGRESS!! Because I actually have the TIME to do it now! and I'm not killing myself like Rob is ... and HE is making even BETTER progress than I am!! So everyone, I say, "Listen to your gut, not the naysayers or the scolders or someone who doesn't really relate to your situation." And once again, ROB!!! You do more in a day than each of us do in a week!
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Post by hollyhock on Jul 5, 2014 20:14:34 GMT -5
I too am alone. And up until last Oct. I had been working up to 12 hours a day, with about 7 days off a year (meaning holidays like Christmas and Easter where I was still on-call, plus was expected to entertain my grown kids with a meal.) So nothing extra ever got done. Until I quit. I was so burnt out from work, I could barely function at home. Rob. You are doing better than I did. Yesterday I deleted 202 emails. Today 600.
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Post by robnoxious007 on Jul 6, 2014 3:30:35 GMT -5
Well, there it went. Bag number 40, on Day number 40. Third round. I did well over 40 the first time, due to not getting the memo about taking Sundays off, 35 the second time and now another 40. I'm taking tomorrow off, having a bite of some celebratory chocolate, and then we'll see.
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Post by Ally on Jul 6, 2014 7:21:16 GMT -5
robnoxious007, While I don't live alone, I understand very much where you are... I work long hours and have a long commute, and some days it's hard to keep awake driving home, and I just want to grab a bite to eat and crawl into bed to sleep. Before I logged in this morning I had decided to post a few lines from a Needtobreathe song. Then I read your post about the finding "a ray of hope from the squalor that has kept our lives in standstill for so many years." So here it is: In this wasteland where I'm livin' There is a crack in the door filled with light And it's all that I need to get bySome days it's hard to see that ray of hope, and to keep pushing forward. But keep coming back it will get better. At least I hope so. DD came home from college in May and dumped boxes of stuff in an area I was trying to clear, and then DH dumps boxes of unsorted stuff from his room there, and It's like two steps forward, 3 steps back some days/weeks months. But if I am still putting more out than comes in, things should be getting better, Right? So what's next? Continue with a bag a day? 10 items a day? What is doable for you?
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Post by dtesposito on Jul 6, 2014 8:48:05 GMT -5
Labor Day is something like 56 days away--why don't you make a 56 day bag a day challenge thread, so it's obvious that there's an end point. If 56 days is too much, you can always choose one of the lesser "days" on the calendar for August, including National Lighthouse Day on August 7th, only 30 days away. Or, National Dog Day on August 26th, or Bad Poetry Day on August 18th, which would be fun, but which would take away from decluttering time by inspiring us to write bad poetry ABOUT decluttering. Or, a day which is appropriate for us, August 17th, National Thrift Store Day (as in donating our excess to a thrift store, not as in buying more stuff from a thrift store!!) By the way, rededen did say You know, using this philosophy gets a lot done, so I think she was trying to say that doing small amounts helps, whatever your definition of small amounts is for your particular individual situation. It will be different for each of us. Throwing away ONE piece of paper a day will make our homes better as long as we've stopped the inflow of more paper. Kudos to everyone who is keeping up this chain, you're all doing wonderful work! Diane
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Post by Ally on Jul 6, 2014 15:21:20 GMT -5
Today's "bag" consisted of a pop-up/folding trailer. I've owned it for about 8-9 years. My sister used it last weekend after having it sit unused for 3 years. I no longer have a vehicle to tow it. The mice had gotten into it and had a party. There were holes in the canvas and mouse poop everywhere. I spent hours cleaning it up and gluing fabric and vinyl pieces over the holes. I was going to list it on ebay today. It's been sitting at my dad's house for a week. We drove there on Friday to take some photos to post on ebay, and to clean it up a bit more (My previous cleaning had been focused on the inside). Someone stopped by today and bought it. It saved me the trouble of posting it on ebay. (I bought the trailer on ebay about 8-9 years ago.) (I have it at my Dad's house because he lives on a road that gets a lot of traffic. So that's 1000 pounds out today! Yay! Now to find the title and drive it to NJ on my next day off. Time to start a new goal for a new month!
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Post by hollyhock on Jul 6, 2014 21:23:02 GMT -5
Yay Ally for getting rid of the trailer. I recall you working so hard on it in WIT's.
Tonight I deleted 1007 emails (I have decided to do more on weekends, less during the week. And I still have a long way to go, and probably would never had started if I wasn't here. )
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Post by hollyhock on Jul 7, 2014 20:24:26 GMT -5
204 emails deleted today
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Post by rededen on Jul 7, 2014 22:46:37 GMT -5
I also lived alone at one time and this is a very difficult thing when it comes to tidying up or clearing out a hoard. I DO UNDERSTAND, believe me. When we live alone, we have to do things consecutively, not concurrently. Meaning if there's only ourselves to clean up, then 15 minutes, or 5, or 2 or however many, is just that. There's no other person to join us in our time allocated cleanup. I was only using that as an example. My study and the spare bedroom are very very very cluttered. I often walk in to the spare room and walk out again. In my house, bedrooms, bathrooms, communal areas are tidy, but. BUT. My attic study and the spare room are left overs from my hoarding days. Where do you put the stuff in order to get the space in order to tidy up? Bizarre as it may seem, we actually need space to make space.
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Post by Ally on Jul 9, 2014 11:19:07 GMT -5
I have decided that it's time to switch to s different goal. I still have piles of boxes/bags of stuff that needs to be sorted through. I plan to go through 2 per week. It's a reasonable amount for me to do with all of my other responsibilities. I don't think at this point that I'll start a thread for doing this.
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Post by catcat on Jul 9, 2014 21:31:26 GMT -5
Tonight, I am putting a bag on the porch with a big quilt in it that had been packed away & forgotten. It is to be picked up tomorrow by the M.S. assoc. . They had called me on the phone. Yay !
catcat
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