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Post by wind on Apr 24, 2015 18:52:24 GMT -5
I'm going to guess that a vast majority of people are at 3 or 4 when they join here. You have to know you have a MASSIVE problem to get up the nerve to join a forum with the name "squalor" in it.
I posted about it, but mostly in the WITs thread in the middle of the night (I had a toddler and had to do the nastiest and worst stuff after she was asleep.) WITs was good for me because I had to "reverse engineer" steps to get to even the most minor goal accomplished. Like, to shopvac a corner, I had to move a bunch of stuff to get to the power outlet closest, and then get to the shopvac (or FIND the shopvac), which involved moving a bunch of stuff, and then make decisions about what to do with the stuff I'd moved. It was a nightmare. I had to break it all down into teeny tiny baby steps of three to not just collapse in despair at the overwhelmingness of it all.
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Post by stevie on Apr 24, 2015 20:00:10 GMT -5
sparkle, at my worst I was (am) a solid Level 2 squaloree BUT I have the greatest and most regard for people who are in a worse place and have the guts to open up and be honest about it...truth, no judgement here and only admiration for that sort of bravery. If it helps, I found an old thread by Kimmy (She of the Sink Pudding) that is absolutely inspirational and gave me the courage to first post here. web.archive.org/web/20040815071304/http://juliemorgenstern.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000042.html
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Post by Unswamping on Apr 24, 2015 20:47:16 GMT -5
sparkle at my old house, i was a level 3-4. I moved a year and a half ago and was afraid i was going to slip back to my former level at the old house. That panic sent me looking for help and i found this forum. So while ive been here, the squalor hasnt been too bad. I am a hoarder and that has been a big focus for me since ive been here. Its impossible (at least for me) to have a clean house when i have rooms stacked to the ceiling with totes and boxes). I dont talk alot about the old house, for alot of reasons, mostly its in the past. I hope you can find that peopke here have struggled with that, and maybe are currently struggling with that. Maybe even some of the lurkers might get brave and start posting about their level four house.
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Post by bobolink on Apr 24, 2015 21:25:27 GMT -5
Okay, I think this is funny - the activity on the thread about inactivity is looking ... pretty active.
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Post by shellsncheese on Apr 24, 2015 21:36:39 GMT -5
sparkle You definitely are not alone. I started at level 3. I detail some of it here: takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/20451/shellsncheeses-blog?page=1If talking about it helps, then talk. I think you will be surprised how many of us have been there. I think it can be easy to come up with reasons to isolate ourselves. For me, I'm younger than I lot of the members here, but in reality, despite any difference we all have some thing in common. I tend to use the "latest" tab a lot and I'll post where ever I notice there is other people. Or I'll just pick a thread and talk to myself until someone shows up.
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Post by dtesposito on Apr 24, 2015 21:38:22 GMT -5
Okay, I think this is funny - the activity on the thread about inactivity is looking ... pretty active. Yep, typical of us--talking about posting about working, instead of posting about working. Diane
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Post by dtesposito on Apr 24, 2015 21:41:35 GMT -5
If talking about it helps, then talk. YES! If there's one place in the world people should be able to tell what their homes are like, it should be here. I'll just pick a thread and talk to myself until someone shows up. Diane
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Post by kirakira on Apr 24, 2015 21:48:36 GMT -5
anewleaf I've enjoyed your posts that I have read. Sometimes I'll have a whole response typed out, then think, "nobody cares what I have to say," and then I don't post. It's probably not true, I know. I bet there are other people here who feel that way. I'm grateful for everyone who is brave enough to post. It made me realize I wasn't alone in this.
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Post by larataylor on Apr 24, 2015 21:50:12 GMT -5
I know I'm guilty of starting threads and being really into them for a while, and then slacking off. I get one part of my life organized, and then move on to another. And sometimes the first one becomes disorganized again because I'm not paying attention to it.
However, it still feels like progress. If I had a really good system going, and I've stopped paying attention, I still have the vestiges of that system in place, and the knowledge of how I did it when I was doing it really well. It's easier to get back to. And it's actually impossible to pay that much attention to everything all the time … I need to shift my focus from one thing to another.
