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Post by WhyNot on Jul 22, 2014 18:18:12 GMT -5
I realized today that I really, really struggle with seeing the big picture. Or, when I do, it's so overwhelming, I give up before I start! It's like looking at a where's Waldo picture, and trying to find Waldo, buy everyone *is* Waldo, and Waldo is the mess! I spent 4-5 hours today disassembling, cleaning and detailing my vacuum cleaner. Did it need it? Surely it did! It was filthy. But in the process, I ignored piles of dishes, mounds of trash, Mount Wash-more and several other things that needed my attention far more than that detailed vacuum cleaner needed as scrub. I don't know why I do this, but it happens frequently. Everyday much needed tasks are forgotten to things like scrubbing the stove, washing the tops of my cupboards, working on yard work .. etc. Yes, I know that every little thing I do around here "blesses" the house, but really, why not wash up the stinking dirty dishes first. Any one else have the same issue? Any resolutions? Just sharing my thoughts for today.
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Post by papermoon on Jul 22, 2014 18:49:20 GMT -5
June ~ I love the Waldo analogy. Even though you're feeling frustrated, your sense of humor is still intact. I have the same problem you describe. In my case, I believe it's because of my mix of ADD and OCD. My solution is to set boundaries by setting a timer for tasks as well as for taking breaks such as reading SOOS. True, this might create another type of frustration when the timer rings but the task is still far from finished. I just have to keep reminding myself that I AM moving forward, even though in baby steps rather than leaps and bounds. I might shift gears and choose to work on a bigger project until completion... I call this closing the loop. Even then I can use a timer to take breaks and switch over to, for example, washing a sinkful of dishes or taking out the trash or putting a load of laundry into the washer. Then back to my big project and my trusty timer. For me, the key is to pause when the timer rings, close my eyes and focus on my breath for a brief moment... and then take a good look at what I've accomplished. No matter whether the progress is a little or a lot, the important thing to do at that pause is to acknowledge and congratulate myself that I HAVE made progress and it IS better than it was. The pause also helps bring the bigger picture into focus again... from that point I can see where my attention should go next.
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Post by dtesposito on Jul 22, 2014 18:54:55 GMT -5
June, this is a common story here, it's the "perfectionist" tendency that many of us have. It's what makes us say "I'll do this later, when I have several hours to devote to it, because if I can't do it perfectly there's no point in doing it". And we never have the hours, or the energy to work for hours at a time, so we do nothing, and our homes are the exact opposite of "perfect". If you stay vigilant, you'll get to recognize when you're getting too detailed in one area. I know now that on the rare occasion when I'm actually cleaning, that if I think "I could really get into those crevices if I got some Q-tips and toothpicks out", I've totally lost sight of the big picture!
Maybe you could pick a few things that you want to be sure to get done first (like 1 load of laundry, emptying garbage cans, or something similar) and make yourself do those things before anything else. Then if you do get "lost" in a detailed job at least a few important things are already done?
Diane
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Post by dayeanu on Jul 22, 2014 23:03:37 GMT -5
What you describe is common here, as you've already been told. It may be perfectionism. It may be avoidance. We have a thread here somewhere describing it as a form of productive (?) procrastination.
I have it bad! My solution is to set a timer for 8 minutes. (Nothing magic about the exact amount of time.) The timer keeps me on track with what ever task is at hand. It's enough time to do something. But not so long that I dread doing it. And then it stops me after 8 minutes, so that I don't spiral down into that 5 hours of hyper-focusing on cleaning the refrigerator or the crevice with Q-tips (yes, I have really done that.) Or it snaps me out of daydreaming, and back to work, before hours are lost.
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Post by Unswamping on Jul 22, 2014 23:55:18 GMT -5
June i struggle with the problem myself. One thing ive been trying is to do as much maintenance as i can in the morning. I have a checklist too of tasks to do, once ive developed that habit i may not need it. I dont allow myself to do project work until the maintenance stuff gets done. On the days that i follow this, things go much better. So even if i get sucked in something like a 5 hr vacuum cleaning project (ive done that twice in the past month), the cat litter is changed, the trash is taken out, the dishes are washed. Ive been trying to do this for a month. I havent mastered it yet and ideally id like things to be different, like making sure the kitchen is cleaned up before bed. The strange thing is im not a morning person, maybe thats why this works. doing the routine before im fully awake, kind of on auto pilot and then delving into the days project when im more fully awake like paperwork or sorting clutter that needs more brain power.
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Post by Arid on Jul 23, 2014 0:41:55 GMT -5
Dayeanu: I've heard it referred to as "structured procrastination."
It's all avoidance behavior, really. One does a job about which one has been procrastinating for ages--simply to avoid doing and/or to procrastinate about doing some other even more undesirable job!!
