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One thing that enormously helped me, was to clear a spot -- any spot.
There are many methods of desqualoring. Here is one way:
PART ONE:
The Emptiness SpotSome people take a photo (but don't show anyone) -- a photo of one tiny sector of a room.
Then they clear out ONLY the items within the photo frame.
Example of photographing one spot at a time:
Rosebud's thread here:
takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/1217OR -- they just LOOK through the camera lens at one tiny sector of a room --
without actually taking a photograph. Then they clean whatever small spot is in view of the camera frame.
NOTE: This is a TINY sector of a room.
Not more than a half meter square -- or maybe one square foot.Don't have a camera?
Use an empty paper towel tube. Or an empty toilet paper tube. I know you've got one of those!
. Look through the tube and find one section of a room. Then clean within that viewpoint.
Other methods:
You could take a hula hoop. Or a piece of string. And place it around a section. Then clean within that section.
Other people have taken string or yarn or colored tape. And then pretended to cordon off a little sector of a room as if it were a "CRIME SCENE".
. Then they cleaned within the crime scene area.
Another version: If you have a pattern in your carpet or flooring, you can just clean within one square of that pattern. However, like many of us, you probably cannot SEE the floor/carpet!
Another way would be if you had a pattern on the ceiling. Then just clean the area below one section of the ceiling.
WHAT do all of these method have IN COMMON?
?
Focus on EMPTYING a section of a room and IGNORING the rest of the room.
Use "tunnel vision".
Thinking of the whole mess would be overwhelming.
But using tunnel vision to just focus on one spot -- that's doable.
Once you've got your clear spot, do NOT plant a flag of conquest there! Keep it EMPTY !!!!!! But make it your sacred space that must be defended! This is the spot you sit in when you're tired. (if your body cannot sit on the floor, then put a plain simple chair in your sacred spot. But nothing else.) This is where you renew your spirit.
DO NOT PLAN where to put this spot. That would drive you crazy with indecision and perfectionism. (I know this!). Make it RANDOM. The first spot you can easily clear. It's okay if your spot is randomly in an odd area of a room. Even if it's in the bathroom. Doesn't matter. This is simply a spot you've declared to be sacred. The only things that go there are emptiness and your spirit.
REMEMBER ... you can always MOVE the spot if you need to. But never sacrifice it. To move it, clear a new spot first, then move your "emptiness contemplation" to the new spot. Then you can release the old spot.
If your pets lie in your spot, smile. And then gently, lovingly move them out of the way. You will eventually clear each pet a spot of their own, one baby step at a time.
If your pets drag trash into your spot, smile. Hug them. And then clean it up. Defend your territory with joy and not anger.
Does all this seem like too much ?? Do you have trash and hoarded boxes piled to the ceiling ??
No problem. There's another way to do this.
JUST. CLEAR. ONE. SHELF.
Make that shelf your "Sacred space for emptiness and inspiration". No thing will go there. Not even important mementos or spiritual icons. Just emptiness. ONLY emptiness.
You can sit on a pile of boxes, or a pile of laundry, or a broken chair, as long as your seat is next to the "Emptiness Shelf". Sit there and gaze joyfully at the empty shelf. Do this whenever you need to.
What is the point of all this ??
To give yourself the chance to declare room for "emptiness" in your life. It's amazing.
PART TWO:
The spot for One Inspirational ItemIf you like this feeling, then you can clear another spot. The second spot might be where you put a spiritual item, or a candle, or a special book (only one), or ONE (only one) photo, or a vase of flowers. This spot can be an area of the floor, or a section of a table, or a part of a shelf. But it's dedicated to inspiration. Only one inspirational item can go there.
Defend this spot, too. Remember to defend it lovingly, and without anger. Joyfully forgive pets or family members who mess it up. But be firm that this is what you need.
Now you have two spots:
The EMPTINESS spot
and
the "single inspirational item" spot.
Strive to keep them clear.
Forgive yourself if you mess them up, and then begin again. Yes! You can forgive yourself! Know that sometimes guilt can be a form of clutter. Let it go and start again.
PART THREE:
The Staging AreaOnce you've accomplished this, then start on a THIRD spot. The third spot will be your "staging area for sorting stuff".
But remember, do NOT sort stuff in your "Emptiness Spot" or your "Inspirational Item Spot".
The "staging area for sorting stuff" must be a SEPARATE spot of its own.
Now you have three spots:
1) spot for emptiness.
2) spot for one inspirational item.
3) spot to use as staging area for sorting things.
NEXT:Now go forth and clear out the rest of your home, one spot at at a time.
This is like doing a jigsaw puzzle in reverse. This would be as if you were starting out with a jigsaw puzzle -- completed -- on the table. You're taking the puzzle apart, one piece at a time, until all the puzzle pieces are put away -- and your table is empty.
Editing to add:You can tell each household member that they are entitled to their own special spot, too. They are welcome to clear their own spot, if it's amongst their own stuff. If everything is YOUR stuff, then you can offer to clear a spot for the person. But once a spot is clear, then each person in the household can endeavor to be responsible for their own spot.
The same concept would apply, that if any household member messes up their own spot, they can learn to forgive himself/herself, and begin again.
And if household members or pets mess up spots, everyone can forgive and then joyfully begin again.
PLEASE note:All of these ideas came from lovely sisters and brothers on the former Squalor Survivors forums and the current Stepping Out of Squalor forum.
None of this is my original idea. I'm just typing up something I once learned.
I'm typing it up, because I had forgotten this wisdom, and I realize that I need to remember it.
What I like about this method is that you don't have to start with an entire room. It can just be a tiny spot.
UPDATE:
See also the new thread called "Zero-Degree Areas"
takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/4933