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Post by PaperGrace on Oct 21, 2014 12:49:41 GMT -5
Give time. Think of something you can do. For busy parents a free day with little ones taken care of is priceless. Amen. If someone gave me five hours of babysitting I think I'd have a statue erected in their honor.
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obliquity
New Member
Creating room for personal growth...
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 57
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Post by obliquity on Oct 21, 2014 13:19:58 GMT -5
Thank you very much for all your replies! There are so many good ideas -- I'm glad I started the thread. I guess that the problem will be "changing the currency" of our gifts. Sometimes, so far, we, too, have given consumables, but only in addition to a "real" gift. When I started the thread I thought that I'll change it once for all, but now I think of it more as a process. I think what my family and friends need to understand is my ambiguity toward "objects". Many thanks for your gift version of "amnesty", immaculata! I love "amnesty", and your example will hopefully help me to be more relaxed towards gifts in the future.
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Post by lyerin on Oct 23, 2014 9:21:08 GMT -5
It may seem impersonal, but I tend to do gift cards for adults and older kids. That way, they can get what they really want/need and aren't burdened with what *I* think they want or need. Sometimes I have a great idea for someone for a gift and I go with it, but other times, gift cards save the day! Last Christmas, my mom tried on a coat at a local store and loved it, but she put it back because she didn't want to spend the money on herself. I went back the next day and got it on sale (and my sister and I pooled our money for it). I knew the size and color that she wanted, and I knew that she would love it. Perfect!
One thing my family loves giving and receiving are gift cards for the movie theater. It is awesome because movies are expensive and a free movie day out is fun for everyone.
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Post by immaculata on Oct 23, 2014 9:23:37 GMT -5
Movie gift certificates are a brilliant idea!
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Post by Jannie on Oct 23, 2014 9:44:08 GMT -5
My late MIL used to have a "one in-one out" approach to Christmas gifts. She accepted her gifts with big thanks, then took her gifts and put them away in her home but ALSO donated an equal number of older items to her church. My bestest friend ever gives a donation to charity and then explains to friends she does not give gifts to them also. Both options are fine with me. I love, love, love, anything handmade, however simple. One year a cousin decorated glass jars with paint and ribbons and lace, filled with her home-made cookies, and gave these as Christmas gifts. I loved it and still have my jar which I bring out each year as a holiday decoration.Some relatives thought it was "cheap" to do this. I thought it was charming!
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Post by ohblondie on Oct 23, 2014 11:42:46 GMT -5
These are great ideas. I love the idea of the "experiental" one - where you go to the movies or the arcade as a group. That sounds like fun.
Razy - I love the idea of buying your own gift then telling the friend what they got you! "Dear friend - thank you so much for the XYZ. It is exactly what I wanted - down to the size and color. I will use it daily and think of you often"
I tend to give gift cards. My parnts love certain restaurants. I used to buy them cards so that they could stop and eat on their way to Floriday every year. They have stopped that trip - but I still give them the gift cards because they love to take the grandchidren out for bagels after church!
I give my kids cards for gas, dunkin donuts, and sometimes Wally world. They don't need clothes (but my son needs work boots. we are starting to get over run with games...though I do like to buy a family game every year that we can play together on christmas eve or christmas day.
My mom's cousin makes a donation to Heifer project every year in our honor. I just LOVE that gift. Heifer International is the one international charity that we support. The rest are local and hands on charities.
I give my aunt gift cards to the local drug store - she likes that. One year I gave her two bottles of wine that had a circus tent on them. She really liked that!!
My biggest struggle is the stocking stuffers. That end up being candy and dollar store trash.
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Post by PaperGrace on Oct 23, 2014 11:53:25 GMT -5
We have the game tradition too blondie. It's kind of gotten out of control. Mom has a closet full of games that were played once or twice while we are there for Christmas, and then never see the light of day again. I think I'll bring that up with her this year and see if we can't agree to donate many of them. I bet we could wrap up some from Christmases past and no one would notice.
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Post by larataylor on Oct 23, 2014 12:09:24 GMT -5
When I had spending money, I built up a gift stash that lasted through many lean years. Those were things I just wanted to buy, and the gift stash was an excuse, I guess! People liked them, but mostly didn't *need* them.
I tell all my friends/family that they are free to give away any gifts I've given them that don't currently serve them. I let them know that I will do the same.
I think our clutter-weary culture is moving more and more in the direction of simplicity and consumable/experiential gifts. The "Christmas List" used to seem kind of greedy to me, but now I'm really grateful to know what people actually need, and to let them know what I need. However, I rarely have enough money to get people things they can't afford for themselves. I try to scrape up enough money to make cookies for a fair number of special people.
My DH once painted a small animal skull from his collection for some boys in our life, and told them a story about it, and together they hid it inside a wall in their house. The boys loved this, but their dad was somewhat offended that it didn't cost any money, and thought it was "weird." Oh, well.
I try to get my daughter something she really wants at Christmas.
I have one friend who is great at buying everyday consumables and some special treats, and wrapping them up in a lovely way. They are fun to open, not expensive, and will be used up.
Oh, and last year, DD gave me a fat, hand-written coupon book of things she would do for me.
Don Aslett, in Clutter's Last Stand, says some good stuff about gifts, comparing a gift of roses to a gift of a large stuffed animal. They cost about the same, and both make the recipient feel happy and loved. But the roses are disposed of without angst, and the stuffed animal hangs around until it's annoying clutter. Making people feel happy and loved without contributing to their clutter problems is really best.
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