|
|
Post by overwhelmedmama on Jan 19, 2017 10:27:54 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
As in the rest of my life, I am not sure where to start with my intro. My partner and I have a blended family of five kids (two toddlers and three teens). I guess things started slipping downhill four or five years ago. I have a hard time keeping up with the house, the many demands of being a working mom, and even taking care of myself. I am lucky if I can get a shower once every one or two weeks. And then I have to schedule it for a time when someone can watch the toddlers. My partner works a lot including early mornings and weekends.
When I get really behind we end up living out of laundry baskets and have an overflowing sink of dishes. We have two cats and I try to keep up with their litter boxes, but sometimes they go a few days without being scooped. I have just gotten into a routine of changing the litter completely once a week. Before that it had been months since all the litter had been changed - I was just scooping.
We moved into a larger house two and a half years ago and most of the boxes from the move are still packed and piled up in the basement. There are also packed boxes in the garage and in our bedroom. I cannot use my desk or built in vanity because of all the stuff on it and we can barely walk in the walk-in closet. There have been things we had to re-buy because we could not find where they were packed. I have tried at different times to start unpacking one box at a time, but there is such an overwhelming amount of boxes I became discouraged each time.
I also do not have large amounts of time to do anything, so I have to take babysteps with small bits of time usually in the morning before work. I have no filing system right now, so papers get thrown on a surface or in a drawer in hopes that I will be able to find them again if I ever need to. I do keep bills in my bag so they don't get lost. This year I am trying hard to get into routines to be able to keep up with the house, paperwork/bills, and taking care of myself. I know I need to do better at all this, and I hope this will be the year I can do that. I also want to be a better example for the kids.
Thanks for listening!
|
|
|
|
Post by shellsncheese on Jan 19, 2017 10:31:29 GMT -5
Welcome!  |
|
|
|
Post by outfromundah on Jan 19, 2017 10:54:45 GMT -5
Hi and welcome! Just a thought - would you be able to pay someone, like a professional organizer, to come in for a few hours and help you deal with the stuff? I was able to do that for a while and found it enormously helpful.
|
|
|
|
Post by ohblondie on Jan 19, 2017 10:57:40 GMT -5
I suggest a babysitter for a couple of hours. You need to be able to shower and attack a few areas in the house. Like laundry. And clearing counters. Small chores add up.
|
|
|
|
Post by sillycanuck on Jan 19, 2017 10:58:49 GMT -5
welcome, we are a friendly supportive bunch of members--ask questions, vent, work along at your pace or join chat challenges. You have done the first step and it is the toughest. Hope to see you posting progress or just settling in for now.
|
|
|
|
Post by overwhelmedmama on Jan 19, 2017 11:36:17 GMT -5
Thank you for the welcomes!
Unfortunately, there is not much help. I can't afford to hire someone on a regular basis for the house or babysitting. Our boys are busy with their own things, but I can usually get one of them to watch the little ones for a bit on the weekend, which is when I will normally get a shower. I used to get one every morning, but the littles wake up too early. Hopefully once they are sleeping better I can get back to that. The thing that is challenging right now is trying to keep up with the routine stuff every day and do something else on top of that for a few minutes, so I can make a dent in the amount of stuff.
As far as the boxes, some of it is junk that needs to be thrown away, some can probably be donated or sold. But some is stuff that I want and would like to find a home for somewhere in the house (besides the basement). I feel like *my whole life* from the old house is in the contents of those boxes and I need to sort through it all. No one else will know what I want and what I don't. There is also various stuff around the house that needs to be sorted through.
|
|
|
|
Post by overwhelmedmama on Jan 19, 2017 12:04:53 GMT -5
ETA: I've thought it would be super nice if I could get someone to watch the little ones once a month on a Saturday for a *whole day* to myself. But I have not had any luck in getting that to happen. Grandma only wants them once in a while and then not for the whole day. I'll just have to learn to work around them - not always easy at their ages!
