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Post by dtesposito on Oct 29, 2019 22:00:48 GMT -5
TML, I don't think I want to start doing anything on eBay or any of those sites--you have to pay fees and a percentage of the sale and it's just not worth it. The reason I sell the books is because you can look up the books on the sale site, they tell you the exact price they'll give you, and you get a postage paid label--seems more straight forward. I have a friend who sometimes takes my donations to bring to a charity shop--I'm going to ask her if she thinks they look up items like this before pricing--I'm sure they do, the shop I used to volunteer for did. That way it'll at least benefit a charity.
I actually love Star Trek but these lights are not anything I would put up, they look kind of silly. I honestly can't imagine how I ended up with them!
Thank you decade and swampy--I have to admit I'm a little bit excited too--if I had my choice I would prefer to repair and totally fix up my current apartment, move my sister up here somewhere nearby, and get more involved on the condo board so the building didn't annoy me so much. But since those things can't happen, I'm looking at the positive aspects of moving down there--besides spending time with my sister (and not worrying about her all the time since I can't easily get to her place) I'll have a place with functioning plumbing, a working dryer, a back porch and yard, and no chance of plumbing above me leaking into my place in the middle of the night! And, a big push to get rid of the stuff that I don't really need, but have been keeping anyway.
Diane
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Post by 1rarebeautifuldove on Oct 30, 2019 22:25:34 GMT -5
Having a real reason, as in moving to a smaller location, and wanting to be ready to do so by a certain time will really help with freeing yourself up of many things. It is really helping me to have a "real" person that I want to let into my home to help me be far more ruthless than for some ambiguous or imaginary person or reason.
It sounds like the new place will have many nice features -- a working dryer, a back porch and a yard. Those all sound really nice to me. Plus, the functioning plumbing. Having a floor to yourself will be nice too. The stairs will be a nice thing to help keep you in shape. Oh, how I wish and long for a home with stairs. My Gram's place had stairs and she got up and down them right up until she died. A tip from her -- she would kick, literally kick, the closed laundry bag of clothes down the stairs rather than carry them. I laughed every time I saw her do this. Then I did try it and it does make it easier to get down the stairs that way. She lived to be 102.
Sounds like you will be in a house. Having someone to be with will add nice benefits too. It is one reason that I like living with my mom. It is better than being alone, even though now, I am hoping I can get a "better" roommate of the husband variety. But it is nice to have someone to eat with and watch a movie with, talk with, etc.
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Post by dtesposito on Oct 31, 2019 23:07:09 GMT -5
I'm getting to a point where I have to stop myself and get focused. For the last few days I've just been wandering around and looking for pockets of stuff that I can get rid of. And I am finding things, but I'm also finding that to really work on a category it's going to mean pulling lots of stuff out and spreading it around. I'm starting to make little messes because I'm starting a category and then realizing that there's more intensive work to do to finish it.
For example, here are some of my thought processes today. First I went through all my winter gloves, mittens, scarves and headwear. Pulled it all out on my bed, and see that I have some items to donate. However those have to be washed, then the things I found in a dresser drawer that I want to wear now need to be washed, but I don't want to do them in the same load so that I have to remember which is which. So now I have a little bag of keeps that I will wash along with one load, then a little bag of donates to wash with the next load--project not done yet.
Then I opened a drawer that has fabric that I used to use to make little catnip squares for the shelter cats. Well, I haven't worked at the shelter for a long time, but they were fun to make so I could still make them--but do I need all that fabric? So I looked through and found ONE piece that I didn't want. Okay, maybe this is a decision for another day.
Then I pulled several Christmas CDs down from the very high shelf that they live on during non-holiday time. I remembered that I had them separated into the ones I liked the most and the ones I only liked a little. So I thought I could get rid of some from the second pile--of course, once I started looking through them, I realized that I'll need to listen to some of them to either confirm that I don't like them that much, or else copy the song or two that I like from each one to my computer before getting rid of them. The timing is good, I always start listening to Christmas music starting November 1st. But--that means the piles will sit here for a while, because I will only do one or two at a time--project will be ongoing.
So...I'm seeing lots of possible places to purge, too many--I want to do them all at once, but I also don't want to live in a huge mess until I move.
The other issue is that until I can get out there and measure rooms and know for sure what furniture I can take with me, I don't have a clear idea of how much stuff I can take.
I'm really happy that I've been purging with the "space available" idea, paring things down to fit in my space. Because now that seems second nature and I will be able to do it with the move--but not until I know which pieces of furniture will come with, and which will not.
I'm reminded of the idea of most of our hoards being items saved for "a life I do not lead", and I think I might be thinking of my time at my sister's as "a life I don't know if I'll lead or not". When I'm out there I will not be doing any dog walking, so aside from the 1-2 hours of data entry a week that I've been doing and will probably still do, I really will be "retired". With the extra time, will I really do the things I think I will do? Read more (so I want to keep a lot of my books), sew catnip toys for the cat people I know (so must save the fabric) and do cross stitch (which I haven't done for years, but I still have the supplies and don't want to get rid of them). Or will I find that I don't want to do those things--or that my sister will require so much of my time that my time will be taken up helping her. I have already let go of a lot of things that I once thought I would want to do, and these seem to be the last things...so maybe I have to take these things with me and give it a fair try. It would be easier if I didn't have to move the stuff, but there's no other way to find out if I'll use it once I have more time.
