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Post by larataylor on May 16, 2015 16:55:32 GMT -5
Thanks, everyone, for making me feel better. It's true, I've been struggling to pay for routine vet care for the four I have … and even food at this point … I'm feeding them all the same, cheap food. I would like the boys to be on UTI Health Formula, and the fluffy girl to be on Hairball Formula. Not to mention keeping all the litter boxes clean, and getting a few more for a few spots in the house.
I have to remind myself that I'm not the only one in the world who loves animals. Sometimes it feels a little desperate, because kittens just keep being born, sometimes people actually can't find homes for them all, and homeless pets are being euthanized. So sometimes I think that a less-than-ideal home with me is better than none at all. But that's not a healthy mind-set for me. I can't solve all the world's problems.
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Post by poppy on May 16, 2015 19:55:27 GMT -5
Lara,
You have a wonderful heart. There's always so much compassion for others in your posts.
A thought...in my area we have a mobile vet that set up in the parking lot of different businesses a few weekends a month. They do low-cost routine exams, vaxes, and low-cost spaying & neutering. The signs say things like rabies vax $7, spaying $15...it would be worth it to see if they have something similar in your area. Maybe check online. I was curious about this because I kept seeing the signs pop up. One Saturday at Dollar General, the next Saturday in the parking lot of a Jack in the Box. The local vet who does it has his own regular practice, but he's done this for the last 20 years and it really is his heart's work helping all pet owners. I'm considering using them for routine exams/shots for the last cat, as our household income has dropped recently.
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Post by larataylor on May 17, 2015 1:34:58 GMT -5
poppy - that is sweet! I've never seen anything like that around here! We do get a bit of a discount for the two cats we adopted from our vet.
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Post by momof3boys on May 17, 2015 11:14:08 GMT -5
The cheapest we have around here for fixing is $80.00 I'm having troubles with my upstairs flooring. I've washed it yesterday and the cat litter seems to leave a weird white film all over it. One of the cats has been marking or having an accident in the same spot on the wooden floor. I'm so scared that my landlord will say something. The wooden floors upstairs are weird. It's like unsealed wood with brown paint on them. If I wash them too hard which I have to do in this case, the paint comes off! Very frustrating. I've moved a litter box to where they are having their accident.
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Post by poppy on May 17, 2015 15:11:00 GMT -5
The cheapest we have around here for fixing is $80.00 I'm having troubles with my upstairs flooring. I've washed it yesterday and the cat litter seems to leave a weird white film all over it. One of the cats has been marking or having an accident in the same spot on the wooden floor. I'm so scared that my landlord will say something. The wooden floors upstairs are weird. It's like unsealed wood with brown paint on them. If I wash them too hard which I have to do in this case, the paint comes off! Very frustrating. I've moved a litter box to where they are having their accident. You've probably already done this, but it doesn't hurt to mention it for others- have you checked with the Humane Society? They do low-cost, large volume neutering & spaying. A local cat rescue might also have advice.
The white film is usually something that cat litter leaves behind when it gets wet or damp and then rests on other surfaces. I'd consider laying down clear painter's tarp or painter's plastic sheets under the litter box.
Any possibility that kitty could be isolated to one small room or area? Maybe downstairs? Any chance s/he can be an outdoor cat, at least part-time?
I had a cat that marked. She would spend days patrolling and sniffing the bottoms of the exterior doors and the windows looking for other cats outside. It really wound her up seeing other cats. It was territorial and probably a little fear-aggression. She became very aggressive with us on occasion too. Nothing calmed her down during those cat panic attacks. I talked it over with the vet. She told me that honestly most people wouldn't have stuck it out with the pet.
