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Post by papermoon on Mar 14, 2015 22:11:23 GMT -5
Swampy When I was in college, my new boyfriend mentioned a record album he used to have but then he said: "A friend of mine broke it for me." Not "a friend of mine broke it" but "broke it *for me*." He made me laugh at the time, and ever since I've used the same phrasing whenever somebody broke something of mine. Sounds silly, but it actually helps take the edge off and makes it easier to let go of my anger along with letting go of the broken thing. In Zen we learn that sooner or later everything gets broken. Knowing that, knowing for example, that intrinsic in a bowl is its brokenness, we can let it go when it breaks... and until then, we can more deeply appreciate things that are here for our enjoyment now.
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 14, 2015 22:27:22 GMT -5
this was written after the fact so please ignore it if the artist part about mosaics seems enabling - or just tell me to knock it off! WTG swampy on tossing the anger at the breaker out with the broken thing - and keeping only the sweet memory of the person who loved and believed in your unconditionally from when you were a child and needed it most. now we can love and believe in your unconditionally here - and you honored this person by letting go of the brokenness (how symbolic!). same as my friend, this person wouldn't want this broken thing burdening your life or having you remember him or her through something broken. this person would want the BEST for you. that being said - i am an artist and mosaicist. i love making things out of bits and pieces of brokenness. but i actually do it - use broken stuff and make treasures out of it. IF there were a use like that and i knew i would do it, i would keep at least part of something to use it. feng shui people say that broken things block all kinds of good things from entering our lives. i wonder what they think of pique-assiette mosaics! ty papermoon. the fairy is still peacefully resting in the trash, already being covered over by more throw-aways. i love what you shared about zen and brokenness being one part of a cycle - and appreciation of all that is here now. thank you for that!
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 14, 2015 22:34:18 GMT -5
Wow! This is a great thread - and y'all are doing a great job!!!!!
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Post by papermoon on Mar 14, 2015 22:41:50 GMT -5
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Post by papermoon on Mar 14, 2015 22:43:33 GMT -5
CC, knock it off!
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Post by ellen on Mar 15, 2015 1:09:14 GMT -5
Creative Chaos, I had to smile at your post about mosaics. I have long wanted to make something like that. I haven't actually saved the broken dishes or whatever, but I always admire mosaics that I see on line or even in shops. I do have a little garden table that has a mosaic concrete top that I got at a flea market years ago. I use it and I love it. Well, today, I brought home an iron table base that is missing the top. I have a piece of glass that perfectly fits it, but it evidently had a different kind of top originally because it has a rim about an inch tall all the way around it. Not sure if I could find a way to mold a concrete top for it so I could make a mosaic, or maybe I will find a way to "block" it up and use the glass top and glue flat marbles to the underside of the glass. I have two big jars of flat marbles. I guess if push came to shove, I have a friend who is a wood worker and I could get her to make me a round wooden top for it. That might look nice too. I have a real weakness for garden-y type stuff. My goal is to get my porch and yard in order so I can make use of it.
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Post by papermoon on Mar 15, 2015 1:25:39 GMT -5
CC, *now* look what you've done. But seriously, I hope more members will start using this thread to work through their struggles. I want to thank Swampy for starting this thread and for slapping me awake about a couple of hoarded things... Every week when I refill supplies in my glucose testing case, I turn a blind eye to the two travel cases that have been sitting there unused for ages. I've kept them Justin Case... I might need one for travel. (Haven't actually traveled anywhere in the past 9 years.) Today after reading this thread, I tried fitting my supplies into them. One was OK, which I kept; the other was impossibly small and I donated it to the Free Box. Nothing dramatic, but still I'm glad to be rid of that little hanger-on, as well as the 9-year-old nagging thought that I should do something about it.
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Post by Unswamping on Mar 15, 2015 8:24:02 GMT -5
CC, you read my mind. For a long time i did consider doing that with the cookie jar. I realized that i didnt want to see it in pieces. More than that, i didnt want the person who had owned it to be in pieces. She had alot of health issues before she passed, i wanted her to be healthy and whole again. I do like mosaics and they have their place. Ive made some very nice garden stones out of marbles and broken glass and pottery. I dont regret letting it go this morning. Last night i dreamed about this person, healthy and whole again. I dreamt about chains that couldnt be broken by any one or anything. Chains of love. I have gifts from this person that no one can ever break or take away from me. My love of baking, gardening, sewing. Her validation of my creativity. Her love and kindness.
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Post by Jannie on Mar 16, 2015 7:23:31 GMT -5
Sometimes I ask myself: 1. Would my Cleanie Sister want this or keep this? (Usually "no")
2. Would my daughters want me to keep this? Absolutely no!
It makes it easier to step out of yourself and try to be a disinterested onlooker. No, no one wants some disgusting dirty grease-stained corks.
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Post by wit on Mar 16, 2015 8:03:06 GMT -5
I read the posts about broken things and mosaics with interest, and was reminded of something that happened once with my grandmother.
My grandmother is a potter, and one day she asked me for help in cleaning out some shelves in her studio. I would take things out and hold them up and she would say trash or keep. I held up some bowls, one had a chip in the rim, and another had a patch where the glaze was missing. She said "toss, I have plenty of good ones and I can make more". Then I held up a bag of broken shards, and she said "keep, I use them in the kiln" (I forget for what). Then I held up a bag of dry leaves, and she said "keep, it's for raku firing". The one thing that I would have kept, that's what she trashed, and the things I would have trashed she kept. It's all in your perspective!!!
