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Post by Morningstar on Sept 4, 2014 18:27:32 GMT -5
Thanks for starting this thread quietbird. One major regret - not taking the time, effort or courage to discover 'myself' (passions, skills, traits), the sort of career options those could lead to or I could create for myself, and making goals and proactively pursuing whatever it might take (training, work experience/internships, networking, informational interviewing, addressing 'career blocks') to make that happen - while youth was on my side and I had easy access to information, facilities, organisations, people, finance and family support to aid that process. It is still possible, but difficult in current circumstances (poor finances, transport restrictions, limited internet access, dying computer, medical needs of a family member, small town with limited work and career assistance options). A job that covers living expenses and facilitates computer upgrade and travel to access more options would really help right now. Morningstar
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Post by puppybox on Sept 4, 2014 23:17:23 GMT -5
im fairly frugal but I was feeling hormonal and aches and pains-y so I bought some "top up" fuel for my computer game characters... about 4 payments of 3.99 each and I knew they might make my account go into the red but I thought I had overdraft protection up to $99. And I had a payment coming in to cover them in about a week, even if I had to pay 1 or 2 fees of what I thought was $5 each based on past fees I had paid. But I knew I was only making assumptions about my bank procedures as many odd (but good) things had happened after thy sent me the rule changes (which I hadn't read).
so the payments all overdrafted me after the first one did and each one cost me $45 (4 charges of that) and then the incoming deposit didn't cover all of that and the company retried those payments 2 weeks later (I had been sick and procrastinated going to the bank which i'd have to do by bike or bus on top of working my very physical job) ... charging me ANOTHER $45 five more times. And then I forgot (I was upset) about my Netflix charge which happened on the day I went to the bank and got another charge of $45 for that.
and then pay pal called me to pay them back (they had paid the computer game company) and said I should pay them more quickly than I could get my account sorted out and to do that I should buy a prepaid credit card and I had a little cash so I agreed. I bought the card but I have now failed to be able to use it to pay bills, buy things over the internet or even ata café. First they said "oh its for goods and services but not bills". then theysaid it should work in shops but not online. Now I am in trouble as it didn't work in the coffee shop today. I don't have a credit card normally because they are not worth the danger and headaches of the evil company....
REGRET!!!!!!!!
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akm694
New Member
Joined: April 2011
Posts: 59
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Post by akm694 on Sept 5, 2014 13:43:43 GMT -5
I've had many items I really cared about ruined because I didn't have my act together. My baby book...ruined. Pictures ruined......so many things. I have learned to let it go and move on even though from time to time it stings a little. I understand. It honestly makes me value what I have so much more and want to take care of it since I have gotten past the way I used to live.
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Post by Di on Sept 5, 2014 14:02:15 GMT -5
I ran out of money and lost the contents of a storage building that had many valuable items in it. I could have cleared out the valuables but was overwhelmed and I let it all go because I didn't think I could deal with even "some" of it.
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Post by larataylor on Sept 17, 2014 3:45:51 GMT -5
I regret that I haven't been able to take really good care of some of my precious treasures because of all the other junk in my house(s). One particularly sentimental piece was badly damaged by rain because we couldn't fit everything into the "new" house when we cleared out the old one. There were lots of people helping, and some junky, cheap stuff got inside while that treasure was left out. There was just so much stuff that I wasn't aware of it.
I like the idea of this thread.
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Sept 17, 2014 22:09:38 GMT -5
I regret losing my teaching career over letting my paperwork expire.
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Post by hurricane on Sept 18, 2014 8:31:47 GMT -5
I've gotten some good laughs reading about other's regrets, and most certainly have a few of my own: 1. When hubs and I were both working and had cash to spare, he wanted one of those huge projection TVs (flat screens weren't out yet). I can't remember the exact size of it but it took up half of a full length wall. He sold me on the idea because he said we could snuggle (hey, we were newlyweds) while we watched movies and it would be fun for us. So he bought the TV for $3000 and spent another $1000 on a surround sound system, and I bought a duel reclining Natuzzi leather love seat for us to snuggle on for $3000. OMG that was $7000 worth of stuff! Know how many times over the next ten years we used that set-up? ONCE. ONCE in 10 years. We had failed to consider that in my nursing job I worked evenings, nights and weekends, and his job was just day shifts during the week. We never had time off together and neither of us ever watched movies or TV . Last year we gave away the giant TV (couldn't even sell it) and I sold the love seat, which had been sat in ONCE, to my mom for a massive loss. Insane regret....INSANE REGRET. 2. I hate to cook and have severe issues with my hands, so cooking/chopping is painful. Hubby convinced me to buy a Weber Spirit Grill for about $500+ last year so "he could help with the cooking." Our financials are tight these days, and I had to scrape and save and sacrifice to afford this grill, which I had absolutely no interest in. Husband has never used the now two year old grill. I used it a few times, but I can't keep my toddler away from it when I'm cooking so it doesn't work for me. What a total waste.