When I felt I had exhausted all avenues and was no longer able or willing to tolerate the behaviors, I was left with no choice but to put kitty outside during the day and then bring her in just before evening. I did it because we have fox and roaming dogs in the area and I didn't want to chance her being outdoors at night. I could not give her away because I didn't want her potentially attacking other people. Anyway, at night she was kenneled in a large dog kennel with litter box, water, food, and blanket and her kennel sat right next to her canine sisters' kennels. I figure if night crating was good enough for dogs, then it should be good enough for a cat. She would fall asleep almost immediately. It became her sanctuary. We did this for about a year and then on a whim I let her out around the house little by little at night. She seemed to have forgotten all her earlier behaviors. Maybe crate training redirected her behaviors. Today, she's indoors almost 24/7 and the marking and aggression has stopped. Mind you, however, that a year ago I soaked the sprayed areas in Nature's Miracle several times so that it even soaked the underpadding. She also had a year to familiarize herself with all the cats that stop by and made herself alpha over them all. When she sees them out the window now, she no longer gets aggressive, she recognizes them and is just curious and watchful.
I really hope you can find a happy solution for you, your family, and kitty. I feel for you and know what those struggles are like. Never feel badly about putting you and your family first.
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Post by bobolink on May 17, 2015 15:55:09 GMT -5
I once had a cute but neurotic little calico who was peeing all over everything and upsetting the other cats - who started marking as well. I tried everything, including kitty valium. After she started peeing on my bed, I eventually took her to the vet and had her put down. It would not have been fair to try to re-home her and land someone else with a problem.
The vet said that a cat that is marking this way is not a happy cat and that I was doing the right thing.
The other cats settled right down and there was never a problem with any of them after that.
Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
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Post by immaculata on May 17, 2015 16:36:18 GMT -5
I once had a cute but neurotic little calico who was peeing all over everything and upsetting the other cats - who started marking as well. I tried everything, including kitty valium. After she started peeing on my bed, I eventually took her to the vet and had her put down. It would not have been fair to try to re-home her and land someone else with a problem. The vet said that a cat that is marking this way is not a happy cat and that I was doing the right thing. The other cats settled right down and there was never a problem with any of them after that. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Absolutely. I would prefer what you did (trying everything you could, and when nothing helped, putting the cat to sleep free of pain and fear) to what a lot of people would do, whether that be straying the poor beastie or leaving it in a shelter to go through another 'cycle'. That vet was right. The additional stress of another new home would only have made things worse. You made the compassionate choice.
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Post by anewleaf on May 22, 2015 21:44:30 GMT -5
Can I just say "thanks" for everyone telling their truth about this subject. It felt to me that for a while here on the board, it wasn't okay to talk about animals and pets as a burden on our lives. I don't remember specific examples, but I remember kind of deciding to not say anything about rehoming or euthanizing pets when a member was struggling with pet care. There's the whole "forever" home ethos about pet ownership that can be too much of an obligation for some of us. I wouldn't have even had squalor if it weren't for pets. Clutter, sure, mess, yes...but not squalor. I can't even begin to guess the cost to me in financial, emotional, social consequences. I do know, it has been a huge negative impact to my life to have had as many destructive animals as I've had, and continue to have. I don't how I missed this post, but angela, you make an excellent point about how socially unacceptable it is to talk about the toll of taking care of animals. I myself have bought into the ethos you speak of, of never, ever getting "rid" of an animal once you've taken them on. That they are your responsibility until they die, no matter what. After having had a cat that urinated all over the place (despite being neutered) and I swear was just goofy, anxious and possibly brain-damaged, I kept him despite the fact that he ruined sooo many clothes, including a favorite top that I was never able to get the smell of cat p!ss out of, no matter what I tried. And there was always a spot of carpet where you'd get the occasional whiff, despite having tried everything I could think of to remove the smell. That cat was nothing but a nuisance, but I kept him despite it all. We're talking: jumping on top of the fridge to get to the container of cat food, even breaking his leg upon jumping down (and subsequently costing me $$ in vet bills getting it cast). Luckily, he took an interest in the outdoors and soon disappeared. But if I had it to do over? I would have attempted to re-home him as soon as he started ruining things. I look at my mother, with her recently deceased (and beloved dog), who freely p!ssed and sh@t in the house for sooo many years, no matter how many times he was taken out. Unfortunately her other dog (my late aunt's) followed suit and does the same. Every single day there is dog sh!t on the carpet. And I'm sure he continues to use the furniture to urinate on. He's a high-strung Pomeranian who incessantly barks. His shrill barking shreds my nerves. I told her that under no circumstances would I ever take that dog on, so in the event that something happened to her and her husband, she might want to have arrangements in place.
