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Post by dustylady on Mar 18, 2017 13:41:22 GMT -5
by Jeffrey Schwartz and Rebecca Gladding
This is the only self-help book you may ever need.
The idea here is, first you establish your goals; the goal is the end result you want: lose weight, clean house, teach the dog tricks. Any idea that does not further these goals: I've tried before and gained it all back, I'll never get the house clean, the dog's too dumb to learn and I'm too dumb too teach him--these are "deceptive brain messages." Their harsh content upsets you and so you seek a way to get away from them, usually by fulfilling a "desire." E.g. I'll eat the cake and diet again tomorrow; I'll go back to bed; I'll let the dog play in the yard and have a beer or six. Over time the repitition of this turns it into a habit. You break the cycle by asking yourself, with any thought--"Does this lead towards the goal?" If not, you ride it out, preferably by doing something related to the goal. Over time, the brain rewires itself to do this automatically.
The beauty of this system is its simplicity--all I have to remember is Goal or Desire and respond accordingly. No steps to remember, no quiz results. The book does have exercises but I skipped them, no harm done. A week of this has been more helpful than anything ever has, and I'm only 30% or so through the book.
"Goal" and "desire" is the authors' phrasing; as long as you grasp the concept you could call the warring concepts "Red" and "Green" or "Donald" and "Hillary" or whatever else you want. As I proceed through the book I'll add anything else I find helpful.
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Post by purpleangel on Mar 18, 2017 14:21:43 GMT -5
dustylady - I PROMISE this is the truth - I just downloaded a sample of that book last night. A few months ago I realized that I needed to revise the garbage running around in my brain - because a lot of it is very unhelpful and downright discouraging. I don't know why that Voice is in "there." I'm gonna buy the book today. Thank you for the post!
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Post by dustylady on Mar 18, 2017 14:30:21 GMT -5
I hope you find it helpful!
I've read a handful of self-help books before but they all required a much higher level of organization than I am able to maintain:: do this exercise, that quiz, do X number of steps in this order, retake this quiz and that quiz, remember what personality type you have... This type of thing is probably helpful for the naturally well-organized, but I'd get lost in the maze of things one had to do. Whereas with Schwartz & Gladding, it's reduced down to ONE question: " Does this lead to the goal" that has only 2 possible answers.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 18, 2017 15:24:58 GMT -5
dustylady and your synopsis is perfect!!! I may buy the $1.99 kindle version, but even reading the Amazon
'look inside page view' is more details and story..what you said nails it down.
let's see if I can apply this for TODAY.. and will report back.
thanks again!
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Post by dustylady on Mar 18, 2017 23:41:19 GMT -5
It was the best 2 bucks I ever spent.
I left out a word above, sorry; I just noticed. It should have read "I'll let the dog play in the yard and I'LL have a beer or six." If the dog has a beer or six he is certainly not going to learn any tricks. 😳 🐶
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Post by notanotherdecade on Mar 19, 2017 3:32:08 GMT -5
Thanks looking at the amazon sample, it is exactly what I need...
I think there will be a run on stocks of the book from soos customers. ;-)
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Post by danny15 on Mar 19, 2017 4:14:37 GMT -5
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Post by mouseanne on Mar 19, 2017 7:28:43 GMT -5
Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way calls the thoughts blurts. Someone here within the last few weeks posted about "default mode network". When those unhelpful thoughts pop in my head I've been saying "default mode network" to remind myself to disregard and move on.
This Goal/Desire method cuts to the chase! Thank you.
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Post by dustylady on Mar 19, 2017 11:03:18 GMT -5
Schwartz and Gladding should cut us in for 10%!
I read in my carpool--fear not, I'm not the driver--so hope to get into the book again this week.
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Post by notanotherdecade on Mar 23, 2017 14:59:52 GMT -5
Yay arrived today,  time to snuggle up with it for some bedtime reading.. Will write down some thoughts on it later |
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Post by angela on Mar 23, 2017 15:05:22 GMT -5
Hi dustylady. Thank you for the recommendation! I will have to think what words I would use..goal and desire don't work so well for me. I am thinking maybe "better" or "worse". |
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Post by dustylady on Mar 24, 2017 4:04:51 GMT -5
I pigged out on ice cream last night.😳 So I think I've got Desire down pat. Now for more work on Goal.
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Post by dustylady on Apr 6, 2017 18:20:15 GMT -5
I'm moving right along with my Goals and getting better at disregarding my Desires and Deceptive Brain Messages. How's everyone else doing?
The Deceptive Brain Messages would be a good name for a band.
It's windy & 45 degrees here! Spring snuck off while no one was looking.🌾
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Post by Starting Again on Apr 6, 2017 22:09:23 GMT -5
I am reading it too, on my Kindle; mostly at breakfast. Very good book. One deceptive brain message I get is thinking that because I am really too tired during much of the day, therefore the rest of the day can be a waste too. I have to learn that I do eventually get more energy, and am capable of working through a certain amount of tiredness. Even short periods of time can be productive. (I don't have a job or kids, and it is hard to summon up energy, even if I have time. But I was tired when I had a job too, so I don't think I am fooling myself). My goal is to get some serious cleaning done, even if only a little at a time.
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