H2H
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halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
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Post by H2H on Mar 8, 2017 14:48:28 GMT -5
Just opened a link to ONE ROOM of my fixer upper cottage... Spending more time writing here than DOING anything still! takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/29607/opened-guest-room-doorIn every case it seems to be 1. We own or have a very cheap cost to live there..but we have hoards or messes too. 2. it needs WORK to keep it from falling down around us. Deciding what to fix,and how far to spend $ is the quandary. 3. the COST to do repairs to "age in place" may be unaffordable--but painfully necessary for long term security 4. selling is far more than getting out, also getting rid of piles, repairing enough for a bank to allow a mortgage? 5. RENTING or buying at today's prices means less options, or absorbs too much of current income/SS FOREVER. And property taxes on a place now triple what you sold at can eat you alive. MANY of you gave your situation, which helps others to see options and negatives unthought of...we need a BRAIN TRUST to help figure out what is best for each of us.
I have a small 1949 fixer upper- the old lady seller carried the mortgage because no bank would loan unless she did $30K min. upgrades.. I got is AS IS...now I am in the SAME position despite 17 yeas of slow repairs and such. But I WANTED this place..still do..my selling options have more lists due to CODE and other issues now. if I stay I only pay $1100 in taxes annually..if I sell I HAVE to carry the mortgage, AND find a buyer who won't ruin it so I get it back again, and pay off the loan when they should.. this happened to my Seller, so I bought HER problem when first buyer defaulted after 5 years, leaving a real mess/damaged house to sell AGAIN. There is always a buyer/flipper looking for cheap...I can accept that! I paid $75K in 99...it may be worth $175 now just for the location, and the house is a teardown to some! So I just take whatever and walk away? COST to rent is well over my SS..and I will burn thru any savings in 12 years or less. I may not live 12 years anyway, COST to upgrade: to DO repairs, GET country permits, inspections hire $$ contractors is a NIGHTMARE locally..I can't even get reliable yard care! The PROCESS to do this is beyond my patience. I even looked at renting a furnished place for 6-12 mo. and move out, put furn-stuff in storage, and get the repairs done. Move back in..you CAN'T live in and do real repairs.
if I do that..I am committed for LIFE practically, and have used up a great deal of /all retirement savings. If I need to live closer to a hospital/medical center as I age? then what? Maybe sell when I am at the weakest, least prepared? Moving everything and deciding in a big hurry THEN?
Right NOW I am ONLY doing basic maintenance..I decided it would be best to let the place just fall apart, and keep looking for where I want to live once some medical issues are resolved. I simply can't do both. Thus the shame in living in a run down place I know won't get fixed anytime soon. It wears on my spirit. Contractors want to do a $5k-$20K job, not a $1200 fix here and there with you looking over their shoulder, and cats running around. I can't hire unliscenced handymen..they are limited to $500. jobs legally. WHAT DID YOU DECIDE? Solutions? |
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Post by hannah on Mar 8, 2017 20:33:23 GMT -5
I went through some health issues last spring/summer that have made me wonder how much longer I am going to be able to stay where I live. That has really prompted me to start dismantling my hoard; I don't know where I'll be going, but I know it's not coming with me. I'm trying to approach this with a positive attitude and to think about how much relief I will feel to be out from under this once and for all because it makes me very sad and angry to think about how much I have sacrificed and gone through all these years because of it.
I think that answers to your questions will kind of come to you. Something will happen or something will change that will tell you that it's time to move on, and when that time comes, you will find the right solution.
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griselda
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Post by griselda on Mar 8, 2017 21:05:01 GMT -5
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Post by wynken on Mar 8, 2017 21:41:13 GMT -5
I read the link H2HThe next step for me is to 'continue' getting excess out. I have long wanted to move, but I feel stuck for some of the reasons listed on gifted's thread. and conflicted. rudimentary house problems with no quick fix. a yard too big for me to manage I have never managed this house well in my 32 years here. If I was more 'ready' there would be options. So that is my aim to be in maintenance with regular things and increase the area here that is more under control. to consider if I moved to a place half the space, what would I take x y and y with me? I don't need to decide where I'm going today. or even if I'm going, though that can be a dream, a motivation. If I stay, there is still much to do even without the big ticket things. |
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 8, 2017 22:54:33 GMT -5
griselda!! we feel the same about old homes.. and I have same yard (heck it is 1/3 acre!)
