|
Post by lostchild on Aug 23, 2014 18:15:24 GMT -5
I am wondering if it's just me or has anyone noticed that when you are depressed caring about our surrounding becomes nearly impossible? I am just asking how many cases is squalor do you think are due to misdiagnosis or lack of diagnosis of depression?
|
|
|
Post by papermoon on Aug 23, 2014 18:48:46 GMT -5
It may seem odd, but when my depression was finally confirmed by a psychiatrist in order to qualify for Disability, I felt validated. Then I was able to be proactive in my self-care and my home care, to restore my health and get rid of the clutter and dirt. This began in earnest in early 2012, following my diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, and my life has improved dramatically since then, with natural remedies, not medication. Depression had certainly knocked the stuffing out of me in the past. But I've gradually learned self-care techniques to lift myself up enough in order to get things done... and that in turn helps lift me higher. But in the past, there were bleak times when my to-do list consisted of only 2 things: 1. get up 2. get dressed Most days I could manage to do number 1, but not number 2. Some days I couldn't do either. Thankfully, I've learned enough about my depression so that now I believe I can protect myself from ever getting that bad again. Daily walking is probably the best protection that works for me (in bad weather, I walk in the mall... without my glasses so I won't get distracted!). Also I religiously take certain daily supplements that have been proven to help lift depression... fish oil, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12. lostchild, what things have you learned to help lift yourself?
|
|
|
Post by lostchild on Aug 23, 2014 19:32:03 GMT -5
Papermoon
Right now the cleaning is lifting me up right now because it's helping me achieve my goals.
I am getting some needs met so that's enough for now.
I don't yell at kids because we are developing a routine. We get up in time for breakfast and I don't trip over stuff in the floor. I am saving money because I don't have to replace broken and lost stuff. I don't miss the stuff I tossed. I am not stressed so I am becoming a better parent. I don't yell now so my kids take me seriously when I talk.My daughter isn't late everywhere we go.Friends have been complimenting me on how nice my house looks and the fact it doesn't smell of cat urine and feces. My daughter is picking up better habits. I don't fear people talking about me negatively because my house is nasty.I am not afraid to open the door and I don't feel the need to apologize about the state of my house.I know where the school supplies are when we have to do projects.
All of this is contributing to me feeling calm and lessing my depression so cleaning for me is emotionally satisfying.
|
|
|
Post by mouse on Aug 23, 2014 20:02:32 GMT -5
I'm right there with you. Depression and also anxiety in particular make me extra averse to cleaning, tidying, or generally keeping myself in good order. It's all I can do to get through the day when things are bad. That being said, having the house cluttered and filthy ratchets up my anxiety and contributes to the depression, which in turn make me not want to clean... It's a vicious cycle. :/ ~Mouse
|
|
ench
New Member
Joined: March 2014
Posts: 19
|
Post by ench on Aug 23, 2014 20:08:40 GMT -5
When I'm particularly down, I have enough trouble remembering to brush my teeth and use deodorant. I look at the clutter in my house and am so overwhelmed I don't know where to start... so just don't.
Luckily, I usually got myself back on track within a few days and kept everything "OK". My husband also does A LOT.
I am being treated for depression now, and while I still get a bit overwhelmed, I am able to take a deep breath and talk myself into just starting SOMEWHERE and my house is messy in a "working too much and having young kids" kind of way, and is clean.
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Aug 23, 2014 20:59:24 GMT -5
I'm right there with you. Depression and also anxiety in particular make me extra averse to cleaning, tidying, or generally keeping myself in good order. It's all I can do to get through the day when things are bad. That being said, having the house cluttered and filthy ratchets up my anxiety and contributes to the depression, which in turn make me not want to clean... It's a vicious cycle. :/ ~Mouse I have often wondered which came first, the squalor, or the depression. At any rate, it's a vicious, self-sustaining cycle.
|
|
|
Post by lostchild on Aug 24, 2014 2:30:08 GMT -5
Had to have police over and wasn't afraid of child authorities being called due to hygiene issues. I feel much better.
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Aug 24, 2014 7:00:44 GMT -5
Yet another chicken and egg discussion, and i have no answer. What i know is that when i am depressed, i only cook and clean and care for the animals because i have to, and nothing extra gets done.
messymimi
|
|
|
Post by angela on Aug 24, 2014 11:54:28 GMT -5
lostchild, I have finally realized that my depression affects my physical energy. I totally did not understand or accept this. Like mimi, I can get up and get everyone fed and even get myself dressed and groomed for work because I must, but that is all I get done. So the things that contribute to squalor, regular cleaning and deep cleaning, putting things away, retail therapy-type acquisition all start to add up to squalorous, cluttered circumstances. I think the key for me is two-fold, work harder on getting my depression treated and under control, and also pare way back on responsibilities and possessions so those low energy depressed times don't make for such a tremendous backslide.
|
|
|
Post by lostchild on Aug 24, 2014 14:48:27 GMT -5
Angela getting my depression under control has produced so many happy results I wish you the same. I literally dug out a squalor filled house in less than a month except for the son's room,storage room and outside tree trimming.I am able to defend my kitchen and dining room at n under 45 minutes total now. I have overflowing trash bins because tossing stuff isn't producing anxiety. I take Latuda with Adderall for adult ADHD.If your depression is severe you might want to focus on treating it first because when you feel better I find you clean better.Decisions come easier and you don't have anxiety over everything. It all falls into perspective.
