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Post by dirtbee on Dec 16, 2014 4:58:05 GMT -5
Does anyone else struggle with guilt about throwing things away? I am having trouble working out what to do with items I want to get rid of and anxiety about just tossing them.
It used to make me feel good if I could bag stuff up and donate it to a charity, but lately I have been reading that a lot of charities get absolutely swamped by donations that they cannot do much with and it ends up costing them money to dispose of it. Apparently this is particularly true with clothing.
When we were little mum would occasionally bag some things up for charity and tell us it was going to people who needed it more etc, and taughtus that this was a good thing. But clothing is so dirt cheap now – brand new clothing – that I think second-hand stuff cannot be so easily sold by charity shops. I’d hate to think I was putting more of a burden on a charity by making them dispose of my crappy old clothing.
But when I think about just throwing things in the trash it makes me feel really guilty and anxious. I start thinking about the sheer waste and also the impact on the planet. Then I spin into cycles of anxiousness and guilt about how I have contributed to our consumer culture, and about all the earth’s resources that got wasted on whatever crap I am throwing out that I haven’t used or worn or that I let get ruined. And then that makes it harder to throw away. Does anyone volunteer for a charity or know much about what they can and cannot use? Any guidelines on donating clothing? And any helpful ways to think about the environmental consequences of hoarding and the desqualoring process? I don’t know if I’m nuts but just looking at my bags of trash to throw out (none of which can be recycled) makes me feel guilty about contributing to landfill rather than excited to be getting it out of my house....
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Post by rededen on Dec 16, 2014 5:51:18 GMT -5
Dirtbee Darl, I also worry about this. Yes many things go into land fill but eventually they do break down. I have written in other posts that even nuclear power stations that have gone gang busters (that's a very Aussie term, btw) and no-one can go there anymore (think Chernobyl) do eventually breakdown. Might take a mere 250,000 years or so but eventually people will be able to go into Chernobyl again. That's if in the mean time we haven't blown ourselves up; been hit by a large asteroid; been invaded by aliens; succumbed to some disease or just died out in the natural course of things.
You have used the word ''mum" not "mom" so you're not in Canada or the USA. In Australia, you'd be surprised what can actually be recycled. Your 'crappy old clothing' could probably be recycled, but you'd have to inquire to the local authorities. Where ever you are, ask your local council or whatever. They may be able to help. I think the secret to this problem is not to buy/obtain so much in the first place! You are going to have to dispose of your rubbish. Give yourself permission to do so. You're part of the planet too, you know. And if you're healthy, the planet will be healthier for it.
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Post by sunny on Dec 16, 2014 7:18:12 GMT -5
Hugs. Personally, I think that when a person is trying to get out of clutter that environmental thinking is not only counterproductive, it's actually self sabotage. Kind of like an alcoholic focusing on ideas about liquor. Fine for the average person, but actually triggering and dangerous for them or us. Just my two cents. For me, worrying about the landfill means I've been making progress and so my anxiety is peeking its head out to try and keep me overwhelmed and on the gerbil treadmill of thinking thoughts versus doing action .
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Post by lesaulerouge on Dec 16, 2014 7:18:42 GMT -5
Clothes that are too small but still good enough to wear I give to friends and family, though that is getting harder as my kids are super tall and mega skinny and family kids tend to be a very different build. I have a relative who is a vicar so anything that our family don't want gets given to families that she knows are in need, I know that she has even passed on shoes and underwear in this way. My clothes, or things that I don't think any friends/family will want go to charity.
A lot of clothing that cannot be sold by the charities as clothing are sold by weight for rags, or to be turned into other recyclable materials, so tbh even clothes that they cannot sell are sold for their profit/benefit. For this reason I give anything that I don't have somebody to hand it down to.
Even bras, knickers, pants etc are made use of - I have seen films of deliveries of greyed old bras arriving in African villages and the delight of the women receiving them. Really grotty knicks, anything that is really falling apart etc I wouldn't pass on, but my kids outgrown ones I do so long as they are clean but just too small. Dh wears his boxers until they turn into rags for car renovation work, but I know my mum has donated my brother's that were too small and not worn out because the Salvation Army was asking for men's underwear and pyjamas and so on for homeless people, people who had just lost everything in fires etc as emergency relief.
We can donate toys, furniture, bric a brac, electrical goods, etc to Emmaüs, so I wait until I have a car full and take stuff there. It is a 30 minute drive away, hence waiting until I have a load. I am grateful for this place because electrical things are generally not accepted by charity shops. They will either mend and sell, or take apart and use the components. I even give them tiny things like McDonalds toys, they make up grab bags to sell.
We recycle everything we can, we have bags collected once a week in which we can put plastics, cardboard and metal cans. I take glass to the village bottle bank. We have compost bins in the garden that we bought at a price subsidised by the local council, I don't buy that much prepackaged food. We generally throw away just one to two bin bags a week, often one one week and two the next when I empty all the bins around the house.
