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Post by safyremoon on Mar 31, 2009 23:28:31 GMT -5
Hi,
I'm new as of last night (possibly even member number 1000) and I have a serious problem with squalor. I'm a mom of 7 and we live in filth.Ugh that's hard to say...
I hope to get pictures up soon but don't have the gumption yet. We bought our house 2 .5 years ago and have totally messed it up. There are dirty clothes in every room of the house. That is my biggest problem besides trash.
My kids have never been taught to clean up after themselves so they just leave things wherever they are. I know it will take baby steps to reclaim my house but I'm so frustrated.
I suffer from chronic depression that sneaks up on me and I don't notice until things are way out of control. I have been back on antidepressants for 2 weeks now and I'm finally starting to feel good enough to do something about the mess.
I am going to try to post frequently to stay accountable and move up to at least level 1. Wish me luck!
Safyre
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Post by messyjedi on Mar 31, 2009 23:37:08 GMT -5
Good luck Safyre!
I am new too, and also a mom of 7. I know all too well the laundry issue. Hang in there, we can do this!!
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Post by Meme on Mar 31, 2009 23:46:36 GMT -5
glad to have you here- depression sucks so much out of us
but gaining some control can help with the depression- not a cure but an
aide to help you recover
and while you take the baby steps- inlist the kids to walk with you
why is it dirty laundry multiplies but when it is all clean we have nothing to wear??
hugs
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Post by notsomessyshell on Apr 1, 2009 1:06:04 GMT -5
Welcome!  Glad you joined us, number 1000 or not! Kudos for getting some assistance with the depression. Yay for feeling better. I agree with Meme, enlist the kids. Make it fun. I remember my sister, who had 6 cherubs, would make up all kinds of games. One was to clean while the music was playing and then stop it and all the kids had to freeze. Or timing them to see who could find all their dirty laundry and bring it to the washer the fastest. The sillier the better, too.  I look forward to seeing you! |
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Post by gettingsomewhere on Apr 1, 2009 1:43:26 GMT -5
hi there and welcome safyre. you have made the first tricky step and its all gonna get better from here on in. hang in there with your medication, i have a lot of trouble getting past 10 days so you are going really well. there are so many wonderful people around here you don't need to feel alone with this problem anymore.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 1, 2009 6:58:24 GMT -5
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Welcome safyremoon !
Yes, safyremoon, you are our one thousandth member! I noticed right after you joined that the forum menu said we had 1,000 members and that you were our newest.
(We've already had more people join since then).
Clearly, you are not alone !
I don't think there's a "door prize" for being our thousandth member.
The true prize is the relief felt upon realizing that one isn't alone, and seing that others have overcome. You find the hope that one can overcome the seemingly insurmountable.
Welcome!
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Post by valor on Apr 1, 2009 12:22:52 GMT -5
Welcome Safyremoon Glad to read that the antidepressants are starting to help you. Boy have I been there, it's no fun at all. But once the antidepressants kick in and you're feeling much better, you'll be able to start dealing with your environment, and it will be like a new start  |
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Post by pegasus48 on Apr 1, 2009 12:37:12 GMT -5
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Post by eatingbonbons on Apr 1, 2009 16:23:13 GMT -5
Welcome, Safyremoon! Yay for you for recognizing it was time to get back on antidepressants. And how great that you're already experiencing good results. I can only imagine how much laundry accumulates with seven children! Slow & steady. Load in, load out, load in, load out.
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Post by messymimi on Apr 1, 2009 19:41:52 GMT -5
Welcome, SafyreMoon !
Go ahead and post pictures if you want to, but no pressure. Some of us never do.
Have you thought about playing games with the kids to get them to help out? Hand each child a trash bag, set a timer, and see who can fill the bag first. Or put a laundry hamper in the middle of a room and have the kids score points by lobbing the clothes into it. Ask them for other ideas -- sometimes the kids come up with the best cleaning games.
Speaking of laundry, it sounds like you might have a huge backlog. The way to deal with a backlog of anything -- laundry, dishes, papers to file, mail to sort -- is to always take care of today's, plus at least one more item. Thus eventually all of the laundry gets done, dishes get cleaned, papers filed, etc.
