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Post by myproblemmess on Mar 26, 2009 7:03:14 GMT -5
Hello, I'm not really sure how to start - I don't have any experience in posting anything anywhere and this is a really hard subject to talk about.  Although I've never been the neatest person, I haven't "cleaned" the house for about two and a half years. I always had a catch all room, but now the clutter has taken over every room in the house. There are little paths everywhere so I can at least get into most rooms. I'm a perfectionist and lost sight of "a little at a time". If I couldn't do it right, why bother? I would just think about it and feel paralyzed and cry. I mentioned to my sister that my house was a pigpen and long story short, now she and my son are coming here next week to help me attack it. I live in the desert and when my air conditioning went out last summer, I couldn't have it fixed because I couldn't let a repair person into my home. I have to have someone out now because I can't expect them to be here without it. They both live in much cooler climates and won't be used to the warmer weather here. No one's been in my house during the past three years or so and I feel as though I will die of embarrassment when I have the a/c repair man out and when my family sees how I live. One of the conditions of the sister coming here was that I seek help to get to the root of the problem or to get a support system or outlet so that I can overcome it in hopes that it never gets this bad again. I'm hoping this site will be a good place to start. So, hello and help . . . my problem mess |
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Post by lilith on Mar 26, 2009 7:08:54 GMT -5
Welcome,
You are in the right place. I live in Arizona. Send me a personal message if you are close.
You have done the hardest step. Keep reading, posting and try chat.
Lilith
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Post by gettingsomewhere on Mar 26, 2009 8:14:55 GMT -5
hello and welcome mpm, (i hope you don't mind the abbreviation).
you have come to the right place and are among friends.
let us be your support system. you have begun your journey alone but we will be with you as you continue on your way. i hope to talk to you again soon.
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Post by skatters on Mar 26, 2009 9:05:40 GMT -5
Hi, and welcome MPM! Take another deep breath, and realize you are among friends.
Read, read, read. This site is a great inspiration for most. When you decide you are ready to work, post on the 'working in threes' thread or join us in chat. In chat, we tend to work for 15 minutes, then chat for 15. Alot gets done!
Just jump in, we would be glad to have you onboard.
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Post by AnnieOkie on Mar 26, 2009 9:22:27 GMT -5
Myproblemmess-I am so glad that you are here! Please read others' intros and look at our pics in the Photos! thread. You may see something simliar to what you are going through. I know you have found the place to help you.
I'm glad your family is willing to help. I hope it goes well and that you can start on the path to having a more comfortable home.
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Post by eatingbonbons on Mar 26, 2009 17:52:18 GMT -5
Welcome, Myproblemmess!
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Post by messymimi on Mar 26, 2009 18:11:51 GMT -5
Welcome, MyProblemMess  !
Your fight with perfectionism sounds just like mine so you are definitely in the right place.
Striving for perfect paralyzes you, as you have found. So instead, do a bit at a time and strive to be effective, it will bring excellence.
Done is better than perfect, and easier to maintain.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by def6 on Mar 26, 2009 21:28:25 GMT -5
please accept your family members loving help and support.without feeling ashamed.That's what family is for.We're your family too now. Hugs
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centime
New Member
Age Is Relative
Joined: March 2009
Posts: 7
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Post by centime on Mar 26, 2009 22:31:32 GMT -5
Welcome, myproblemmess! You don't have to have experience posting; just say what's on your mind. We are here to help and support you. Don't think about the big picture. Instead, think about tiny, simple things you can do. Read posts, then read more posts. Ask questions. You are safe here. I'm glad you have your sister's support, and that she is able to come and help you. It will be such a relief to begin reclaiming your home, and you will gain momentum once you start to see the improvements. centime  |
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Post by valor on Mar 27, 2009 18:24:13 GMT -5
Hi Myproblemmess No worries, I never posted anywhere before here either. I read this board and the old board Squalor Survivors for a very long time before I posted. This is a very wise, understanding, and generous group of people who really care. You can tell your sister that you have great support here. It's wonderful that she and your son are going to lend a hand. I love what Centime said who posted right above me--so true! Welcome Myproblemmess  |
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Post by Meme on Mar 27, 2009 20:29:10 GMT -5
welcome-- I do understand what you are saying about being perfect and therefore not doing- I fought with this problem in another area of my life- I would not go anywhere because I felt I could dress and or act perfect :-( no matter what I wore I felt out of place because I did not know how (in my mind) to look presentable-
hugs and yes- we are here you
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Post by notsomessyshell on Mar 27, 2009 23:09:44 GMT -5
Hello and Welcome!!! Don't worry about how or what you post here. I tend to ramble.  I understand the all or nothing attitude, too. Your family coming to help seems like a blessing! I wish I had family to ask to help me. I live in Vegas. The heat here is horrid, too. I am dreading the time when my a/c has to be repaired, too. Looking forward to seeing more of you and hearing of your successes. |
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 28, 2009 0:08:07 GMT -5
Hi, and welcome! I'm so glad you are here. You will be amazed at the support, love, friendship and help you will find here. Just keep reading and posting, and maybe try some of the things we try, and sooner or later you will be amazing yourself. (I lived without a/c here in the sunny, humid south for 3 years because of squalor. I'm glad you're taking steps to make a repair visit possible!) |
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Post by crazycatlady on Mar 28, 2009 19:43:08 GMT -5
Welcome! I hope that your sister and your son are able to help, without shaming you. Remember that you are not your home, and the mess is not you. "Wow, that is a huge pile of dishes" means "there is a problem...I will help fix it" not "you are bad to have a pile of dishes."
After digging myself most of the way out of my mess, I have helped several other people do some desqualoring. Mess is just....mess. Friends and family are golden, whether they live in mess or not. It feels good to help them dig out.
I really like your sister's idea of helping with the mess, and wanting to help you figure out how to never let it happen again. I would say that this site is not a guarantee that squalor won't happen again, but it is a fabulous support system that will give you the tools to be able to stay out of squalor. And since almost all of us have ups and downs, if and when that squalor starts to build again, you will have a team of friends to help beat it back.
I'm not saying don't seek additional supports if you feel they are needed. But this place is fabulous, and we have your back, sister.
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Post by myproblemmess on Mar 29, 2009 0:34:04 GMT -5
Thank you all for your support. It gives me great comfort to know that I'm not alone, as it was hard to believe otherwise before this week. I look forward to "living" on here and eventually supporting others as well.
mpm
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