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Post by lucie on Sept 18, 2014 9:50:43 GMT -5
I regret losing my teaching career over letting my paperwork expire. Blackswann, can you renew the paperwork again? It may be worth the try.
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Post by lostchild on Sept 18, 2014 10:23:40 GMT -5
I lost a Michael Jordan autograph that got destroyed.
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Post by grasshopper on Sept 18, 2014 14:40:14 GMT -5
I will go back and read all the posts, but want to respond to quietbird 's earlier post. You ARE being so hard on yourself quietbird! I recognized it immediately as EXACTLY what I do to myself all the time! I am grateful that you felt you could express yourself here. Let's bring these habits of self-recrimination and excessive regret out in the open! I'm not sure what the best way to do that is. Dwelling on the negative is not helpful, but having community and feeling heard are antidotes to shame. Everything and everyone will eventually be broken and obsolete. Loss is inevitable. What am I doing to myself when every time I look at my cracked tablet I use it as evidence of my unworthiness? Yes, it is cracked due to my carelessness, but how much do I need to make myself suffer for that? You may at times be a careless bird, but you are also caring and perceptive and brave and apparently very talented(are those your drawings?). Is forgetting where you put your notebook all that bad? Well, I don't know. I have a long list of regrets about neglecting physical items that I repeatedly bring up to myself. Still working on letting it go.
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Post by lostchild on Sept 18, 2014 14:45:59 GMT -5
Quietbird use your regrets to change your life. You know what was wrong so you have a path to veer from. You can go the opposite direction. I know you're getting things off your chest but don't use them to berate yourself. You wouldn't be that hard on a friend so don't be that hard on yourself!
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Post by larataylor on Sept 18, 2014 14:58:51 GMT -5
For me, the purpose of this thread would be to see how regrettable things can happen because of squalor and clutter. Of course we have regrets about lots of things, but the squalor/clutter regrets are just especially pertinent to this forum.
And it's not about berating ourselves, but reminding ourselves of the painful consequences of squalor and clutter to further motivate us to clean it up and maintain.
When I had a business that was all about accuracy, I used every mistake as an opportunity to tweak the system so that that mistake could not happen again. I want to tweak my life the same way so that treasures do not get ruined, things do not get lost, money does not get wasted, and so on. It's fine to feel some grief over a lost or ruined item, or over wasted money. But we should grieve and move on without making it about how bad or stupid we are.
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Post by hurricane on Sept 18, 2014 21:44:53 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure every person on earth has made some regrettable purchases that didn't work out as hoped....you don't have to be a squalorer for that to happen to you! Of course it's not good to beat ourselves up, but that doesn't mean we can't have some humor and levity about the mistakes we've made, and take steps not to repeat them. I have been in maintenance for years and still sometimes miss the mark with either spending money unwisely or not caring for something so it gets destroyed. I just washed a 10 year old purple tie dye skirt (that has been washed 100+ times) with a white tee shirt, and the tee shirt got ruined by purple dye staining it. It was a stupid move but I don't think I'm unworthy because of it.....I sure won't do it again though! I really don't see an issue with discussing our mistakes....if someone is beating themselves up about it, perhaps the discussion will help them change their mind and see none of us are perfect, whether we are currently clean or messy.
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Post by hiding on Sept 20, 2014 13:22:49 GMT -5
What is particularly hard for me to take is when a decision is not careless, but painstakingly thought out and still fails. That stings and stinks. The worst one was a business partnership I was in. I thought that we had planned well. However, until one is actually running a business, one doesn't know what all is involved. In college I did a paper for an economics class named How Not to Run a Business. Knowing the professor fairly well, I gave a humorous spin to my failure. I got an A on the paper so I at least got something positive out of blowing a business.
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Post by lostchild on Sept 20, 2014 14:22:17 GMT -5
Regret not purging sooner. Finding a lot of stuff I shouldn't have had in first place!
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