I'm interested in HOW you chose the place you got, drive around a lo or let eh realtor locate it? details please!
I will have to invest in some repairs no matter what VERY soon-
1. need a new roof is $10K-12K ( it leaked this winter, it's time!)
2. A rotting large wraparound deck will be unsafe soon in 3 spots- that's $15K, maybe less if it can be just repaired.
One option is moving into my own work studio temporarily-- do it in spring (aiming for next year earliest) and rent a POD storage container for things I keep packed in there. while the workers tear the house apart
just GETTING to the commitment to spend that much, and all the rest STILL seems better than buying anything else if I stay local.
I drove thru the nice, new 2 level $750-$900 apts for seniors locally.. I can't do the sharp stairs, and so the lower ones have a 5 year wait list anyway. I don't think I am cut out for places like that.
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Post by peaceandfreedom on Mar 9, 2017 1:23:57 GMT -5
I think I agree with hannah, that something will happen or change that will let you know what is best, and when. Many of us have those same kinds of questions. For what it is worth, I wanted to share another idea. Tomorrow I attend the first of a three-part class at our community college, about estate planning. It is taught by a local attorney, so I see it as a resource for information that could be helpful in various ways. The class only costs $30 for the 3 sessions, six hours total. So, I guess that puts me in the "information gathering" stage. So you might check around in your area to see what might be available that could help shift your perceptions in ways beyond just what to do about the house. |
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griselda
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Post by griselda on Mar 9, 2017 9:16:09 GMT -5
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 9, 2017 15:21:57 GMT -5
peaceandfreedom I have been very organized all my life, and have a will, etc. A local company had a free seminar with the lawyers & advisors a year ago, I went, they were teaching the same stuff on 'estate; planning, it is WORTH learning that stuff even if we have little to leave behind. I still need to finalize some plans anyway..when you have major surgery you have to fill out an Advanced Directive if you should croak..THAT is sobering.
Like Griselda I have no family to tidy up after me so I have always kept that in mind. I get Zillow notices from a couple different towns in other states, just to see the prices, and what you get. A BIG move out of state feels daunting.
Nothing keeps me here but INERTIA, and comfort in sameness., but most of all is the overwhelm of making it all happen on my own. I can't overlook the stress of even the selling process.
went thru this 3 years ago and hated every second of the realtors pressuring me to fix everything even as I kept saying 'as is' sale..and I DO have to hold the mortgage. That means no lump sum to buy another place with, see?
the MORE I read here and learn the more I lean to staying, and just fix a few things to keep dry.
i do not agree to just "let it happen" organically.. I never want to be forced to make a FAST decision on shelter...being unprepared is the worst feeling. I was hospitalized in an emergency, 3 weeks from home in another city, I had to call a perfect stranger to come to my house and care for the dogs etc, and those poor animals were not the same after...having NO ability to control our future when we are most vulnerable? not for me. and it DOES happen.
I imagine having to suddenly move to a facility or into a different home when I am not ready due to health reasons keeps me on track now to clear the house, do what I can to control my shelter situation.
..if I have another stroke, or need 4 months recovery etc after an upcoming surgery then I HAVE to be mentally prepared on these very critical decisions. not having anyone to leave the house to, etc. means I have to make those arrangements in advance so the state doesn't just take everything,
Planning for long term animal care is also a biggie for me.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 9, 2017 15:30:35 GMT -5
Griselda " But I still have a few years left and I don't want to wrap myself up in bubble wrap and put myself in a more protected living situation than I need now . "
I am not sure I understand..you DON'T want to feel safe now because you have enough years left to decide?? Can you please clarify?
Getting an offer from an acquaintance BEFORE being exposed to the world of lookyloo buyers is a whole better experience than dealing with the public, and the selling process. I am so glad that went well for you!
