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Post by dobbin on Feb 17, 2009 10:00:06 GMT -5
I don't know how to begin. I can barely walk through my apartment. Things were not always this way. There are piles of clothes, books, bagged up trash, loose possessions of all kinds, valuables mixed in with junk. I've gone to group therapy for OCD, but it doesn't seem to have worked. There is nothing I dream about more than a clean room to live in. Six years ago I lived in a clean apartment. 8 years ago I moved in. I have bagged up and thrown away, put a moratorium on buying. Cancelled subscriptions to magazines. No pets. I can't sleep on my bed. Is this how I'm supposed to introduce myself? I eat at Subway because I can't get into my kitchen. So, that's how I'm introducing myself.
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Post by charis on Feb 17, 2009 10:44:32 GMT -5
Hi Dobbin and welcome You can do this! Just a little bit at a time you can build the nice haven you deserve. When you have a chunk of time, you might look at some of the listzilla threads and see which one or more would be most helpful to you to join in on
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Post by eatingbonbons on Feb 17, 2009 12:16:26 GMT -5
Welcome, dobbin! You've already off to a good start.
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Post by lulu1949 on Feb 17, 2009 12:37:24 GMT -5
welcome dobbin !
i can't sleep on my bed either. we are all in different stages of dealing with our squalor/clutter.
hang in there. last night i started washing my dishes that had been sitting on the counter for 3 weeks. what a good feeling ! i still have a dishpan and sink full to finish tonight, but it's not as intimidating as before.
read the posts. look at the before and after pictures.
you can do it !
hugs to you !
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mariposatx
New Member
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 16
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Post by mariposatx on Feb 17, 2009 14:37:55 GMT -5
Welcome, I'm new here too. I can see the frustration in your post, but at least here you can find people who understand and who are in the same boat. I don't have as much piled up as you do, but I've cleaned the same drawers and closets out 10 times and still can't put anything new into any of them, I've given away lots of stuff on Freecycle, dropped stuff off at recycling, tossed things out and still can't get a car in my garage, so I know frustration and the feeling like nothing is working. But if I think about it, it has to be better than if I hadn't done those things. Take baby steps, go through the motions even when you don't see the point, and most of all don't let the situation define you. You are a person of value and worthy of love and respect - regardless of the stuff around you. with prayers, Mariposa
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packy
New Member
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Feb 17, 2009 15:48:49 GMT -5
Hi Dobbin,
Hang in there, take baby steps. That's what we all do here. Like others have said, read through the posts. You can get some inspiration from reading what others like yourself are going through.
Listzilla, has a working in threes thread everyday I think. This has helped me to get started. Check it out and give it a try.
Good luck and welcome.
Packy
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Post by notsomessyshell on Feb 17, 2009 18:40:18 GMT -5
Welcome Dobbin! You can do this! Listzilla is a great starting place. Working in threes is wonderful. You will get cheered on and it really helps to motivate me. Chat has challenges going on that is another help to me. I look forward to hearing more from you!
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Post by crazycatlady on Feb 17, 2009 19:26:16 GMT -5
Welcome, Dobbin. I think that your intro very nicely expressed your frustration. When I started my journey out of squalor, I asked my older teenage son what he thought we needed to change. He said something like "Look around, Mom, there is stuff everywhere." And the tone of his voice, it was almost tearful. The stuff really does get to you after a while. And it is hard when trash and treasure are mixed.
Many here have found a way out. We will help shine a light to show you the way, too.
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Post by messymimi on Feb 17, 2009 20:09:56 GMT -5
Welcome, Dobbin !
When I quit bothering to try to figure out why I am this way, and just started bagging trash and giving away boxes, things got better. I may never get to the bottom of why, but if I can find ways to work around it, does that really matter so much?
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by skatters on Feb 17, 2009 22:01:27 GMT -5
Welcome Dobbin! I can hear the agony in your post. You CAN make your house the home it should be.
It will take time and effort. Likely, lots of time and effort. But better to get started on it now, then have some emergency force you to start later.
Join us over in the listzilla area. If you see a thread that meets your needs - jump right in. Otherwise, you can start your own thread!
The important part is to stick around and read. Even if you don't do anything just now, reading the other stories around here is very helpful.
Again, Welcome!
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Post by isolated on Feb 18, 2009 16:30:21 GMT -5
You mention that you don't know where to begin. I still feel that way but I am nowhere near done.
You could try one of these two options.
The first one is clearing a spot on the floor to sit down to and surrounding yourself with boxes, trash bags,clothes hampers etc..Then you can work on one small square at a time. Toss all kitchen things together, living room stuff,bedroom,clothes,trash and so forth.
The second one is a not such an effective way but works.
You clean out all the corners of your room first, then you start tossing all clothes into one corner, all keep items into another, stack dishes in another and the fourth is for the trash bags you fill.
I prefer the first method because everything is all sorted and easier to just stack somewhere until you are ready to hit that specific room/chore.
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Post by Meme on Feb 18, 2009 21:17:15 GMT -5
welcome- sometimes it is so hard to know what to do in starting- if everything is scattered and muddled - I think getting the garbage out is a good beginning step- or even just some of it so that you let that word off your list-- I would and have done "" get as many garbage containers as you can for now- and strong bags-( it is so discouraging if you do sort garbage and then a bag breaks as you are struggling to take it out) and just take a few moments here and there and start putting the garbage in the containers and take it out- then at least you will feel cleaner- sigh- because some how clutter does make us feel dirty or makes us feel like the L word - if you can lift your spirits even by a small bit- it is so much easier to start and continue- continuing is hard thing do----but if you don't you will always be at the point of not knowing where to start which really is a STOP sign- bless your heart for coming here and I know that we can cheer you on from start to finish take one garbage out for you- tonight-- ( do not focus on the size of the bag) and one for Meme -- then you will have a little less to deal with tomorrow-
hugs from Meme
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Post by valor on Feb 19, 2009 9:13:32 GMT -5
Welcome Dobbin, This is a wonderful supportive site with a lot of practical information too. I like the old saying "inch by inch it's a cinch" Sometimes looking at everything that needs to be done can be overwhelming and discouraging. Doing small areas at a time can be much less daunting. Your efforts will all combine to make a difference, if you are persistent. It's not always painless but it can be done, and the difficulty will lessen. Hang in there
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Post by Ican on Feb 22, 2009 2:38:45 GMT -5
Hello & Welcome! Glad you're here!
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Post by dayeanu on Feb 22, 2009 23:46:31 GMT -5
Hi! Welcome! I was in therapy for 15 years. I'm sure it must have helped, but not with my home's condition. We all know that same frustration you feel. For me it was a hopelessness bordering on sheer terror.
Since I have been here, I have found that I can clean anything 4 sq. ft. at a time!
Sometimes I do "theme" cleaning: I may go through the house and throw away all the paper and styrofoam cups from the fast food restaurants that congregate here. Or I may pick up all the dirty clothes that are white and wash them. Or I may grab a trash bag and go through the house picking up anything that is obvious garbage.
Lettinggo cleaned his whole house by filling and throwing out one trash bag a day. That's all. Just one trash bag. He did an amazing job of it, too.
I learned here that one of my problems was I just didn't know how to clean. Oh, I thought I did. But then someone here who cleans for a living told us how to clean a dirty floor, and when I tried her method, I was amazed how much easier and cleaner it was Now when I have a problem area, I can post and ask everyone here what's their easiest and quickest way to do a job.
I have learned to discount some of the messages I heard for years about not being wasteful, saving useful things, etc. I am learning to look at the bigger picture of how 'things' are impacting my life.
This is a good place to be. I'm glad you're here. There really is hope.
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