|
|
Post by tryingharder on Jan 26, 2018 17:46:47 GMT -5
Hi
I am new here. I have been looking for some support with sorting out my home that doesn't come in the form of well meaning over bearing friends who think a quick wipe round with a damp cloth might fix my issue. Trust me, it will not!
I have an problem in every room, I have no working boiler, therefore no hot water. I have not had anyone in my house for several years and the thought of a visitor will send me into hiding. I only go into my house under the cover of darkness and I never make a sound, which is part of my issue because I cannot clean and clear anything in silence but the very thought of my neighbours knowing that I am in the house never mind that I might be living in such horrific conditions makes me feel nauseous, I am literally paralysed by the thought of anyone knowing that I am in my house, so I sit in the dark, in silence.
This brings me to my biggest issue. Garbage bags. I cannot put them in my bin because I don't want my neighbours to know I have such a lot of rubbish. I can't take it to the local rubbish/ recycling facility because the staff there are aggressive and judgmental. So, even if I convince myself that I am able to tackle a room and can bag up the contents, those bags will stay with the others that are already cluttering every room.
|
|
|
|
Post by razy on Jan 26, 2018 17:58:13 GMT -5
Welcome!
Mostly people are too busy worrying about their own miserable lives to even notice, let alone care what you are doing! It is more likely your lack of activity draws more attention than some activity,
Anyways, what you do is no ones business but yours!
Maybe you could hire someone with a truck to come and take all the bags away in one go, there are businesses that haul away all sorts of rubbish and they don't care as long as you pay.
We will be here to support you, there are plenty of people here that know what you're going through.
|
|
|
|
Post by def6 on Jan 26, 2018 19:26:20 GMT -5
Hello tryingharder and Welcome to this group Your story is not uncommon and has been expressed many times on this board. By coming on here and telling us , you have already breeched the silence that you've been living with. It hurts to have to wait until dark to enter your own home and then only to sit in silence. It is very important to be able to get trash out for pick up. I would encourage you to gather a bag of trash ...even a tall kitchen bag wouldn't be out of the way and walk it to the outside trash. Take note that you have overcome your fears and little by little you will become empowered to do more. Work up to one bag per day out. Best of Luck to you. |
|
|
|
Post by Arid on Jan 26, 2018 21:20:11 GMT -5
tryingharder: People have trash/garbage. That's just a fact of life! It is "normal." **EVERYBODY** has trash and garbage--even so-called "neat freaks." (In fact, they probably have more than the rest of us combined!  !!) There are **plenty** of people the world over who throw out a single bag of garbage **PER DAY.** Please, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to do the same! Welcome to the board!! Arid |
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Jan 27, 2018 0:37:06 GMT -5
Welcome trying harder!
Yes, everyone has trash. If you never put any trash in the bin, then the neighbors will wonder why you never put any trash out! If you only enter your house in the dark, neighbors will wonder why they never see you in the daylight.
Get a small bag, fill it with trash, and take it outside today. Just a little one. See how it feels. Best wishes!
|
|
|
|
Post by bub on Jan 27, 2018 4:49:40 GMT -5
Hi! Welcome!
Your tax dollars are paying for trash pick up so why not use it? Minimalism is the new year trend right now so if anyone asks a none-of-your-business question just tell them you're purging or renovating.
Everyone is always going to have an opinion. Yours is what matters right now and you have a goal- clear out to get the water back on! What can you do right now for 90 seconds to get closer to that goal?
|
|
|
|
Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Jan 27, 2018 7:53:40 GMT -5
I like it!
Tell em your going minimalist!!
Or to mind their own business
|
|
|
|
Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Jan 27, 2018 7:55:35 GMT -5
There is a video somewhere on here about this lady who heats water on her kitchen stove and does a whole kitchen full of dirty dishes.
I actually quite enjoyed watching it.
I will look for it
|
|
|
|
Post by sidestep on Jan 27, 2018 9:06:00 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Tea on Jan 27, 2018 10:04:53 GMT -5
Welcome, tryingharder! It's so great that you've found this community and decided to post. def6 is right; just being able to talk about it with people who understand and don't judge you for your mess is such an important and liberating first step. It helped me so much to have a place to rant and share my journey. We all want to help you! I understand your shame and fear. Last July I had the worst squalor I've ever lived in and through a series of cleaning binges and some humbling experiences I have living spaces now that I can actually live in! This is possible for anyone, even those of us at our worst. Please stay and let us support you.   |
|
|
|
Post by tryingharder on Jan 27, 2018 16:48:58 GMT -5
Thank you all so much for your kind, supportive and of course sensible words. Sometimes it takes someone else to state the obvious before you see it for yourself.. garbage is normal!!!  |
|
|
|
Post by catcat on Jan 28, 2018 0:41:00 GMT -5
Please stick to it & take out the trash---remembering all the while that trash is a normal part of life. I imagine that what bothers you is the fact that you have quite a lot of it because you weren't taking it out---but that also can be overcome. If you take out a kitchen bag during each day, maybe you can take out another one--or a big black one--at night under cover of darkness---if that would make you feel better.When I am decluttering or downsizing, I don't care how many bags are there, as long as the trash collectors will take that many.Most people, as has been said, don't really pay that much attention to stuff like that. Please stay & let us help you. This board has helped me so much. You will find us a very non-judgmental group. How could we be judgmental when we are here ourselves ? We have all needed this board, to whatever degree, or we wouldn't have joined. Wishing you motivation & courage & seeing improvements---and WATER !!! Blessings, catcat  |
|
|
|
Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Jan 28, 2018 6:49:09 GMT -5
Thanks side step!
