annaea
New Member
Joined: October 2016
Posts: 5 
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Post by annaea on Feb 20, 2018 13:33:09 GMT -5
My house is filthy and cluttered. I need to get myself and it together. My husband and daughter aren't helpful. I want to find a way to be able to just stay on top of it myself, and not lose ground when my illness flairs up, or life gets busy. I'm miserable living like this.
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Post by Serendipity on Feb 20, 2018 16:05:44 GMT -5
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Post by joyinvirginia on Feb 20, 2018 16:27:32 GMT -5
Welcome! Look around the forums and you will get some ideas. If you share what are your biggest challenges, members will share some ideas and what has worked for them.
I have found that having trash cans in every room helps. And when the kids werev younger, Saturday morning was trash time/ dump day. Everyone had to bring their small trash cans to me downstairs, and I would put all the trash in a big bag, to take to the dump. I live in an area without county trash service, and I'm too cheap to pay anyone to take my trash to the dump!
Welcome!
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Post by emeraldine on Feb 20, 2018 18:02:53 GMT -5
Hi Annaea, and welcome.
I so get your exasperation. I feel it!
Do you want to tell us some specifics about your household clutter? We're full of great advice and support here, and whatever you're dealing with, someone on SooS will have conquered it and be able to talk you through it.
Having accomplished a huge post-divorce clean-out (after being married to someone who expected a tidy house but hoarded it to the gills and bitterly resented my cleaning it in his presence AND has his parents gang up on me), may I suggest you vigorously assert yourself? Tell slacker hubby and DD to leave the house and go entertain themselves while you clean. Put on some great music, make yourself a cup of what you fancy, then go for it. Turn it into a fun day just for you.
I'm sorry you have an illness. I did too -- I had whooping cough three times back to back. It can seem too hard to keep fighting for yourself, but you must do it.
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Post by shellsncheese on Feb 20, 2018 22:59:31 GMT -5
Welcome!
Remember that you are not your mess.
As others have suggested if you tell us what you struggle with, we can offer suggestions. Otherwise, find a post (I like the weekday workalongs) that appeals to you and jump right in.
You can do this!
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Post by def6 on Feb 20, 2018 23:36:39 GMT -5
Hello annaea and Welcome Aboard! You have made an important first step by simply coming here and joining up. I hear your frustrations about family members not joining in and being helpful. The truth is ...there is no guarantee that they will. Back when I first joined , my number one complaint was my husband not helping-I was full of resentment...so much so my resentment was hampering my progress. Now my resolve has to be getting it done by myself . The only help has been incidental, but I'm thankful for that. I'm even thankful for my slow days. I've learned that any task -no matter how small helps. I even had to develop tasks that could be done in 5 minutes on my way out of the house. A typical day for me looks like: Wake up, pull the covers up and slide out the side of the bed. bed made bathroom swish n swipe dishes empty the clean and put away so dirty ones can be placed in the dishwasher throughout the day...empty sink. On to the laundry...fold contents of dryer put away and get the washer going with a load. Anything else that gets done is an effort for the routine above to stay simple, easy and quick. This is simplified to the bare bones. |
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Carey
New Member
Joined: February 2018
Posts: 52
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Post by Carey on Feb 26, 2018 0:19:33 GMT -5
My house is filthy and cluttered. I need to get myself and it together. My husband and daughter aren't helpful. I want to find a way to be able to just stay on top of it myself, and not lose ground when my illness flairs up, or life gets busy. I'm miserable living like this. Welcome, annaea! You sound overwhelmed with it all. I am too. There's a lot of support here. I'm no where near making any progress but I've been helped just by reading what others have written.
As someone here has told me- motivation follows action. Each day is a new day. I recommend that you go easy on yourself and just do baby steps like me. Figure out what you know you're capable of every day and do that. Every morning, I have to force myself to move. My latest plan is to say to myself every day- pick up one piece of trash and throw it away in the trash can outside. That's it! I'm capable of doing at least that every day. If you can do more than pick up one piece of trash, then tell yourself that each day. For example, if it's wash, dry, and put away the dishes, then do that! When you look around the house and are overwhelmed with what's not done, just do the dishes! Make that the one chore you do every day until it becomes a habit. Add more of the basic chores as you feel like it. But when all else fails, just do the dishes! For me, it's going to be- just pick up one piece of trash and throw it away in the trash can outside! Baby steps. Also, set your timer. That's helpful to me. Figure out how much time you're capable of working then set your timer. Work for that time period then take a huge break. Don't set your timer for 8 hours or even 4 hours. Don't set it for anything more than 2 hours at a time. Be sure you plan actually breaks where you really rest. Set a timer so you don't rest too long. My preference is work 15 minutes and rest 45! Do what works for you! Celebrate all your accomplishments, however small. Most of all, don't beat yourself up!  |
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Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Feb 27, 2018 10:32:05 GMT -5
Maybe you have already, but
Read fivecats story
Under
Squalor board
Favorite threads
Very motivating
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Post by Arid on Mar 2, 2018 18:30:58 GMT -5
Some of us can work for only as little as 3 to 5 minutes at a time, but--hey! That's better than **ZERO!!**
Done repeatedly, even those small "bursts" of work add up to make a **BIG** difference in one's life. Never forget that.
Welcome to the board!
Arid
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annaea
New Member
Joined: October 2016
Posts: 5
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Post by annaea on Oct 4, 2018 7:19:32 GMT -5
Thank you all for the welcome.
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Post by Irisheyes on Oct 4, 2018 7:42:27 GMT -5
Welcome, and welcome back, annaea!
I still was on hiatus here when you posted your intro, so... Hi, and I am glad you're here!
How are things progressing for you?
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Post by larataylor on Oct 4, 2018 8:14:01 GMT -5
@annea - I was on a hiatus when you first posted, but I see you now!
I also have a DH and DD who would not help with the house. I went through a time where I was very busy with a full time job and publishing a book. I identified five essential chores that kept life from falling into complete chaos - dishes, laundry, trash, litter boxes, quick vacuuming for cat hair and tracked litter. I actually hired a young person to do these twice a week, and did what I could do daily. Some things got grungy, but life could go on.
I recommend jumping onto a work thread here. It's almost as good as having someone physically help you in your house.
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