If you start on that backlog of laundry and find stuff that no longer fits the kids, or is totally worn or so dirty as to be disgusting, you have permission to throw it away. We call that amnesty, you don't have to donate, recycle, or find the perfect place for everything you don't want or need to keep. Just toss it. You can get back to doing those things when you feel better and have the place more under control.
You have my sympathy on the depression. That's why I may be overloading you with info here, I want you to know that you need to get help from the rest of the family -- you can't physically do all the cleaning for that many people, it's not humanly possible. I also want you to know that you don't have to bite off more than you can chew, like with recycling everything and multiple trips to charity shops to donate and such. Those things may overwhelm you now, so don't bother.
As you have said, baby steps will get you there.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by safyremoon on Apr 1, 2009 21:54:26 GMT -5
I probably have several industrial sized trash bags worth of clothes that the kids no longer wear and are dirty. I have that "someone could use this" guilt. So they sit waiting to be washed. Once they are washed they very rarely make it to donate before they are dirty again. ugh... time to toss...
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Post by crazycatlady on Apr 1, 2009 22:40:44 GMT -5
Oh, do let the dirty clothes go, SafyreMoon! Just straight out to the trash with them, and you will be left with a small empty space. The beginning of your freedom.
As Mimi said, you have amnesty to just throw them away with no guilt. Why should those bags of dirty clothes be pulling your family down? OUT with them all! And someday, when you are all caught up, if you chose to begin to donate, you will be able to. Just not today.
I have thrown away all sorts of "useful" or "possibly useful" stuff. But the cleaner my home becomes, the more I am able to donate.
Seven children...times seven days is 49 times two footsies each is 98 socks per week. Tires me out just thinking about it. I sure hope that you have all matching socks, so no one has to sort all those socks. (Sorry...that was just such a huge problem for me when I was buying cute little socks that I had to match up for my family....life is sweeter now that everyone pretty much has one style, and none get folded. They are just chucked into drawers unfolded....very freeing.) 
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Post by mouse on Apr 2, 2009 10:40:10 GMT -5
Hi and welcome! Seven kids! Wow. Kudos to you for being able to wrangle all of them! Maybe you could recruit the kids into helping, with responsibilities according to their age and abilities? i.e. older kids can do dishes, take out garbage bags, and take turns cleaning up after pets (if you have pets), and the younger kids can help by tossing small things and keeping their beds made, that sort of thing. Good luck! You have absolutely come to the right place. ~Mouse |
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Post by messyjedi on Apr 2, 2009 13:34:47 GMT -5
I probably have several industrial sized trash bags worth of clothes that the kids no longer wear and are dirty. I have that "someone could use this" guilt. So they sit waiting to be washed. Once they are washed they very rarely make it to donate before they are dirty again. ugh... time to toss... I posted in another thread about this exact same thing. I am new here, so my ideas are still just mine and probably flawed, but some ideas that I have........ if you don't mind some sorting, start going through the bags and sorting out anything that is obviously stained or torn and throw those in the trash. No one else wants the stains and holes either, really. Maybe when you gain some momentum you will be more likely to toss more. Pick a charity, or post on craiglist in the free section or free cycle. Take just one bag of clothes, wash it (on cold so you don't have to sort), dry it, dump it in a bag (don't take time to fold it, then you know as well as I do that it will end up back in the pile) and give it away as is "mixed kids clothes" Then you won't have the guilt of throwing away something useable, but it will be gone with minimal effort on your part. |
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Post by gettingsomewhere on Apr 2, 2009 20:41:04 GMT -5
In a perfect world I would agree with messyjedi, but as someone who has battled this and is still battling i say dump it. Big bags of clothes that you don't need send straight to the bin. Specially if they are dirty. Each bag you let go of is a little space you gain. My new hobby is that I collect space. Join me in this.
I promise you that no one in the world is going to walk around naked just because you bin a few bags of clothes that might be useful. This took me a longtime to accept but it really is helpful. Remember Amnesty. You may throw out anything you want to. Doesn't matter how good it is, how pretty, how nice the person who gave it to you is, how useful, how expensive, blah, blah, blah. If you don't want it, need it, have room for it, throw it out. Now.
Good luck with this Safyre, and huge hugs to you. You can do this. x
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