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Post by Arid on Dec 31, 2008 0:02:14 GMT -5
It sounds like you are getting it all figured out, MessyInMetropolis. Congratulations!!!
Welcome to the board.
Arid
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Dec 31, 2008 0:03:10 GMT -5
Welcome from out of the shadows! Thanks for the reminder that there are many people who may not participate by posting, but are still reading and desqualoring along with the rest of us. It sounds like you are off to a great start! You know what, I think Fly Lady ought to have a link to us on her site, because I am sure that there are many, many people like us who visit her, and then give up. I loved all of the emoticons in your post! It made it very visual, and entertaining.
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Post by dayeanu on Dec 31, 2008 0:29:53 GMT -5
Sounds like you're doing great. Just keep coming here, reading and posting, no matter what. It is a wonderful place full of wonderful people who really understand. (I'm rather new here, too.)
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Post by notsomessyshell on Dec 31, 2008 1:56:50 GMT -5
Welcome and may I just say WOW! You have accomplished so much already I am impressed and inspired. I am really just now getting the maintenance thing too. You deserve a !
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Post by crazycatlady on Dec 31, 2008 20:12:58 GMT -5
Wow! I am so impressed with your accomplishments, MessyInMetropolis! I LOVE how you reasoned out how to clean the sink area before starting the dishes....amazing!
When I started cleaning nasty areas, I had a 10 scrubs rule. If 10 scrubs didn't get it clean, I considered it good enough, and figured the next time that I cleaned that area, it would get better. Helped me avoid trying to make "surgically clean" areas.
I'm glad that you delurked. Nice to meet you!
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anerette
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 4
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Post by anerette on Dec 31, 2008 20:40:54 GMT -5
YES! Good for you. Part of this process is realizing that our possessions own US, instead of us owning them. I know about the dishes. I didn't make jam tarts this year because I never washed the tins from last . . .Thanksgiving ('07)! The time I had to make them, would have all been used up by washing the tins and cleaning up the counters, so I would have room to roll out the dough. So, they didn't get made. Fortunately for me, Brother-in-law is trying to get his blood sugar down, so they weren't missed! I too, have one clean (well, right now it's dirty) steak knife that I use over and over. What I need to do is wash the dishes and then just kept using the same stuff over and over, washing them as I go, like what was suggested to me. And I have the plastic spoons and forks. And plates. Yep, same story, kitchenwise. But we both have the desire to change, AND we CAN change. All we have to do is work on it in small steps. It's not like AA, where we would have to change everything all at once, we can do it bit by bit, lucky us! Now, I'm going to take my garbage bags out, and then go to second job!
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Post by skatters on Dec 31, 2008 23:20:41 GMT -5
Wow Messy - you have gotten SOO much done! Be proud of yourself!
Welcome to the board! Pull up a chair, and jump in anywhere!
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Post by messymimi on Dec 31, 2008 23:59:06 GMT -5
Welcome, MessyinMetropolis !
You are doing an awesome job.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by messyinmetropolis on Jan 1, 2009 2:17:19 GMT -5
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Post by creativechaos on Jan 1, 2009 12:46:33 GMT -5
It wasn't until I read part of one of Sandra Felton's books that talked about how people who came from abusive, neglectful homes have different tolerance levels of what is acceptable than healthy, functional people, that things really hit home for me. That squalors are missing "normal" ideas of what Self Care is about. A thinking problem I recently realized I had was that even though I live in a "one room" studio apartment, it's not really one room - ESPECIALLY in terms of cleaning & clutter. I have a little kitchenette, the bathroom, a closet, even the hallway is stuffed with stuff. When I used the "zones" method and broke down my place into smaller zones, with the amount of clutter & dirt, a zone called the kitchen was still too large and overwhelming. It still made taking any action overwhelming. I would just walk in and walk out again, having done nothing. Only in the past week have I realized I need to pare down from zones to just TASKS. I never knew about maintaining until I came here. I thought there was cleaning, dirty and eventually deep cleaning. Just from reading here, I'm learning that "normal" cleaning techniques, like "shine your sink," really might not work for some squalors and I have to devise different ways to get myself to declutter & clean. Instead of feeling like the failure I had kept feeling like every time I walked out of the kitchen after doing nothing AGAIN, I'm finally doing some actual movement. Thanks everyone!!! [quote author=messyinmetropolis board=intro thread=3378 post=33802 time=1230695704 It wasn't until I read part of one of Sandra Felton's books that talked about how people who came from abusive, neglectful homes have different tolerance levels of what is acceptable than healthy, functional people, that things really hit home for me. That squalors are missing "normal" ideas of what Self Care is about. is right by the front door.) I never knew about maintaining until I came here. I thought there was cleaning, dirty and eventually deep cleaning. Just from reading here, I'm learning that "normal" cleaning techniques, like "shine your sink," really might not work for some squalors and I have to devise different ways to get myself to declutter & clean. Instead of feeling like the failure I had kept feeling like every time I walked out of the kitchen after doing nothing AGAIN, I'm finally doing some actual movement. [/quote] hi, MiM; welcome! what in inspiring post! i think it's awesome that you kept reading and figuring out what would work for YOU. the quote above could have come from me. i am a hoarder too, and 3 years in a group trying to follow flylady just didn't work for me either. it wasn't until i got here again just recently that i started connecting the dots the same way you are; just clean something "good enough" and then maintain THAT. then clear and clean something else, maintain that . Yes, Mim; it's all about tasks! isn't it wonderful to discover what really works for you? i know how hard it is to move into one room with all your stuff from a much larger place. been there, done that, no storage, so you have my empathy. but you are doing it!! so glad you are doing such good self care and will soon have some workable shelving to help with that. do you remember which sandra felton that information was in? your posting that was so helpful! thank you! looking forward to reading of your process and progress, and congratulations on your accomplishments so far!
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katisha
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 17
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Post by katisha on Jan 2, 2009 5:55:13 GMT -5
Hi
Thanks for your post. I too set Christmas as a goal and failed it miserably. It looks like a lot of people joined recently and I am guessing holiday times are a trigger point for people ? I know that a phonecall from my sister indicating she nearly dropped in on me unannounced set me into a huge panic.
I had to let a plumber in recently and it mortified me. I joke about my mess, but it's a front. People don't know how truly bad it is and I don't want them to. This is going to be the only place I can be real about my situation for a considerable length of time I suspect.
Well done with the garden ! I am frightened to death that someone will report me to the council for the state of mine.
Big cheers for you !
Katisha
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Post by wind on Jan 2, 2009 15:00:43 GMT -5
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Post by Ican on Jan 7, 2009 2:21:06 GMT -5
Great post! Glad you're here!
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Post by messyinmetropolis on Jan 7, 2009 20:20:51 GMT -5
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Post by messyinmetropolis on Jan 7, 2009 21:48:13 GMT -5
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