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Post by Unswamping on Jan 9, 2023 19:53:04 GMT -5
ClimbingPyramids some cats will poop on floor if litter boxes aren’t clean. Your KitCat sounds like my crazykitty, who will watch me change the litter pans and then immediately poop on the floor next to the litter box. (She is ten and she has been doing it for ten years. I give up and just clean it up). Do you have a litter cleaning station set up? I put up command hooks to hold litter scooper, plastic tongs (for picking up poop), small dustpan and broom. I have a bag holder with empty bags hanging there. Two small waste baskets (one gets liner and dirty litter/poop goes in it, the other get the clean litter. I use feline pine, your process may be different). Scissors chained to shelf for opening new litter bag. Foam garden kneeler to make it easier on my knees (also helps if there is litter scattered on floor. Everything I need is within arms reach. I find that helps me get it done. Also timing myself (it takes less than 15 minutes for me to change three litter pans and swept floor), so I can tell myself that even if I’m tired (which I am a lot due to fibro), it won’t take long.
jamesk thanks for more info. I agree with other posters suggestions. You are NOT your squalor. People here have cleaned up situations as bad as yours, while struggling with health issues, depression, fatigue etc. I would definitely recommend starting with animal waste and any dead critters. Are your cats indoor/outdoor? Mine used to be and I had to start watching when they came in, that they were not bringing “presents” in (if they are catching them in the house, that’s another issue). Keeping the door closed and windows screened meant I had to let them in but it helped stop the inflow of “gifts”. A litter changing station like i described above will help too. Customize for what works for you, the point is to make this task easier. I’ve slipped back into bad habits but I used to have the habit of cleaning it when I finished my morning coffee. That worked really well for me, you might be different. What helped was linking it to another habit that I already had. So look at what might work for you in terms of making the litter boxes a daily habit. After you’ve dealt with animal waste and any food trash, I would try to get one small space cleared for you, like your bed or a favorite chair. Clean up that one small spot so you have an oasis where you can rest. Later you can expand the area. Notice I’m not suggesting to clean a whole room, just a small spot. I resisted that suggestion when I first joined here but it really did help my mood. (Depression sufferer also). ADHD brains are different and it can be hard to focus. But it also has an advantage, when one is interested, one can hyper focus on a task and get more accomplished than the average person. Maybe if you make a game of it. Maybe a treasure hunt? We had a thread here once called “Landfill Party” where we wrote about strange and funny finds and laughed and encouraged each other to toss things.
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Post by lucie on Jan 10, 2023 5:27:41 GMT -5
There is an youtube channel called Hoarder's heart and Miss Heart has ADHD and explains how her brain works and how she is slowly reprogramming it so she can clean and purge. You may find it helpful.
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jamesk
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Post by jamesk on Jan 10, 2023 18:08:51 GMT -5
Thanks for all the suggestions, and I’m sorry if y’all misunderstood the way I wrote the post that a lot of this made me laugh.. I was in no way meaning I was laughing at the suggestions given, I meant “laugh instead of cry”.. I got a big dent (with a big shovel) knocked out the trash in the living room and hall and dining room, it “looks” like I did something. I’ve been out of gas the last two days, out of time (ADHD🙄), I figured a few days off was a good reward, but that’s also when I usually quit. Here I sit at day 3 and have done nothing 🥲 THANKS FOR ALL THE SUGGESTIONS!
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jamesk
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JamesK
Jan 10, 2023 18:10:35 GMT -5
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Post by jamesk on Jan 10, 2023 18:10:35 GMT -5
Also, I’ve been on a board like this before (for other things), and after you do an intro you move to another thread.. how does it work here??
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jamesk
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JamesK
Jan 10, 2023 18:23:27 GMT -5
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Post by jamesk on Jan 10, 2023 18:23:27 GMT -5
I did have one big break through that’s really hard to commit to, and that’s to stop going to 2 recovery meetings a day, noon and 7pm.. at 5 years clean and sober I don’t need this many meetings, and though the program says we need to give back there are plenty of other members there every meeting to do that.. I do not make or break a meeting. After talking with my sponsor I realized I’m using the recovery meetings as an excuse to avoid the issues at home. It would be different if I went and came home and got to work, but I hang out for hours after both meetings so it leaves very little time for anything else.. and then all I want to do is sleep. Soooooo, I’m decided to stay home tonight, on day 3 of my “reward time off” and get some more stuff done!
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JamesK
Jan 10, 2023 18:54:35 GMT -5
Post by notanotherdecade on Jan 10, 2023 18:54:35 GMT -5
Also, I’ve been on a board like this before (for other things), and after you do an intro you move to another thread.. how does it work here?? 🙋♀️ hi you could create your own blog in the members only section, . (If I have more personal stuff I put it into a members only thread) There are weekly/monthly workalongs in the public viewable "squalor board" that are useful for keeping track of progress, and cheering each other on. If there is a topic you want to generate discussion on you can start off a new thread, or add onto an existing discussion. Recovery from squalor is a long process for most of us, and just as problematic as addiction, good luck...
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 10, 2023 20:24:18 GMT -5
James as long as you are doing well in your sobriety, that sounds like a good idea. Yes socializing after could be a way to avoid stuff at home. I understood what you meant about laughing. I don’t laugh or make fun of other people. I laugh with them and at myself, at the absurd or silly things I have done. Warrior Kimmy said humor helped her clean up her squalor and I found it helped me too.
