A little bit about myself (okay well, a LOT!) Dec 16, 2017 0:56:59 GMT -5 creativechaos, casper, and 5 more like this Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostBack to Top Post by phoebepj on Dec 16, 2017 0:56:59 GMT -5 Sorry if this post gets a little wordy, but I thought I would start a post here to detail what I have been through, throughout the years of struggle and also to help detail what might help others in overcoming their squalor and other issues surrounding maintenance and success. First, I believe that everyone is capable of achieving success. Small goals lead to even bigger goals. Start small and then work your way up to the bigger pieces. If you cannot handle the small stuff, break the small stuff up even smaller and do those things. A good example would be taking out the trash. If you feel like you struggle with this issue, maybe make your first goal getting the trash in the trash can (or starting slow by picking up x number of pieces, slowly increasing the area until its all cleaned up). Once that is accomplished on a regular basis, now empty the trash can and decide what to do with the bag. It helps to start a routine at this point. For myself, once i moved to this new place, I established routines to clean the litter boxes and take out the trash faithfully. I do this every day without fail.Back to my history. I have always struggled with depression and anxiety in some form or another. I came from a very mentally abusive household. There was some physical abuse which I recognize now, but the mental abuse far outweighs the physical damage that was done. My house was normal, even borderline OCD spotless. I was expected to keep my room clean at all times and my mother would flip her lid if things weren't done the way she wanted them done. A piece of clothing hanging out of a drawer? Better dump the whole dresser into the center of the floor and stand there screaming at me while I picked it up and begged her to stop. I suppose that when I left for college at 18, the desire to stay clean was no longer there, and I simply let things fall to the wayside way too many times. My parents had made it perfectly clear that I was not allowed back home after college. I moved out on my own and got an apartment in the town where I live now. The job I moved here for was equally as abusive to employees, so I opted to quit after 3 short months, and simply stayed. Because the apartment had no formal lease attached, I simply became a month to month tenant. I also slipped in and out of various depressive states and at my worst, I bagged up approximately 140 some odd bags of trash. I had been in and out of jobs for a few years before I found the bus driving job. Unchecked anxiety and depression and wreak havoc on someones life and livelihood. In the mean time, over the course of the years I obtain 3 cats which are my emotional support animals. It has been very easy over the years to forget to throw something away, or make excuses for not getting the trash out. I'd gotten warnings about my animals before but most of the time they were empty threats. This past time... the landlord began to blame me for everything. AC not working downstairs? Must be my fault. The blame started slowly, but then it intensified with every passing day until he chose to tell me, cats go or I go. So, I left.So, where am I now? I am happy. My landlord is a wonderful person who really totally GETS me. I should have moved a long time ago.