I think I have to stop with trying to find little areas of things to get rid of (even though it's fun) until I can go out and measure. For now, there's plenty to do that doesn't involve making more messes.
Diane
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Post by dtesposito on Oct 31, 2019 23:13:12 GMT -5
Dove, I'm actually happy living alone, but I do love my sister and we have enough things in common to talk about that I do believe I'll enjoy her company. I will have my private space, which is essential--but yes, I'm sure we'll do some things together. The main benefit will be not having to worry about her, and about her getting the help she needs. Sometimes she calls and is very upset about something, or needs some help, and it's hard to be far away and unable to get out there to help her--then I worry about her. This way at least I will see how she is every day, and be there to help her--I may have to do more for her and she will still have problems, but I will have peace of mind that I'm doing everything I can to help.
And it really will be nice to live in a house again--I grew up in a house and didn't move to my first apartment until I was in my mid-20s, so I do miss that.
Diane
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Post by lucie on Nov 1, 2019 3:26:37 GMT -5
Maybe, once you have measured the space and know how much space you have available, you could change tactics and pick things you really want to move instead of picking things to get rid off. I am cheering you on even though I do not post much to let you know.
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Post by phoenixcat on Nov 1, 2019 9:32:42 GMT -5
Diane Doesn't your sister have a dog that is relatively young? I think you will still have some unpaid dog walks in your future! One question I asked myself constantly when I packed (and asked my mom constantly when we downsized her) - "why wasn't it used or displayed in your current home?" Sometimes, as you noted, it is because it was waiting for the lifestyle change. Example: I entertained a lot in the past and planned to entertain a lot more in the future BUT for many years, we couldn't due to the condition of our house. So, I had A LOT of stuff for "entertaining". But I had a lot of stuff that was waiting for room to be displayed like my stuffed animal collection. However, when I saw the size of the place against the size of my collection - I knew I had to pare it down by half or more in order for it to actually be enjoyed. In mom's case she had A LOT of cast iron - good Midwest cook However, she no longer had the strength to lift it and was only going to occasionally cook big meals anyway. So all given away. Is it possible to find a day soon to visit your sister as you normally would (on the bus) just so that you can start to get your measurements and layout going without "working in the dark"? And, then take advantage of the ride there later when it was planned anyway but at least you would get to the starting point. I know with DM it was extremely helpful to see the place and get the measurements in order to plan out the furniture. And, then knowing how much you can fill. We only took two bookcases of DM's so the only books we brought fit on those two cases. Full disclosure - I did swap one out for a taller one. Footprint was the same but six shelf instead of two. Good luck - it is helpful to be able to plan in advance. I came back to SooS when we were planning our move which was about 7-8 months before we actually moved. PC
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Post by dtesposito on Nov 5, 2019 21:21:21 GMT -5
Lucie, I'm always choosing by what I want to keep, that's why I'm glad I've been doing this for a while, it's SO much easier than looking at something and thinking "do I want to get rid of this" because that answer is always "no!". I just can't envision it accurately because I can't remember how large the rooms are.
Phoenixcat, my sister's dog is 11 or 12, I think--but she's healthy and energetic, so yes, I'm sure she'll still be there in a year and I'll be walking her. I haven't been to my sister's in a while, and the reason is, a weak bladder! It sounds ridiculous, but the way the public transportation is, if I go early in the morning there is literally nowhere to stop to go to the bathroom--and I can no longer guarantee that I can do any trip of 2.5 hours without needing a bathroom. Most of the time I can go that long without the bathroom, but when I can't, I can't--and I never know when that will be. I do plan on figuring out if I go later in the morning, is there a store with a bathroom open where I could transfer buses--but then by the time I get out there, I would have to spend 2 hours at the most and then turn around and come home, otherwise I would be coming home in rush hour and that would add another hour to the trip. So, it's complicated...
My moving efforts were slowed down because of losing my second cat, but I'm finding that throwing myself into sorting/purging things is helping, so I carry on.
Diane
Edited to clarify keep/get rid of thinking!
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Post by dtesposito on Nov 6, 2019 0:00:05 GMT -5
Since I did not do a Monday report I forgot to list what I got rid of last week--it was a good week for purging:
Items out:
155 books! From my big series purge. 13 old calendars 1 storage box 1 storage jar 1 storage basket 3 kitchen towels 18 miscellaneous kitchen items 1 chunk of fabric 1 roll of ribbon 1 pair of mittens 5 old cans of prescription cat food 1 letter opener 4 CDs 12 cables/cable connectors 1 answering machine 3 notebooks 6 plastic bookmarks several pages of stickers
I know I can't do this every week but it was very satisfying to be able to get rid of so much.
Diane
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Post by SetMeFree on Nov 8, 2019 10:47:17 GMT -5
Hi Diane!