As far as the 5-hour cleaning job with Q-tips kind of thing--I've had to teach myself to stop "going down that rabbit hole!" Now, I tell myself that **AFTER** I've done a "good enough" job (i. e. a "once-over type of cleaning"), I can "indulge myself" in doing the nit-picky, microscopic cleaning, if I so desire. However, it has to serve as a "reward" for me, rather than be an end unto itself. (I hope that makes sense to you all!)
Arid
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Post by def6 on Jul 23, 2014 15:35:44 GMT -5
Hello June, I have actually detailed my vacuum under the same circumstances as well. I have" fixed up" many things just like that in the past. Why , I think it has to do with seeing the value in objects...the other side is it might be about keeping my cleaning supplies and equipment neat and easy to use. I am religious about my mop head being clean and dry and ready to use. I just see it as something that needs to be done. I've often wondered if I have OCD but I've never been diagnosed.
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Post by turkeyhill on Jul 23, 2014 16:58:33 GMT -5
I struggle with this sort of - it's like I'm just becoming aware it's even an issue! A few weeks ago I made a little progress after reading something on here. It was taking me forever to get the mess on the floor cleaned up, I was stressed out about where to put each a few books that were being kept. I told myself "on the shelf not in proper order is better than on the floor" but it's a step I'm not usually aware of.
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Post by cricket on Jul 23, 2014 22:15:33 GMT -5
I absolutely struggle with this. In my case, it's probably hyperfocusing, since I know I have attentional deficits. You could google it to see what other say about it. There may also be some demand resistance thrown in, resistance to doing what I think I "should" do and subverting it by doing something else. I try not to look at the big picture too much, because it's so overwhelming. That's more an academic thing for when I'm not working, when I'm taking stock and reflecting on how it's going overall, not something that helps me in the trenches. But day to day, in the trenches, the way I avoid hyperfocusing on trivia at the expense of more pressing issues, is that I am trying to train my brain to literally look at what's physically around me. I'm not terribly visually aware if I don't make an effort. I'm trying to adopt the motivation of "making it look nice" during housekeeping sessions (on non-project days) rather than having long lists or using elaborate systems to tell me what to do when. By just puttering around doing things that catch my eye to make it look nice, I manage to hit the important stuff without the need for soul searching or creating systems. A dirty bathroom obviously doesn't look nice, so I take care of that when it comes up. Clutter doesn't look nice, so when I notice it I put it away. I might clean a window or take care of cobwebs or clean out the frige when I notice it's looking bad. I do laundry two days a week, and I have a few dailies I try to knock out first thing every day before I start winging it, and those two planned, recurring things seem to mostly keep the household running. Some days I dedicate to projects instead of the regular stuff. Right now I'm mudding my bathroom walls, preparing to paint them, and not getting too much else done. Projects help me leap frog ahead, as long as it's not everyday with no regular housework ever. But on normal, non-project, non-laundry days, I just try to make it look nice, keeps me on track mostly. One flaw is that I seldom dust. It doesn't have a scheduled time like laundry, and it doesn't seem to make a visual impression on me, though when I do dust, it really does make a difference in how things look. Maybe I'll naturally become more sensitive to it as I develop my ability to see and to be moved to action by what I see.
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Post by dayeanu on Jul 23, 2014 22:20:57 GMT -5
Dayeanu: I've heard it referred to as "structured procrastination." It's all avoidance behavior, really. One does a job about which one has been procrastinating for ages--simply to avoid doing and/or to procrastinate about doing some other even more undesirable job!! As far as the 5-hour cleaning job with Q-tips kind of thing--I've had to teach myself to stop "going down that rabbit hole!" Now, I tell myself that **AFTER** I've done a "good enough" job (i. e. a "once-over type of cleaning"), I can "indulge myself" in doing the nit-picky, microscopic cleaning, if I so desire. However, it has to serve as a "reward" for me, rather than be an end unto itself. (I hope that makes sense to you all!) Arid STRUCTURED procrastination! Yes, that was the word I was groping for! Thanks!
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Post by dtesposito on Jul 25, 2014 22:07:43 GMT -5
So as I was cleaning out the plastic bins in my pantry, making sure there was no evidence left of pantry moths, and as I GOT OUT Q-TIPS to get into a couple of tiny crevices in one of the bins, I figured I'd better come back here and make it clear that I don't think it's wrong to use Q-tips when they are warranted. In fact, I was reminded by this thread that I should probably clean out my refrigerator door edging, that's something that you have to use Q-tips for. I'm just saying that if you have any place in your house where it's more appropriate to use a putty knife (or a shovel) to clean, you should probably hold off on the Q-tip detailing until later. Diane
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Post by Arid on Jul 26, 2014 1:05:04 GMT -5
Good points, Diane!
Arid
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Post by Unswamping on Jul 26, 2014 10:46:15 GMT -5
Diane, my heart goes out to you for having to deal with pantry moths. I had an infestation once and it is brutal trying to get rid of them. Now anything that might potentially harbor them goes in the freezer for 48 hrs as soon as it comes in the house. This is definitely the right occasion for you to use qtips!
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