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Post by immaculata on May 23, 2015 13:02:38 GMT -5
I don't wish to offend anyone but have to say that my earlier positive comment about a member who had to euthanise a cat, was positive because it was the best possible and most compassionate (if sad) outcome for the cat, after strenuous efforts to sort the issue out, and because realistically she would have had to leave the cat in a shelter, where (best case scenario) it would have been adopted again and then returned again, adding to the little beastie's stress and misery.
I *do* think that one is personally responsible for one's pets and they are one's responsibility until they die, no matter what. Definitely!
Frankly it's a bit disingenuous to talk of pets as causing a toll and a burden on one when one had plenty of choice in the matter of getting the animal. Looking after a pet is a privilege. If one has animals and feels that looking after them is too much for one, then (as people earlier have said), when they pass away, don't replace them. I think people who 'get rid' of animals they have taken on are behaving immorally if they don't find a new loving home for that animal. And even then should realise that such an outcome deprives another animal in a shelter of a potential loving home, so really should be a last resort.
Objects are objects; discard them with relative impunity. Animals, like ourselves, are beings with rights.
anewleaf, FWIW I think you're quite right to tell your mother and her husband that they should make arrangements for the care of their animal if anything (God forbid) should happen to them. I think a bit of plain speaking, clarity, and forethought like that would prevent a lot of situations when Person A is just assumed to be willing to be responsible for Person B's pets, when in fact, they're not, and the dreadful outcomes that sometimes has. People should give more consideration to their pet's futures than they do. The RSPCA over this side of the pond has a scheme where a pet can be registered so that his or her future is taken care of. (www.homeforlife.org.uk)
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Post by anewleaf on May 23, 2015 15:35:44 GMT -5
Well, immaculata, I have to respectfully disagree with you on keeping an animal until they die, no matter how destructive or ill-suited to one they might be. The cat I mentioned was (a rare case) in which I actively made the choice take him on. I don't think that one should have to live with a pet or pets that use the house as a toilet or shred furniture, or in the case of my best friend's dog AND my mother's Pomeranian, display aggressive behavior. I've seen animals who regularly snap at or bite their owners and I don't think that such behavior should just be tolerated and lived with. Obviously, I don't believe in just dumping animals, either. I was the recipient on that end and it really infuriated me that people just figured: "Eh, let someone in the country deal with them". I was once forced to give up my beloved cat (a former stray) because upon moving into a rental house, we were mistakenly told that pets were not allowed (the owners later told us otherwise). My mother tells me that a family walked out with my sweet baby just as we were leaving the shelter, but I cannot recall-I was so distraught. Unfortunately our other cat, being an old, gray, nubby-tailed grump (who we acquired from a family who had to re-home) probably wasn't so fortunate. So believe me, I'm not advocating just tossing an animal like yesterday's garbage. But sometimes, finding a loving home just isn't an option. And I don't believe that an animal's rights supersede that of the owner.
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Post by larataylor on May 24, 2015 7:31:41 GMT -5
Compassion and emotional attachment come very easily to me. What comes really hard is enforcing boundaries to take care of myself … and even seeing where the boundaries should be.
Anyone else relate to this? Looks like the perfect Animal Hoarding personality, right?
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Post by poppy on May 24, 2015 10:24:12 GMT -5
We do the best we can. Everyone has different limitations or abilities. It seems when members here get a pet, we do it with a strong sense of commitment and very good intentions. The truth is though that none of us know how the situation will work out long-term when we adopt, either for the pet, ourselves, or our families. Unexpected life changes such as divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, illness, incarceration, and death can all change the situation instantly. Allergies, aggression, marking, fear-based reactions also affect the situation. When we take on a furry, we know we will have to make some accommodations and adjustments, but we simply can't predict every possible thing or the severity of it.
