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Post by def6 on Mar 29, 2017 14:50:41 GMT -5
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Post by def6 on Mar 29, 2017 14:53:06 GMT -5
Does that smiley that is throwing away the box in the trash have a "sinister" look to you?
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Post by Di on Mar 29, 2017 15:00:11 GMT -5
Yes, that smilie just cleaned out her husband's truck  |
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Post by casper on Mar 29, 2017 16:16:54 GMT -5
It would take me a week to clean out SO's truck. He can barely fit in there any more and the truck bed is packed full too.  |
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Post by def6 on Mar 29, 2017 21:07:48 GMT -5
That's what I was looking like Di and I will tame his belongings into submission. Hello casper DH said he would not do that if he could see everything he had all at one time and then he would not continue to go shopping at Harbor Freight, pawn shops and eBay because He would know what he had and how to access it.  |
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Post by def6 on Mar 29, 2017 21:08:36 GMT -5
Maybe there is some way to make that a reality.
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Post by closetofchaos on Mar 29, 2017 22:08:54 GMT -5
def6 I hope he appreciates it! ♡
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Post by def6 on Mar 29, 2017 22:55:02 GMT -5
He actually gets very anxious, sometimes mad but overall he knows if I didn't try to work with him on his stuff...the stuff would overtake him.
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Post by outfromundah on Mar 30, 2017 8:35:07 GMT -5
It's funny to me that people keep their cars stuffed with things. I've never owned a car but, because I live in an apartment in a city without private parking, I don't think I'd ever leave my belongings in a car. I grew up in an apartment, too, and my mother never kept extraneous stuff in her car. Just the spare, a jack, scraper, etc. She used to pay for a parking spot in a private lot, across the street and slightly up the hill from our apartment, but it didn't have a gate or any security. She just used to park where we could see the car from our kitchen window.
She was not a neatnik, so that wasn't why she didn't keep crap out there. I think it was a combination of being afraid that our car would be broken into (though we lived in a very low-crime suburb) AND not wanting anyone to know our business that kept her from using the car for storage. She was also very possessive about her belongings and so would want to keep them close, at home, with her. It's not part of my reality nor upbringing to leave stuff in a car.
I very rarely, if ever, see cars full of stuff when I walk along the streets in Manhattan. We just don't do that here, and if we see a car that's stuffed full, it's generally assumed they live elsewhere or in an outer borough. Maybe the people who pay to keep their cars in parking garages with security stuff their cars, though, but I wouldn't see those. Still, you have to be very sure of the parking lot staff to trust that your car is safe. I am pretty possessive about a lot of things I own, so I think I'd worry too much about anything I left inside a vehicle, unless it was inside a locked garage.
Now, my sister lives in another city where the apartment buildings are in neighborhoods with houses and lawns, and they have private alleys between the streets where the houses have gated driveways and garages and a lot of the apartment buildings have covered or gated parking. People have designated parking spaces, so she always knows where her car is, and it's a bit more secure than if she had to park in the street. She's lived there for 20 years and has developed the habit of filling her car with crap. She tells me how she has to periodically clean it out and bring stuff she's stored in it to the thrift shop.
So, in my limited experience, it seems that people who feel secure about their vehicle, most likely those who live in houses or apartment complexes where it's in a garage or driveway and not parked on a public street, probably see their car (or truck) as an extension of their home. Like an extra room! And people who don't feel that kind of security about their car probably wouldn't leave much crap in it.
Just an observation. I think that, the best way to keep that habit at bay would be to change how someone views their car, to remind them that it's not an extra room for storage. It's kind of similar to how so many of us here view any horizontal surface as a place to pile things (that is a big problem for me - any surface becomes a "table" upon which to pile things, no matter how wobbly!). If someone sees a car as an extra room, they'll want to fill it. I could see that a vehicle filled with all kinds of stuff could be dangerous at some point.
