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Post by HFH on Jul 15, 2014 18:34:45 GMT -5
We have a major plumbing problem that we have been neglecting due to messiness, overgrown yard, TERROR at someone coming to the house.
We have made progress in the kitchen and laundry room (the main entrances a plumber would have to use IF GOD FORBID HE HAS TO COME INSIDE)
We have weed whacked and mowed down a rather substantial pathway of 3ft high weeds and grass to reach the basement entrance OUTSIDE THANK GOODNESS
Yet....I still have not called a plumber...is it good enough to have a repair man... I do not think it is if he has to come inside (BITE YOUR TONGUE)
So now it is just the terror holding me back from calling even though we NEED him.
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Post by boyswillbeboys on Jul 15, 2014 18:53:14 GMT -5
HFH, it's time to call, I understand the fear, but it will make your life easier to get the plumbing problem fixed if it's a major problem, chances are leaving it longer will not only make a bigger mess, but possibly cause damage. Call and make an appointment, then use the time between now and then to make things easier to access in the basement.
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Post by papermoon on Jul 15, 2014 19:03:17 GMT -5
HFH ~ What you've done is good enough for the plumber to get the access he needs. Call and get the next-available appointment. Don't let your fears be the cause of any further damage. Make that phone call now.
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Post by rededen on Jul 15, 2014 22:45:20 GMT -5
As long as the plumber can get in an out and do the job it's good enough. Believe me, tradespeople have seen it all. The plumber will not expect you to have a house, nor a garden that looks like it just stepped out of Vogue Living. And don't apologise for the mess, if you know what I mean. I've been to many homes where someone's apologised for 'the mess' and the mess is only a couple of dishes on the sink, nothing else. Apologising 'for the mess' gives the message in my opinion that the person feels guilty and/or expects to be judged because in their mind they are not good enough. Nah. No second guessing the plumber. You never know, he (or she - yep I know a female plumber) might live in squalor !
Many years ago I had a house cleaner come in for a number of hours per week. What did I do? I'd clean up for the cleaner!! Mad thing to do but I did't want the cleaner to think the place wasn't good enough.
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Post by papermoon on Jul 15, 2014 23:48:56 GMT -5
Absolutely agree with rededen. Don't apologize to the plumber. Just show him straight to the plumbing problem and let him do his job without distraction. That's his only business there, and I'm sure he couldn't care less about the rest. |
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Post by lucie on Jul 16, 2014 2:28:45 GMT -5
I think what you have done is good enough, so go and call him. Just to be on a safe side I would make sure the passages to those rooms are usable. As in he would not have to tread on anything. And deffinitelly do not appologize for anything.
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Post by GuitarStrings on Jul 16, 2014 13:31:22 GMT -5
I think it's good enough, as others said, if he can get in and access what needs to be done. I'm sure he has seen it all before. My dad's house is a nightmare now that my mother is deceased and he had to have a major problem fixed. The plumber just came in and fixed it. He wasn't there to assess the state or cleanliness of the house.
Just do it! You'll be glad you did.
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Post by messymimi on Jul 16, 2014 15:25:45 GMT -5
Take him to the basement, and if he says he needs to see other places in the house, ask why, and tell him you want the leak in the basement taken care of, there's nothing wrong in the rest of the house.
But do call.
messymimi
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Post by immaculata on Jul 17, 2014 8:55:48 GMT -5
Well done you for making progress in the kitchen and laundry room, and for having weed whacked and mowed down 3ft high weeds and grass to make access to the basement entrance. That's great!
I encourage you to call the plumber and get the plumbing problem fixed.
It is incredibly unlikely that the plumber will give a flying fig about the condition of your home. He or she will only care about getting in, getting the job done, getting paid and getting gone. Wouldn't that be all you'd care about if you were the plumber?
These things are always less hassle in the event than in the fear of the event. Do call the plumber!
What's the worst thing that can happen? The plumber could (but probably WON'T) say something insensitive to you? Tell him or her to mind their own business, and the next time you need a plumber, call a different one.
