|
Post by dayeanu on Dec 25, 2018 21:12:54 GMT -5
For those who are not old enough to know me, I've been here, off and on, in and out, for... 10 years now. I think I first found this place around November, 2008.
I've had great successes, and setbacks. I've had great insights, and forgotten it all. Sometimes when I've read my old posts, I've wondered WHO wrote that... it couldn't have been me, could it?
I am back with a new thing... I've been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, at nearly 68 years old!!! and am getting medication adjusted for that.
I also realize that pills will fix some things, but won't fix everything.
And I am absolutely convinced that 90% of my squalor problem is ADD-related. I am reading a lot of literature on ADD/ADHD (I think of it as one and the same, so will just call it ADD from this point on, unless someone can explain the difference to me.)
I have learned that ADD is not what I always thought it was... physical hyperactivity.
I have learned that there are three types of ADD: hyperactive, impulsive, and inattentive.
I have inattentive and impulsive types. As I have read literature (mostly because I didn't really believe I had ADD), I have seen over and over how so many of the scenarios we hoarders wade through every day, are manifestations of inability to stay focused.
Ever read the post from the woman who started gathering up dirty laundry to wash, stopped to do a dozen things along the way, and never made it to the washer with the laundry? That's my inattentive ADD.
Or how about having things sorted out, but can't organize them/put them away? That's my ADD in action.
Buying too much stuff, things I don't need, and like a drunk sobered up the next day, wondered why? And would return it but I can't remember where I put the receipt?
SO MANY things, so much of my squalor, I believe, is a direct result of ADD. So I'm going to try to approach it from that viewpoint this time, and see how it goes.
FWIW, I'm at an all time squalor low, but seem to have leveled off. Maybe it's the meds, but I seem to have reached a point of stasis, so I'm going to see if I can make progress from here.
(I also know that much of the literature suggests OCD is a big issue. And it may be for many, but now that I'm better informed, I realize a lot of the things I attributed to OCD, are actually a component of ADD.)
So I'm going to approach squalor and disorder from the viewpoint of ADD, and see what happens.
|
|
|
Post by razy on Dec 25, 2018 21:44:27 GMT -5
Hi dayeanu! What a great Christmas present seeing you back again! (I seem to remember you came back about this time last year too) I am so happy to hear you have a diagnosis that seems to fit and even happier to hear you are at an all time low squalor wise! I'm looking forward to seeing catching up with you!
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Dec 25, 2018 21:47:20 GMT -5
Hi dayeanu! What a great Christmas present seeing you back again! (I seem to remember you came back about this time last year too) I am so happy to hear you have a diagnosis that seems to fit and even happier to hear you are at an all time low squalor wise! I'm looking forward to seeing catching up with you! Thanks, razy! I'm glad you're here, too!
|
|
|
Post by creativechaos on Dec 25, 2018 22:03:42 GMT -5
hi dayeanu! glad your've back woo hoo - another adhd person! nodding along with your entire post! i was "finally" diagnosed when i went into my pdoc and told her i thought i was; the pattern fit for a lifetime... and i think i am all 3 kinds. i think they decided to use ADHD to be all-inclusive, from what i've read about why the H is in there. so the one thing i 've NOT done consistently or with good effect is the pills. i tried the ritalin generic and the crash was terrible - i was terrible! the adderall put me to sleep but i never stay on anything prescribed so i should give it another chance. i'd love to pm you or call again like we used to, compare notes, share resources. I'm sure you know about the ADDitude website, which is where i read most of what I read. please pm me your phone and mailing again because i "lost" it again! the other thing i want to say is how adhd can cause a lifetime of depression, simply for not being diagnosed properly from the beginning and wondering "what's WRONG with me? why can't i do the simple things of putting things away?" etc. i was thought to be "retarded" and put through all kinds of tests. they couldn't figure out how my tests showed me to be "bright." i had terrible behavioral problems (impulsive) and was kinetic - wanted to be a dancer (hyperactive) and was called, all throughout elementary school "the absent minded professor" and it wasn't because they thought i was professor material. i couldn't figure out, when i taught that little bit of art, why i always clicked with the "learning disability" and "special needs" kids so well. duh - it's because we "got" each other! Women, especially, suffer adhd silently because we are so good at working around the issue and hiding it. our jobs depended on it. i wasn't even functional enough for most jobs or working around people so i chose labor (gardening) so i could make my own hrs and find people that could tolerate my quirks. it is a relief to get the diagnosis and realize, as the book title says, that you're NOT layzee, stoopid, or crazy! i still try to find ADHD information to help me and will for the duration. Welcome to our tribe! i'll pm you my info again too. much love - and let's get out of the matrix!