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griselda
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Post by griselda on Mar 9, 2017 17:04:45 GMT -5
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 9, 2017 22:33:53 GMT -5
griselda ... that was very helpful; just made sure I wan't reading it wrong. The veterans housing I heard of is for those who are financially limited, not for people who can afford a home or rent, cheap or otherwise, I believe. there are several of these facilities in CA already...and they have RULES of course being government supported. that part doesn't fly with me..clutter or painting the wrong color is not permitted I think. like CC&R rules in condos.. and most modern housing communities to prevent wacky people ruining the 'view' I DID want to share this site since I worked for so long in the "alternative housing" arena.. the TINY HOUSE theme is very hot now as people want to escape from too much house to care for, costs, and escape from clutter/possessions. tinyhousetalk.com/crows-hermitage-tiny-stone-cottage-in-dublin/#more-58059 << stone one is very cute but why force it into 2 stories/ narrow when a CIRCLE like the Celts built is smarter use of same space??? obviously it is NOT on wheels, so no need to be NARROW. the LOGIC escapes me... only if the land area permitted it narrow would I go narrow. tinyhousetalk.com/ is the MAIN page you can see so many concepts. as for ME I'd live in a YURT as first choice..a big canvas circle with wood platform floor is the same amount of space, but NO hard corners and going up stairs, tight living, to sleep..and more portable! (I know a woman who lived in one locally, surrounded with straw bales for 50R insulation, and a small stove keeps it so warm! So whatever people love there are ways to find "living smaller" is possible. (of course I can just move into the craft shed on my property..hahaha..in fact if i move into my work studio during remodeling here I might STAY there, and rent the "fixed up" house out for income!! |
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Post by phoenixcat on Mar 10, 2017 11:02:43 GMT -5
This is a very interesting (and stressful!) topic. Right now for some of us it is double sided. Not only do we contemplate our future but now we are dealing with aging relatives and seeing what to do/what not to do.  I have two very elderly women in my life and I've seen first hand what works and what doesn't. DH and I are thinking of their challenges on our living circumstances. And, I know of at least six couples that have escalated their long term planning due to their experiences. Some of it was so negative that it was a HUGE slap in the face for many people. Not sure if this will help anyone but I will throw out some of the things I've learned (and still learning). 1) Your body and mind are aging. For many of us, we are about "as good as we are going to be". Not withstanding those that are addressing health concerns but as we get into our 80s and hopefully 90s - our ability to process information changes. Vision and hearing can become more impaired. Our mobility changes. So, even if we are more mentally willing to let go of stuff. Our physical ability to make those arrangements - to "get it out of the house" - is impaired. Health issues that we could shrug off in our 40s can put us in the hospital like a bad cold or a fall. One major illness in the household has a drastic impact and can turn everything on a dime. Financially, expenses for health and aging related issues accelerate. 2) Good news is that you can age in your home. Everyone I'm talking about has been in their homes into their 90s. Those that have been successful or semi-successful have had the following things in common: A) Everything they need on one level - sleeping space, bathroom, kitchen and laundry. Limited or no stairs to get in and out of the home. B) Remove tripping/falling hazards - throw rugs - excess stuff on the floor. Get the "gripper" to pick up stuff - try and change your natural inclination "to do what you always have done" to something more cognizant of your mobility. It isn't easy to get off the floor when you are in your 80s  Get a "life type alert" button and wear it. If you need a walker, use one. At this point in time, making simple, less expensive changes to the "way" you live in your own home will ease stress and keep you safe and mobile. C) Be social whether it is with family, neighbors, friends (hopefully a few younger), church members, club members - you need a network as you age in your home ESPECIALLY if you are alone with no kids or spouse. You will need assistance going places or having people bring in things. You may need someone to care for your home/pets in case of an unplanned absence. D) Whether you use them now or not, locate people that can do "handy type" work for you. Having someone help you clean, take out garbage, pet care, mow the lawn, do the laundry, meals on wheels, etc. - these type of connections are the life blood to keep you in your own home. Also, services that offer transportation or deliveries like pharmacy and grocery. E) Keep up with technology as best as you can. One of the major challenges we have faced is that due to sight issues - one person in my life has extreme difficulty learning "newish" TV remotes and phones. We all know how technology changes - imagine trying to start from scratch on something in your 80s/90s with limited sight. Knowing how to work a microwave is a Godsend with having enough proper food in your home. Imagine