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Post by Di on Mar 16, 2015 9:22:11 GMT -5
Don't forget that our perspective changes over time. Don't look at a box and think, "I've been through that. I need that stuff" Fairly recently I went through boxes that were in the garage. I had "purged" before I packed and moved. When I went through the boxes, I was disgusted with myself. I kept MAYBE 2-3 items per box. I don't know what I was thinking when I wasted time packing and moving that crap!
It's amazing how a 2nd or 3rd or 4th pass eliminates more stuff. I don't think that we can see our stuff as the millstone that is on the first sorting, but as we slowly start to appreciate cleanliness and space, we find that our stuff loses importance.
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Post by danny15 on Mar 16, 2015 13:02:39 GMT -5
creativechaos, I do the same with beloved but need to be trashed items. I thank them for the service and pleasure they've given and release them to rest. I place the item in a separate bag so it doesn't feel like I've put it in the *trash*. When I go to the dump I let it slide gently by itself down the slope to the freight train like dumpster that is out of my sight. Yes I am one of those people who feel like some things (stuffed animals, toys) have feelings even when I know rationally they don't. It can make parting with them difficult.
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Post by razy on Mar 16, 2015 15:14:08 GMT -5
This thread helped me so much yesterday and I didn't even need to post anything. As I was cleaning the kitchen I came across a salt shaker and a snack bar that had me thinking 'should I shouldn't I'. Then I thought I could come post here - then I thought about what I would say about them and I made the decision to toss! I went through the same process with my old running shoes. They were much harder to toss, in fact I nearly went back for them but I thought of this thread and what I could say in defence of keeping them and it didn't out weigh chucking them. I also threw out a half finished cardigan I must of started knitting years and years ago. It was in a box in the hall cupboard and I had completely forgotten about it. I thought that was good enough reason to chuck it. Also I did remember the yarn was damaged, lots of breaks so it would not have been worth unpulling (my first thought). It's gone, the rest of the damaged yarn is gone, some pattern books that were also in the box are in the give away pile along with the excess knitting needles. Now there is just an empty space in the cupboard.
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Post by angela on Mar 16, 2015 18:22:56 GMT -5
Amazing Razy, empty space! You really did well with your decisions yesterday.
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 16, 2015 23:09:32 GMT -5
Don't forget that our perspective changes over time. Don't look at a box and think, "I've been through that. I need that stuff" Fairly recently I went through boxes that were in the garage. I had "purged" before I packed and moved. When I went through the boxes, I was disgusted with myself. I kept MAYBE 2-3 items per box. I don't know what I was thinking when I wasted time packing and moving that crap! It's amazing how a 2nd or 3rd or 4th pass eliminates more stuff. I don't think that we can see our stuff as the millstone that is on the first sorting, but as we slowly start to appreciate cleanliness and space, we find that our stuff loses importance. Di - YES! - and well put! this is why OHIO (only handle it once) does NOT work for me. if i have to handle a box of stuff 5 times to get rid of things in it little by little, that is ok with me. as i improve my life, the thoughts change bit by bit with those improvements. i can "see" more clearly each time what i will use, or what i truly love - even out of the many "treasures" that i love. razy - i love it - you processed these releases all by your own thought processes, showing us how it can be done! congratulations and THANKS! WTG Unswamping, for remembering your beloved one intact and whole and tossing that cookie jar! regarding mosaic, art, creativity: i was in storage yesterday and looked at some of the MANY boxes of hoarded orphan ceramics i was going to break up, or are already broken or chipped. i see it now as a burden. my habit is to "save the best stuff and use the not so great stuff first." i do this with fabric too. !!! ? WHY? i'm almost 62. i will DIE before i ever get to my best stuff! i have a LOT of mosaic stuff in storage. i have a LOT of fabric. i want to use the "best" stuff NOW while i am alive. papermoon and others who have posted here have helped me realize that the present is everything. excess possessions keep me from the now. if i'm not worth using my best and most loved stuff right now, when will i ever use it? i'll bet that by the time i get into my mosaic hoard, i will have a pretty good idea of what i LOVE and WILL USE. i will toss/donate what i can the first pass. i will keep making passes through this stuff. i want/need to clear out to make space for creating again. i don't have endless time to make this happen if i want to *really* do my art. there's a whole lot of anxiety tied up in fear of failure and not being "good enough" but really - who has a chance at being good when they are not using things that delight and inspire them to do their best work? i'm not talking about the best, most expensive materials. i'm talking about the LOVE that fuels all creativity - if that makes sense. loving what you are using. liking the feel of the teapot in your hand. etc. the other thing i find myself thinking, as an "arty type," is this flawed thought: "i'll practice on/with this inferior material that i don't really LIKE" - huh? what a self- sabotaging and self-defeating thing to do, creatively. i'm glad to see these thoughts for what they truly are. they have held me back for a lifetime. should i keep these thoughts? H*LL NO!it comes back to being here now - not living for some future someday or staying stuck in some reminisced past or fear arising from a not-so-great past. on that note, i made a pass through my photo box and got rid of 50 more photos and hundreds of negatives - that is a good beginning. i don't have to be responsible for saving all this stuff. these people live in my heart - or if they are out of my life in some painful way, why do i wish to be reminded of them? bon voyage to their photos - and i wish them well!
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