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Post by creativechaos on Dec 14, 2008 15:59:01 GMT -5
hello dear group;
i have been AWOL for 3 months, maybe longer. suffice to say that i slid into depression and slovenly squalorous habits that are so comfortably familiar to me, and here i am at a consistent level 3.; rotting food odors, smelly apt. and chaos all around me.
i'm not proud of the squalor, and frustrate myself with my slobbish and *** habits, and still want to get to the root of what kind of thinking (or unconsciousness) allows me to be so slovenly and to treat myself so poorly, even down to not taking basic care of things like brushing my teeth (a lifelong struggle, because of which i will need false teeth.) but what is more important than "figuring it out" is to begin to DO something about the squalor again and to act on my behalf..
so here i am, and very glad to be back here! i know that i can act myself into a new way of thinking. i was going to give the gift to myself of a clean apt. for christmas, but i just had to move a bunch of stuff over here from storage and my mosaic studio; stuff that could freeze. we are having the coldest weather of 20 years. who knows how long my whole living room will be taken up by the added mess to an already level 3. assuming the electricity doesn't get blown out by the wind, things MAY not freeze here in the apt. in the next week or 10 days of this.
it is good to tell the truth about this all and fess up. now i can get to work beginning to turn it around again. today i need to put warm cloth and curtains up and barricade the windows so my place will be warmer. all that arctic wind is sucking the heat right out of here. i also want to wash the dishes and begin cleaning up the kitchen as well as start putting away the obvious things that have a "home". i have just a few hours of daylight yet and lots to do.
will be back on listzilla soon.
thanks and love
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Post by merrymaid on Dec 14, 2008 16:15:57 GMT -5
Welcome Back, CC! WTG on deciding to do your curtains to stay warm. Food and warmth have to come first  |
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Post by crazycatlady on Dec 14, 2008 16:26:27 GMT -5
Welcome back, CreativeChaos. Isn't it wonderful to have a supportive place where we can come?
Good job on getting things moved back to your home so they won't be destroyed by the weather.
I'm cheering you on as you weather proof the windows, and start reclaiming your home! 
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Dec 14, 2008 16:36:17 GMT -5
-  Oh I am so glad to see you, creative chaos. I've missed you and have been wondering how you were. It's so easy to slip, isn't it ? I know all too well. I fell, too, and have been clearing my way back out. I actually made a lot of headway with teensy mini-challenges.  - |
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Post by zinnia on Dec 14, 2008 19:42:52 GMT -5
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Post by timetochange on Dec 14, 2008 20:29:25 GMT -5
HUGS
If you can't have a whole house for xmas, can you maybe clean off a table or small corner and put something cheerful up?
Baby steps!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 14, 2008 20:33:13 GMT -5
Thanks all, for the warm welcoming back, merry, CCL, and Zinnia. Y'all make me feel so welcomed back. I have missed you all. Lioness, thank you for your kind words. I have drawn much strength and hope from your words in my time here, and was especially moved by reading your post today entitled The Equality of Squalor, and all the responses. Much food for thought there. I have all but one window "weatherproofed" with at least some form of curtains, and that only because my little box of push pins seems to be lost in the piles and that one has no curtain rod. I've done about 2/3 of the dishes, and cleared some of the kitchen floor of the clutter and rubble. I took out a small bag of trash and recycling. I put all of my shoes away and hung up some clothes that were on the floor but still clean. I hung up my coats. It's been dark for about 1/2 hour. Electricity is holding so far; keep your fingers crossed everyone-- especially for the elders who have no alternative heat sources and no place to go or a way to get there if we lose power for any length of time. I will keep working on getting that last window to the north covered up. Lioness, tell me more about your mini challenges and progresses. Are they posted somewhere, or did you just make them for yourself as you went along? I'm trying to make this fun, I love little games and it's how I keep going. I don't work in a "linear" fashion,  . I love how when I tried to write that four letter word beginning with "L", in my post, the word was made into four asterisks! That made me smile big. I think I'll read a bit here on site to get a bit more inspiration from all of the wise people here. love and hugs |
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 14, 2008 20:34:51 GMT -5
ttc, our posts must have crossed. what a great idea! i just found a tiny christmas tree 6" tall and put it out, and hung some bells with a big red bow on the inside of my door. already, the place looks more festive. thanks!
