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Post by lostchild on Sept 8, 2014 0:31:07 GMT -5
Angela I feel that we have to talk about drepression honestly because more than anything it is the one of if not the biggest obstacle to many of us coming out of squalor. Unfortunately because many of us are under going no treatment,not enough treatment or ineffective treatment our depression isn't being alleviated creating a worm eating its tail situation.
I feel depressed because I can't clean and I can't clean because I am depressed.
These situations make the sufferer feel as if there is no way out which is why I always tell people not to wait till they are motivated because they won't feel motivated until there is a change in their surroundings. I am hoping if we exchange information honestly we can help each other to deal with a situation not of our making. Depression isn't cured by willpower otherwise it wouldn't exist.It's caused by situations in our past or present or by chemical imbalance.
Medication while effective for some isn't for all and other suggested cures range from helpful(dietary changes,vitamins,Epson salts,bright lights,vitamin D ) to cures that can actually harm you.
Sadly the despair caused by depression can continue unalleviated until the results are complete collapse to suicide. If we aren't honest this is some the results.
I am hoping in being honest we can give each other support to climb out of depression and thus many times out of squalor. That is why many times when someone says my house is dirty I ask if they are depressed and if they say yes I recommend a medical care first. I say speak up silence is deadly.
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Post by Arid on Sept 8, 2014 3:02:33 GMT -5
irisbloom: I just wanted to say that you should try to remember that "Even a fraction of action is worthwhile!"
Also, be sure to read the directions on your toilet bowl cleaner before you use it. Di was recommending that you close the lid of the toilet after adding the cleaner, but the brand that I use most frequently clearly says *NOT* to close the lid . . . So, please, be sure to check!
Arid
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Post by OnTheMend on Sept 8, 2014 4:22:56 GMT -5
<snip>Also, be sure to read the directions on your toilet bowl cleaner before you use it. Di was recommending that you close the lid of the toilet after adding the cleaner, but the brand that I use most frequently clearly says *NOT* to close the lid . . . So, please, be sure to check! Arid Sorry this is a bit off topic, but do you know why? irisbloom - I am sending positive energy to your way!
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Post by dayeanu on Sept 8, 2014 5:44:47 GMT -5
angela I, too am glad we are talking about depression. Lord knows, over the years we have sure talked about everything else on the Board! irisbloom I am so glad you spoke up and reached out to us. And I am glad we have been able to give you encouragement. I totally understand about not taking meds for depression. I am also one of those people who has difficulty tolerating almost any medication. I'm the one they were referring to when the package insert warning says "1 out of 500,000 had xx side effect." That was me. . I have also gone for years of talk therapy, which helped very much in some ways, but not other ways. Cognitive behavioral therapy, the little I have gleaned from studying on my own, has been extremely helpful, too. Talk therapy helped me understand things and change internally (which was very much needed), and CBT is helping me change my actions. Reading and sometimes attending 12 step programs is excellent, too. I have read a lot of AA literature, and while I don't ingest substances, I identify with the thought processes in a powerful way. Lots of the AA literature has been extremely helpful to me. It is my opinion that anyone can benefit from it. There is just lots of good wisdom for daily living there. My biggest change, though, came from dietary and lifestyle change. It was so amazing to me, because in just a matter of a couple weeks I went from a depressed, lethargic blob who was totally overwhelmed, to a strong, energized person who could cope. My living conditions and relationships had not changed at all, but I felt so much stronger and was emotionally better able to handle it. I was shocked at how my emotional and mental well-being was affected by sleep and dietary change. I know everyone has their own dietary beliefs, but I believe that lowering carb intake, eliminating gluten and dairy (except butter), and especially the addition of healthy fats, was the game changer for me.
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Post by europegirl on Sept 8, 2014 11:05:35 GMT -5
It’s disrespectful of management and horrible to my family and my cat. All I wanted to say has already been mentioned by others above... But one thing - since you are depressed it's in the nature of depression that you yourself are not enough motivation for you to improve your life. And since you are having marriage problems, your family might not be enough motivation either (or even if they are, your husband/family might be a source of demand resistance or someone nagging at you when it comes to housework?) This may sound banal...but at least you got the cat, and sometimes having to tidy/clean up for a pet can be a good kickstart? Cats appreciate things to climb on and they don't mind being surrounded by items, but cats also loved cleanliness and are neatfreaks - your cat will appreciate it when you are taking these first steps to get cleaned up... And when you get more organized your depression may get a bit lighter hopefully, and then hopefully you'll find the motivation to clean just for you too?
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Post by puppybox on Sept 8, 2014 12:04:29 GMT -5
kitty power!
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Post by ohblondie on Sept 8, 2014 12:19:41 GMT -5
Sounds like you have gained some traction so to speak. I sometimes find that when I get something accomplished , even if it is a clean bathroom, I feel so much better I feel CAPABLE! And When I feel CAPABLE, I feel empowered and can do anything!
I like the piece of advice someone gave - about doing the thing that will mke the most difference. I walked over to the dining room table and picked the biggest object up and off the table and dealt with it. It was a cardboard box with something in it. I dealt with the something in it and moved the box to be used for packing hte donate items. I then took the next biggest item and it was a shopping bag full of clothes (I confess) I took the items and put them away and then used the bag to fill up with the items I brought to donate today..