I think if an old thread interests you … comment on it and see if it revives.
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Post by lucie on Apr 25, 2015 2:19:33 GMT -5
stevie, Kimmy is with us on this board as Warrior Kimmy. The thread from Julie Morgenstern's site caused the Squalor survivors site and then people moved here.
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Post by anewleaf on Apr 25, 2015 3:57:41 GMT -5
Hello : A new leaf Threads dying after you put your two cents in is merely a coincidence. I find your posts to be very honest and informative not to mention entertaining (with a splash of naughty) at times. Keep being yourself! Well, I appreciate that, def6, but are you sure you're not mixing me up with another poster? Not sure I've ever let any naughtiness slip, but I suppose it's possible I love talking about art, crafts and creative things too. Its hard right now as this is the space im working on. I think other creative members might have the same problem. Its hard to talk about creative endeavors if you don't have the space and access to supplies because the house is hiarded or in squalor. If some one doesnt have functional living spaces like a kitchen and bathroom, its hard to be in a creative mindset. Starting your own blog in the private blog area might be a good idea. It would be a place for you to talk about creativity and you can welcome people to join you. Your blog is what you want it to be. I know that you're currently working on getting your creative space sorted out and I'm really rooting for you, Unswamping! Imagine how great it will be to have that dedicated space! I found myself eyeing a very plain (and pricey for what it was) desk the other day at at a Habitat for Humanity Store, as our kitchen table isn't even used for eating because of my various projects. And I can relate to not having a functional kitchen; right now, I mostly use the top of my washer to prepare food; usually just salads. And I have considered starting a creativity/design/re-design thread. Might just do it! I, too, read the "sink pudding" post on the old site and made my way to this site. I'm still grateful to the original site for bringing me here and to the OPs who posted pictures of their squalor. I know a lot of people don't have a lot of time, feel reticent to post, and so on. I took a hiatus myself during a very stressful living situation. I just wish people wouldn't put up a thread asking for help or suggestions, only to not return.
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Post by better on Apr 25, 2015 4:44:22 GMT -5
Personally, it is starting to peeve me off, putting in effort to respond to others pleas in a timely fashion, only to see them online reading my post immediately AND REPEATEDLY SO, only to get no replies TO THEIR OWN POST for ages. I have been patient and I have been understanding toooooooooooooooo much. When you are online, and a trusting person, it is easy to give too much and get used, and hard to tell the good from the bad.
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Post by wind on Apr 25, 2015 5:22:47 GMT -5
Personally, it is starting to peeve me off, putting in effort to respond to others pleas in a timely fashion, only to see them online reading my post immediately AND REPEATEDLY SO, only to get no replies TO THEIR OWN POST for ages. I have been patient and I have been understanding toooooooooooooooo much. When you are online, and a trusting person, it is easy to give too much and get used, and hard to tell the good from the bad. Try to not be angry. I don't think hardly anybody here is out to just...I don't know what you'd call it..."be an internet taker"? Sometimes people just don't know what to say, or they're battling depression, or coping with a crisis. Or a million other things. For whatever reason, they're not in a mental space to be an ideal poster. I'm positive I've been that person myself before, having been here for 6 years now. A lot of crappy life events have happened during that time, and I've had a couple of mental health breakdowns. I've probably been a good forum member at times and a terrible one at times, depending on my life circumstances and headspace.
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Post by better on Apr 25, 2015 5:34:15 GMT -5
Thankyou Wind for the beautiful and very real explanation which has given me a new perspective of more understanding. I really appreciate it cos it was starting to get me down.
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Post by Ally on Apr 25, 2015 7:05:09 GMT -5
I used to spend hours reading and responding to threads. I work full time, go to school part time, and live in squalor. I would to click on "Latest" over and over and keep reading and responding and get no real work done. Now most of the time I stick to a few different threads that I use regularly. I use the "Participated" button to find them. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not responding to those in the introductions threads... I'd love to be able to have that kind of time. I'm hoping that one I finish up this semester to be able to post more.
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