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Post by clutterbuggles on Mar 10, 2017 4:00:47 GMT -5
Yesterday became grocery shopping day as we had very little food in the house. DH (gasp) decided he'd walk the dogs down to the store with me. My back was killing me by the end of the shop and I still had to drag the groceries home, but all in all it was a good outing.
I also picked up the protein bars, as they had some extras yesterday so I didn't have to pre order and they're tummy, but fabulous. I tried one, which turned into trying three, yesterday. They contain protein and little refined sugar, but are also high in fat, so 50 kcals is a bite the size of my thumb. So they're better than a cookie but not exactly meal replacement. So they're just to help me when I'm already heading hypo and feel too sick to get down and make a meal replacement shake yet. They're good for that.
In addition to grocery day, it was also bill paying day. I had a number of bills that were a little bit late and I managed to pay all but one off. Letting bills get out of control had been a previous downfall. DH has also had some get out of control recently and I keep trying him to do what I do and literally put all DD and bills on our joint calendar and the ones that aren't DD get added to a to-do list with reminders.
I may not have physically accomplished a lot, but I'm celebrating actually knowing what bills are going out/when and if I'm falling behind I know exactly when I can clear it. We're still in debt by several hundred pound, but the light at the end of the tunnel won't get any brighter if I don't stay in top of it.
Today is a homebody day.
I've got a bill to pay when some money clears.
I've got 3 or 4 parcels arriving.
I've got a bigger grocery shop to do to restock a little bit.
Those are limited by what time things arrive, so in between I'm going to be focusing on the kitchen. DH has promised all week that I'd have access to our rubbish bin (for the first time in 6 months) and it still hasn't happened. But tidying the kitchen is at an impossible point because the fridge is storing rotting good to keep the house from stinking. The counters are storing food and food containers out of reach of the dogs. The floor is storing paper stuff and recycling. It makes it nearly impossible to move and *** inconvenient to put things away. So today I'll be putting it all in bags in the garden. Screw animals getting into it - he didn't even tie bags shut that he's been dumping out there - I'll at least do him that courtesy. Something has to jolt him into action! It's one of the promised things, so I'm not going to let him out of it.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 10, 2017 5:25:58 GMT -5
clutterbuggles Nothing like perimenopausal swings, right? They have my head spinning! Keep up the good work! You're a star☆
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Post by clutterbuggles on Aug 9, 2017 18:49:24 GMT -5
Long story short: Health issues reared their ugly head again, I ended up bed bound again. House started stinking like we were hiding dead bodies and people started to complain. LL gave us a short deadline for an inspection. We did everything we could. We failed the inspection. Amazingly, we've been given a reprieve - IF we got professionals involved.
We now have a cleaning team who have given us a price to clear and clean the whole house regardless if it takes them a day or a year. And we really, really like them. We can't afford their services, so we're having to pay a bit every week, but they are ok with that. They have been supportive and understanding. They're even taking some of our laundry with them to dry as our dryer just broke. They've also stood up to the LL who was essentially insisting we get rid of anything that's currently in the house - he wanted our new sofas to go because they need a clean, our kitchen and dining room tables because they have things on them, etc. They schooled him on what an inspector can and cannot demand and where he may go. So no more threats of forcing me out of bed when I'm too ill to move. Lots of little things like that which are absolutely above and beyond what we expected. They are "Just" cleaners, but they could easily have a more specialized service aimed at decluttering and helping people get out of squalor. They've been working here for two days, things are feeling lighter in atmosphere, and we're already planning to buy them flowers when they've finished. And once they're finished, we already plan to keep them once a month for a few hours, just to help us keep up with it for sure.
I feel incredibly blessed that something so good could come of something so awful. I've been sick with worry for weeks about the inspection and eviction and now, there's a tremendous relief.
I know hiring someone isn't feasible for all, but if it is, I recommend it and hope you find someone like we have. They see a job where we see insurmountable.
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Post by creativechaos on Aug 10, 2017 2:18:11 GMT -5
glad to know you have some help! good luck with everything, clutterbuggles. i hope this new start gives you the impetus you need |
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Post by Tea on Aug 10, 2017 8:55:52 GMT -5
I know hiring someone isn't feasible for all, but if it is, I recommend it and hope you find someone like we have. They see a job where we see insurmountable. With our recent inspection we actually did try to hire someone to come in and help us. Sadly they were fully booked and couldn't come before our deadline but I did realize how grateful I would have been for the help. When I thought we were going to have them I felt such a sense of relief and finding out I had to do it on my own was crushing. I had never entertained the idea of outside help before because of my pride but I realized when my back was against the wall that I needed help and deciding to get some was a very relieving feeling! I found that most companies who advertise specifically about helping with hoarding and squalor make a point of stating on their sites that they're non-judgemental and understand that life just happens for some people! It's very comforting to read things like that before you've even talked to them. I'm so sorry that your health issues worsened. I'm glad, though, that you are feeling so good about things going forward! |
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Post by def6 on Aug 11, 2017 15:49:41 GMT -5
so glad you have help with the house...I pray your health is restored.  |
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Post by dustylady on Aug 13, 2017 13:52:52 GMT -5
Have you considered divorce? Normally I would never suggest it, but a guy who walks around grinding dog poop into the rugs for six months needs to live by himself.
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Post by clutterbuggles on Aug 26, 2017 4:48:21 GMT -5
Lots of complications arose... The LL wouldn't leave us or the cleaners alone to get on with cleaning and the LL personally created new messes to clean up because something hadn't been done his way. We've had to take legal action and, of course, doing so brought on an eviction notice.
We're fine though. Just focusing on packing and relocating now. I'm determined that this is going to be an organised move, no laundry packed except the "last week" stuff, no dirty dishes packed, and downsizing as much as possible. We're determined to make this a good thing for us.
Re: divorce
It used to cross my mind. But as the end of the day, I have chronic depression and anxiety and I understand being overwhelmed to the point of being able to do nothing. After his breakdown, my husband would often fall into this "paralysis" and it was almost impossible to get him to do anything. So no, divorce isn't on the cards and we are both doing better. We're facing this as a team because the stress hormones have "kick started" my heart so I'm physically doing better. He needed more support than I could give and we've learned that when faced with that we NEED outside help.
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Post by bub on Aug 26, 2017 11:50:24 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are being forced to move. Your positive attitude shines through your words though- a fresh start is in your future! Keep checking in- we'll be here to cheer you on!
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Post by lostchild on Aug 26, 2017 13:34:17 GMT -5
clutterbuggles its going to be okay. We are all praying for you. I understand about being paralyzing by the mess.
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Post by hollyhock on Aug 27, 2017 6:51:09 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about your eviction and landlord troubles, but good for you for seeing it as a fresh start. May things continue to improve for you and dh. And good for you both on realizing you aren't able to give as much support as he needs right now.  |
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