Sounds like you are on your way. Nothing like a plan.
And I work so much better when hubby helps me I feeel lke we are a team with the same common goal. We both created the mess we can both clean it up.
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Post by irisbloom on Sept 8, 2014 18:15:16 GMT -5
Amen to kitty power. The essay I finished the rough draft of today is actually about cats. Ironically my cat decided to jump into my lap as I was trying to finish it.
Between reading for school, writing my response journal, and finishing the essay I got little else done. I set some dishes to soak and will be sorting and washing another load of laundry in a bit. Also will clean the litter box and have already removed the clothes from the bathroom floor. Finishing the bathroom will be tomorrow after school, energy permitting. Wednesday my husband's off work but we have a lot of errands and I have some school business on top of it. We hope to get some work done that evening. My husband and I also plan to follow a crisis cleaning system Saturday when he's off work and I'm off school. If we work together and stay focused we can get the apartment back to a level 1 in one day then I can go to writing group that evening. Motivation follows action.
Goal is to get it to a level 1 this week then maintain throughout the following week and try for a .5 next Saturday.
This would be so much easier if my schedule wasn't so full.
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Post by bittyboo on Sept 8, 2014 20:13:21 GMT -5
You've already been given excellent advice, irisbloom, and I don't have anything else to add, but I'm sending you good thoughts and positive energy.
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Post by ohblondie on Sept 9, 2014 6:36:43 GMT -5
Irisbloom - I think your plan sounds great! But I have one suggestion - Work with hubby saturday and follow the Crisis Cleaning System that you plan on doing. Then - REGARDLESS if you finish or not- GO TO YOUR WRITING GROUP THAT EVENING!!! You must work hard but you must also plan time for relaxing and doing what brings your soul joy. Sunday will be another day where perhaps you can do some more work.
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Post by soapyclean on Sept 9, 2014 10:41:34 GMT -5
I wish depression were as easy to treat as a broken leg.
For me, it's an ongoing, often worsening problem. The most I seem to get from treatment is to feel sort of okay. I don't get joyous, or even happy. And eventually I go back down the tunnel on every single drug. I feel like I am the worst pile of genetics on the planet. I don't understand how these genes were carried forward as long as they were. I don't understand why there's not been suicide at every turn in my family. Maybe the truth is that I and my parents got the worst end of it, everyone else is fine.
Either way, the problem is always me. My poor husband just responds to whatever ability I have at a given time. Right now, my abilities are pretty poor. I'm not working, I'm not keeping the house clean--just doing a couple maintenance chores while letting everything else backslide. I don't know if I'll be able to find and keep work. At a time like this, I can't really afford to see the shrink, but I probably need to.
I just wish the science were hard and fast, like it is with a broken leg.
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Post by lostchild on Sept 9, 2014 11:14:00 GMT -5
You are in a bad place now but remember nothing is forever. Please try if you can to get some rest and to treat yourself better.
I understand the frustration with genetics and why me. I just try to remember why not me. I am not entitled nor do I have all the bad luck in the world... It just feels like it because I am depressed. I think that's where you are at right now. A bad place...
I have asthma and severe chemical imbalanced induced depression and ADHD too and allof those make it hard to clean ...on days when I may be up to it emotionally I still can't physically do it or I cant focus to be able to clean or I am allergic to the cleaning supplies.
I have found I have had reactions to large amounts of bleach and Pine-Sol yet to clean sometimes due to the severity of the dirt I have to use these products.
I take Latuda...it has very few side effects. I have a lot of energy and feel actually happy not just blah as you described and experienced which I also have experienced. It might be worth looking into. Also see if you have a Vitamin deficiency. That could account for you taking medication and still not feeling well. Look into information I gave you. I am hoping it helps. These are suggestions not commands...I say that because I want you to always feel free to ignore me if what I say doesn't help but I hope it does.
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Post by grasshopper on Sept 9, 2014 12:19:22 GMT -5
Community is an powerful thing. You have created so much change for yourself and others just by sharing. Thanks! I needed the boost as well, but didn't have the motivation to post until I saw your thread. Struggling with lifelong depression myself. So inspiring to see hope return to your posts.
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Post by desireelafleur on Oct 11, 2014 12:15:02 GMT -5
I wish I had seen this thread sooner. I can relate to what depression does to you. One thing that happens to me is that if I accomplish one thing I will often give myself permission or amnesty to quit everything else because to do that 1 thing...like cleaning the litter..means I don't have to do laundry or vacuum. But that means no progress and I forget to even maintain. Just the past few days I have taken a maintain +1 approach. It seems to be helping a bit. Also I have had intermittent success with as needed anxiety medication. If I feel myself stressing over a chore I take an anxiety pill. It helps. I've also heard things about St. John's Wort...I might try that.
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Post by larataylor on Oct 11, 2014 21:36:12 GMT -5
I'm so glad you got all those wonderful replies, and you're feeling better already. I've so been there, except that I have a med that works well for me without side effects. And that usually gets me up to where I can do some lifestyle stuff to help further.
Working on the depression first is what has always worked for me (when anything did). I never heard "Motivation follows Action" until I came here … but, maybe it does. Working on the bathroom sounds like a good plan.
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