It will be all right.
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Post by HFH on Jul 19, 2014 9:42:58 GMT -5
I absolutely totally in my head know this is an irrational fear, but it is there. I am so panicked it seems on the verge of an anxiety attack, and that is just calling one. I will go totally bonkers waiting for him/her to come over. I have even listed out what could possible happen(but probably won't) that would be so bad.
1. Yell at us for neglecting the problem so long.
2. Disapproving looks/comments
3. Reporting us to authorities
I know none of these are life threatening, and I shouldn't even care what a stranger says or does, but I do and I am simply TERRIFIED. I do not know how to get around it.
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Post by immaculata on Jul 19, 2014 16:54:35 GMT -5
I absolutely totally in my head know this is an irrational fear, but it is there. I am so panicked it seems on the verge of an anxiety attack, and that is just calling one. I will go totally bonkers waiting for him/her to come over. I have even listed out what could possible happen(but probably won't) that would be so bad. 1. Yell at us for neglecting the problem so long. 2. Disapproving looks/comments 3. Reporting us to authorities I know none of these are life threatening, and I shouldn't even care what a stranger says or does, but I do and I am simply TERRIFIED. I do not know how to get around it. I totally totally sympathise. Irrational fears are difficult because it's really hard to talk yourself out of them. Is there any way you can get a friend or your partner (I'm not sure of your setup - apologies if I offend) to deal with the plumber? And just skip the whole issue? Or could you role-play the coming of the plumber with a friend or partner, which I know sounds like a bizarre suggestion, but seriously a little practice at what to say when the plumber shows up might be really helpful. I did a course once where the teacher made us role-play job interviews (which terrify me) and genuinely it was much much easier after that. Or could you call a few plumbers and explain that your house is a bit messy (you could even say it's due to having just moved in or whatever teensy fib you feel comfortable with, if you want), and see what their reaction is? You could then pick the one who sounds the most laid-back and then might feel a bit more comfortable with having him or her come over. |
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Post by papermoon on Jul 21, 2014 21:04:42 GMT -5
HFH, how's it going today? Here's sending you magical power vibes to face and vanquish your fears.  I am simply TERRIFIED. I do not know how to get around it.There's a saying that helps me deal with the worst of my fears: "The only way out is through." |
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Post by CaringFriend on Jul 22, 2014 1:24:40 GMT -5
As a teen and young adult, I used to suffer so from fear of deadlines, exams, reports due, first dates, etc. Then I discovered that the fear was worse than the actuality!  So when I'd have a deadline due or some other factor to face, I learned to focus on the day after, when all was past and....I'd still be alive, no matter what.  ! Go ahead and make the appointment and plan something relaxing for yourself for the hour after that appointment time....a relaxing bubble bath and a glass of wine, sitting under a shade tree with a glass of iced tea, a stroll to the nearest ice cream shop to treat yourself, etc. No matter what the appointment time is, you will be alive and well after that. Good luck!  |
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Post by joyinvirginia on Jul 22, 2014 3:51:56 GMT -5
Call that plumber before the grass grows back! Jerry, without adequate water supply, cleaning is so much harder! Let us know how this goes. Is there someone else who can call for you?
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Post by GuitarStrings on Jul 22, 2014 13:59:05 GMT -5
I understand irrational fears!!! I have been very afraid of flying for years, but I am getting over it by reading about coping techniques and watching some youtube videos that a pilot made.
It is so very true that the FEAR and anxiety is worse than the thing itself. The plumber is highly unlikely to yell at you, because he just wants to do his work and get paid. If he has access to what he needs to do, that is all that he probably cares about. HE HAS SEEN MESSY HOUSES BEFORE. Trust me. I seriously doubt that any of the things you are worrying about will come to pass. And if they did, so what? You will still be alive and your plumbing will be fixed!!!
Can you do what CaringFriend suggested and focus on the time AFTER the appointment? Envision yourself relaxing with something cool to drink, doing something you enjoy. And think about how much you will appreciate having that problem taken care of!
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