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Post by PerrinJade on Aug 16, 2014 15:04:26 GMT -5
I know that it's better than going downhill, but I hate feeling stuck.
I've reached a point in three rooms where the middle looks pretty good most of the time, but the areas along the walls are not great, leaving things looking not as good as they could.
I know that it's fairly easy, or it should be. But I feel overwhelmed for some odd reason.
Anyone else experience this?
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Post by papermoon on Aug 16, 2014 17:03:25 GMT -5
Actually, I welcome a plateau, whether hiking or decluttering. It gives me a chance to pause and really see things from that fresh new perspective. I like to use the trick I mentioned on this thread.... takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/24612/heard?page=1&scrollTo=443030.... to sit somewhere in the room where I normally don't sit (for example, in a corner or on the floor) and take in the new view from there, just pondering for 10 minutes. It's enough to nudge me off the plateau and get me moving onward and upward. Or, even if I don't jump up into action immediately, the pause starts some fresh ideas percolating in my head for later action. |
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Post by quietbird on Aug 16, 2014 18:13:00 GMT -5
Hmm, I'm at there right now! I'm thinking about the possibilities that exist along the lines of "When my Stuff and my Space are no longer A Problem I feel Responsible for, what will I shift over to? What then do I deal with that feels chaotic/painful/broken? In my life? In the world?" Eek!! As if I'm clinging to this stuff as an ill-conceived safety, excuse to not have to spend my energy elsewhere. (This is coming from a totally personal perspective! No implication you are doing the same.)
I like to brainstorm in situations like this. Any desire to sit in a corner near those last bits and jot down what comes up? Bubble other thoughts off of em until you get to a place of Aha! or release?
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Post by PerrinJade on Aug 17, 2014 10:53:27 GMT -5
I did get several of the problem spots in my living room, and I think I figured out the problem. I get stuck because, if I have a clean living room, it won't be enough. There are things I can't take care of: torn wallpaper, floors that are starting to splinter, etc. This isn't my house (renting from my grandma), and I don't have the money to fix these problems anyway. There's another issue of broken furniture pieces that DH doesn't want to get rid of because we might be able to fix them (they're not fixable in our skill-set). And then there are the toys. The house will never be perfect so what's the point? I've reached the spot where I see that crystal clear, and I don't want to see it because it bothers me more than an actual mess.
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Post by puppybox on Aug 17, 2014 12:04:18 GMT -5
Try to praise yourself for the effort, not the outcome, in that frustrating situation. You get FULL points for doing the work even if it doesn't look pretty in the end.
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Post by angela on Aug 17, 2014 12:57:35 GMT -5
I so get that feeling that if you clean up all the way there will be a point where it's out of your control to do these big things and so what's the point.
I am not as far along as you are so I don't have words of wisdom for accepting those big things like the torn wallpaper and bad floors.
I just wanted to let you know I understand.
It is also good practice to continue to clean up and declutter things that won't be used like the furniture pieces. You might not be in this house forever and to have the ability to get all the way to Level 0 will be good for whatever living situation you end up in.
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Post by papermoon on Aug 17, 2014 18:15:24 GMT -5
If we persist in focusing on the things we *can't* change, we will always be unhappy, always saying What's the point.
The solution, the *point*, is to turn our focus from negative to positive, to what we *can* change. Sounds simplistic? Yeah well, it works.
Sorry if I'm not being very sympathetic. It's just that I squandered most of my life in that negative mindset, and I hate to see somebody else stuck there.
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Post by HFH on Aug 18, 2014 15:34:12 GMT -5
My sons have asked me the same question when I ask them to help clean. "Even if its cleaned up, it can't be fixed up, so why bother?" I don't really have an answer for them other than it will make us feel a bit better being neater. Maybe when we get it picked up, then cleaned up, we will be able to fix up some things.
Another thing they use is " No one is going to ever see it, so why bother" To me this statement is VERY sad. WE see it, We should bother FOR US!!!. I usually have to keep repeating this even to myself. It matters because we see it, we live here, WE MATTER.
Your place sounds a lot like ours. The centers are cleared out for everyday living and moving around, but the stuff has just been pushed to the perimeters of the rooms. We have Rubbermaid tubs of clothes pushed to the walls of the living room, boxes of dishes and canned goods pushed to the sides of the dining room. We can use the table and the couches but looking around is not very pleasant at this point.
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Post by Serendipity on Aug 19, 2014 20:27:45 GMT -5
I have stuff piled too. I have started to do just picking out one thing from a bag because I get anxious with indecision. Maybe you can start with big things first. I had some pillows piled which made the pile high and once I moved them I could see it wasn't as bad as I thought. Also focus on how great you are doing!
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Post by PerrinJade on Aug 26, 2014 10:12:15 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom.
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Post by Di on Aug 26, 2014 10:34:47 GMT -5
When I reach a plateau, I pat myself on the back and compliment self for reaching that stage. Then I take photos of the room and they jolt me off my pedestal and usually apply a foot to my posterior in motivation. There is something about a photo that motivates me when nothing else does!
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Post by sunshineshouse on Aug 26, 2014 13:08:15 GMT -5
I understand this too. I have made good progress in my dining room, but then without all the junk hiding certain things (or distracting my attention), all the flaws of the rooms pop out. I have very bad wooden floors and very bad scuffed and dirty painted walls. Not that it is impossible to make these things look better, but it is another level of work. In the kitchen I have a big hole in the ceiling. Who cares if it is a big mess ... but the closer I get to cleaning it up, the more the hole in the ceiling comes into focus. I have lots more of these...
Don't sell yourself short - you may be able to do something with the torn wallpaper and even the broken furniture. Google a bit and you may either figure out a fix or some ingenious coverups. Maybe you can put the broken furniture pieces in a less visible place.
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Post by lostchild on Aug 26, 2014 16:36:01 GMT -5
I suggest you focus on the fact it can be better. The plateau is just a resting place to figure what's next. Even if its shabby you still need to clean and clear in order to have the house able to make progress,even if you rent make the repairs if you can so you will feel better.Maybe you can look on Habitat forHummanity because they have where people remodel and donate the leftover materials.That's a cheap resource for replacing stuff.Check a carpet place for remnants. Sometimes they have whole house remnants from when they do apartment building. There are ways to restore on the cheap.
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