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Post by quietbird on Sept 3, 2014 23:56:52 GMT -5
I'd appreciate a place to occasionally post my regrets about purchasing or caring for items... the specifics. Anyone else think this would be helpful, to spell em out here, see that we're not alone, and help let it go? Today I took my laptop in to diagnose why it isn't charging, after going without it for 6 months because I was woe to spend money on it if something was seriously wrong. (This, I am recognizing, is a squalor/hoarder mentality thing... realizing I do this with so much. Avoidance is pointless.) It turns out it's more or less fine, there were just some staples jammed in the charging plug area that weren't allowing it to charge. So I didn't have to spend a penny, the nice guy just took em out. Then when I get home, pleased with the idea that I can watch a movie on my laptop at night for the first time in awhile... I sit on my dear little laptop! What! The very same day as I get to use it again, and find out I don't have to spend a ton of money on it! Now the screen has little hairline cracks. It can be used as long as it doesn't crack further, but I feel like such an idiot. So careless. A 'waste' of money and resources.  I'm trying not to think of all the other things the money could go towards if I hadn't been such a doof. If I was a more organized person, I feel that things like this wouldn't happen... because I'd be careful. The only way I can be okay with this is to let it help me commit to taking excellent care of things. Being more aware in general. Then perhaps I won't hide the laptop under a blanket so it won't get stolen (my laptop was stolen four years ago from my home, and I lost years of photos)... and sit on it. Oy vey!! Your turn? Get something off your chest and help me feel less alone? |
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Post by outfromundah on Sept 4, 2014 2:04:16 GMT -5
Ummmm, so... this is a thread where we should beat ourselves up?
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Post by quietbird on Sept 4, 2014 2:35:05 GMT -5
Ah. I didn't intend it that way - I was hoping it would be more of a release. But if it's coming off that way to those who see it, I'll delete it. (Or have it deleted - I don't know if members can delete threads?)
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Post by outfromundah on Sept 4, 2014 2:55:44 GMT -5
Ah. I didn't intend it that way - I was hoping it would be more of a release. But if it's coming off that way to those who see it, I'll delete it. (Or have it deleted - I don't know if members can delete threads?) I don't think it's a bad thing to write about how we've turned around regrettable choices and come away with happy or positive results. But, as I read your first post, it struck me that you were being incredibly hard on yourself. |
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Sept 4, 2014 3:55:02 GMT -5
Ummmm, so... this is a thread where we should beat ourselves up? Actually, I appreciate the opportunity to collaboratively release (i.e., "beat ourselves up"). My DH's mode is to 'just move on...", but for me that is difficult to do so. Knowing that others ruminate like I do helps me to feel less alone. Further, analyzing past instances that have induced regret helps me to make better choices now and in the future. Having said all that, my area of expertise is self-loathing, so perhaps I'm drawn to threads that can perpetuate the S-L. ; ) I see that quietbird proposed deleting a post if others read it as overly negative. Please advise if I should do so as well. Many thanks! |
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Post by lucie on Sept 4, 2014 5:46:01 GMT -5
Do not delete this thread please. It is nice to be able to vent my regrets, it helps me to cope with them!
Here it goes: I regret some rushed acqusitions I made this year. There are two:
- A handbag I needed to go with my classy dress (all my handbags were too sporty). I found one at a reasonable price and was happy with it until I wore it few times and realised it is way too small for my needs. So I went and bought yet another one about a week later, very similar to the first one, only bigger. I should have thought it out in the first place and waited for the right one.
- red shoes to wear with a dress/skirt. They look nice, but the material is too hard and made huge blisters on sides of my heels very quickly. Those shoes were not cheap, I should have tried them on properly. Well, I still hope I will be able to soften them. Any suggestions?
Btw, this is my post Nr. 1000. Wow.
ETA: The second handbag I bought was too small too. Both were donated before Christmas.
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Post by Di on Sept 4, 2014 7:07:03 GMT -5
lucie consider taking your red shoes to an actual shoe shop. They can often do things to improve the fit on shoes. I like the idea of this thread. I rarely look back but when I do something boneheaded, I need to express it and vent just a bit before I forgive myself and move on. I bought a new Tervis Tumbler water bottle with my favorite team logo between the layers. For some stoopid reason I set it on the windowsill in an upstairs window. Later I opened the window to yell for Kiddo to catch the T. T. who had escaped and was heading for the street. Of course my elbow hit the water bottle. It did not survive the encounter with the fountain. then I (cue hoarder mentality music) agonized over throwing away the top which was unharmed using the justification that I REALLY like that bottle and will replace it and shouldn't I have an extra lid? Eventually I came to my senses and tossed the whole thing. (and yes, I know Tervis has a "lifetime warranty" and I have gotten several replaced that didn't hold up to standard use but I would feel too guilty asking them to replace the bottle due to breakage from abuse--- none are designed to withstand flight and sudden impact!)