You can start a blog in members only section or do work along threads like WITs or a challenge thread like notanotherdecade said. Great job on getting a shovel and making some progress in living room. It’s understandable that you “ran out of gas”, that happens to a lot of us in the beginning. It’s ok to rest a few days but it’s important to get back to it. The house doesn’t need to get totally cleaned up in one big swoop, once the animal stuff is dealt with, you can chip away at the regular trash a bit at a time. You can also start to try some new habits like changing litter every day, doing dishes every day. Some one here had a “plus one” habit-todays dishes plus one dish of the backlog of dishes. That could be applied to anything. Laundry- todays laundry plus one load of backlog, todays trash out plus one bag. This way you keep things from getting worse while slowly dealing with the backlog. Dana White who has written books and has a blog called “A Slob Comes Clean”, says to focus on making things better not perfect. So if you can do a bit today and your house is better than it was when you got up this morning, that’s fantastic! Celebrate every little bit of better. Post about it here. It really does help.
The squalor didn’t happen overnight, it won’t get cleaned up over night. Everyone here starts cleaning and then backslides. It’s ok and to be expected. The important thing is to pick yourself up and get back on the horse. Every time you do, you will learn more about yourself, what works for you and what doesn’t.
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jamesk
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Posts: 66
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Post by jamesk on Jan 10, 2023 20:26:58 GMT -5
Ok thanks y’all, I made me a thread in the blog section, I’ll move my comments over there 🙏
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JamesK
Jan 10, 2023 20:34:38 GMT -5
Post by Unswamping on Jan 10, 2023 20:34:38 GMT -5
I just saw your new blog. I hope my comments are helpful. Feel free to ignore anything that isn’t.
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 10, 2023 23:46:43 GMT -5
ClimbingPyramids some cats will poop on floor if litter boxes aren’t clean. Your KitCat sounds like my crazykitty, who will watch me change the litter pans and then immediately poop on the floor next to the litter box. (She is ten and she has been doing it for ten years. I give up and just clean it up). Do you have a litter cleaning station set up? I put up command hooks to hold litter scooper, plastic tongs (for picking up poop), small dustpan and broom. I have a bag holder with empty bags hanging there. Two small waste baskets (one gets liner and dirty litter/poop goes in it, the other get the clean litter. I use feline pine, your process may be different). Scissors chained to shelf for opening new litter bag. Foam garden kneeler to make it easier on my knees (also helps if there is litter scattered on floor. Everything I need is within arms reach. I find that helps me get it done. Also timing myself (it takes less than 15 minutes for me to change three litter pans and swept floor), so I can tell myself that even if I’m tired (which I am a lot due to fibro), it won’t take long.
Thank you, Unswamping, for the detailed guidance! I do have stations (plural -- one upstairs, two on the ground floor, and a makeshift one in the basement). The one in the mudroom has a cute galvanized canister that holds the empty bags, the scoop is in a plastic container. I love the idea of the garden kneeler!!! And the scissors on a hook -- I am constantly trying to find scissors (as an aside, my favorite title for a compilation album is "Where the Hell are the Good Scissors?"). I know precisely when my litter box maintenance took a massive downhill nosedive... I moved the rest of this post to my blog. I trust you'll understand why I moved it to a members' only space: takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/33946/open-door-guidance-support-when?page=1&scrollTo=850657
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jamesk
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Post by jamesk on Jan 11, 2023 3:02:57 GMT -5
There is an youtube channel called Hoarder's heart and Miss Heart has ADHD and explains how her brain works and how she is slowly reprogramming it so she can clean and purge. You may find it helpful. I watched this, both episodes of her interview, made me cry when she said every squalor is a hoarder who’s given up.. I dunno where I fit and I’ve always had the gift of being just different enough to make things hard. I don’t collect things like my idea of a hoarder does and I have no problem throwing things out (when I do get sick enough of the filth to throw things out). My issue is just straight up squalor (unless I just wanna collect filth in general )🤔
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JamesK
Jan 14, 2023 9:30:26 GMT -5
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wynken likes this
Post by reve on Jan 14, 2023 9:30:26 GMT -5
Hi James and welcome! I'm glad you're seeking out help and I do want to say that getting out of squalor is possible and you're on the right path if you've found yourself here and posting. I've always liked that this is a no shame place and people understand and support you whether it's describing a situation that you feel others would shame you for and finding support and understanding, or celebrating what might seem like a small achievement and having others cheer with you because they know how big a deal that can be. I highly endorse the idea that's already been suggested of amnesty. It helped me a ton, especially when my brain was telling me "there could still be a use for that" or "if you were less *** you should clean that" or " you shoukd dispose of it properly". Nope, your health and happiness and your mom's are more important, you have blanket permission to just throw all of that. One thing that's been very helpful for me is the weekday/weekend workalong threads. I set myself a target last summer to post at least 3 achievements a day and I've rigidly stuck to that. Sometimes they are small tasks on days when I am tired or swamped and all I manage is a little bit of maintaining where I'm at, sometimes they're big tasks or I manage to post 20 things. But either way, the hardest part for me is getting started and that really helps me, and I've seen steady progress since. Still a long way to go, but progress, not perfection, is the goal
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jamesk
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JamesK
Jan 22, 2023 21:24:07 GMT -5
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Post by jamesk on Jan 22, 2023 21:24:07 GMT -5
Thanks
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