how hard it would be to not work the TV, radio, tapes on books and be alone. F) Evaluate your home for long term aging in place. Spend money on things like accessibility and safety - higher toilets, safety bars, walk in shower, grab rails. Figure out what may "force" a move and if resources and youth are there - think about those items before more cosmetic changes. Right now, my DM is working on smaller fixes like her leaky roof and increased insulation. Less expensive and lets her continue to live there. If her septic or well fails - she will probably have to move because the cost would be too high. At her age, we know that every day is a gift in her own home. In her case, another deal breaker is being unable to drive as far as a grocery store. Since I don't live around her, both of us are reluctant to have her essentially trapped in her home unless a neighbor or friend helps her out. G) If you looking at long term insurance, they are including "aging at home" and assisted and step down living because that is becoming the wave of the future. And, evaluate your moving options - tour places - if you find one you like and you think it may be a possibility within 2-5 years - inquire about their wait list. Yes, the best ones can have a wait list of WELL OVER a year. We put a very small deposit on one near me that isn't even built yet for DM. If she needs it, we have it. If she doesn't - we will eventually get our money back - she will just be on the list as a back-up. H) While you are relatively healthy and computer savvy - research services available to you as you age through medicare, AARP, medicaid, veterans', local and state - senior centers, transportation, medical, household help. I) Health - try and stay as healthy as you can and take advantage of anything that improves your mobility, your balance, reduces your stress level. J) Hobbies/activities/volunteering - for some reason - if you have a hobby or activity that you can do as you age - art, sewing/knit/crochet, music, reading, following sports teams, helping others - really seems to help with mental acuity and relieves stress/depression. I don't mean to sound "preachy" but I'm hip deep in issues for two ladies right now. Everyday I'm waiting for a phone call that is going to turn my life upside down. DH and I haven't done or even thought of more than half of what I have on my list. DH refuses to even let me join AARP   because he can't admit we are now old enough! My baby boomer generation is going to flood elderly resources in the next 20 years. And, it seems that trying to age in place and stay independent is by allowing yourself to be "dependent" on outside people and services that can aid you in keeping your home and yourself healthy. My two cents Can you tell it is a HUGE issue for me right now?   PC |
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Post by imamess on Mar 10, 2017 12:49:23 GMT -5
I've decided to stay in the home dh & I purchased 26 years ago rather than sell and build/buy something in my hometown 30 miles away. This house has good points & bad. The good:
It's paid for
The front door step up is 3 inches from the porch. That was important when dh was on crutches.
It's small which makes it easier to clean
I've had maintenance done to electrical & water and now working on floors/doors
Nice neighbors
The bad:
146 miles from my only child = 2.5 hours
I'm depending on friends more & more and I hate it
Needs more insulation
Bathroom is not handicap friendly
I have way too much stuff (I'm working on that)
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H2H
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halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 10, 2017 13:19:59 GMT -5
phoenix cat... you are an ideal person to post that info because you are exposed to this reality. and every one of those points is excellent!
everyone is sort of aware of some of this, but often we put it off thinking we have time to put in a ramp, etc. that is what I mean on suddenly your choices are limited, and you have to scramble, even if mentally, and that is never good.
There are several good websites, articles and catalogs with tools and options for housing...notice how MANY commercials for 'step in" tubs, and chair lifts to the 2nd floor there are now? (changing doorknobs to the "latch" type handles as we lose grip ability, or are too weak. there are thick rubber handle utensils and products that make daily chores easier )
And AMAC (https://amac.us) is an excellent option to the political AARP ..they offer the insurance and other benefits..Assoc. of Mature American Citizens... so there is a choice.
Boomers 1945-1965 are turning 65 at the rate of 10,000 a DAY every day,365 days a year, for the next 17 YEARS til we hit 140 Million..so lots of need for services and not much is in place yet.
People like me with no living family are left to paying for all services, and depending on strangers. and fewer resources in small, rural communities like mine. We don't even have Uber or I'd use it! Most of my neighbors are older than me, or working and not home ever, but almost any of them would help in a pinch, and have taken me to the ER, done grocery shopping when I had a stroke and was homebound, and I have been out hunting for a lost dog, or offering help when asked too.
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Post by danny15 on Mar 10, 2017 13:33:34 GMT -5
phoenixcat, 100 *Likes* on your post!!! Excellent information!
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