This thread is inspiring, as I am facing a very similar situation: I can’t afford to stay in this apartment.
I don’t have a final date because I don’t even have a court date yet, to determine spousal support.
BUT, I know I can’t stay here and I don’t want to. Too many memories. This isn’t my “home” anymore.
I’m cheering you on and I’ll be reading along to see if I can use any of your methods as I go through decades of stuff.
Way to go!!
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Post by dtesposito on Nov 8, 2019 11:19:04 GMT -5
Hello SetMeFree, I agree with you, staying in the apartment would be depressing because of the reminders of living with your husband. It's great that you'll have some time, because even though I've made so much progress in the last years, there is still so much stuff here. I'm sure you have the same, and you'll need time to work on getting rid of things--I find that I can only spend an hour at a time at it, then I have to work on something else. It's stressful even now that I'm no longer as attached to stuff, so I can't spend all day on it.
An interesting thing I did yesterday was make a list of categories of stuff I would have to sort and purge before the move. Meaning, everything I own. I was quite surprised to find that there were not that many categories--16. Of course, they could be broken down further, especially the "books" category, but I sat there trying to think of other groups of items and couldn't think of any. Somehow that made is seem more manageable, even though the amount of stuff I have remains the same!
I purposely didn't make a category labeled furniture, because that will be easy for me--the only furniture I have that I'm attached to are my two old wooden desks and their chairs. Everything else is functional (even the bookcases) and could be replaced by another similar item and I wouldn't care. Whereas with the other stuff, I feel more like I LIKE the stuff. So when it comes to furniture I will see how much I have room for and will have no problem getting rid of the rest.
SetMeFree, I hope you can figure out a good strategy for working on purging stuff, it can distract your mind from other things, and it can be freeing. The more you can get done now before you have an actual date to move, the better it will be later on. I think most people underestimate how much time it takes to purge and pack, and since I have such a LONG time til my move, I will have no excuse at all if I'm not ready.
Diane
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Post by 1rarebeautifuldove on Nov 8, 2019 22:47:43 GMT -5
Wow! on getting so much stuff out! That is great! Sometimes when I am purging things, I only find one thing, then I go back at a later time and all of a sudden I can find many things. Or from that one item, more things seem to stand out to me. What matters is that you are taking action.
It does get frustrating at times when we start trying to sort an area, even a small area, and realize that there is much to be done to take care of that little bit -- like washing things before they leave (I am like that too, I like things to be nice for the recipient whoever they are). Good call though on saying "not now" so that you didn't create a mess to live in while you are preparing to leave.
Sounds like you're making good progress. Purging always takes more time than we think it will, especially when you like to collect/gather things so there are lots of things.
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Post by Unswamping on Nov 9, 2019 9:41:52 GMT -5
Diane, great job on getting rid of so much stuff! Since you cant measure your space right now, would it help to imagine that you only have three rooms in your current space? Your actual space at your sisters may be bigger or smaller but it would give you a starting point. What purpose will the three rooms serve once you move? bedroom, plant room, library/reading room, kitchen? You can tweak things later once you have measurements. Can you assign activities to the three rooms? Maybe work on the assumption you will have alot of free time for right now?
I can totally understand about the little messes. I have lots of those too.
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Post by dtesposito on Nov 11, 2019 13:34:46 GMT -5
Good call though on saying "not now" so that you didn't create a mess to live in while you are preparing to leave.
Thank you dove, I'm finding that I have to fight this all the time--I keep seeing little areas that I'd like to sort but I know I'll just drag something out and leave it half done because I'm still not ready to make decisions about that stuff yet. I'm trying to concentrate on the books because I KNOW I can get rid of so many of those. But I am seeing little things that I can immediately grab and say I can get rid of it--as long as it doesn't involve making a mess.
What purpose will the three rooms serve once you move?
Swampy, I have already figured out the purposes of the rooms--the room at the front of the second floor will be my bedroom, the room at the back of the house will be my "living room", because that's where the door and the porch/stairs are. It's at the back of the house, but it's the outside entrance to my area, so it will be like a living room in anyone else's house--it's also the largest of the three, I think. The middle room has one south facing window, so that will be the plant room--not that the window matters much since I have the grow lights, but there will be at least one window that should get good light so it makes sense to have the plants in there. It will not all be taken up with plants, there will be storage room too, so maybe some book shelves or dressers.
Diane
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Post by dtesposito on Nov 11, 2019 13:43:16 GMT -5
Here's the list of purged items from last week:
24 books 35 misc. cat medical supplies from my shelter days 6 magazines 2 pair mittens 1 hat 1 wallet 2 cloth bags 1 salad spinner 1 frame 1 coin purse 1 drawer sachet
I did some research too, on possible phone and Comcast solutions.
Diane
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Post by Unswamping on Nov 12, 2019 10:05:35 GMT -5
dtesposito great job on letting go of all that stuff and resisting the urge to make mini messes. You have a good plan for future home. Right now you have your living room, plant room and bedroom, plus three other rooms. Whats in those three other rooms?
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