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Post by Script on Sept 4, 2014 8:33:50 GMT -5
I sincerely regret that I was never able yo get a handle on day to day spending over my adult lifetime. I was great with long term savings investments home equity. But I never put together a workable budget that would help me control DH who is a little reckless.
I didn't honour my ow financial wisdom. I let things get to the point where I was waaaaaay past my debt threshold comfort zone. I did restore order on June 21 2013....insisting we downsize ASAP.
I am working on forgiving myself for my $$$$$$ mistakes.
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Deleted
Joined: January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2014 8:52:29 GMT -5
stupid boat!!! ahhhhh! why did I encorage hubs to buy a stupid boat he never uses!!!!!!!!!! Stupid boat!!!!
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Post by Di on Sept 4, 2014 9:31:39 GMT -5
@hordfest. A boat has been defined as a hole in the water, surrounded by fiberglass, into which you pour money. I have heard also that 2 of the happiest days in a man's life are the day he gets that boat that he has always wanted and the day he unloads it onto some other unsuspecting sucker. NOTE: We have always had boats, I know the pros and cons first hand. I no longer own one myself but my 2sons still have them. I still feel your pain  |
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Post by ohblondie on Sept 4, 2014 10:07:36 GMT -5
Regrets that have bothered me but I am learning to let go...
Finances - We always spent what we earned and never signed up for deferred comp or really planned for anything. We would borrow and pay off never save to buy.
I regret that I left so much stuff in storage in the basement and attic of our two family home. Basement flooded twice and I had to toss many many pics of the kids when they were little. My niece picked thru and ruined the stuff in the attic
I wish I had more structured after dinner time for the kids when they were growing up (I worked and hubby sat in front of the TV and thought the kids should self monitor and handle their own homework). I wish I had pushed them harder and intilled a better school work ethic in them. Maybe they would have finished college on time. (well one did)
I wish the house had been neater so that they could have had more friends over.
Out of this I have two boys who are headed back to college despite bumps in the road. I have two boys who are busting their butts and working hard. THey carry their own car loans and student loans. Well one works for a company that pays for school - ka-ching!
I have many other blessings as well - and just writing them down and releasing them is cathartic!
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Post by angela on Sept 4, 2014 13:47:19 GMT -5
As it relates to squalor and care of possessions, I regret that I let myself acquire too many cats and that I let them ruin possession and my house with inappropriate elimination habits ie spraying. As long as I live in this house, I will be living with those consequences.
Likewise, I regret that I let the house bunny chew on so much of my furniture. Though nothing was made non-functional because of her, there is a lot of shabby looking stuff now that will look that way as long as I have it.
As for clutter and possessions, I regret squandering the money that was available while I took care of Grandpa on SO MUCH STUFF. I had absolutely no restraint as to acquisition. I have decluttered much of it but still have too much stuff and of course, no money or even good experiences to show for all I spent on the stuff.
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Post by hiding on Sept 4, 2014 16:30:18 GMT -5
What is particularly hard for me to take is when a decision is not careless, but painstakingly thought out and still fails. That stings and stinks.
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Post by bittyboo on Sept 4, 2014 17:18:55 GMT -5
stupid boat!!! ahhhhh! why did I encorage hubs to buy a stupid boat he never uses!!!!!!!!!! Stupid boat!!!! Substitute motorcycle for boat, and I'm right there with you. I should have put my foot down a lot harder when that purchase was debated. Not only do I regret the purchase because I live in terror every time DH rides it, which is not that much, thank goodness, but I deeply regret that when I accidentally ( really) hit it with my car, I didn't do a better job of it. I also regret selecting a paint scheme for the greater part of my house based on tiny paint chips. Turns out the people who urged me to buy sample sizes of the paint to better judge the color were SO right. Duck Head Blue is beautiful on a paint chip, but in the living and dining rooms? Not so much. |
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Post by papermoon on Sept 4, 2014 17:47:56 GMT -5
Here's mine, and it's a doozy. I hope somebody gets a good laugh...
When I first discovered eBay in 2001, I went wild bidding on auctions right and left. I got a lot of wonderful stuff... and then I made one very regrettable purchase. I had a lot of money to throw around in those days. I was obsessed with the idea of having a pair of sterling silver grape shears. A pair of Buccellati shears came up for auction. I had seen them in the store, retailing for new at $1300. I bought them on eBay for $300. And get this... I was SO PROUD of myself for getting such a fabulous bargain.
Then they arrived... beautiful things but... What was I thinking?!?!?
As my friend said at the time, when I phoned her sobbing about my impulse purchase: "Girl, are you insane? $300 for a pair of scissors?!?!?"
I even tried to resell them on eBay three different times. No takers.
Yesterday I bought a big gorgeous bunch of organic red grapes, on sale for only $2.99 a pound. I will use my $300 shears to snip off small clusters, and I will enjoy every bite. It's been 13 years, and I have long since gotten over the feelings of regret and sour grapes.
They really are beautiful.
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