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Dec 25, 2018 22:44:32 GMT -5
creativechaos, yes to everything you wrote! TotallyADD.com is another great site. I read both, a lot, because pills don't fix everything. It has helped me so much, just knowing there is an explanation. (I was diagnosed once with OCD, but it never seemed to fit, and the medicine for that was awful. I have since realized that many of my "OCD" traits are really ADHD. Nail biting, for example, is not OCD for me, its ADHD fidgeting. I found that I had to look more closely at the thinking behind the behavior, and how I reacted, or not, to it being interrupted.) I'm on a very low dose of adderall. It helps me sleep better, and helps me stay focused. I was so scatterbrained I went to the doctor to be tested for dementia...I scored so high(good) (a nearly perfect score) on the dementia memory tests, the doctors were stunned... yet I couldn't find my keys, phone, shoes and purse to go to town. AMD yes, all the years of wondering "what is wrong with me" causes depression and terrible self-esteem issues. I'll be honest, one of the motivations for coming back to post here (besides that I need tons of help!), is that I suspect others here may have ADHD as a big part of their underlying hoarding problem. I can recall so many others who sounded just like me! I pm'd you!
|
|
|
Post by larataylor on Dec 25, 2018 22:56:09 GMT -5
Great to see you back dayeanu ! I'm pretty sure that ADHD is an issue for my DH and the root of a lot of his messy and hoarding behavior ... but he's not the type to seek any kind of help. It helps me, though, to see it this way.
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Dec 25, 2018 23:04:00 GMT -5
I've also been reading how nutrition can affect ADHD. In one study, every child with ADHD who was tested, had low.zinc levels. B6 is another one, vitamin C, and Omega 3's.
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Dec 25, 2018 23:06:54 GMT -5
Welcome back Daye! so glad you got a diagnosis and that the meds are helping you!
|
|
|
Post by def6 on Dec 25, 2018 23:36:32 GMT -5
It is a Christmas gift to see you here dayeanu and I think that it is terrific the way you have been your best advocate in getting diagnosed correctly. 68 is great! There is no time like the present to have less of a "hard time" if you don't have to.
|
|
|
Post by Arid on Dec 26, 2018 0:26:14 GMT -5
DAYE!!!! How wonderful to "hear" from you again!! I was just thinking about you the other day--truly, I was! As others already have said, it is a lovely Christmas present to hear from you today. I don't suppose never finishing anything one starts could be a symptom of ADD . . . ? (Don't ask me why *I* am asking that . . . ! !!) A very happy Arid
|
|
|
Post by ohblondie on Dec 26, 2018 8:58:26 GMT -5
Daye! You are home again!! you were missed
|
|
|
Post by dayeanu on Dec 26, 2018 17:24:47 GMT -5
Thank you, each and every one of you for the welcome. I have a lot of anxiety about starting again, but, if I dont start, I'll never get anywhere, so...
And everyone's support and just you all being here means SO MUCH to me.
I have a lit of dread, but I'm anxious to see where this new adventure takes me.
|
|
|
Post by Di on Dec 26, 2018 19:01:30 GMT -5
I have been thinking about you. I have missed seeing your posts. Welcome back. You have been missed
|
|
|
Post by purpleangel on Dec 26, 2018 19:17:42 GMT -5
dayeanu !! Merry Christmas (day-after) and welcome back. This is the very best place to be yourself and get on track to creating a wonderful home. I hope the new meds and diagnosis help you. hugs,
|
|
|
Post by TML on Dec 26, 2018 20:06:01 GMT -5
Welcome back!
|
|