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Post by messymimi on Dec 14, 2008 22:06:15 GMT -5
Glad you found your way back. You can get it cleaned again.
messymimi
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Post by mlb1985 on Dec 14, 2008 22:09:20 GMT -5
hi! welcome back. we seem to have alot in common. i was without my internet after my hubby and i ran off to myrtle beach for vacation in august and when we got back the internet was shut off. and about the dental issues i really feel your pain. i have peridontal desiese and am on the road to getting dentures one day soon i hope. the pain is wayy to bad. im so glad i am able to get back in touch with others like myself. i should be online alot more in january i hope. best of luck with the cold weather. merry christmas to all!!!!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Dec 14, 2008 23:01:25 GMT -5
- i know that i can act myself into a new way of thinking. - |
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Dec 15, 2008 1:24:24 GMT -5
I will join you in digging out from under the squalor. I am in the same boat that you, and so many of us are. The best part of this though is that you were able to recognize the problem, and come back. There will always be relapses (I think) but hopefully for both of us, each one will get shorter and shorter.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Dec 15, 2008 1:46:07 GMT -5
Welcome back! I too like the way you put it: I know I can act myself into a new way of thinking.
Thank you for that. I am putting it on my mirror.
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 16, 2008 0:16:00 GMT -5
thanks all of you for your warmth, encouragement, and caring. let's do this thing together! time to change, black swan, and mlb1985, welcome! i've been awol so long, you're new to me. hey there, messyshell and mimi, nice to see you here. lioness, i actually got that phrase from some fellow 12 steppers and it helps so much to remember it, and yes, it is brilliant! i'm still here, the power is still on, thankfully! |
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Post by puppybox on Dec 17, 2008 13:35:45 GMT -5
I used to force/trick myself into cleaning with mini challenges and games too. I am amazed to realise I don't do it anymore yet am still maintaining my current state (With lots of backsliding).
Here are some games I would do:
make a list of a few things, preferrably equal sorts of tasks. rip list into strips, crumple up strips, put in hat, pick one and HAVE to do that one. If demand resistance roared I'd then pick another one and feel happy to do that one not the original one.
make a tic tac toe board (this game is also known as noughts and crosses in some parts) of tasks,with the most unpleasant in the middle. then play against myself by accomplishing tasks and filling out the board. this only works with shorter tasks)
flylady game:
27 fling boogie- pick up 27 things. can be trash, or things to put away, or jsut moving them off the floor to a table, 1 "thing" can be defined flexibly.
pick an object: (usually its books for me, or clothes), and pick up all of that object and put it in proper place. (or close enough, if proper place is blocked.)
you can also do the above with a colour: deal with all BLUE items.(in 1 room)
or a material: pick up all PLASTIC things.
I still do timed rewards -play my computer game for 15 minutes and then clean for 15. or 5 anf 5, sometimes.
Cleaning during the commercials works if you have a tv in that room. this can be frustrating though as tasks sometimes refuse to time themselves to the show.
My new thing is horizontal surfaces. I pick one and do it. I find this has great emotional rewards, somethign about clear horixontal surfaces is so calming!! its not hard to straighten the books on a shelf and remove non books from the shelf (stick them anywhere else except the floor). and then admire. I just love it all out of proportion. If you're not in a rush line up the books by height. I then stand there and admire for hours.
Clearing the top of the tv doesn't take long and is also satisfying.
Music -put on a song and force self to be workign for whole duration of song and extreme pace. then stop. the next song can be break and/or planning of what to do next. or you can stop after one song and still feel virtuous that you have done one thing that day.
hope any or that might be useful to you.
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