H2H
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halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 11, 2017 0:41:23 GMT -5
CLOSET..I would not see her if it is possible to be reassigned..not sure what state program you are within, but I'd go to the department head, or manager of the clinic, etc. and file a report you feel she is inappropriate, and you are feeling " Not Safe" ( use that "safe space" crap back at them) ... or very uncomfortable, and it makes you more anxious /upset.
track when she has shown up before, and calmly ask the dept head if it is authorized procedure to have them randomly show up..ask if that is part of the process of checking in on patient (and if it is then that is another issue!)
I think getting it out here is helpful because if we just talk to ourselves.. it is like speaking in a MIRROR..our own thinking..we can't determine if it's us feeling uncomfortable for valid reasons, or just a part of any mood disorder.
Good luck, please let us know.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 11, 2017 16:54:24 GMT -5
So far, the most positive solution I can up with seems to be to perhaps find a doc in my own town if I can who has no connection to this organization. I can perhaps ask for a referral from a pcp. That way, there are no confrontations, no me looking like a hysterical patient, no messiness. It just looks like it's more convenient for me to stay local and I no longer need their services. In all honesty, they are doing me more harm than good at this point. This may take a little time but I believe I should slowly pull away quietly that way instead. I can't picture them making any of it easy for me if I try to resolve it by talking it over. That woman and the rest of the staff has acted oblivious in the past. I'm either not using the right words or they aren't competent to suit my needs.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 11, 2017 17:03:12 GMT -5
If you don't mind me venting some more about these people, I've often suspected they were creating situations to trigger me so I'd keep needing their services. I've had to wonder if they were testing my diagnosis. It's a paranoid thought but not impossible. I have finally come to the conclusion that they probably had their own mental health issues and for some reason, were able to secure jobs in the mental health field. Turns out that's really common.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 11, 2017 17:07:28 GMT -5
So, considering that, I've decided that it's less likely malevolence and that they are less than professional due to their own personal issues. It's not my problem. There is a high concentration of them in this particular organization for some reason.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 11, 2017 17:19:29 GMT -5
Closet you are confirming why the people who go into therapy type work do it to help themselves/understand themselves. As I mentioned none of it may be related to YOU..but is that lady's issues and either meanness or distorted weirdo thinking.
it is entirely possible they do push buttons just to see..the TRAINED psychologists on the Hoarder show admit they ask people to do things..just to push the buttons but those people are experienced. the GOOD therapist I spoke to also gave me tasks, etc. nothing like that lady you see.
get yourself away as soon as possible, just walk away from that help..your instinct is correct.
I will tell you I paid for a MFSW, when my wonderful VA therapist retired, this was private service she wanted 3 visits to "learn about each other" ..I didn't like much about her because it was NOT a good fit.. she felt like a pleasant well meaning neighbor I could talk with over coffee, period...and as soon as 3 visits were done I dumped her. When I am paying $60 an hour ( REDUCED rate!) and she wears old jeans to the office? typical of the level of professionalism here, people dont know any better, so this flies as acceptable and I am a witch for saying anything)
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 11, 2017 17:39:30 GMT -5
I used to reside in the city where they are located and they were a great hub for resources at the time. They no longer are. They were sort of a necessary evil, in case anyone was wondering how I got mixed up with them in the first place. I'm glad that I listened to my inner voice on this one and I appreciate all the wise counsel from everyone here. If they are creating this much distress, something isn't right, and I need to get away. What I did to feel better in the mean time was to haul more clutter out of the house; a mattress and box spring I was no longer using and a futon. I'm going to haul more things out too but wait until the middle of the night when no one is watching. The manager gets really peaved because the landlord is a tightwad and hates having to pay waste management to haul extra rubbish. Well, hoarders who clean up their act are going to do it anyway, at least this one is! Reforming from cluttered to roomy is the best therapy I've ever given myself. It sure is working and none of that nonsense from those incompetent therapists organization ever helped, honestly. Exercising is helping too. Hauling heavy things out, partially because I'm doing it secretly, is quite a workout, so that's giving me additional exercise. There is nothing like creating space to ease my anxiety. It's easier to clean with more space. I just need to remember NOT to bring more stuff in!!! I just want you to know I really appreciate all of you☆♡☆
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 11, 2017 17:49:07 GMT -5
H2H Therapy is supposed to help and make us feel better, ease our minds and put us in a better place psychologically. If it doesn't, those people are quacks.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 11, 2017 18:28:02 GMT -5
our trash company allows us to have a 2x a year free pick up of anything up to volume of " two refrigerator size" piles... I take full advantage of their kind offer, and have gotten rid of a lot of my waste/clutter that way..or since it is mine I pay when I have to take it away. Which I hate, so it's only happened twice in 10 years.
I had so much metal once a metal recycler took away about 500 lbs off stuff I don't even remember, old fencing, core of water heater tanks as art ( it WAS cute as rusty art with a candelabra and a solar light on top..honest!)
Because it is so visible when in front of our own home I cover with a tarp and yank if off late the night before pick up ..people do slam on brakes and jump out to pick thru also. I hear them.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 11, 2017 18:30:08 GMT -5
closet- Therapy is supposed to help and make us feel better, ease our minds and put us in a better place psychologically. If it doesn't, those people are quacks. << and you have come FULL CIRCLE from doubting to firm control over your thinking. glad it all helped.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 15, 2017 16:25:42 GMT -5
shellsncheese hollyhock H2H def6 Are you ready for this? Brace yourselves! She came by my home today to tell me I'm getting reassigned to a new worker and what a pleasure it's been working with me and how bright my future is going to be ect, and all of these positive things ect. Why? She is retiring on Friday. I'm never going to see her again. I asked if I could hug her. I realized she must be sick. And honestly I was so darn relieved I wanted to cry. It was a profound moment. After all of that anguish in my mind! I wonder what's going on there. I wasn't pushy enough to ask, you know, push my luck! People can retire if they want to!
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 15, 2017 16:26:15 GMT -5
P.S. She did not say I looked pekid.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 15, 2017 16:38:21 GMT -5
closetofchaos... am so relieved for you! remember when I said that often people are in their OWN WORLD of issues, and not connected to us at all? This is the hardest thing for me to remember for I have prolly 5 of these "assertion" gifs to remind me that MAYBE I am not being judged or even thought about by another who is DEEP in their own issues.
Why knows why she was the way she was for months? Could be the end of her career affected her more than she can ever admit. Or she is on meds that alter her thinking or has a other life stressors added to her limited competence.
You were kind though to hug her, and be the person who ROSE ABOVE the hurt she caused, you will remember that, and be proud of yourself. I try to remember -in dealing with humans who bother me "to take the high road" < I don't always do this!
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 15, 2017 17:21:20 GMT -5
I suddenly remembered all of the nice memories I had of her in the past, kind of like the way you forgive someone you know you aren't going to see again who wasn't always your tormentor. I had known her for nearly 2 decades.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 15, 2017 17:26:41 GMT -5
I'm so, soooooo relieved too, I mean Thank God! I can't get over how right the Universe feels to me right now☆♡☆
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 15, 2017 18:01:37 GMT -5
You know what is ironic about this thread is that I answered the door today......
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