|
|
|
Depression
Sept 5, 2014 16:01:55 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by thedreadedknock on Sept 5, 2014 16:01:55 GMT -5
I have to say Depression came first for me. Began in 2000. Lostchild if it wasn't for Adderall i would get nothing done. Though it affects me more mildly than most because I'm Narcoleptic. The depression and narcolepsy feed off each other too. I get and relate to what all of you are saying. All we can do is go day by day. Little by little. I WISH I could dig out as fast as you did Lostchild. Did you get a dumpster or manage with regular trash pick up? I want to rent a dumpster so bad. Dh won't hear of it.
|
|
|
Post by mouse on Sept 6, 2014 11:39:47 GMT -5
In my case the messiness came first. I've never been a particularly tidy person—my mother is a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning, very all-or-nothing, and I have memories of watching her spend her evenings and weekends (she worked full-time) on her hands and knees, scrubbing the whole house. She also didn't feel that mops cleaned the floor properly, so she'd do it all with a j-cloth and a bucket of hot water and vinegar. Growing up with this all-or-nothing mentality made me go the opposite way: I could never do it "right," so why bother at all? Yeah, not the most constructive conclusion I could have come to, but oh well. Hindsight, and all that. So when my depression hit (well, technically Bipolar Disorder Type II), things were already kind of messy, and I spiraled SUPER fast into squalor after that. My usual living conditions are at around a 1 anyway, with friendly piles of paper and books that haven't been put away and a few dishes in the sink and so forth. Combine that with pets (only cats at the time), and it was really easy to slide into third degree squalor when I couldn't even make myself get out of bed on some days, let alone scoop the cat pans. These days I am learning that "good enough" is exactly that. Although selling my house is doing a number on my morale, because my real estate agent keeps finding extra things that I should clean. I hate cleaning floors (see above: how my mother used to do it), and he keeps harping on about my needing to mop more. I know he's doing it so that the house will sell, and that it's a good thing, but all I hear in my head is my mother's voice telling me that I'm doing it all wrong and that it will never ever be properly done. /o\ So I have no real answer to the chicken-and-egg question. I just know that, for me, my mental illness exacerbated a tendency that was already there. ~Mouse
|
|
|
Post by cricket on Sept 6, 2014 11:56:21 GMT -5
Depression is complex, but one aspect I only recently was able to verbalize to myself is that it completely flat-lines the whole reward-circuitry in my brain. When I do some small task, say clear and polish a table, I look at the gleaming surface and I feel a tiny little tingle of satisfaction. It's not huge or physical, just a feeling of satisfaction, but quite uplifting and motivating.
When I am depressed, that is completely absent. No matter what drudgery I perform, I don't enjoy doing it, and once it's done, I don't feel that rewarding ping. Complete mental numbness. I'm just flat. Life is an endless, featureless, hopeless desert no matter what I do or don't do.
Like Angela said, depression is not just an emotional state, it's quite physical. I had extreme fatigue as well as a variety of somatic pains during depression. It was all coming from my head, no organic cause, but the experience was still very physical and quite real.
That combination, the crippling fatigue plus no sense of accomplishment or pleasure in finishing tasks, made it almost impossible to keep on keeping on with daily chores.
Layering that on top of a life-long tendency to be a bit messy and lacking basic skills (that is, no dependable auto-pilot routines in place, having to consciously recognize, plan, and think about every task, every time) and it really was a recipe for squalor.
|
|
queso831
New Member
Joined: August 2013
Posts: 21
|
Post by queso831 on Sept 6, 2014 18:37:37 GMT -5
i am also dealing with this as well. i went from being overmedicated to getting to the right dosage to then no meds and i can see how that cycle effected my home. when i was overmedicated on an antidepressant i couldn't do anything except get ready to go to work and eat crappy food because i felt so ashamed. when my dosage was changed, i felt so much better that i could now walk my dogs and clean up my squalor. i thought "hey, i'm feeling great so why am i even taking meds" (irrational looking at it now) that now i'm in a full blown major depression and my house is slowly going back to what it used to be. i can't take the dogs out anymore and i'm afraid of people which means fast-food and no grocery shopping.
i definitely think that squalor and depression go hand in hand.
blessings and compassion,
queso
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Sept 6, 2014 21:10:07 GMT -5
i am also dealing with this as well. i went from being overmedicated to getting to the right dosage to then no meds and i can see how that cycle effected my home. when i was overmedicated on an antidepressant i couldn't do anything except get ready to go to work and eat crappy food because i felt so ashamed. when my dosage was changed, i felt so much better that i could now walk my dogs and clean up my squalor. i thought "hey, i'm feeling great so why am i even taking meds" (irrational looking at it now) that now i'm in a full blown major depression and my house is slowly going back to what it used to be. i can't take the dogs out anymore and i'm afraid of people which means fast-food and no grocery shopping. i definitely think that squalor and depression go hand in hand. blessings and compassion, queso Can you get back on the meds? If they helped you, I hope you can!
|
|