When I took on the husband's divorcing co-worker's cat, I never expected- and was never told- that she had panic attacks or aggressive patrolling behaviors. Things like the phone ringing, doorbell ringing, stray animals outdoors, laughter on the television, ambulances going by, or simply jogging by her could result in serious attacking behavior. I never thought that three out of the four of us would be attacked and two of us twice! I was squeezing pus out of one leg for almost two weeks. The area became red, inflamed, and hot to the touch. I chose to keep her and deal with her- by putting her outside most of the day and kenneled at night- but I would never fault anyone for having made the decision to euthanize under the same circumstances. Ethically, it would not have been right to simply pass the problem on to some unsuspecting family or shelter either.
It's not fair to make judgments on what is best for someone else's family. They're living it, they're living the problem. As much as we love our furries, people cannot be expected to live in animal waste or live with an animal that is easily and unexpectedly provoked by the most mundane of things. We all do what we can to help out creatures, but there are limits to what each can do.
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Post by Arid on May 24, 2015 14:04:27 GMT -5
Well said, poppy!!
Arid
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Post by bittyboo on May 24, 2015 14:11:26 GMT -5
I think it's also important to remember that animals shouldn't be living in squalor, either. They have the right to live in a clean, healthy environment, too.
Animals shouldn't be forced to live in their own (or anyone else's) filth due to a misguided belief that once an animal has been brought into a home, the caretaker has assumed a lifetime responsibility for it. If nothing else, that's extremely unfair to the animal, even if it is contributing to the squalor.
Many caretakers start out willing to commit to the constant effort required to clean up after an animal, but soon discover they're not up to the task. Unfortunately, at that point, when a caretaker can't provide an appropriately safe and clean environment for the animal, for themselves and their families, sad and difficult as it can be, other arrangements should be made.
If a change in living environment stops improper elimination or other behavioral issues, that's great. But if an animal can't be house trained or cured of other troubling behaviors, it shouldn't be foisted off onto someone else. Lots of people don't react well when animals start acting aggressively toward them, destroying their furniture, or soiling their houses, and the animal is often tossed out on its ear. Or worse. Most of the time, it doesn't end well for the animal.
IMO, it's kinder to take the animal to a shelter and be truthful with them about why the animal is being surrendered.
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Post by rubyred on May 25, 2015 8:11:29 GMT -5
I have definitely felt overwhelmed with pets. The guinea pigs were the most difficult to care for - they were SO sweet and social but their poop was a never-ending cycle. We started with just one and she was pregnant, unknown to us. We kept the girl offspring and the three of them were just too much. We did not replace them as they died off.
We had a dog and he was the best one in the world. But we did not and will not replace him after he died. I want to enjoy the yard without seeing poop and brown spots from pee and never being able to travel for a day or two without figuring out doggie care.
My son has a red-eared slider turtle and it's aquatic. We started it in an aquarium but WOW would it quickly stink up the house! So we feed it in a small bin of water and it lives the rest of the time in a large Rubbermaid bin that is easy to clean and empty out. It lives in my son's room and he takes care of it. When my son goes off to college, we'll be left with its care. We're wondering where to keep it at that time because it seems cruel to leave it in an empty room. But a bin in other parts of the house makes it vulnerable to the cats...
And we have two cats. I love them. But I just cleaned up vomit, scooped the cat box, and found poop between the dryer and the wall. I also threw away my dining room chair cushions because they are so covered with hair nobody wants to sit there to eat. They also are always on our table so I have to sanitize it before we eat. They scratch everything in sight, and I am just now about to vacuum up cat hair from the furniture. But they are funny and cute and affectionate. They run to the door to greet us when we get home. One follows us around the house like a puppy, meowing to be picked up. The other never learned to meow because she had a deaf mom and just learned to chirp like the birds. They light up my day.
I will replace my cats as they grow old and pass away because I couldn't imagine my life without a pet in it and they're the easiest of them all.
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