|
|
|
|
Post by magda on Jan 19, 2017 12:44:26 GMT -5
Hi snd welcome. I think it is super hard to keep an orderly house w toddlers ! A few ideas to consider or ignore  I had to take a daily shower every morning for work. I'd try to take before my dd was up. If she was up I'd put her in her crib or pack and play w safe toys. That was easier when she was a littler toddler and baby. (I am a single mom so there was no one to help) I also had her help w simple clean up. We'd sing that clean up song from Barney? And we'd make a game if putting toys away. I always tried for daily toy put away I noted u have four other people there who could help. Can u assign tasks to the teenagers. W three if them can u rotate a half hour a day in which they take turns w toddlers Can they be responsible for thei own laundry ? Another tactic that I did was set a timer for 15 minutes and just do any chore or pick up. Even a little bit. Try 5 minutes maybe You have my sympathy. Trying to keep a clean organized house w toddlers is hard. Plus keeping up w them is exhausting. It does go by really fast though!!! |
|
|
|
Post by Unswamping on Jan 19, 2017 13:00:59 GMT -5
welcome! It sounds like things are very difficult there. This forum can be a great place to help you get back on track. Toddlers and teenagers mix sounds very difficult. It does sound like everyone needs to get on board and pitch in though. You cant do it alone. It might be hard to get the tens to start helping around the house, especially if they arent used to it. Can you start small, maybe instead of asking them to wash the dishes, you could start by asking that all the dishes be placed in one spot, saving you from having to spend time collecting them before you wash them. Can the teens start doing their own laundry?
I dont have children but grew up as the oldest of five children. The burden of housework fell on me, so i do understand how much work it is. Your partner needs to get on board too, not just helping around the house but also in supporting you in enforcing some new rules. Start small with baby steps, that will be much more effective and long lasting.
|
|
|
|
Post by overwhelmedmama on Jan 19, 2017 13:33:46 GMT -5
Thanks for all the ideas! The shower thing was definitely easier when they were younger and could be contained better. Now they can both walk, talk sort of, and climb. They are 3yo and 20 months. The 20 month old needs to be watched constantly - he will wreck the house more than it already is! They also sleep in the same bedroom so if one wakes up early, they are both up. They do help to clean up toys. But there are way too many toys. I need to put most of them away and keep out only a few to rotate once a week or so. But that is a project in itself. The boys we are still working on getting them to clean up after themselves. They leave dishes and garbage in their rooms we have to always remind them to bring down. I don't have time to clean their rooms as well as the rest of the house - and they need to learn how to take care of their own space. I know I am not a good role model for that though. The one good thing is they do their own laundry since we moved into this house. So the only laundry I am responsible for is mine, my partners, and the toddlers. Partner (what is the abbreviation for this - SO? we are not married) helps too. He unloads and loads the dishwasher, makes our lunches, packs bags for daycare. I am trying to use the 15 minutes at a time idea to unpack boxes. I don't usually get a whole box done in that time, but it is something. I love the Flylady system with her routines and babysteps. I am adapting this to work for me. Toddlers and teens are IME the two hardest age groups. I know it all goes by fast though, and that this is only temporary and things will get easier. But sometimes I still get frozen with not knowing what to do first or next and I end up sitting with the littles for hours. Youngest also cries when I walk away for too long doing housework, so that is hard! |
|
|
|
Post by outfromundah on Jan 19, 2017 13:38:12 GMT -5
You could take a shower at night before you go to bed, and then freshen up in the a.m. Lots of people do that. I love going to bed on clean sheets after a shower!
|
|
|
|
Post by overwhelmedmama on Jan 19, 2017 14:22:44 GMT -5
You could take a shower at night before you go to bed, and then freshen up in the a.m. Lots of people do that. I love going to bed on clean sheets after a shower! I am hoping to start doing that soon, since I already do a lot of stuff in the morning. Right now, I nurse the youngest at bedtime and stay until they are both asleep. Many times I fall asleep with him. He is also teething with the first of his two year molars, and wakes up a few times during the night, sometimes starting only an hour or so after he falls asleep. So it is difficult now to go and do anything after they go to sleep. |
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Jan 22, 2017 16:55:13 GMT -5
Welcome! You will get lots of good ideas here. It's hard to get anything done with little kids around. Great you have the older kids doing their own laundry!
|
|
|
|
Post by charis on Jan 22, 2017 18:43:20 GMT -5
overwhelmedmama, In your shoes I think my strategy would include paying the teens to look after the toddlers for short periods of time.
|
|
|
|
Post by emeraldine on Jan 22, 2017 19:45:17 GMT -5
overwhelmedmama, In your shoes I think my strategy would include paying the teens to look after the toddlers for short periods of time. I second this. In fact, I think it's fair to make pocket money dependent upon doing chores. Kids will soon be adults and will eventually be managing their own households, whether solo, shared or with a family of their own. They need to learn and practise good skills now. What do others think? I didn't get pocket money as a child, but I know that if I'd been offered pocket money for chores, I'd have gladly done heaps of housework. My parents let slip a great opportunity! |
|