I think we do all we can, because yes it bothers me. I accept though that we are lucky enough to have the possibility to do so.
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Post by lesaulerouge on Dec 16, 2014 7:21:07 GMT -5
I think you have a little one. I know that when mine were small and I didn't have anybody to give stuff to I gave some of their outgrown things to the local daycare crèche and to the nursery school so that they had spare clothes for wet knickers accidents, muddy puddles, spillages, sick etc and they were grateful. I did ask them first whether they wanted them.
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Post by shosha on Dec 16, 2014 7:26:46 GMT -5
Yes, but not nearly as badly as I used to. These have helped me: - First and foremost, there's no sense saving things from the landfill by turning my home into a landfill. I'm not saying I don't still end up with too much stuff, stuff that I feel guilty getting rid of, but I'm improving, and I can generally (once I feel well enough to attempt a purge) chuck things relatively easily.
- The stuff we already have, we can't change (other than by getting rid of it). What we might be able to do is be a bit more discerning about what we bring in in the first place. Do I really need to buy that paperback, or could I get it on my kindle, or from the library? Do I *need* another teapot? (No, on reflection, I have at least three dotted around the flat, and at least one is in usable condition, subject to needing a bit of a wipe. And, now I've remembered about it, I remember it's really pretty! Hooray!) Again, I still get a bit carried away with Shiny New Things, and this is an area I need to work on, but it's easier to avoid bringing home needless things than it is to deal with getting rid of them or shuffling them aroudn the house.The better we can do at this, the less we'll have to worry about what to do with stuff in the future.
- Trying to cut shame spirals out before they have a chance to set in. Jerkbrain starts telling me I'm awful and wasteful and terrible and things? Well, brain, shut up. I'm far from perfect, but I'm trying, and, dear brain, you aren't helping. Perhaps, instead, you'd like to count to a thousand? One, two, three, four, I'm terrible and SHUSH, five, six, seven, eight, no but look at this, it's broken, I SAID BE QUIET, nine, ten, eleven... Doesn't always work, but my jerkbrain is getting quieter these days, and more inclined to shuffle off when it's told to.
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Post by sunny on Dec 16, 2014 8:06:11 GMT -5
:shoshatikvah: I love how you mentioned the shame spiral. It's to blame for many of my poor choices!
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Post by joyinvirginia on Dec 16, 2014 9:39:36 GMT -5
The concept of amnesty really helped me. I do not need to save the world! That said, call the charity you may donate to or stop by and ask them. Over the years these are some general guidelines that places I donate to have in place: Clothing: no underwear unless its new in original packaging Clean, not torn, no spots of wear, no missing buttons, etc Appliances: must work. Usually no TVs unless new flat screen style (I did find one church yard sale that took working old style TV that had DVD player built in) Furniture: good condition, no tears, NO PET HAIR, if its upholstered the charity has to pay to have it cleaned Rugs: no stains or notable wear Mattresses: only new, once again this is stuff that must be cleaned before sale and cost to charity would be excessive Bedding, linens, curtains, similar items: must be clean, not torn We had some, what I thought were acceptable items, two couches we were donating, along with some tables and miscellaneous household items. Charity sent a truck and.. The couches were unacceptable, pet hair still on it, they would not take. We ended up taking that to dump. Also, what goes top the dump gets compressed, compacted, and maybe will turn into a park like Mount Trashmore in Virginia Beach, VA. We recycle paper, plastic, metal, and it goes in a big container in the garage until we go to the trash/recycle station, so its not cluttering up the house. If I could not dispose of it in s timely way to keep the house tidy, I would put it in the trash. When you are trying to care for yourself and your family and pets, that has to be the priority. Get your environment nice to start with, then worry about the greater environment
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Post by boyswillbeboys on Dec 16, 2014 10:31:04 GMT -5
You are not going to change the environment by turning your home into an extention of the landfill, you will just make yourself miserable in the process. I think the best way to deal with this is to be more considerate of what we bring in, rather than what we send out. you are in a place where things need to go out, plain and simple, then watch what you are bringing in so it doesn't have to go out later.
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Post by dtesposito on Dec 16, 2014 10:44:44 GMT -5
Yes dirtbee, I do, but I try to keep things in perspective. My wanting to recycle something that would be a huge effort for me to do, backs up all my forward progress and makes me lose my enthusiasm for cleaning. And it's a tiny drop in the bucket when you think of the pollution that a huge corporation puts out every minute of the day! Does that mean individuals shouldn't do their part? No, of course not. But the key to remember is don't lose momentum now for a miniscule gain, compared to a huge gain for yourself AND the environment LATER.