I watched it again.
She’s likeable and funny.
Trying harder
I hope you’re getting up courage to take out at least some garbage
|
|
|
|
Post by phoenixcat on Jan 28, 2018 10:49:06 GMT -5
Welcome!! Yes garbage is normal.  I'm guessing you are paying for it - it makes good financial sense to use what you pay for.  I would also suggest that you get some blackout curtains if that would make you feel more comfortable in the house after dark. Once again, I'm assuming you are paying for the house too It is yours to enjoy! Maybe you can "revisit" your thoughts on going to the local rubbish/recycling facility. The people that work in the facility are not doing the most pleasant job and no matter what you are doing - I'm sure they have seen worse. Not to mention if they pay for recycling - they may have seen dozens of homeless people there every day after collecting cans and bottles. Where I used to live, the cost of living was so high that I would see older people bicycling with enormous plastic bags attached to their backs and their bikes as part of their supplemental income after retirement age. Sad. They are also in charge of people renting out entire dumpsters to clear out houses. Many people on this board are also struggling with disposal issues and we are proof that you can get through it and thrive. When we left our old rental house, the carpet was so terrible due to our cats - that we paid to have it replaced. I had to deal with the horrid embarrassment of having Got Junk people come out multiple times and dispose of our terrible smelly upholstered furniture in our terrible smelly house. Then I had to have movers come in and pack/move us in that disgusting mess. Finally, when the carpet people came - I pretended it wasn't my house  I acted like I was a landlord left with this mess from previous tenants. Maybe at the rubbish place - you could act like it is someone else's stuff - that you are cleaning out a relative's house. How will they know any different? Or as others have said, that you are working on a big project. If anyone actually looks in the bags to find out different - they have WAY MORE PROBLEMS that you do! Yes garbage is normal. And we have all lived with the aftermath of a clean out. Unfortunately it is just another painful part of the process. But the best part is it is finite - it has an end. Eventually, all the "overage" will be gone and you will be down to just your weekly output. Where I live now, our garbage people prefer the cans are stuffed full - it makes them much less likely to tip in the street if we have sudden wind. And, they are easier to maneuver for the claws on the garbage truck. It didn't get that way overnight and it will take some time to get it all straightened out. But we have your back. Many of us have done something similar. And this board is full to tips on how to get started, how to progress and how to maintain. And, we will support you through every embarrassing moment. As I was going through the move and the carpet clear out - I was on this board constantly to get support and reassurance - no where else could I say how terrible it all was. And, I'm still here! I survived. You will too!! PC |
|
|
|
Post by rededen on Jan 30, 2018 1:11:43 GMT -5
Hello Darl, EVERYBODY has trash (or rubbish as us Aussies say). I am a reformed hoarder and I have rubbish. My best friend is totally anal retentive in the house and she has rubbish. Her place looks like it just stepped out of Vogue Interiors and there's still rubbish. Even if we went back to living in caves, we'd still have rubbish. We'd have to get rid of that woolly mammoth carcass somehow after the family's Sunday lunch. So you see we all have rubbish.
If you think people are going to pry into your rubbish bin and find out how much rubbish you have, well they're probably not. Just tell people to bugger off if they start criticising you. It's none of their bloody business anyway.
And something else. Most people are so wound up in their own lives so much that they are not going to pry into yours.
Now stay with us. We don't judge. We're all been there, as they say, in one form or another. I might not hoard anymore, but I often struggle with getting rid of stuff. I don't find it easy to make the decision what to keep and what to toss. I get so tired from working that I often struggle with the housework or task, however small.
I think you need to have running water, hot and cold. Especially hot water. Plumbers, roof repairers, appliance repairers whoever have seen it all. They have seen the incredibly clean and tidy house, and quite the opposite. If you only go into your house under the cover of darkness, where are you living? You need to find some kind of sanctuary. The place where you feel safe. You are safe here.
|
|
