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Post by lorrainemondo on Feb 7, 2009 9:44:18 GMT -5
Dear Lorna,
You have a powerful story to tell. You write very well.
I think you will find a lot of help and support on this site. Have you looked at the predecessor to this site, Squalor Survivors? It's no longer active but excellent information is there. If you haven't' seen it yet, Google it and read Kimmy's story about surfacing out of squalor--Kimmy, along with PigPen, is the founder of this community. I believe it was trauma that caused Kimmy to sink into squalor as well.
One thing that helps me a great deal is to visit the chat room. There are 15 minute cleaning challenges where everyone who is participating gets up and does anything at all, cleaning wise, for 15 minutes. I have a timer for this purpose. After 15 minutes everyone returns to the chat room and tells what they did as well as chat about many topics. After 15 minutes of chatting there is another 15 of cleaning. One of the members said that without chat challenges she would never have started on her dishes--period. Give it a try and see if it works for you, too.
I just got back into bed a week ago after spending 3 weeks on the couch. Before that I slept on a narrow edge of the bed (stuff was piled on the rest of the bed) with no sheets for months. It's so easy to have a backslide.
Welcome to the community! In honour of your joining I will now go and clean the floor of my bathroom!!
Lorraine
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Post by messyLlundain on Feb 7, 2009 9:45:07 GMT -5
Hello Lorna  Welcome! I think you've made a very positive step by joining the group and sharing your story. You are amongst people here who understand what dealing with squalor is all about. The things which you have described - wanting to relax on the sofa, wanting to walk barefoot around your home, wanting to use the kitchen to cook - I can guarantee that there are many here who understand what you mean. So fear not, you are amongst friends  Remember; baby steps, little by little, one bag (of rubbish) at a time. Some find it helps to start with one area, or one particular chore. For me, I decided that I would always wash the dishes before I went to bed. I used to let them pile up until there was no clean crockery or cutlery. Its a little victory for me when I go into the kitchen in the morning and see a clear sink. But it could be a table, or a corner of a room, anything you want. You will get encouragement every step of the way here, I mean that. People are so friendly, supportive and understanding. And I've never seen so many wise women in one place before, this place is full of them! I wont embarrass them by naming them  - one day I will tell them individually. Try and log in every day, it helps. |
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Post by lorrainemondo on Feb 7, 2009 11:11:10 GMT -5
Lorna, as AnnieBlue says, we are having a bathroom PARTAY! Let's invite others to join the bathroom cause and build up the "body of work" that we are creating as a community!
I cleaned the floor and toilet in my bathroom and it looks and smells great! Thanks for joining and inspiring me to do some cleaning as a way to welcome you!!
You can post about cleaning stuff on the general board, but this thread may go on for a while as others post to welcome you to the community.
Now I'm going to see about washing the dishes!
Lorraine
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Post by lorrainemondo on Feb 7, 2009 14:03:23 GMT -5
WOOOOOOO!
Go, Miss M, Go!
I did all my dishes and cleaned the counters in the kitchen.
Miss Mondo
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Post by crazycatlady on Feb 7, 2009 14:58:37 GMT -5
Welcome, MissMunky, and what a great start you have made! What a touching intro...  I'm glad that you found this community. We are ready to support you as you find your wings!
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Post by Ican on Feb 7, 2009 17:55:31 GMT -5
well the entire bathroom is done, Hello & Welcome! You cleaned the entire bathroom! That's great! WooHoo! Good for you, MissMunky! Glad you are here, Lorna! |
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Post by messyLlundain on Feb 7, 2009 19:24:36 GMT -5
I've just looked at your bathroom photos. Cor, you've been busy haven't you! I'm really glad that you are finding that being here is helping. And you posting your photos and your updates (and your enthusiasm) is helping others, trust me. |
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Post by lorrainemondo on Feb 7, 2009 20:56:13 GMT -5
Miss M,
I'm rushing off to a dinner party in another house of squalor. I will look at your pictures as soon as I can. Meanwhile, MAZEL TOV on your fabulous achievement!!!!!
You will go far.
LM
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Post by messymimi on Feb 7, 2009 21:43:30 GMT -5
Welcome, Lorna !
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by Meme on Feb 7, 2009 23:19:48 GMT -5
hi, lorna- welcome and hang out with us and we will encourage and we will help add some joy into the cleaning - hugs from Meme
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Feb 8, 2009 2:27:26 GMT -5
Glad to see you here! I wonder if the squalor is a way for you to create boundaries? A lot of what you talked about is not being able to have people over, etc. And after one's boundaries are shattered, we sometimes do a lot of "unusual" things to put them back up. Not sure if this is true in your case, but thought I would mention it, just in case...
So glad you are off to a good start. Something about your story made me want to jump up and clean too!
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Post by Sapphire on Feb 8, 2009 10:14:25 GMT -5
Welcome!! I read your story with interest, as it has several similarities to mine. I'm sorry to hear what you've been through, but the positivity you are showing by joining us here and looking forward shows how strong you are!! Good luck with your battle for barefoot walking and meal cooking!!! My kitchen is my worst room too. A couple of feet deep with rubbish!! My boiler is broken so the repairman is coming tomorrow! So I've had to spend today clearing out rubbish!! Just to be able to get in there!! Let alone to lessen the shame and embarrassment!! As it is I'm going to tell him it's my sister's house, and that she's been suffering depression and I'm only here to help her sort the house out!! It's the only way I can deal with him being here without completely dying of embarrassment!! Anyway, welcome!! It's a great place! |
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Post by valor on Feb 8, 2009 17:34:47 GMT -5
My heart goes out to you. Assault such as you went through is a horrible
boundary violation.
I salute you for taking control of your home. I know from personal experience that it is
hard work. It seems unfair that we have to clean up the mess, both psychic and in our
physical environment-that came after we were violated. Those who did the violating should
have to do the work to return our lives to the way they were before the assaults. Unfortunately that rarely happens, so we have to do it, have to restore our lives.
Missmunky you are a great inspiration to me!
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Post by valor on Feb 8, 2009 17:41:05 GMT -5
p.s.
Saw the photos of your reclaimed bath, great work!
Go Missmunky !
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Post by valor on Feb 8, 2009 18:39:15 GMT -5
Missmunky, We will not let the miserable bullies who abused us win! I join with you in saying NO MORE! We will not let them win, we will not let squalor win! I am in tears writing this, but they are not tears of sadness for what has gone before for me. They are tears of recognition of my strength and your strength and the strength of all of us on SOS and the many unseen readers who BATTLE, as you so aptly described it, that which tries to rob us of our happiness and our autonomy. With each step, we regain what is rightfully ours  |
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