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Post by Unswamping on Mar 14, 2015 11:59:15 GMT -5
At razy's suggestion, im starting a thread. I have just read the last page of your blog. Your struggle with the cork trivets got me thinking... Do we need a pinned thread in 'General' - "Should I keep this?" It is a common struggle, making the decision to keep or toss. People could post their struggle to the thread. They could even post pictures. Just writing about the thing may bring clarity to the decision. Or the item can be put to one side while others post their opinions and advice. Personally I think we don't do enough of the 'tough love' around here sometimes. I think sometimes we can be so supportive we sneak into enabling territory. We can be useful to each other by helping make these types of decisions and stopping people getting stuck and caught up in details. We can't be there to help people clean up in person but we can do more than offer moral support. If I had known you were struggling with old cork trivets I would have told you to throw them away or put them down and move onto something else and come back to them. I'm not even sure what cork trivets are but I am sure they are not worth all this energy! Good work getting things done and out of the house!
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Post by Unswamping on Mar 14, 2015 12:05:11 GMT -5
Item: old, grease soaked, dirty cork trivets
Why i want to keep them: they might be useful for something, some kind of craft project or a bulletin board
Why i should get rid of them: i bought (and have been using) replacements for several years
Final disposition : trash can
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Post by chadow on Mar 14, 2015 12:36:31 GMT -5
Good choice! I have had difficulty with these type of decisions too. As often as possible I try to remind myself how long it has been since I used or needed an object or started the unfinished project and weigh that with the cost of keeping it. This works well with things that I can replace or have replaced already, but I get frozen over things that belonged to my late sister and late husband. The "it could be worth something some day" stuff costs money to store and energy to fix salvage and restore if the value isn't there today I try to get it gone. Cheryl
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Post by razy on Mar 14, 2015 17:43:59 GMT -5
Inspired by this I am going straight to my wardrobe and taking out a pair of pants I have had for more than 5 years and have never worn.
I could give you the long story why this is the case but as I start to think about it I realise it is not even worth my time explaining it - for a pair of pants, I have never worn, never will that didn't cost much.
They are going straight into the give away box
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Post by Di on Mar 14, 2015 18:00:31 GMT -5
I wish I could fully embrace my mother's mantra. "when in doubt, toss it out!"
Instead I struggle.
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Post by papermoon on Mar 14, 2015 18:15:25 GMT -5
Swampy and razy! I agree, we need to be aware of enabling and instead give our fellow strugglers more tough love and less misery-loves-company. I hope this thread won't devolve into the latter. For me... I bought a new fan yesterday to replace one that lasted 10 years. This fan has only a 1-year warranty. The new fan works like a dream, but already I'm thinking: What if it breaks? Then I'll need to keep the box to take it back. It's a huge box. *Should* I keep it? Maybe I can use it as a container for something else, etc etc etc.... The rationalizing could go on and on. But I recognize it for what it is... tediously rationalizing the case for irrational hoarding. The box goes out to recycling, period. This weekend I'm doing some decluttering of kitchen and bathroom cabinets a la Slow Your Home handbook. So I'll probably be back here with more questions. To answer razy's question... As soon as the old fan broke down, I took it apart, threw the smallest bits down the landfill chute, then gave the remains to the maintenance man to dispose of. I didn't dare leave it in the trash room lest somebody in the building would take it and start an electrical fire.
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Post by razy on Mar 14, 2015 18:23:44 GMT -5
Good work papermoon! Has the old fan gone too? Di - you can use this thread to talk through your struggles and the rest of us can help you out. I removed the pants, plus another pair and a dress from the wardrobe. Then I hung my work shirts in the wardrobe (they have lived outside the wardrobe for months) I might go back for another shirt in the wardrobe yet.
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Post by Unswamping on Mar 14, 2015 19:55:33 GMT -5
razy great job on getting rid of those pants and getting your work clothes into the wardrobe. Thank you again for suggesting this thread. Di please use this thread if you think it would help to have objective feedback on things. We cant be there in your house but we are here. papermoon great work on getting rid of the old fan and the new box!
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 14, 2015 20:33:15 GMT -5
item: little seated fairy statue made of some kind of ceramic-looking resin, with broken wing and foot that belonged to dear friend who died in 2013. fairy used to perch on one of my friend's flower pots. why kept: the fairy was beautiful and she reminded me of my friend's essence. i thought i might be able to use some part of her in a craft project - or a little shrine of some sort why release: i can't fix her (don't have foot) and i probably won't use her in a project. i have hordes of hoarded "knick knacks." i also have other things of this person's - that she made or gave me, that are in better shape and usefulness, to remind me of her. the thing is NOT her. it just reminded me of her. i have my memories to remind me, and the mementoes that i enjoy and are useful. process and final destination: i thanked the fairy for reminding me of my friend (yes, talking to my things works for ME and my spirituality/cosmology. so please respect that. ) gently placed in the bottom of the trash bag. still having pangs about just tossing her in the trash, but it feels right.
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Post by papermoon on Mar 14, 2015 21:20:31 GMT -5
CC, even though I can't speak for your dear friend, I'm inclined to think she wouldn't want you to keep something broken as a reminder of her, not when you have other good things that aren't problematic.
I encourage you to leave it in the trash bag, and to empty the trash asap.
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Post by Unswamping on Mar 14, 2015 21:27:54 GMT -5
CC, i can understand why you kept it. Papermoon is right, your friend wont want you to keep something broken. he/she would want you to be happy. Im glad you could think of your friend and that you gracefully let the fairy go. What a beautiful thought to thank it for being in your life. I think i will try that.
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Post by Unswamping on Mar 14, 2015 21:38:12 GMT -5
Item: broken cookie jar that has been partially glued together. This item was a special cookie jar owned by someone important to me in my childhood. Someone who loved me unconditionally and respected who i was. Spending tine with her was rare and wonderful. She would bake cookies and fill the jar. It was such a special thing to look at the jar and know that the cookies in it were baked with love for me. The cookie jar was given to me as an adult and i always felt loved when i looked at it. Unfortunately it was broken in a move, shattered into many pieces. I tried to glue it back together but its just too bad. This person has passed away and while i have other items from this person, this has been special.
Why i want to keep it: for the happy childhood memories
Why i should get rid of it: it looks terrible and has sharp edges
I realized tonight looking at it, that it broke at least 20 years ago. Ive been meaning to take a picture of it and then let it go but im struggling. I think i may try what creativechaos did.
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Post by razy on Mar 14, 2015 21:44:18 GMT -5
I am going to say the same thing to you that you said to creativechaos - would this person who loved you want you to keep something broken, that is cluttering up your life and getting in your way of doing the things you want to do? Remember the good memories, say goodbye and put it in the trash. See how it feels.
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Post by papermoon on Mar 14, 2015 21:50:57 GMT -5
Dear Unswamping ~ Put it in the trash. Don't bother to take a picture its brokenness either. IMO, that would be disrespectful of your friend. Take out the trash asap and close the loop. Keep the good memories of your friend intact.
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Post by Unswamping on Mar 14, 2015 21:57:20 GMT -5
Youre right razy and papermoon. The brokeness is a bad memory, anger at the person who broke it and it taints the good memories when i look at it. Its going out now. Thank you.
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