When you have your house under control, you can set up easy to use recycle bins, you can set up efficient donation trips, and most importantly, you can review how you're buying and discarding things. But you'll NEVER get to that point if your home and mind are in chaos. You'll live your whole life doing harm to the environment and to yourself and your home. Do whatever it takes to get your place to a clean, organized state, and don't worry about anything else now--you'll be able to take a lot better care of the environment long term when that's done.
Diane
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Post by cyn on Dec 16, 2014 10:57:23 GMT -5
That used to be a major stumbling block for me too. Not just with clothing, but plastic materials especially. At my last job, we used to buy bags of used clothing from a thrift store, that we used for rags - stained or out of season. My hoarding made sure that none of the good stuff went to waste, ha. I'd keep it, or give it to friends. Some of the stuff was just too nice to ruin. So even the yucky items were generating a profit for the store, which was run by volunteers and the profit went to the local humane society. All the blankets and towels went directly to the animals.
The plastics took me forever to be able to toss, instead of recycle. But opening lids, and cleaning the mess inside, worried me: how bad was it to inhale those spores? IDK, so now I try to use that as a reason not to shove things to the back of the fridge, and get the containers into the recycling in a timely fashion.
The only things I refuse to toss are batteries, or any toxic materials. I had a huge collection of old batteries, and it turned out that a local wildlife rescue center was doing a battery drive with the city, and the city was paying the rescue for every battery turned in under their name. That was a great way to donate, win/win! I have some CFL lightbulbs waiting for a special trip to the dump atm. I also bring old paint to be recycled. I have a big problem with disposing of things in a manner that I feel is responsible, but my impact is *such* an insignificant, measly little amount that it's absolutely meaningless in the big picture - so when I toss something, I remind myself of this. I did google how to dispose of bleach, when I found out mine had expired yesterday, though!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Dec 16, 2014 11:04:52 GMT -5
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Post by dirtbee on Dec 16, 2014 22:37:28 GMT -5
Thanks so much everyone for your replies. I think I really need to change my thoughts on this one - I can't let this anxiety stop my progress or I will just be hurting me and minibee. shosha, your dot points are a great starting place to think more helpfully about this. I especially love making my jerkbrain count to 1000 if it steps out of line And lesaulerouge, reading your post made me realise that I actually already do do a lot. I recycle everything I can, don't use plastic bags and minibee is dressed entirely in hand-me-downs. You also inspired me to google and see if there are other charities and community organisations that I might be able to gift stuff to. Turns out there is a woman only a short drive away who will take all my old bras which she sends to women in developing countries - she said she would like anything but that any old maternity bras are absolute gold. Jackpot! Also, I think I do just need to give myself an amnesty. So I am going to: - Donate as much as I can
- Give myself a break about the huge amount of trash I need to get rid of
- Focus on not bringing so much stuff into my house in the future.
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Post by Arid on Dec 16, 2014 23:01:14 GMT -5
If you seriously are concerned about your impact on the environment, there are lots of things that you can do going forward to reduce your "carbon footprint." Some folks are going so far as taking steps to "live off the grid." That is, they are trying to live a completely sustainable lifestyle--independent of electricity (unless it is solar generated), etc.), growing their own food, etc. I'm not suggesting that you go *that* far! !! I would suggest that you go as "natural" as is practical for you. For example, buy only clothing made from "natural" materials--wool, cotton, hemp, etc. Instead of buying fruit juice in a plastic container, buy the whole fruit. It is 100% biodegradable; it won't cause as extreme a spike in your blood sugar as pure juice (or even worse--juice "cocktails!!") will, and you will get a dose of healthy fiber at the same time. If you want, you can begin composting the fruit "leftovers" (the rinds, peelings, fruit that went bad before you could use it, etc.). Use paper grocery bags instead of plastic ones. . . . and so forth . . . Arid
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Post by lesaulerouge on Dec 17, 2014 1:45:59 GMT -5
Arid, I don't think it is going too far, but those are things that are best eased into as a natural progression. For example when we needed to replace our heating boiler we went for a wood granule boiler which is almost carbon neutral (it does have an electric pump), and alongside that we have solar panels for heating the water tank, with the boiler just taking up any slack. Likewise we have vegetable plots and grow a lot of our own, strawberry beds, fruit trees etc. We are nowhere near self sustainable, and are not aiming to be, but I do feel a little cross with some attitudes that why should one person worry. If everyone felt that way nothing would change, actually every single person should try and do their bit because otherwise things will not improve, and things seriously need to. Using cloth nappies was important to us for environmental reasons, but more so for not having the chemicals in them in contact with our babies' skin - and turns out they both have allergic and reactive skin, so that was probably a good decision for us and for the planet. I am not saying that you should never throw away anything because it could be given somewhere, nor that you cannot claim amnesty every now and then, but I do feel this should be an end resort measure or a digging out one, not a daily one. Dirtbee, it does sound like you are doing great, and yay to finding somebody that will take more of the stuff that you are trying to get rid of. With an approach like that I think that throwing away some stuff is totally acceptable !
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