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Post by def6 on Mar 30, 2017 10:07:00 GMT -5
Hello outfromundah and thanks for your response. I have always loved the big city and thought many times I would so enjoy living in the "city that never sleeps." But , I have always driven. Where I live, it is very common to drive and even drop your child off at school and pick your child up from school. My kids have never even been on the school bus or any bus, or taxi. When you reach the age of 15 or 16, the big push is to get a car to drive to school. (I understand, none of this lifestyle is eco-friendly though) And It is so tempting for DH to hit a pawnshop or a store after work or at lunch and just eventually fill up his vehicle. If he doesn't bring purchases into the house, he can avoid having to say anything to me. or He could say Oh, I bought that item last year or something. His truck also had jackets, paperwork, tools galore, and several sets of keys. I'm fortunate that he doesn't leave fast food bags and the like in there ...that's when infestations occur. As far as somebody stealing, Nobody wants a hoarded mess, they can't see what is in there worth taking. |
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 30, 2017 10:20:34 GMT -5
so true, def6; i am one who keeps a lot of crap in the car, and nobody wants my mess. still, when i used to keep the garden tools in there (and i still do because i have no tool shed at the garden), i lock the car. but in certain neighborhoods it's a lot cheaper to just let them steal whatever they want than smash your windshield to get in. i'm sorry your husband hoards up the truck - and he is lucky to have your help and understanding in keeping it together. sounds like he also has chronic disorganization and simply bad habits, which compounds the hoarding problem (speaking from experience here!) i know we are a squalor board, and i am so grateful that non-hoarders don't come down on those of us still struggling with it; but i think it would be interesting to read how people who love hoarders do it - keep the home neat, keep their sanity, etc. what your husband says about needing to see it - it is true for a lot of people - hence the spreading out. but that is only part of it- because in truth, we hoarders pile. and things get lost in the piles. and if he had everything visually accessible, like tools, then his truck WOULD be a target for thieves and drug addicts looking for easy money for the next fix. i empathize with the position this puts you both in. |
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Post by def6 on Mar 30, 2017 11:08:35 GMT -5
Hello creativechaos Yes everything you said is so true. He has ADHD and with that comes some symptoms of OCD. When he sees an item , his mind says, " I know how to use/ fix this item." he ends up keeping the item but does not have the time to invest into the project. He does a lot of shopping because he is not sure of his inventory of tools, parts, and materials needed for projects. He says if we could put likes together and he could get an accurate idea of what he actually has, then he could let extras go and not obtain more. I want to inventory his belongings this year and give a location and how many. But on the upside, DH is an engineer, he just designed a system that saved we the taxpayers lots of money, he volunteers when his long list of to do's are left undone, and he takes off work to attend each and every doctors appointment for his aging parents. DH is something special!  I'm just here to make sure DH is not "bullied" by his stuff You make this world a better place too, Creative with your gardens and your art .....and kindness , understanding and a genuine nature. Thank you. |
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Post by casper on Mar 30, 2017 12:07:20 GMT -5
Creativechaos The way I keep the house clear is by allowing him to clutter his bedroom, 3 car 2 story garage, 3 car carport and half an acre of land. I keep the tiny house and a small patch (garden area) free of clutter. It was either this way or suicide for me. About his truck... once there was a bad ant infestation in it and I discovered that ants were not getting into the truck but had actually made their nest in there. Plenty to eat with all the food wrappers & assorted snack foods. |
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Post by def6 on Mar 30, 2017 13:03:34 GMT -5
Dear casper How great that you can have His territory and Her territory, in which you have been very generous. We are having a" territorial dispute" right now over his side of the bathroom vanity. I would like to keep the vanity totally clear so that I may take out the spray bottle and cloth and in 2 minutes I'm done cleaning it. After 6 months of an always clean vanity, DH is reclaiming his territory by putting his catch all container on it. He has piled stuff 2 1/2 ft right there before. |
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Post by casper on Mar 30, 2017 13:12:32 GMT -5
I finally won the "empty bathroom vanity" war. There are drawers just under that counter and whenever he left things on the counter top I would just sweep them into a drawer and wipe away. He eventually learned not to do that. Had the same problem with him doing "the drop" on the kitchen counter, I have only one, but after a long time of me immediately removing any clutter to his bedroom, he eventually learned.  |
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